imafuckingdumbass



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane loves yoga. It has always been an escape for him—an escape from his body and his mind. When a bunch of other NHL players interrupt him in a hotel gym during a conference, he is not surprised when they make fun of him, but he is surprised when Ilya asks him to teach them a few poses and they all go along with it. He gets to show off his flexibility, and it seems harmless enough to show off a little extra for Ilya, until-

    “Holy shit, Hollander, wait—can you suck your own cock?”

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    27 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Back in his apartment, post-game haze thick, heat triggered early by a certain alpha, Shane does something he’s never done. He opens the league app, finds the anonymous heat assistance sign-up sheet, and posts.

    Emergency heat. Unbonded omega. One night only. No claiming. No media. Discretion required. Address in DM.

    He hits submit before he can overthink it.

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    24 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “My Shane,” Ilya says, gently touching Shane’s cheek. “I want you to make me a list. Seven different ways you want to come.”

     

    Or, Ilya makes Shane come. A lot.

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    22 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander hasn't been playing well -- he can't focus on or off the ice and his brain feels... fuzzy. Enter Ilya Rozanov, team doctor for the Montreal Voyageurs, who knows exactly what sort of treatment Shane needs.

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    20 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “…You want to?” he asks.

    Shane blinks. “What?”

    “Kiss someone.”

    The question makes Shane’s brain short circuit.

    Shane swallows. “I mean—yeah.”

    “Then why haven’t you?”

    “I don’t know.” Shane shrugs again, shoulders tight. “Timing. People. It’s just… not something I think about like that.”

    That’s not entirely true.

    He does think about it. Just in a different way. Abstractly. Like something other people do, but not he himself.

    Ilya watches him for a long moment.

    “I could show you.”

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    19 Apr 2026