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  1. Public Bookmark 14

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    Summary

    "What, no! I am a real animal, maybe we just have a bad connection, I'm sorry about that!"
    "Will you tell me you're not an anomaly? just say 'I'm not an anomaly please."
    "..."
    "I am a real animal."

     
    Hi! My name is Squid. This is the first fic I've written. I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did writing it!

    Headcanons:

    ⚠︎ Intern is an anomaly.

    Intern is nonbinary. They/them

    Secret Agent is a cis male. He/him

    Head Nurse is a cis female. She/her

    Nurse is a cis female. She/her

    Security (I don't what to call these, but if you know please tell me, ty!) he/they

    Paramedic is a cis male. He/him

    Barney and Ratthew are both cis.

     


     

     

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,123
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    14
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    01 Aug 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Cowboy Shane almost kills Ilya
    (Ilya finds Cowboy Shane very hot)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,596
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    1,632
    Bookmarks:
    255
    Hits:
    19,683

    08 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane sat on the edge of the lounger, his eyes fixed on Ilya’s hands as he rolled. He was in total awe. Watching Ilya was like watching a master craftsman; there was a fluid sort of grace to the way his large, scarred fingers manipulated the delicate paper. The hands that spent all winter punching pucks and shoving opponents were suddenly performing a task that required the precision of a watchmaker.

    He licked the adhesive strip with a quick swipe of his tongue and sealed it, twisting the end into a neat point. 

    “Fuck” Shane nearly moaned.

    Ilya chuckled. “We have not even started moy kotenok. Be patient.”

    Ilya grabbed the lighter from the table and lit the end, the cherry glowing a bright, steady orange. He took a small, controlled puff to ensure it was burning evenly, then turned to Shane. “Okay. Do not pull like you are gasping for air. Just a soft breath. Into the mouth, then take a little fresh air with it to the lungs. Then, hold it for a second before breathing out.”

    Or: After figuring out some patterns and doing research, Shane smokes weed for the first time and thoroughly enjoys himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,216
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    96
    Kudos:
    2,144
    Bookmarks:
    780
    Hits:
    41,807

    12 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 34

    Tags
    Summary

    “I’m right here.”

    Needing his husband, Ilya takes a few strides towards him and confidently connects their lips. Shane immediately kisses him back, lets out a choked sound, and after a few moments, Ilya feels him twitch against his own thigh. He smiles into the kiss.

    Like he said: easy.

    And they say Ilya himself is the horny one. It’s definitely Shane.

    --------

    Or: Shane and Ilya are on a roadtrip with Shane's parents. They need to take care of business (obviously)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,108
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    363
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    5,508

    09 Feb 2026