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Summary
Marlene McKinnon has been taking notice of Dorcas Meadowes a lot recently, in ways girls shouldn’t take notice of other girls. Watching Dorcas and her boyfriend Dirk Cresswell together fills her with a strange, foreign rage. Marlene has always run on a short fuse, but lately, she has been seconds away from losing it. Gryffindor Quidditch Captain Dorcas senses a strain in her team and does everything she can to mend it, trying to work out whatever is going on with Marlene before it costs them the Cup.
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“I found myself only existing when you do it too, when you glance at me, when you summon my name, when you whisper your soul to me in the crib of the starred darkness.”
Or,
Marlene McKinnon likes to makes lists, adores her friends, and has a crush on Dorcas Meadowes, it’s simple.
It's easy to be charmed by her.
Dorcas Meadowes has made it clear that she doesn’t like her, that’s also simple. She hates her, even, and Marlene can’t figure out why.
Marlene also doesn’t know how to do romance: she can’t flirt, she says the wrong things at the wrong time, and she is terrible at expressing her feelings. So, just a few months before graduation, she asks for the help of the only two idiots that, Merlin knows how, are also the most romantic people that Marlene knows: James Potter and Sirius Black. After lists, failed attempts, embarrassing moments, her whole friend group being too invested in this, and a surprisingly well written love letter, the situation slips entirely from Marlene’s fingers.
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Marlene and Dorcas have hated each other ever since their first day at Hogwarts, and that's how it will always be. Marlene is in Gryffindor and Dorcas is in Slytherin. They were meant to hate each other, it's just how it works. The two houses have been rivals since the beginning of Hogwarts history so why should Marlene and Dorcas be any different?
Marlene is busy trying to not live up to her mother's expectations and Dorcas is just trying to get through her sixth year without being noticed. What could go wrong?
(A lot)
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This work isn't hosted on the Archive so this blurb might not be complete or accurate.
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Bookmarked by Hufflepuff718
01 Nov 2025
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The Plot Predicted To Fail by Dinosaur555
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauders - Fandom
23 Aug 2022
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“Ok,” Marlene shrugged. “Do you wanna just do a prediction for me now?”
“Aren’t we supposed to get a bit better acquainted? It works better if-”
“Yeah, look, I know but I’m really not in the mood to like, make friends and ask each other our favourite colour so-” Marlene gestured for Dorcas to get on with it, “Just do what you got to do with the crystal, I’ll make notes.”
“Yeah, fine.”
~
After Sirius and Mary start dating eachother, Remus and Marlene decide that fake dating each other may be the best way to get their respective crushes attention. Unfortunately, Marlene keeps getting distracted by a certain uptight Slytherin girl in her divination class who predicts her plan will not be successful.
I don't support JK Rowling's transphobic views.
