Chapter Text
Bill Cipher was terrified. Stan’s mindscape was up in flames, the memory ray destroying everything inside, including Stan and himself.
“Y-YOU IDIOT! DON’T YOU REALIZE THAT YOU’RE DESTROYING YOUR OWN MIND TOO?” Bill cried.
“Eh,” Stan shrugged, “Wasn’t like I was using this space much, anyway.”
“LET ME OUT OF HERE! LET ME OUT!” Bill turned away from Stan and desperately tried to make a portal out, but the magic sputtered and died. “WHY ISN’T THIS WORKING?”
“Hey, look at me.” Stan said forcefully, “Turn around and look at me, you one-eyed demon!”
Bill turned around, his eye wide with fear.
“You’re a real wise guy, but you made one fatal mistake,” said Stan, “You messed with my family.”
“YOU’RE MAKING A MISTAKE! I’LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! MONEY! FAME! RICHES! INFINITE POWER! YOUR OWN GALAXY! PLEASE!” Bill pleaded.
This was it. This was the end of Bill Cipher. All his hopes. All of his dreams. They all were going up in flames: literally.
“A-X-O-L-O-T-L! MY TIME HAS COME TO BURN, I INVOKE THE ANCIENT POWER SO THAT I MAY RETURN!” Bill chanted backwards in desperation as his form glitched into multiple, distorted versions of himself.
He tried his hardest to stabilize his form, but by the time he did so Stan’s fist was heading straight towards him.
“STANLEY!” he shrieked as Stan’s fist closed in on his eye, shattering him into a million pieces.
Then everything went black. He couldn’t see, or feel, or taste, or hear, or smell, or even think. He couldn’t even recognize the face that he even existed. He felt like nothing. He was nothing.
Suddenly, Bill felt a little tingling sensation all over his body. The tingling sensation began to grow, until he could faintly feel the dew-covered grass beneath his back and the cool mountain air surrounding him. These senses began to grow until his eyes shot open and he let out a yelp, like he had woken from a nightmare.
Bill sat up, panting for breath. He just couldn’t believe it: he was alive. But something seemed off. Despite all of his other senses working fine, he still couldn’t see anything. He blinked once and nothing happened. He blinked again, but to no avail. He started blinking frantically, hoping that somehow his sight would be restored.
“NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!” Bill shouted as he stood up.
He started pacing back and forth, running his fingers through his hair. He then became more frightened as he started to realize he had hair. Bill stopped pacing and started feeling his entire body in hopes that his suspicions were not true. However, as he touched the squishy flesh that covered his face he knew: the Axolotl had turned him into a human, and even worse, had taken away his sight.
“IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?” Bill shouted at the sky.
He knew that the Axolotl was watching him. Probably laughing their little ass off, too.
Furiously he walked forward, muttering swears against the Axolotl until he ran face first into a tree.
“SHIT!” he said under his breath as he rubbed his nose.
Irritated, Bill turned away from the tree and placed his hands in front of him so that he could feel the area in front of him. Carefully, he started to move, trying his hardest not to trip or run into anything. Despite his efforts, he stubbed his toe on something that was made of stone.
“AGH!” he screamed in frustration.
He kept moving around and running into trees and such for some time, but made very little progress. After a few hours, he found a tree and sat down on the ground, placing his back against its trunk.
“SO HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF HERE?” Bill shouted, knowing that the Axolotl was listening. “DIDN’T THINK THAT THROUGH, DID YA’!”
Bill laughed bitterly.
“GREAT JOB, BUDDY. YOU WANTED ME TO DO SOMETHING TO ATONE MY ‘SINS’? WELL GUESS WHAT? I’M PROBABLY GOING TO DIE OUT HERE BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO BE FUNNY AND TAKE AWAY THE ALL-SEEING-EYE’S SIGHT!”
Bill sighed. He really was going to die out here. He had no idea where he was other than that he was in some forest somewhere, he couldn’t see so he couldn’t find his way around, and despite possessing human forms on multiple occasions he had no idea how to even take care of one. But then again, what was he to expect from that frilly asshole anyways.
The air started to grow colder as the sun began to set. Bill brought his legs closer to his body and hugged himself to try and keep warm.
“SO THIS IS WHAT HELL IS LIKE,” he thought to himself. “AT LEAST THE AXOLOTL COULD’VE BEEN THOUGHTFUL ENOUGH TO GIVE ME CLOTHES.”
He sat like this for a while, until suddenly a twig snapped. Bill’s head instinctively shot in the direction of the noise, but it was no use. He still couldn’t see anything.
