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• I take a god to the dentist and attempt aggravated assault. by Calluseum

  Fandoms: The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan  

  • General Audiences
  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • F/M
  • Complete Work

  05 Sep 2025

  Tags

  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Apollo & Calypso (Percy Jackson)
  • Calypso/Leo Valdez
  • Apollo & Leo Valdez
  • Apollo & Calypso & Leo Valdez
  • Apollo (Percy Jackson)
  • Leo Valdez
  • Calypso (Percy Jackson)
  • Melisseus
  • this is my first published fanfic
  • Apollo as Lester Papadopoulos (Percy Jackson)
  • Non Toxic Leo/Calypso
  • sorry - Freeform
  • english is my first language
  • I just listen to stuff while writing this and not fully pay attention
  • Autistic Lester
  • Leo Valdez Has ADHD
  • Calypso is also there
  • I don't really like Calypso
  • Sorry die hard Calypso fans
  • (If you exist)
  • Did anyone know about Melisseus before this?
  • If you didn't know Melisseus is basically the Titan form of Aristeaus
  • Aristaeus is the Greek god of Honey and bees
  • fun fact
  • Melisseus' name literally means honey man
  • And while his parentage is up in the air
  • Because no one really cared about him
  • He did actually father the nymphs who raised Zeus
  • And No I don't mean the Meliai
  • Also Aristaeus is a son of Apollo
  • So if you were wondering about when Calypso says that Apollo cried at a bee
  • He was thinking about Aristaeus
  • Author has ADHD
  • I Do
  • It's bad

  Summary

  The thing about gods is that they don't exactly have hygiene. No showers, no toilets, or any anything else your mom used to scold you about. So when you take a god, plop him into the world as 16 year old with no mortal mother to tell him to wear...say deodorant. (And no Lester, you cannot magically make your pits stink less). He's going to be petty and never take A SHOWER! Or brush his teeth. Which is how I ended up with a hammer in my hands, a girlfriend obsessed with donuts, and a traumatized 16 year old, high on toothpaste.

  Series

  • Part 1 of Leo, and Calypso's repair shop + Lesteropoulos

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  3,052

  Chapters:

  1/1

  Comments:

  2

  Kudos:

  11

  Bookmarks:

  3

  Hits:

  135