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    “So, Mosshead, what d’ya say? Wanna ditch this party and get outta here?” Sanji winked at Zoro, giving him his best winning smile, making sure the camera got it too.

    The green-haired oaf sitting across the table grimaced, swallowing, and if Sanji didn’t know any better he could have sworn the guy blushed. Usopp gave him a thumbs up. Zoro rolled his eyes. “Sure, cook.” Tacky. But it would do. “Lead the way.”

    .

    Vivi, a seasoned dungeon master, decided to start a pirate-themed DND podcast called 'One Piece'. Sanji easily agreed to join, along with Vivi's new girlfriend and her friends. Unfortunately for him, that included a rather attractive green-haired kendo champion.

    In the game, Sanji's attempts to seduce NPCs were becoming ever-futile. With such horrible luck, he jokingly quipped that it wouldn't even matter if he tried to seduce Zoro. Naturally, he managed to roll a nat 20, kicking off his and Zoro's turbulent in game relationship.

    Too bad real life wasn't nearly that simple.

    Language:
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    27 Feb 2024

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “You know none of this is true, right?” The shitty hunter soaks in the tacky decor of the coffee shop with visible distaste.

    “What?”

    “Vamps don’t actually turn into bats,” he huffs, poking at a dangling plastic decoration. “And they sure as hell don’t wear capes, either. They look just like any average person. That’s what makes them so dangerous.”

    “Oh. I had no idea,” lies Sanji, who is most definitely an average person and not a vampire. He shoots the mosshead his best customer service smile, the one that screams sir, this is just an innocent local business with no affiliation to vampires, the Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus. “Can I get you anything?”

    Alternatively: In this economy, you gotta do what you gotta do. Some people hunt rogue vampires. Others run coffee shops that cater specifically to their fellow creatures of the night, and try their best not to get staked through the heart (or fall in love).

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    18 Feb 2024