#Buy Jean An Actual Dildo 2k16
Series Metadata
Listing Series
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Fucking Bananas (Literally) by Ritzy_bird for dollyboy
Fandoms: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
28 Jan 2016
Tags
Summary
Jean is a thirsty, lonely, shameful, yet creative 16 year old. When there are no boys to have sex with, no dildos to be found, suddenly, bananas look appetizing in an entirely different way. Too bad it has a lot of unforeseen consequences.
Series
- Part 1 of #Buy Jean An Actual Dildo 2k16
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Wasting Time in Bathrooms by Ritzy_bird for dollyboy
Fandoms: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
30 Jan 2016
Tags
Summary
Months have passed since Jean last masturbated, which is a long time for a 16 year old boy with a boat load of school stress and sexual tension for his best friend. Jean finally gets the confidence to try and romantically involve himself with Marco, so he decides to "reward" himself with some private time. Private time meaning, realizing that razor blade handles have a very unique shape that could be used as dildos.
*Jean uses the razor HANDLE, he doesn't use the razor blade at all in any way. No gore smut here folks.
Series
- Part 2 of #Buy Jean An Actual Dildo 2k16
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How To Cure A Hangover (Kinda) by Ritzy_bird for dollyboy
Fandoms: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
02 Feb 2016
Tags
Summary
Jean wasn't anti-social per say, but he wasn't exactly a party person. Neither was Marco, but somehow they were both convinced to go to a party under the assumption there would be no drugs or alcohol at said party. Jean gets drunk and confesses his feelings for Marco during the night, but maybe Marco is too worried about getting Jean home safe to pay attention? The next day Jean decides to ease his frustrations, confusion, and horrible hangover by masturbating with a vibrating toothbrush.
Edit: Fixed some issues with the HTML that was deleting chunks of text from the fic.
Series
- Part 3 of #Buy Jean An Actual Dildo 2k16
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Sin: The Gift That Keeps On Giving by Ritzy_bird for dollyboy
Fandoms: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
13 Feb 2016
Tags
Summary
Winter arrives, and Jean swears he'll tell Marco how he really feels about him. He has the perfect chance during the holidays, under the safety of a skype call which could easily be disconnected if things went wrong... But not before masturbating with one of the many holy crosses at his disposal, because Jean is very weak and thirsty.
Series
- Part 4 of #Buy Jean An Actual Dildo 2k16
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Bittersweet (A Homonym and Innuendo) by Ritzy_bird for dollyboy
Fandoms: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
28 Jul 2016
Tags
Summary
Jean's an idiot. An overly emotional, pessimistic, hideous idiot, and he knows it. At least there's one thing that cheers him up that's never let him down before: Masturbating.
Love is in the airAlternatively: The one where Marco calls Jean cute. And Valentine's Day.
**The "some minor tags omitted to avoid spoilers" thing? None of those omitted tags are triggery, negative, or harmful things. Just story things. Like if I didn't tag "coming out" if I wanted it to be a surprise that Jean comes out to someone in the story, but more important. Important minor tags.
Series
- Part 5 of #Buy Jean An Actual Dildo 2k16
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Masturbation Can Be "Magical" by Ritzy_bird for dollyboy
Fandoms: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
06 Aug 2016
Tags
Summary
Marco couldn't let Jean wallow in shame over something as tame as shoving a banana up his ass once. At least Jean didn't try putting an expensive, collectible crystal figurine up his ass instead. Really, Marco should've gone for produce, too.
**If you're not interested in reading the entire "#Buy Jean A Dildo 2k16" series to understand this one-shot, don't worry! I know 160k words is a lot to read just to enjoy a single one-shot, but you will definitely be able to understand the plot without having read a shred of the rest of the series. But it would make me happy if you DID read that 160k+ series!
That being said:
This contains MAJOR spoilers for the 5th part of the series "Bittersweet" and so while this is much shorter and technically takes place in between the 4th and 5th parts of the series, I am BEGGING you (if you're a current reader of the series) not to read this until you've finished "Bittersweet".Series
- Part 6 of #Buy Jean An Actual Dildo 2k16
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Don't Make It Weird by Ritzy_bird for dollyboy
Fandoms: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
28 Jan 2017
Tags
Summary
Jean's trying to make things go back to normal, to stop loving Marco. But that's kinda hard when he really, really doesn't want to. And maybe, Marco doesn't want it to either. Maybe. Possibly. Who can tell when Marco won't talk about his feelings? At the very least, neither of them want to destroy their friendship, whatever happens.
And maybe Jean can finally get that dildo he so desperately needs.
**The lack of ratings/tags is to avoid assumptions of the plot seeing as this is the last part in the series. However as like last time, there are no common negative/triggering elements in the plot whatsoever because that's not what this story is about, and the Happy Ending tag is 100% accurate. Happy endings are what I live for, and there aren't enough in the SNK fandom if you ask me.
Series
- Part 7 of #Buy Jean An Actual Dildo 2k16