burstofpeony
Recent works
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Summary
Hermione knows nothing about music, or management, or navigating contracts, or any of that. She just has a dud of a law degree and a few community college finance courses under her belt. But when her old schoolmates beg her to help out their struggling band just on the verge of success, she can’t say no. And she turns out to be pretty decent at the whole manager thing, honestly. On a whirlwind, last minute tour, she grows closer to the members of the band, specifically guitarist Pansy Parkinson, who really has changed so much from when they were in school.
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Hermione’s worst nightmare has come true. Her ex-girlfriend, Mira fucking Korning, is running for Minister of Magic. Everywhere Hermione turns, there’s Mira’s smiling face, pledging to do better by their fucking country.
She decides to put it completely out of her mind, until she starts being contacted by Mira’s campaign. Pansy Parkinson, Hermione’s old schoolmate and, apparently, Mira’s campaign manager, wants Hermione, using her status as “Girl Who Helped Harry Potter Save The World” and, of course, “Mira’s Token Minority Ex-Girlfriend”, to help get Mira elected. Hermione would rather die. And then Hermione starts getting letters from Mira’s opponent, asking Hermione if she wants to be his campaign manager, all with the end goal of taking Mira down. And she hasn’t dabbled in politics in years, but honestly, how much different could this be from getting one of Ron’s brothers elected to city council? And, plus, Smith isn’t that bad.
She underestimates how cutthroat Parkinson is, though. And how smart, driven, and passionate, too. Sometimes Hermione just can’t get her out of her head.
But nothing will stop her from winning against Mira once and for all. At least, that’s what Hermione keeps telling herself. -
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Pansy Parkinson has never really talked to Hermione Granger. Yeah, they’ve been in the same classes since middle school, and they probably pass each other in the halls dozens of times a day, but they’ve never, like, spoken. Even though they work at the same ratty, old diner after school, Hermione’s shifts go from 3pm to 7pm, and Pansy’s always late to her 7pm to 11pm shift. Until, you know, Pansy needs someone to cover her shift. And she knows where Hermione hangs out at lunch, with her football playing friends, and she’s seen her walk around with the same branded apron, has swept into the diner as Hermione’s leaving and, well, it’s not like she has any other choice, does she?
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Hermione and Pansy’s eighth year at Hogwarts is coming to an uninspiring and rather dull end. After almost nine months of monotonous classes, stressful exams, and all of the other wonders of almost-adulthood, both are ready to get the fuck out of Hogwarts and not look back. The only consolation lies just beyond graduation-- Pansy has accepted a dream job offer, and the paperwork for Hermione’s London apartment has, at last, been finalized.
But, of course, it can’t last. When two idiots in their Charms class get into a fight, Pansy and Hermione are at the wrong place during the wrong time, and because of it they’re plunged into a chaotic and seemingly never-ending situation that threatens to derail their lives as they know it.
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“What? What are you talking about?”
Draco sighs, shaking his head. “I’m saying that if you want to win this campaign, you have to be in a relationship.”
“Well, I’m not in a relationship,” Hermione snaps. “This entire discussion is wasting time, okay? We just have to find another angle. Maybe focusing on my political record--”
“I have someone. Someone who’s willing to help you out.”
Hermione pauses. Even Ginny’s gaze snaps up from her phone.
“Say that again?”
“Pansy Parkinson. From school. She’s been living in Paris for the past couple years, doing charity work and dabbling in local politics. She’s willing to pose as your very serious girlfriend until the end of the campaign.” Draco waves his hand around. “For something in return, of course.”
“No-- absolutely not!” Hermione says sharply. “We can’t do that!”
Draco cocks his head. “Can’t we, though?”
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Hermione’s on track to become the youngest Minister of Magic in history. There’s just one issue-- the polls hate her. Well, the polls hate her gayness, specifically. When a solution is presented that could fix everything, who’s she to decline?