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After getting hit by a weird Devil Fruit ability, Sanji wakes up on a submarine—smaller, weaker, and seriously pissed off. And to make things worse, the first thing he sees is Trafalgar Law, who’s already getting on his nerves. Stuck in a body that barely feels like his own but just as stubborn, Sanji is determined to get back to his crew—preferably after landing a solid kick to Law’s smug ass.
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“Kami berlima sekaligus? Otou-sama dan Okaa-sama serius?” Reiju sedikit heran dengan ‘titah’ kedua orang tuanya saat memanggil kelima anaknya berkumpul di istana utama kerajaan Germa.
“Ya. Kalian sudah terlalu lama bersantai di sini. Berlayarlah dan lihat dunia! Ada begitu banyak hal menarik di sana,” ujar Jajji, pemimpin utama kerajaan Germa, didampingi oleh istrinya yang jelita.
“Tapi kalau kami semua pergi, bagaimana kalau Otou-sama butuh menggerakkan pasukan?” tanya Ichiji.
“Aku masih sanggup mengurus kerajaan ini tanpa bantuan bocah-bocah seperti kalian,” Jajji menepuk sandaran tangan di kursinya, “Jadi!!”
Suara kencang itu membuat lima anak Vinsmoke berdiri tegak.
“Sampai aku panggil, kalian tidak boleh kembali ke Germa.”
Sementara sang ratu hanya tersenyum manis di sebelah suaminya. Sungguh, siapapun tak akan mampu membantah di hadapan senyum surgawi seperti itu.
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“No!” Sanji snarls, heaving backwards, “I don’t want you near them!”
“Fuck you!” Zoro shouts back and presses forward. The blond throws a leg up to launch him back across the kitchen but Zoro growls and blocks him with Wado’s sheath.
“Zoro!” Sanji says his name like a curse as his hands are snatched up, tears spilling over. “You need to stay away from me.”
“I think we’ve been apart long enough, don’t you?” Zoro growled, gathering Sanji’s hands between his own and knocking their foreheads. His gray eye was a storm. Fury and despair in tumultuous waves.
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A Zosan twist on the hypothetical "What if Sanji left Whole Cake with the explosive cuffs and they were real." Follows to the end of the Wano arc. -
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“You know none of this is true, right?” The shitty hunter soaks in the tacky decor of the coffee shop with visible distaste.“What?”
“Vamps don’t actually turn into bats,” he huffs, poking at a dangling plastic decoration. “And they sure as hell don’t wear capes, either. They look just like any average person. That’s what makes them so dangerous.”
“Oh. I had no idea,” lies Sanji, who is most definitely an average person and not a vampire. He shoots the mosshead his best customer service smile, the one that screams sir, this is just an innocent local business with no affiliation to vampires, the Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus. “Can I get you anything?”
Alternatively: In this economy, you gotta do what you gotta do. Some people hunt rogue vampires. Others run coffee shops that cater specifically to their fellow creatures of the night, and try their best not to get staked through the heart (or fall in love).
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Summary
With the benefit of hindsight, Sanji supposes he should have seen this coming.

