This is entirely for humorous purposes, and none of it is meant to be taken seriously.
Constantly being added to, but here's a reference for what I've got so far.
The characters and the horrible things I’ve done to them:
Desmond – Freshman, undeclared major. Didn’t really want to do the whole ‘college’ thing, but his dad pressured him into it.
Connor – Freshman, Desmond’s roommate. Wants to go to law school and become a defense lawyer—to help out the little guy.
Ezio – Senior, Connor and Desmond’s RA. Communications major. He may not party too much, but when he does, he is the life of the event.
Leonardo – Assisstant professor, teaching a bizarre mix of art and engineering courses (the university was short-staffed). Struck up a friendship with Ezio, mostly due to the fact that he will never have to teach him.
Sofia – Freshman, English Literature major. Loves books more than you, and the sassiest thing in the English department.
Lucy – Freshman, political science major, very studious and focused on her work. Occasionally manages to pencil in a social life between study blocks. Grades papers for Vidic to get a bit of spending money.
Rebecca – Freshman, Engineering major. Retains knowledge easily, and, as such, needs to study little to maintain a near-perfect GPA.
Shaun – Sophomore, history major. Lives in the same dorm as Desmond and Connor. Probably only has friends because his note-taking and organizational skills make him the best person to study with.
Altair – Second-year graduate student, microbiology with a focus in virology. Works in a research lab, and is a little too laid-back about it, considering he handles live viruses and deadly machines on a daily basis. His advisor, Dr. A. Mualim, is convinced he can do no wrong.
Kadar – Junior, biology major, undergraduate researcher in the same lab Altair works in (much to Altair’s dismay). Earnest and hard-working, even after three years as a starving college student. Somehow.
Malik – Second-year graduate student, ornithology, Ezio’s former RA. Works out in the nature area near the university; his thesis project is a diversity map of the birds in the area. He has a permanent tension headache that he calls “Altair and Kadar working in a lab with diseases and deadly chemicals; oh god this can only end in tragedy.” His left arm was bitten off by a shark when he was 8.
Maria – First-year graduate student, biology, Altair and Malik’s third roommate (a decision she regrets on a daily basis). Very dedicated to her study/graduate project, yet still manages to find time to make sure her roommates are occasionally leaving their labs to eat and sleep.
Haytham – Tenured professor of economics. Known for making his classes hellishly difficult but being obnoxiously charming as he does it. He and Connor studiously avoid one another on campus.
Clay - ???, The unstable ex-student who lives in a hidden room in the computer science building. Trusts Desmond for some reason.
Vidic – Tenured professor of philosophy. A gigantic dick. Desmond’s personal arch-nemesis.
Yusuf – Junior, ??? major? Major in partying? The frat boy who really really really wants to be Ezio’s BFF (Ezio tolerates him, initially, but eventually grows to like him). Speaks in puns, and is loved by just about everyone else. An eventual member of the SSPC.
Antonio - Assisstant professor of political science. Has some pretty radical opinions, and is known for being easily side-tracked onto misc. discussions by his students.
Rosa - Third-year graduate student, Antonio’s TA and a constant source of sass in his life. She wants to get into politics. God help the world when she does.
Daniel - Sophomore, major in kinesiology, in the same frat as Yusuf, but the douchey kind of frat boy rather than the cool kind. Went to high school with Rebecca and Lucy, and used to be really nice. Secretly sees a therapist twice a week.
Aveline - Second-year graduate student, economics. The darling of the economics department, but had as shrewd a head for business as anyone that’s ever walked through those doors. Her goal is to one day run a business that provides opportunities to many people, and good working conditions and benefits to all her employees. Even Haytham begrudgingly respects her.
