StarfireJ



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    Joseph looks down at his watch to check the time and if he needs to make a very special appearance tonight, but suddenly, there’s some shouting in the distance and Joseph looks back up only to see a pair of shoes careening toward him as someone dives into the car through the still-open passenger window, shouting, “Drive, idiot!"

    Joseph, fortunately quick on his feet, does as he's told. Peeling out of his parking spot, he speeds down the road as Caesar adjusts his position to actually sit in the passenger seat and begins to load his pistol. “Hey, I was just going to check on you! How did it go?”

    Caesar glares at him as he forces the cartridge in. “It was going great before you commed me, asshole.”

    “Oh,” Joseph mutters, taking a sharp right toward the industrial district, “is that why you hung up?”

     

    note added 9/28/20: fic is rated M until chapter 42, then rated E after chapter 43

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,637
    Chapters:
    46/?
    Comments:
    1,257
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    4,189
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    25 Jun 2020

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Things are going to shit, and the future is looking pretty grim. Caesar has resolved to study alongside Joseph to face the threat of the Pillar Men together, but Joseph doesn’t even seem to take any of it seriously.

    With less than a month before the deadly wedding rings break open, time is running out to help Joseph master the art of not goofing off, and when it comes to training him, Caesar has to make lemonade out of some pretty crappy lemons.
    Can these two goofballs keep their tempers (and other things) in check long enough for both of them to learn how to survive the ghosts of the past, the Pillar Men - and each other?

    (New readers: Feel free to skip the first 4 chapters or so if you want to get to the plot!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    203,186
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    362
    Kudos:
    531
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    115
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    16,626

    21 Jun 2020

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Caesar Zeppeli is a cupid of special renown, and not because he's never missed a heart he's aimed at. No, his reputation stems from a remarkable, intimate knowledge of the human heart that allows him to help those would-be hopeless cases find love they thought could never be. But when it comes to Joseph Joestar, who in all his optimism and tenacity has been unable to find and keep love, it seems that Caesar might have a few more things to learn, not just about the human heart, but also his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,773
    Chapters:
    9/14
    Comments:
    343
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    1,674
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    298
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    43,306

    20 Jun 2020

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    After a moment, Caesar registered a blurred moving object passing in front of his face. A second later, there was a,
    “Hello? Dude, can you take our order?”
    More blinking. More time to register. There was a lot of green, but maybe it was a face.
    “Welcome to the Daily Grind. What can I get for you today?”
    “Um, buddy, my eyes are up here.”
    Caesar was a tall guy. Like, annoyingly tall. Sometimes-he-hit-his-head-on-doorframes tall. But Caesar had to actually tilt his head up to look this guy square in the eye. He was a basketball player. He had to be. What else could he be doing with all that height?
    In a moment of horror, Caesar realized he had been talking directly into this customer’s chest.
    “You’ve got quite a pair of pecs,” Caesar heard himself say.
    --
    The coffee shop AU no one needed or asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,252
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    186
    Kudos:
    838
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    103
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    9,429

    17 Jun 2020