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'Why did it have to be this song?' Barry thought, as he tapped his fingers on the table with idle distraction. He felt his shoulders tense up, even more so than they were already, as a few notes from the nearby piano did anything but calm him. He was sat in the corner of a bar, where Oliver had dragged him so that they could talk, alone and undisturbed, about Barry handing himself over to aliens. When did this become his life?
Barry tensed, and he clenched his jaw to stop the wobble of his lower lip. He chanced a glance at Oliver, who had ordered their drinks. Oliver met Barry's gaze with a tense smile, which did not reach his eyes.
The dulcet tones of one of the singers washed over them, 'I've heard it said, that people come into our lives, for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led, to those who help us most to grow, if we let them, and we help them in return.'
Oliver turned away to lean on the bar, and Barry stared towards him, unrestrained now that Oliver's back was turned. He felt time slow around him. Oliver looked just as weary as Barry felt: shoulders hunched, and his entire posture tense.
Oliver. Barry couldn't help the small smile which played at the corner of his lips. The lyrics of the song which played in the background resonated with Barry, and he wiped at his eyes as his smile faded. From the moment that he and Oliver had met, all those years ago in Star city, to even recently in the hanger, Barry had grown because of Oliver, had learned so much from him. He hoped that Oliver felt the same way about him, although Oliver was probably too stubborn to admit it.
Time began to move at regular speed again as Oliver turned and moved back over to their corner. Barry watched Oliver's lips move as he began to speak, and he tuned back in.
"There has to be another way," Oliver insisted, but his eyes had a hollow look to them, and he appeared more lost than Barry had ever seen him. Oliver downed his drink in one go and let his glass bang on the table.
"There isn't," Barry offered sadly. "Me, or every meta-human and two million people, one of which could be you. It's not a choice. Don't tell me that you wouldn't do the same thing."
Oliver opened his mouth to speak. He closed it again and looked away just as quickly.
The singer continued in the background, 'I know I'm who I am today, because I knew you.'
Barry ran an agitated hand through his hair.
Without Oliver Queen, there would be no Flash. If Oliver had not believed in him on that rooftop, Barry knew that he would have given up before he even started. No one else had told him that he could make a difference. Barry knew that he was a hero today because of Oliver, and he would not change that for the world, even if they ended up here every time.
"I can't change my mind, Ollie. Cisco is right. This is all my fault. I have to take responsibility for that," Barry said with a shudder as he reached for his glass. He swirled the amber liquid around and watched as his worried reflection became distorted. Barry's shoulders heaved as he sighed, and he took a deep breath as he muttered, "It's OK, really."
"You don't believe that," Oliver insisted. He reached out to place a warm hand on Barry's shoulder. Barry stilled, before he leaned into the touch. "What about us?" Oliver murmured.
Barry looked down and away, unable to meet Oliver's eyes as he replied, dejected, "You ended it, remember?"
"No," Oliver denied with conviction. "I didn't. We just had a difference of opinion, Barry. I was too hard on you, and you did what you always do when things get difficult between us. You ran. I never wanted you to believe that we were done."
Barry's head shot up, and he met Oliver's gaze head on. "For real?"
Oliver nodded, and he broke eye contact when his eyes slipped shut. "I can't lose my guardian angel, Barry."
"Ollie... " Barry bit his bottom lip to stop it from trembling. "I don't... I can't... "
"I know," Oliver ground out through gritted teeth. "Our options are limited."
Barry sighed, and he looked away to gaze around the bar as the music continued on around him.
A second singer joined in. 'It well may be, that we will never meet again, in this life time... '
Barry grimaced, and he turned back to Oliver as he tried to block out the words of the song. The reality of the situation, of what he intended to do, settled deep within him. It was unlikely that he would ever see Oliver again. Was he really going to do this? Was this goodbye? Barry sucked in a deep breath. There was no other way. He had to reassure Oliver that this was okay. "At least this way, I'll pay for what I did to everyone when I changed the time line."
"Pay for your mistakes by being the Flash!" Oliver insisted in a low whisper, as he turned to Barry with anger and hurt in his eyes. "Find another way!"
"I'm a guardian angel, remember? Sacrifice is part of the job description," Barry replied with a humourless laugh. He took a deep breath and gulped down around the lump of worry that had formed in his throat. "At least this way, no one else suffers."
Barry stared down at his phone, and the text that he had sent to Professor Stein. He wouldn't have time to say goodbye to Joe, Iris, and the others, but at least Stein could tell the rest of the team about the sacrifice that Barry had made to keep them safe. Barry winced. They would be angry and hurt, but Barry didn't think that he could have explained this to them in person anyway. It would have hurt too much, and Joe would have locked him in the pipeline. At least, no matter how reluctant he was, Oliver understood. This was just part of the job, the risk that they took every time they put on their masks.
"Barry... " Oliver began, as he stood up from his seat.
Barry held up a hand to stop him, and he failed to control the tremble that raced through him at super speed.
"Tell Joe and Iris that I'm sorry, that I love them," Barry begged. "I don't... I can't say goodbye."
"I know," Oliver murmured with a grimace, but despite his reluctance, he nodded.
