biniruru
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As a child battling cancer, Aiah learned early what pain felt like—needles, hospital halls, and the quiet fear of being unseen even by the people who loved her most. In one moment of escape from the sterile cruelty of treatment, she meets a blind girl with a guide dog still in training, and a mother just as sick in her own way.
More than a decade later, Aiah is grown, carrying her past quietly, believing she has outgrown the soft, sunlit kind of love she once imagined.
In a crowded bar after a gig, surrounded by old crushes and familiar noise, she comes face-to-face with a stranger whose presence unsettles her in a way she can't explain.
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"We shouldn't be doing this. Mali 'to, Aiah." Bulong ni Maloi. Her breath smelled like alcohol and it indulged Aiah all the more, itching to pull her in and actually have a taste of it.
"Then I'll be your mistake," Aiah pulled Maloi by the waist, longing for her warmth. Their forehead leaned against each other's and their lips were barely centimeters apart. Aiah moved back a bit, staring at Maloi with the same intensity that the latter had. They kept doing this for the past few months—just staring, running around each other's circles but never really meeting halfway. Their eyes did not scream anything else—only one thing.
Desperation.
"Pagod na akong maging tama, Mal."
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Was this how it felt like? To see someone you desperately wanted—loved slowly fall for somebody else and all you can do is stand aside and watch? Maybe she was too young when she watched How I Met Your Mother that she didn't understand Ted's monologue that goes, "If you're looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you—it's love. And when you love, you don't stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy. Even then; especially then. You just—you don't give up! Because if I could give up-if I could just, you know, take the whole world's advice and-and move on and find someone else, that wouldn't be love. That would be-that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for."
Colet was no disposable thing. She was everything worth fighting for.
But how do you fight a battle that ended long before it even began?
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When they arrived, they entered the church and sat on the last pew. She reached out to hold Aiah's hand and kissed the back of her palm.
"Best birthday gift ever." She said and Aiah smiled.
"If you spent your years trying to fight your feelings, I spent mine praying for you. You are my silent angel, Mikha."