earwigs
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Recent works
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i like defiling r and j canon for some reason by earwigs
Fandoms: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types
28 Apr 2019
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Summary
weird wip i dug up on my docs. tybalt becomes a pirate and has a huge honking dick. the last time it was updated was mid 2018 and i will never finish this but might as well post the first chapter :V
Series
- Part 3 of Unserious
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,061
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 3
- Hits:
- 63
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in soviet russia, canon defiles you by earwigs
Fandoms: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types
28 Apr 2019
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Summary
cheers to another abandoned wip
also from 2018, like maybe around june
cant take credit for ALL the nonsense, since it was pretty evenly divided btw me and two friends who dont use this site
story vaguely resembles plot of the og r and j if you rly stretch ur imagination, but the friar works at mcdonalds and romeo also marries tybaltSeries
- Part 2 of Unserious
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Tags
Summary
wrote this when the meme was relevant and its not anymore but here
Series
- Part 1 of Unserious
Recent series
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Unserious by earwigs
Fandom Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Sprite Cranberry - Fandom
28 Apr 2019
Summary
This is a quarantine for all my old shitposts, for if I decide to ever post any earnest work on this account in the future.
- Words:
- 2,843
- Works:
- 3
Recent bookmarks
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sweeter than candy on a stick by ashaleya-birb (ashush)
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
29 Jan 2026
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Summary
Sixteen days, thirteen minutes, forty-eight seconds since Aventurine arrived at his apartment for their bi-weekly briefing, consulting him about the hypothetical loopholes of his plan, stripping a lollipop open and leaving the wrapper on the cushion, sadly swept away seconds later by the breeze.
Sixteen days, thirteen minutes, fifty-five seconds since Aventurine slid the candy into his mouth, softly humming as he, too, was none the wiser to the thick silence that intruded their conversation. He darts his tongue out, lapping up the suspiciously phallic-shaped nicotine lollipop like it was a lifeline.
Sixteen days, fourteen minutes… Ratio clenches his fist around the throwpillow, nearly slamming it onto his lap to hide the very, very inappropriate reaction to his colleague sucking on a lollipop.
In an attempt to treat Aventurine’s destructive smoking habits, Ratio gives him a box of lollipops, assorted in shapes and flavors.
In this attempt, Ratio treads the path of his own destruction.
Bookmarked by earwigs
30 Jan 2026
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Physiotherapy by Legendaerie for Angel_Bee_blue
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
27 Jan 2026
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Summary
In which Veritas Ratio does not learn from his mistakes, and learns that a penchant for poor decisions can be transmitted via bodily fluids.
Bookmarked by earwigs
28 Jan 2026
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The morals I’m holding, you know they’re gone by HappyBulbasaur for ArcaneStardust
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
25 Jan 2026
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Summary
“I found the execution uncharacteristically sloppy for your standards,” Ratio admits. “The chip was indeed the variable that troubled me.”
Aventurine laughs, bright and amused, the sound brushing against Ratio’s ear like silk. “So you came to me for answers. As you always do, dear Detective.”
As a detective, Ratio’s life revolves around questions he can’t resist solving. But to someone like him, certain problems risk becoming all-consuming fixations, pulling him into the orbit of someone who has captured his attention more than any case could.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,044
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 22
- Kudos:
- 147
- Bookmarks:
- 22
- Hits:
- 1,033
Bookmarked by earwigs
26 Jan 2026
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Oh Honey, Where are You? by sol_larite
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
25 Jan 2026
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Summary
There is a catcake sitting on the coffee table in Aventurine's apartment, though not an unusual sight with how the man currently has three of them in his care, this particular catcake is new, significantly smaller… and oddly familiar. Its shell is in that familiar teal the gambler is fond of; its body in the shade of white and yellow like the colour of his hair. Moreover, on its face dons a pair of pink shades identical to the one the stoneheart favours.
The catcake stretches upwards in greeting; its tail, adorned with the matching watch to Aventurine's pair, wagging in delight upon Ratio's entrance into the living room. It hops down from the low table and bounds itself to the doctor, circling around his legs, its little paws digging into his pants as it meows for his attention.
"…Where did you come from?"
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,316
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 87
- Bookmarks:
- 12
- Hits:
- 463
Bookmarked by earwigs
25 Jan 2026
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Tags
Summary
Two metal rings. Clasped around his buds, connected by a singular gold string. Small charms dangle off the chains and the rings, clearly meant to be decorative. Alluring—
And somehow, a direct shot to Ratio’s ever-diminishing sanity.
—
(aka. Aventurine gets his nipples pierced for Ratio <3 Horny things ensue.)
Bookmarked by earwigs
25 Jan 2026