swooya
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That’s the problem.
He thinks.
He thinks, I love you, every morning he wakes up and finds Buck making breakfast.
He thinks, I’m in love with you, every time Buck grins at him at the dinner table at the fire station, a quip on the tip of his tongue and a blush high on his cheeks.
He thinks, I don’t want my life without you in it, just like this, forever, when Buck’s sitting on their couch in the hours after Chris has gone to sleep, and exhaustion claws at Eddie’s skin, begging him to follow in his wake. But Buck’s looking at listings, Buck’s looking at listings and their time is limited, and Eddie—
Eddie thinks.
Eddie thinks and thinks and thinks every little thing that matters; every momentous thought that at once feels stifling and freeing in the same fleeting moment.
He thinks, endlessly.
And, hauntingly—
He thinks Buck straight into her arms.
--
Or, Buck's new relationship is moving too fast and Eddie's not sure how to stop it.
Bookmarked by swooya
21 Nov 2025
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“Later,” Eddie manages, voice rough, “we’re gonna circle back to you calling me ‘man’ while my dick’s inside you. ‘Cause that’s— I mean—” He swallows, sharp. “That’s a choice.”
Bookmarked by swooya
17 Nov 2025
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“God, Dad. No.” He huffed in displeasure. “I'm not— It's Buck, Dad.”
Eddie barely ever heard that name anymore, except for an echo in his own head, and he went still, looking down at his phone and then replacing it by his ear.
“What— what about him?” Eddie asked, hoping he sounded less thrown off guard than he felt. Hoping he sounded less breathless through the phone than he did to his own ears.
“I got, um, an invite. To his wedding.”
OR -
A story told across five years. Eddie finds out Buck is marrying someone else and reflects on what brought them to this - and what, if anything, he can do about it.
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- English
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- 66,717
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- 13/13
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Bookmarked by swooya
14 Sep 2025
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“No offense,” says Eddie, clicking his tongue. “But I really hoped I’d never have to see you again.”
“Likewise, Eddie,” says Frank. “I know you never liked therapy. But your captain has mandated it for all of the 118, and you’re no exception. Especially you. Buck was your partner, your—”
“Buck is my partner,” Eddie cuts him short. “His death could never change that.”
He states it as fact. The sun rises every morning and sets every night. There are eight stars in the Big Dipper. Evan Buckley is dead.
_____
OR the one where Evan Buckley's heart never started beating again, but he came back to haunt Eddie Diaz anyway.
- Language:
- English
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- 17,300
- Chapters:
- 4/4
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- 1
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- 1,092
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Bookmarked by swooya
02 Jul 2025
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“Sure, I love the zoo.” Chris is saying with that perfectly adorable giggle that makes Eddie want to melt whenever he hears it—which is far too infrequently these days. “My dad takes me there all the time.”
Eddie’s head snaps up at that, quick and sharp. His fingers go numb and he scrambles uselessly with the tongs as they fall with a loud clatter against the grill.
Because Eddie can count the times he’s been to the zoo on one hand.
It’s Buck who’s been taking Christopher there nearly once a week for years.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,884
- Chapters:
- 6/6
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- 6
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- 203
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Bookmarked by swooya
26 Jun 2025