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He'd thrown a big tantrum, like he does best, shoving the mare with little give and running away to go cry and yell. Looking back he regretted ever rejecting her, fresh tears welling up in his eyes.
He hadn't ridden the old mare since he was 13, he’d hit a growth spurt and she was too old to really keep up anymore. They'd attempted to pass her onto Tilly, but she'd only really respond to John.
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John's first ride ever is dying and he has trouble coming to terms with her death.
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Summary
The outlaw lifestyle and the added responsibility of a woman and child add weight onto Arthur's mind and he wants to get out and yet maintain a relationship with the gang. But even Arthur knows he can't have the best of both worlds, he enjoys his time with the gang and Eliza while he still can. He fears Dutch's wrath, and for John's safety.
Writing this for fun hehehe uploading when I want