The noise began to move closer and closer to him, until a feminine voice said, “What’s a person like you doing out here? Without a flashlight? Or provisions? Or clothes?”
The woman’s voice (or at least he thought she was a woman) was silky smooth and sounded like it was somewhere in the alto range. Despite his distaste for flesh bags, he was ecstatic over the fact that someone was there.
“Seriously man, are you okay?” the voice asked.
“NO,” Bill replied.
They were silent for a little bit.
“Do you know what happened?” she asked.
“HONESTLY DOLL, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT HERE OR WHERE THE HELL I AM,” Bill said.
“Wild night, eh?” the voice chuckled.
“YEAH, YOU COULD SAY THAT.”
“Alright then,” the voice stayed quiet for a minute before softly saying, “Hey, are you blind?”
“YEAH. WHY ARE YOU ASKING?”
“Because I literally just held my hand out for a minute without you shaking it.”
Bill remained still and silent. The fact that somebody was going to shake his hand without making a deal was extremely uncomfortable to him. However, the voice didn’t know this so she grabbed his hand and shook it.
“My name’s Devi,” she said, continuing to shake his hand, “What’s yours?”
Bill paused for a moment before saying, “William. My name’s William.”
Devi grabbed both of his hands and pulled Bill up from the ground.
“Well come on William. Let’s go to my place and find you some clothes.” she said as she started to guide him through the forest. “After you are decent you can call up some of your buddies to get you a ride home.”
“A-ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Bill said. “YOU’RE GOING TO LET SOME NAKED STRANGER YOU JUST MET IN THE WOODS INTO YOUR HOUSE AND YOU DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?”
“Nope!” Devi replied.
“FAIR ENOUGH.”
“Now if you’re done complaining, could you please step up the pace?” Devi said. “I know you’re blind and all but it’s getting dark and everybody knows it’s not the smartest idea to be outside in the forest at night in Gravity Falls.”
She started to walk a bit faster, but was still considerate of Bill’s condition, alerting him of any hanging branches or rocks that could harm him. But Bill didn’t really notice any of this. All Bill could think of is that he still was in that hick town, even after dying for who knows how long.
“HEY WHAT’S THE DATE?” Bill asked.
“September 1st.” Devi replied.
“Dude, what the hell were you smoking last night that made you forget what year it is and where can I get it? Anyways, It’s 2021.”
Bill was shocked. He’d been gone for over 9 years. How old would it make those brats who ruined him? Twenty-two maybe? He wasn’t sure.
Devi continued to lead Bill through the woods until Devi said, “Here we are. Home sweet home. I know you can’t see it, so I just wanted to let you know.”
“THANKS,” Bill replied flatly.
“Also dude,” she said, “I kinda live with my girlfriend and she might freak out.”
“SHE MIGHT FREAK OUT?” Bill asked.
“Okay Mr. Smarty Pants. She will freak out.” she replied. “But don’t worry I’ll calm her down. I’ve done stranger things.”
Bill was puzzled for a minute. What the hell had this kid done that was stranger than this for a human?
“Alright man, Watch your step.” Devi said as she pulled Bill up the stairs, “There’s three of them.”
She then opened the door and shouted loudly, “HEY BABE. I FOUND THIS NAKED BLIND GUY IN THE WOODS AND AM LETTING HIM BORROW SOME CLOTHES AND USE THE PHONE IS THAT OKAY?”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” a high pitched, nasally voice asked from upstairs. "OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN YOUR LIFE, THIS IS PROBABLY THE SECOND STUPIDEST IF YOU'RE NOT JOKING! SO PLEASE TELL ME YOUR NOT JOKING!"
For some reason that voice sounded familiar to Bill, but he couldn’t quite place it.
“NO I’M NOT! CAN YOU GRAB SOME CLOTHES FROM UPSTAIRS FOR THIS GUY!” Devi responded.
There was a short moment of silence.
“FINE! JUST WAIT A MINUTE! IN THE MEANTIME FIND A BLANKET FOR HIM OR SOMETHING!” the woman upstairs yelled.
“I LOVE YOU, BABE!” Devi said.
"LOVE YOU, TOO. WHY ELSE WOULD I PUT UP WITH YOUR SHENANIGANS?"
Bill heard some shuffling of drawers upstairs, probably Devi’s girlfriend looking for some clothes. He then felt something soft go over his shoulders that was probably a blanket.
“IS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?” Bill asked Devi as he wrapped the blanket around himself.
“Yeah.” She said. “Her name’s Mabel Pines and she’s a fucking goddess.”
“OH NO.” Bill thought to himself.
Things were going to get interesting.