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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    As Kaveh inspects the space that is about to become his new home, he thinks to himself that the room with those marbled counters and a familiar set of wood utensils hanging on the wall. In fact, when he squints closer, he recognizes the model of the stand mixer that’s sitting in the corner. It almost looks like—

    “My name is Al-Haitham,” the man—Al-Haitham, apparently—says, and Kaveh looks at him, looks at the chest that he vaguely recognized, turns to look at the counters that he now pinpoints from motherfucking YouTube, and fully lets his jaw drop again with no regard for propriety.

    Fuck first impressions. It seems that they’ve already had theirs.

    “No the fuck you aren’t,” Kaveh says.

    Kaveh moves into the house of his archnemesis. And then he bakes for him, as one does for their mortal enemy that they definitely don't have a crush on.

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    27 Aug 2024

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Dear Al-Haitham,

    I propose that we meet this Friday at sundown on the southeast edge of the city bordering Avidya Forest. This is a marital engagement. Please come prepared with your sword at the ready.

    With spite,

    Kaveh

    Al-Haitham sets down the letter, letting out a long sigh. After all, isn’t the answer to dealing with domestic disputes not marriage? Isn’t that entirely contradictory to the issue?

    Kaveh sends Al-Haitham martial summons to sort out their issues. Unfortunately, he makes a small error in the letter.

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    25 Aug 2024

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    Tighnari grabs a flower from the table beside him and hands it to Al-Haitham, who stares down at the delicate petals. “Look, you pull the petals off and alternate between saying ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ until you’re left with only the stem.”

    “I’m not here to do teenage girl activities.”

    “We’re healing your inner teenage girl, Al-Haitham; it’d do you more good to pay attention.”

    Al-Haitham furrows his eyebrows and leans forward a little. “I do not have an inner teenage girl.”

    Al-Haitham has a crush.

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    23 Aug 2024

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    “I mean, do you ever stop and think about who your anonymous friend might be?" Tighnari says. "Or like, maybe it’s someone you already know or some random guy in one of your classes.”

    “No,” Kaveh says, thinking. “With my luck, if I did know him already, then he would probably be the worst person I know. Someone like Al-Haitham.” The thought is so absurd that he stops and laughs. “But that would be fucking awful.”

    In Kaveh's humble opinion, the title for The Worst Guy In The World is tied between four people: the asshole in his Tuesday eight am, the employee behind the library email account, the guy writing the university's advice column, and the student that the professor he assists always complains about.

    It would only be too convenient if they were all the same person. (They are.)

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    17 Aug 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    People enter Al-Haitham’s life, and then they leave. That is just the way it is: first it was his parents, and then it was his grandmother, and soon enough, it will be Kaveh. He's already set to have a future that other people could only dream of brushing with their fingers.

    There are much greater things than Al-Haitham in Kaveh's destiny.

    Sometimes all it takes is ten years.

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    14 Aug 2024