The Sun Inside Your Heart
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Summary
Not for the first time, Illuga thinks there must be something wrong with him. Maybe he’s been possessed by the Wild Hunt. Maybe the kuuvahki is finally getting to him; one too many mandragoras, or something like that.
Either way, there has to be a reason. Why else would Illuga keep letting Lohen into his bed? Why else would Illuga allow Lohen to use his body again and again, leaving Illuga with bruised skin, aching bones, and a weary heart?
‘Friends with benefits’ is a phrase he’s heard before, and it makes sense. The life of a Lightkeeper can be cold and lonely, so it’s only natural to seek warmth and comfort from another. But Illuga never expected to find himself in such an arrangement, if what they have can even be called that. Lohen’s rough treatment offers no benefits, and they certainly aren’t friends. Illuga doesn’t even like him.
This can’t possibly be what Flins had in mind when he suggested that Illuga take up a new hobby.
Series
- Part 1 of The Sun Inside Your Heart
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Summary
Face flushed and wet with tears, Illuga looks so completely overwhelmed. It’s obviously his first time with someone like Lohen, someone who refuses to treat him like a perfect, precious prince. He bets that everyone who has ever been so lucky as to part Illuga’s thighs has taken him with nothing but respect, showering him with affection and maybe even love. What makes Illuga so worthy of that? What makes Illuga so different from him?
Bitterness, with all the disgusting acidity of bile, surges through him. You’re just like me, and I’ll prove it to you. I’ll tear you apart, feather by feather, if that’s what it takes. I’ll set you free, little bird.
How is it possible to want to hurt someone so badly while also wanting to take away all their pain? It’s pure madness, the way Illuga makes him feel, and yet Lohen has never claimed to be anything but.
Series
- Part 2 of The Sun Inside Your Heart