love's leap of faith
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Love, he realizes with an agonizing clarity, isn’t always enough. Sometimes, it’s the thing that tears you apart, the thing that leaves you empty. And sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, you have to let them go.
Tooru was a part of him — his best and worst, his everything. And now, with that part gone, Hajime doesn’t know who he is anymore. He doesn’t know how to be without him.
They had tried. God, they had tried so hard. But sometimes, love isn’t enough to save you. Sometimes, it’s the thing that breaks you the most. And Hajime is left, with only the shattered pieces of something that was once whole.
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- Part 1 of love's leap of faith
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“Then why?” He croaks, voice barely more than a whisper, rough and unsteady. His throat is dry, and his eyes burn. He feels like crying. He feels like collapsing. He feels like screaming. “Why’d you leave me like that?”
He looks beautiful now. Even in this moment, even with the sadness weighing heavy between them.“Because I was hurt,” Tooru finally says, voice so quiet Hajime almost doesn’t hear. “You hurt me, and I hurt you, and we were tearing each other apart, Hajime. I couldn’t stay if it meant making you hate me.”
“I would’ve fought for us, Tooru. Fuck, I would’ve changed myself— I would’ve been better for you. I would’ve fought for you to stay.” His voice is rising, strained, breaking under the weight of everything he’s kept inside. “I loved— love you. I still fucking love you, Tooru, and it hurts. Every day without you is killing me, and I— I don’t know what to do.”
Series
- Part 2 of love's leap of faith