grumby
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As any time traveller can tell you, the biggest risk when you travel back in time is fucking your own grandma and becoming Santa. Or something like that.
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- Part 8 of Reaper Squad Holidays
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“I'm gonna stop you there,” Kravitz said. “I can already tell where this is going, and we're not doing it.”
Merle was a picture of innocence, but, like, one drawn by your three-year-old niece. “Doing what?”
“You killed the Spirit of Labour Day,” Kravitz said. “Next up, some new bullshit will happen - demons, maybe, we've not done demons yet - and then we'll have to deliver the presents, or whatever happens on Labour Day, while you have a party. I'm seeing the trajectory of my Labour Day unfurl in front of me, and I'm not doing it. Especially because we'll end up somehow signed up to this for the rest of our lives, like that Baul Plart podcast every Hatesgiving with those guys.”
Series
- Part 7 of Reaper Squad Holidays
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“I’m not in the mood for a pep talk right now,” Shadowheart said, without turning. “Can it wait until the morning?”
“Ch’k,” an unexpected voice said. “I do not give talks, and if I did they certainly would not be peppy. I merely came to ensure you were not devoured by the native fauna.”After the Gauntlet, Moonrise, and the Shadow Curse, Lae'zel and Shadowheart realise they're not so different.
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“Let’s talk worst case scenarios,” Kravitz said.
“It’s entirely plausible he kills a kid,” Barry replied instantly. “Like, I love the guy. He’s like - definitely not a dad. He’s like the guy your parents make you call uncle because he’s been friends with your dad since college to me. But I really think he could run a kid over in the sleigh, or…”
“What if he’s not watching the reindeer closely enough and one bites a child?” Kravitz posited. “It could ruin a children’s icon forever.”
“I think we’re well past that,” Barry said. “We all had to make our peace with ruining Santa for everyone when we chose to make Merle wear the hat this year. Frankly, best case scenario is that everyone gets a real shitty present.”
“You wanna talk about worst case scenarios?” Lup said, with a thousand-yard stare. Her voice was raspy and heavy. “I know the worst case scenario.” She blinked, her gaze focusing on them again. “The worst case scenario is that he’s better than us.”Series
- Part 6 of Reaper Squad Holidays
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Three undead Reapers discover the holiday magic of scheming and tricks, and learn that maybe the true meaning of Candlenights is the Santa they kidnapped along the way.
Series
- Part 4 of Reaper Squad Holidays