Phineas and Ferb Bullshit

Series Metadata

Listing Series

• The one where there's a fake prostitute. by BlenderShrimp

  Fandoms: Phineas and Ferb  

  • Teen And Up Audiences
  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • M/M
  • Work in Progress

  11 Jul 2026

  Tags

  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Major Monogram
  • Heinz Doofenshmirtz
  • Major Monogram (Phineas and Ferb)
  • Carl Karl
  • Mentioned Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb) - Character
  • half crackfic
  • Heinz almost kills himself
  • Author Has Never Played Call Of Duty
  • not that it matters
  • The Author Regrets Nothing
  • Song: Two Trucks (Lemon Demon)
  • Autistic Heinz Doofenshmirtz
  • probably
  • If its funny I write it
  • How Do I Tag
  • The first Heinz/Francis fic like ever
  • "Major" Francis Monogram doesn't know that being gay is an option
  • the best fanfic ever
  • Trans Heinz Doofenshmirtz
  • Author is Projecting

  Summary

  Oh yeah, Carl has to pretend to be a prostitute. It doesn't work or actually do anything for the story; he just does.
  Cyberbullying your employee's nemesis to attempted suicide while they're on break to stop him from pirating the adult versions of a kids' comic series is normal, right?
  No, there isn't a better title. I checked. This is the best one.
  Or better chapter titles. They're all going to be written like shitty news articles. Fuck you.
  I don't mean that I'm sorry.
  Most of this would be in the tags, but I don't want to create a bunch of tags that only apply to this fic.

  Series

  • Part 1 of Phineas and Ferb Bullshit

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  2,185

  Chapters:

  2/?

  Kudos:

  1

  Hits:

  16