fireflakesANDinvigorationdraughts



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    Hermione Granger was just trying to have a normal Tuesday. You know: feed her overly dramatic cat, open a definitely-dangerous ancient armoire, ignore Cormac McLaggen until he wanders off to do whatever it is useless men do.

    Instead, she got: A surprise heist, four suspiciously well-coordinated intruders in designer cloaks, one ancient book radiating “murder me” vibes and a front-row seat to what can only be described as a magical boyband breakup under extreme stress.

    Inside the warehouse: Chaos, spells, and a near-bludgeoning featuring one decorative bust. Outside the warehouse: Harry Potter with 36 Aurors, a plan held together with sellotape and rage, and Ron Weasley seconds from committing murder on live Prophet coverage.

    It’s like Ocean’s Eleven had a baby with Die Hard and gave it a wand, a trauma bond, and a lot of feelings no one is emotionally equipped to handle. The intruders say they want the cursed object. Hermione suspects what they really need is group therapy, juice boxes, and a very long nap.

    The Vault is: 50% tension 30% sarcasm 20% bad decisions and 100% one Gryffindor witch with a coin-based panic button saving her own damn life while the wizards argue about tactical logistics.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    136,610
    Chapters:
    35/42
    Comments:
    696
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    340
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    20 Oct 2025

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  2. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    245,779
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    3
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    336

    11 Oct 2025

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    So warm and fluffy and good

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Five years after the Battle of Hogwarts, the wizarding world is what you might call “a godsdamned mess.” The population is dwindling, the economy is suffering, and Hermione Granger has decided to pursue an arranged marriage—but only so she can be nominated to the antiquated Wizengamot, of course. After all, the Wizengamot is ignoring the world’s problems, and Hermione is determined to fix them. Granted, she never expected to be matched with Draco sodding Malfoy—the newest DMLE consultant who wears his Azkaban tattoos as proudly as his childhood sneer. But admittedly, between the turbulence of her farcical relationship, corrupt politicians, and a serial killer on the loose, nothing in Hermione’s life is going according to plan. Maybe hate sex with her husband will help?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    239,257
    Chapters:
    34/38
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    1
    Comments:
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    22 Sep 2025

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  4. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    555,784
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    821

    21 Sep 2025

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Some people are born with soulmarks. Zuko has them, but his grandfather burned them off because they "make you weak."

    Team Avatar has a few things to say about that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,049
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    101
    Comments:
    1,897
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    38,735
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    11,740
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    07 Jun 2024

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