"Thank you." Barry offered a small smile, but his expression shattered when he looked into Oliver's eyes. He stood and closed the distance between them to fold himself into Oliver's arms. "I'll never forget you."
Barry felt Oliver's arms tighten around him, and he began to shake apart in Oliver's embrace. Oliver, who he had grown to love more than anyone else during these past few months. The man that he lived with, and fought alongside. Barry gave a watery smile as he remembered the rush of competition when they sparred, and the way that Oliver understood him more than anyone else ever could. He whimpered and buried his head further into Oliver's shoulder. Oliver held him tighter, in a fierce embrace, and he raised a hand to run it through Barry's hair.
"Please, forgive me," Barry murmured. A few hot tears tracked down his cheeks, and onto the smooth leather of Oliver's jacket, which Barry had affectionately referred to as his team up jacket only hours before.
"Always," Oliver assured him with conviction. He lifted Barry's face towards his own and ran a thumb over his cheek in a gentle caress as he wiped away one of his tears. Barry leaned into the touch, and the kiss that followed was tender, slow, and full of despair. "Can you forgive me?"
Barry sniffled and nodded. "Of course."
Barry let his eyes slip closed as Oliver traced rough fingers over his cheek. Perhaps he had learned self-sacrifice from Oliver too. Still, there was no other way. He had to turn himself over to experimentation, torture, and a gruesome death. Barry's bottom lip trembled, and his eyes watered anew.
"If there were another way...," Oliver murmured, as one hand slipped down into his pocket.
"I'd take it," Barry interrupted with wide eyes, and Oliver felt vibrations begin to shake through his lovers entire body, "I don't want to die, Ollie, but I can't let anyone else die either."
"I know," Oliver replied, and he held Barry tighter. He felt the vibrations calm a little as he admitted, quiet, in Barry's ear, "I don't want to let you go. They could drop the bomb anyway, and I'd lose you for nothing."
Barry stepped away, reluctant. He paused for a moment before he replied, eyes downcast, "It's worth the risk."
Oliver cupped Barry's cheek, and he ran his fingers through the hair at the back of Barry's neck. "Not to me."
Barry felt Oliver's lips collide with his own as Oliver engaged him in a fierce kiss. He pressed his lips to Oliver's with equal passion, and his arms looped around Oliver's waist to pull them closer. They lost themselves in each other for a few moments, and only pulled apart when a man coughed behind them.
Barry flushed and leaned his head against Oliver's forehead. He watched as Oliver's hand clenched in his pocket, and he huffed a sigh.
"We should get back," Barry deflected. He glanced away towards the door, shoulders tense, but he hesitated and turned back to Oliver. "You coming?"
Oliver shook his head. "I'll meet you back at the hanger, there's something that I have to do first."
Barry nodded, and he shuddered as he drew in a breath before he dashed in to hug Oliver fiercely.
"I love you," Barry whimpered. In the next second, Oliver's arms were empty.
Oliver remained alone, frozen in place and eyes wide. It was the first time Barry had said those three words to him. Oliver placed a hand over his face and closed his eyes. There was no way he could let it be the last.
"I love you too... " Oliver murmured to an empty space, and he removed a small arrow, laced with horse tranquilliser, from his pocket.
He should have drugged Barry when he had the chance, and thrown him into the pipeline until all this was over. Barry would have been angry, but at least he would have been safe. Oliver cursed as he turned the arrow over in his hand and the song came to a close.
'Because I knew you, I have been changed for good,' the singers concluded in harmony.
Oliver's shoulders heaved as he drew in a deep breath. In the past, he would not have hesitated. Barry had changed him. Without Barry, he would have died fighting Vandal Savage, Harkness, others. Instead, Barry had breezed into Oliver's life, and his eternal optimism had encouraged Oliver to become a better person, someone worthy of Barry's insistence that he was a hero. Barry meant everything to him.
Oliver's grip tightened around the arrow. He winced as it snapped in his grasp and dug into his hand. Oliver dropped the pieces back into his pocket before the sharp edges could draw blood and let the tranquilliser into his own system. He couldn't let Barry do this, but he hadn't stopped him either, even though it would have been easy.
Barry believed that this was the only way to keep everyone safe though. Oliver knew that, if their positions were reversed, he would do exactly as Barry intended to do. Barry would have stopped him though, found another way. Perhaps there was a chance that Oliver still could. There had to be hope. Now, more than ever. Oliver pulled his phone from his pocket as he stepped outside. He swung his leg over his bike, and dialled Caitlin.
"Tell me that you have something," Oliver insisted, desperate, and his voice cracked as he thought of what Barry was willing to sacrifice.
"That bad, huh?" Caitlin asked.
Oliver nodded and muttered, "They want Barry. If it's the only way, you know he won't hesitate."
Oliver heard Caitlin inhale sharply, but her reply was instant. "Stein and his daughter have something. He's on his way to the hanger now. Just try and hold Barry off a little longer. He's hurting right now because of everything that's happened recently, but even Cisco won't want him to die," Caitlin rushed. "Please, don't let him sacrifice himself."
"I won't. Thank you, Caitlin," Oliver replied with conviction. He shuddered and breathed a deep sigh of relief. Perhaps all was not lost after all.