Assault_pear
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Once upon a time, a lonely girl met an abused boy. She gave him a birthday card, he gave her Pixie Stix, and they gave each other confidence. Then they met a stray dog and learned of another world, the sort of world that swallowed brilliant girls and orphan boys whole and left only the bones.
And they decided to Kick. Its. Ass.
They also kind of got engaged, but they'll sort that out later.
(Now a full canon rewrite with 90% less angst and at least 200% more chaos. Highlights include accidental kidnappings, intentional kidnappings, glitterpigs, eldritch horrors, tooth-rotting fluff, bad-ass children, a handful of competent adults, unexpected medieval weaponry, misuse of household cleaning charms & equipment, and unsupervised Lovegoods.)
- Language:
- English
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- 240,714
- Chapters:
- 57/?
- Collections:
- 1
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- 4,319
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Bookmarked by Assault_pear
30 Dec 2025
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Wednesday Addams couldn't care less about her status as an alpha, until she meets her omega in an unlikely place.
Then horny chaos ensues...
Playlist for the story is here
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,585
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 240
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- 1,406
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- 230
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- 47,946
Bookmarked by Assault_pear
17 Oct 2025
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At the Time of the Prophecy by CesarioWriter for beforeyouspeak, drD
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Jul 2026
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Hermione Granger is absolutely ready to confront anything and everything in this world, including learning how to navigate an entirely different socioeconomic structure predicated on a bit of physiology she doesn't even know that she'll be affected by yet. What she isn't ready for is what happens in the Department of Mysteries.
Much less who it happens with.
Bookmarked by Assault_pear
30 Mar 2021
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Une Histoire D'Amour by rice_and_beans for Kamaro0917
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Jan 2021
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A love story.
Chapter 2 is part of Fleurmione Week 2020 Collection- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,382
- Chapters:
- 3/4
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- 1
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- 61
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- 288
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- 42
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- 7,446
Bookmarked by Assault_pear
30 Mar 2021
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There was Fleur, in all her beauty. Her silky blonde hair windswept and feet barefoot. Standing in the quiet, only occasionally disturbed by the low sound of crashing waves upon the coast. There she was, looking down and eyes twinkling, holding her arms out to a tiny figure running toward her. All blue eyes and... red hair.
"Maman!" The little figure - while cute - may as well have been the devil, shouted, only a few steps away from the beautiful blonde woman on the beach.
It didn't take long for a third figure to appear. To follow the little figure until they reached Fleur. Until the redhead - the older one - enclosed her hand in his.
"Good morning, love." The whispered words were almost swept away by the wind, but it was not. No. It only caused the blonde to smile a smile that Hermione would never tire of seeing.
It was bright. Unrestrained in all its glory. It emitted so much happiness that Hermione could always feel herself being drawn to it. The way the corners of her mouth curved had a gravity that rivaled that of the sun, and Hermione was stuck in its orbit.
Hermione would never tire of seeing that smile.
No matter how many times it wasn't aimed at her.
Bookmarked by Assault_pear
29 Mar 2021