Kouster



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    “I’m putting in a transfer request to Carleton this afternoon.”

    Ilya gets off his bike and wraps his sweaty arms around Shane’s sweaty shoulders, presses their sweaty heads together and holds him tight. “Nooo, Hollander, you cannot leave me. Who will put Barrett and Marly in time out when they fuck up too many shots in a row?”

    “I’m sure Bood will do it. He loves bossing people around.”

    Bood stands up straight and salutes his captains. “I take the title with great honor. Enjoy the Ravens, Hollander—your legacy of being a chaste Victorian debutante will be remembered fondly but not carried on.”

    This snaps that last thread of Shane’s refined patience. “I can pick up girls! I have no problem getting numbers and calling them and talking!”

    Hazy smirks. “Innocent until proven guilty.”

    “I can pick people up,” Shane says again, moving off his bike and out of Ilya’s sweaty embrace. “And I don’t have to do it by concocting schemes or stripping on top of the LAX bros’ coffee table.”

    Or, after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally

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    17 Feb 2026

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    “Are you going to kill me, Satoru?” Suguru asks, the words dripping from his tongue like honey. “You should. I’ve done a lot of terrible things.”

    “I guess that depends,” he replies, his voice surprisingly even. “Do you regret any of them?”

    Suguru’s smile deepens. “No.”

    Suguru Geto defects from jujutsu society in 2007, after killing one hundred and twelve non-sorcerers in a remote village in northern Japan.

    He returns in 2016, a suitcase in one hand and two thirteen year old girls hanging onto the other.

    Understandably, this causes a few issues.

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    20 Apr 2025

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    "Alright, alright," Satoru waves his hand. "I won't sleep with your friend," he promises.

    Like a liar.

    It's not his fault that ship has already sailed.

    or, Satoru and Suguru lie about not sleeping together, whilst definitely sleeping together

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    18 Apr 2025

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    When they stepped into the hallway, it didn’t take long for Suguru to sense something Haibara had just debunked. He paused and tilted his head, to see if he was just sensing a lingering scent from downstairs.

    “I thought you said no co-ed?” Suguru asked, continuing down the hall toward his room number. “I can smell an omega.”

    _____

    Suguru's new roommate is a prime alpha, just like him. Except Satoru's a special kind of prime alpha--just not in the way either of them think.

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    15 Apr 2025

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    Suguru dead-eyes him across the table.

    “Please listen to me, man.” Satoru says.

    “No.” Suguru responds in that long suffering way that means he’s going to listen to Satoru but he’s gonna be pissy about it first. “It’s, fucking, 7AM.” Suguru adds. Suguru is not a morning person. It’s why Satoru went and bought the fancy coffee Suguru likes and breakfast sandwiches and red bean buns. He had to go to the bakery across town to get those.

    “It’s so important.” Satoru tells him.

    “Your opening gambit at 7-fucking-AM was ‘say I’ve gotten into anal play lately, why do I leak cum before I cum?’” Suguru says with a glare.

    “Yeah.” Satoru says.

    Suguru glares even harder.

    “Well, you could answer me at least.” Satoru huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

    “I hope you fall off a bridge and die.” Suguru tells him, but he’s unwrapping a breakfast sandwich and pulling the lid off one of the cups of coffee, so.

    “I hope you do too.” Satoru says amicably, taking a seat. He pushes some napkins toward Suguru and switches out the breakfast sandwich. Suguru likes the ones with avocado better. “So why do I?”

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    17 Jan 2025