to love me is to suffer me

Series Metadata

Listing Series

• nights like these by maybe_its_ez

  Fandoms: Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)  

  • Mature
  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • M/M
  • Complete Work

  12 Jun 2026

  Tags

  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
  • Shane Hollander & Hayden Pike
  • Ilya Rozanov
  • Shane Hollander
  • Yuna Hollander
  • Jean-Jacques Boiziau | J. J. Dagenais
  • Hayden Pike
  • Ilya Rozanov Has a Bad Day
  • Depression
  • References to Depression
  • Implied/Referenced Suicide
  • Suicidal Thoughts
  • Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov
  • Ilya Rozanov Needs A Hug
  • Hurt/Comfort
  • Angst
  • Angst and Hurt/Comfort
  • No Smut
  • Author Is Sleep Deprived
  • author can't be arsed with spag
  • Falling In Love
  • no beta we die like my hopes of achieving my predicted grades

  Summary

  Ilya has bad days.

  Shane notices and decides to drive over three hours to Boston after a game to comfort him.

  Oh and they're not together yet he's just doing this for the love of the game (Ilya).

  Series

  • Part 1 of to love me is to suffer me

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  4,293

  Chapters:

  1/1

  Comments:

  10

  Kudos:

  294

  Bookmarks:

  33

  Hits:

  3,081

• one day i am gonna grow wings by maybe_its_ez

  Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types  

  • Mature
  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • M/M
  • Complete Work

  15 Jul 2026

  Tags

  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
  • Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau & Ilya Rozanov
  • Shane Hollander
  • Ilya Rozanov
  • Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau
  • Mental Health Issues
  • Depression
  • Suicide Attempt
  • Past Suicide Attempts
  • References to Depression
  • talk of previous suicide
  • Ilya's mom btw
  • Religious Guilt
  • Internalized Homophobia
  • Good Friend Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau
  • Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau Finds Out About Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
  • POV Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau
  • POV Ilya Rozanov
  • Angst with a Happy Ending
  • Angst
  • this is such a fun one yall
  • deffo was not in a bad mood when I conceptualised it
  • Disordered Eating
  • its bc of the depression but figured I should still tag it
  • Post-Scene: Ilya Rozanov Makes Tuna Melts in Episode: s01e04 Rose
  • have fun
  • No Major Character Death

  Summary

  Honestly, Ilya knew he was fucked. He knew he was heading for a dangerous place. Just when he thought he had hit rock bottom he found out it had a basement but this time he didn’t want to drag himself back from it. So many times he’d done it before. After his mama died, after Sasha, after his first real girlfriend broke up with him because he was too sad and boring, after he realised that going pro in hockey didn’t fix all of his problems. After after after it never bloody stopped like an endless barrage of pain and suffering tailored specifically to him. Every single time, he had managed to claw his way out of whatever hell hole he’d fallen into and every single time he’d fallen back in deeper. 

  What was the fucking point anymore?

  orrrr

  Ilya gets depressed after the tuna melt incident, everyone for the past few weeks has been trying to make him happy until he accidentally outs himself to cliff and he spirals

  Series

  • Part 2 of to love me is to suffer me

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  4,841

  Chapters:

  1/1

  Comments:

  19

  Kudos:

  460

  Bookmarks:

  44

  Hits:

  5,103