Alixie
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Summary
Cas is sick and Dean finds a journal that Cas kept about his time alone as a human.
This fic is a retelling of first half of S9 from Cas's POV (via Cas's journal). Lots of Cas angst/loneliness and a correspondingly equal volume of Dean guilt. Sick fic, hurt/comfort, journal fic, and a Christmas fic too.
NO SLASH but the entire thing features a strong Cas/Dean friendship.
Destiel readers: This entire fic can be read as pre-Destiel (or not, as you prefer), and if you would like to read it that way, I also wrote an optional, explicit, Destiel epilogue chapter just for you guys. :)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 64,314
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,058
- Kudos:
- 4,470
- Bookmarks:
- 1,671
- Hits:
- 113,194
Bookmarked by Alixie
05 Jan 2022
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Summary
Dean is nineteen, and his dad dumps him at Bobby’s for a few weeks to get his head on straight.
Series
- Part 2 of silver linings
Bookmarked by Alixie
04 Nov 2021
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It’s nice not to feel sometimes. Maybe that’s why Cas doesn’t delve too deeply into figuring out what this absence of feeling must mean, because he secretly desires that cold, distant nothing feeling. The more likely reason is that Cas already knows what’s wrong with him. He’s not looking it in the face, not acknowledging the truth of it that sits heavily on his shoulders, pinning him to the earth with its undeniable presence.
See, Jack brokered a deal wherein Cas gave the Empty his grace in exchange for a life back on earth and Cas was wiped clean of every angelic notion to the very dregs. And in its place, there is nothing.
Cas is graceless. Cas is soulless.
Series
- Part 1 of the story they tell later
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,845
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 236
- Kudos:
- 718
- Bookmarks:
- 216
- Hits:
- 12,398
Bookmarked by Alixie
01 Nov 2021
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Summary
Castiel slips from his chair to kneel at Dean’s feet. He takes Dean’s hands in his, and there on the floor holding something with devotion, he understands Communion. He understands Eucharist. He understands believing in someone so deeply that to shelter a piece of them within yourself is an act of untempered faith, love and prayer and deep-wide trust.
*
Cas comes back. Dean can’t stop touching him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,365
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 421
- Kudos:
- 9,683
- Bookmarks:
- 2,224
- Hits:
- 70,957
Bookmarked by Alixie
22 Oct 2021
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Summary
I promised, long ago, to revise and expand my Purgatory series and consolidate it into one fic. Et voila.
Adding, because I always meant to: https://www.tumblr.com/unbefreakinlivable/tagged/runsinthefamily
Rikke did a series of fanart for this fic, for which I am so honoured. I absolutely LOVE her stuff.
Series
- Part 21 of Purgatory
Bookmarked by Alixie
01 Oct 2021