LouKelli
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Summary
Welcome to Traxx, open 'til Midnight!
It’s the summer of '94 and Mal Hopper is newly single, watering her plants and (sort of, almost) thriving in the big city.
She's sworn off love or anything like it. Enter our favorite charming metal head who is determined to spin her world right ‘round like a record, baby.
Mixtapes, meddling friends and miscommunication abound. The record store rom-com nobody asked for.
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,379
- Kudos:
- 29,988
- Bookmarks:
- 11,903
- Hits:
- 1,791,567
Bookmarked by LouKelli
05 Jan 2026
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Richie knows she would never admit it to herself, let alone to him, because it’s totally antithetical to the carefully constructed independent woman take no prisoners masterchef girlboss extraordinaire thing she has going on, but Sydney fucking lives to be told she’s doing a good job. She fucking gets off on it.
Bookmarked by LouKelli
28 Aug 2025
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Losely inspired by the 1991 film, Frankie and Jhonnie.
Sydney’s hopes and dreams had been shattered in New York and now all she wanted was a simple and boring life. She found it at The Beef but she didn't expect an obnoxious and loud blue eyed man to put it all at risk with his love confessions.
Bookmarked by LouKelli
21 Aug 2025
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The kitchen is hot. Richie is worse.
Bookmarked by LouKelli
21 Aug 2025
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🎸🛠️ Summary:
You're not the kind of girl who goes out. But one night, you do. And that's the night he walks in, older, rougher, all smirk and swagger. Mechanic Eddie Munson, with his big hands, filthy mouth, and eyes like trouble.This is Eddie before “Grease And Honey” Before he settled down with his “Honey”.
Tonight, he’s still a fuckboy.
But tonight, he’s yours.
Series
- Part 16 of Stranger Things One-Shots
- Part 2 of Grease And Honey Series
Bookmarked by LouKelli
14 Jul 2025