14 Works by coldmackerel
Listing Works
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fatin ruminates on the homosexual tendencies of the female species and leah, her dearest maniac, brings her sentimental ocean garbage. she's just lining up her options.
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elena felton makes just above £50,000 in any given year with minor, unremarkable fluctuations depending on the hilarious nothing-titles she’s given and shuffled between - and that’s enough to go for drinks on weekends, but it’s not enough to ask the what or the why or the how when eve polastri-park-something shows up at MI6 after years and so does the other one.
they can't be together. but they're certainly not apart, are they?
[complete.]
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eve reads with robots and isn’t very nice. these are both very attractive qualities in a woman. it’s a shame villanelle has to kill her and a bigger shame she can’t.
how gauche.
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A hospital, a moment removed. Eve dislikes conveying, in any capacity.
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- Part 2 of these mortifying ordeals
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graduating from the school of never forgive and never forget by coldmackerel
Fandoms: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
02 Aug 2020
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The seat directly in front of the grill is open and don’t mind if she does. She folds her hands on the dirty counter and stares intently at the back of the cook’s head. So she’s one day out of prison: just thin, precarious ice between her feet and spending the rest of her best years behind bars, and she’s decided she’s going to stomp.
She’s going to ruin everything.
She’s going to physically fight a fry cook at a ten-head diner in the worst part of the city over almost nothing whatsoever.
These are the decisions that make us as people.
[complete.]
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it only takes one summer to: retire, go on holiday, try fishing, get half-stabbed to death in the aftermath of a fallen global crime conglomerate, fake your death, get nostalgic for an ex, show up unannounced, get answers.
[complete.]
Series
- Part 1 of these mortifying ordeals
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nicole discovers that for the price of seven good cows, you can accidentally acquire a wife.
waverly thinks nicole would have preferred the cows.
but she can fix that.
[complete.]
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sometimes life is easy and other times you wake up kidnapped in the wilds of remote alaska when your wife expects you home for dinner some two thousand miles away. nicole's life is rarely easy.
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waverly doesn't feel like she's being dramatic when she says that being seventeen, poor, and dateless to prom is the single worst thing that has ever happened to anyone in the history of existence across space and time.
nicole doesn't feel like she's being dramatic when she says she wished she had $4 to buy a sandwich. also, love is dead and nothing matters.
[complete].
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“Who hurt your leg, darlin’?”
Nicole growled at him, but he only softened further. “What’re you doin’ all the way out here? Ward said he had supernatural nonsense on his property again.”
Nicole was about the farthest thing from nonsense. She was twelve and had lots of teeth, thank you very much.
[complete]
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prison comedy, told out of order and out of line.
lexa has the worst prison id number ever, raven needs to expand her vocabulary, clarke can't mop, and putting octavia behind the kitchen line is tantamount to reckless endangerment.
complete.
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There is nothing a little bedrest and irony can't cure.
Lexa is sure the only thing that heals Clarke's mind and keeps her heart thumping against her ribs is an ill-advised amount of the first and a frustrating amount of the second. But Clarke has never been anything less than ill-advised and frustrating. If anybody will survive a hole in their brain, Lexa is sure it will be Clarke.
(At Heda's expense, of course.)
[complete]
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a public service announcement: the campus police would like to politely remind all students, well-wishers, and supporters of the university during this time of serial vandalism that painting on buildings without permission is still illegal. this has not changed no matter how 'cool' you think it is. vandalism has never been nor will it ever be 'radical', 'sick', or any version thereof.
-supervisor lexa woods[complete]
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josh keeps a totally manly diary, everyone learns some things, and everyone pays a price. a story about the comedic undertones of some distinctly not funny things.
complete.