Work Text:
Boys will be Boys
They had been run off the road while on their way back to the hotel. Napoleon remembered the car veering off the road and trees coming at them. That was when everything went black. There was no memory of anything.
He woke up on the floor next to his partner Illya who was still out cold. There was an angry looking bump and bruise over his right eye. By the pain he was feeling he guessed he had a similar injury. Getting up took some effort. He moved around the room testing doors and windows which he found locked and nailed shut. By the time he had come full circle Illya was making signs of coming to. He had barely sat up when the door was opened and armed guards entered with a gurney in tow. They pointed their guns at Napoleon motioning him to step away and then turned to Illya. He was ordered onto the gurney and as he lay back, one of the guards injected a needle into his arm. Within moments he was unconscious.
Napoleon had no time to react as a second gurney was brought in and he was ordered to do the same as Illya. He had no chance of making a break for it so he reluctantly lay down on the gurney and was promptly sedated.
Algelique Le chien watched as the two U.N.C.L.E. agents were brought in. She smiled confidently at the little scientist who began setting up the equipment for age rejuvenation. She could not wait to set her plan in motion. If this little man worked the magic that she had witnessed with his test subjects, then she would have T.H.R.U.S.H central begging for her to join them. She moved to Napoleon's gurney and looked down on her sometime lover.
"Don't worry darling, we'll be enjoying each other again very soon." She leant down and lightly kissed him then left the room with orders to be summoned when the experiment was finished.
The little boy was sitting on his bed cross legged watching the other little boy who hadn't woken up yet. It seemed like forever since he himself had woken up. He was very hungry now and thirsty too. He wondered what he had done to be left here for so long. Suddenly he heard someone at the door and he rushed back under the blankets and pretended he was asleep.
"No sense you lying there pretending, I know you're awake. We've been watching you all the time.",a gruff voice said.
Napoleon opened his eyes and sat up. Food! He jumped out of bed and rushed over to a tray that had been placed on a small table in the corner. The voice belonged to a big man with brown hair and a moustache. Napoleon watched him as he took a sandwich and some cookies and moved back to his bed. For his part, the man didn't pay him much attention. He was checking on the other boy. He looked into his eyes with a light and took his blood pressure. He took his temperature and held his wrist and looked at his watch. Napoleon watched every move he made. Taking a big bite of his sandwich he asked,"What's wrong with him?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full." He swallowed quickly and asked the question again.
"There's nothing wrong. He's just resting. He should be awake soon." Without another word the man left and locked the door behind him. Napoleon finished his sandwich and was starting on his cookies when he looked up and found the bluest eyes he had ever seen staring at him. The other boy was awake.
"Hey you're awake." He jumped off his bed and onto the other boys. "I didn't think you were ever gonna wake up.
My names Napoleon. What's yours?"
The other boy sat up slowly. "Illya. My name is Illya."
Napoleon laughed. "That's a weird name."
"And Napoleon isn't?"
"Good point. Are you hungry?" Illya nodded and watched Napoleon move over to the tray of food. He brought the entire thing over and they munched away. Illya was just finishing his third sandwich when the door opened and Angelique entered.
"Hey Illya, it's your mom." Napoleon exclaimed. Illya looked at Angelique with huge blue eyes and after a moment he scurried over to Napoleon and hid behind him. Angelique narrowed her eyes and took a step towards the boys who quickly got off the bed. She was about to yell when the doctor who had followed her into the room stopped her.
"Wait Miss Le chien."
"What is it?"
"Perhaps we can use this to our advantage."
"What?"
The small man signalled her to step out into the hall. Throwing a hard look at the boys, she spun on her heel and went into the hall.
"This better be good."
"Oh I think it is much better than good. If the boys think you are the little one's mother they are apt to listen better to a parent than a stranger. It will be that much easier to control them." She gave some thought to what the doctor said then turned back to the room and went back in.
Napoleon hurried back to Illya. He had moved to the open door to try and hear what was being said out in the hall. He wasn't too sure what it meant but he knew that he and his new friend weren't safe. He didn't have a chance to talk to Illya before the adults came back into the room. They stared at Angelique and the doctor not sure what to do.
Angelique pasted a fake smile on her face and called to Illya.
"Illya darling, come sit with maman." she said as she sat down on the bed. She held out her hand and waited while Illya slowly made his way to her. He stood looking at her with wide eyes filled with trepidation. The doctor signalled her to hug him and she stiffly held his shoulders and awkwardly hugged the boy. After a few moments, Illya flung his arms around her and gave her a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. She pulled away and frowned at him. Slowly the smile on his face faded. He suddenly looked very frightened and began pulling away from her. The doctor signalled her again and she grabbed Illya by the hand. The boy jumped and looked at Napoleon. Napoleon came up beside him and glared at Angelique.
"Are you sure you're his mom?" He demanded.
"Of course I am," Angelique answered.
"You look too mean to be a mom."
"Why you little....."
"Ah,ah, madame."The doctor interrupted. Angelique took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She starred at the boys and tried to think of what to say. She wondered if she would be able to continue with her plan. She hadn't given any thought to having to deal with the two agents in their younger form. She hadn't realized that they would be anything but compliant. She was hoping that her plan would not take longer than necessary. She came to a decision and stood up.
"I have to talk to the doctor some more. You two will stay here and play or whatever. I will come back later. I want you to listen to the doctor and his helpers and do as you are told. Do you understand?"
"You can't tell me what to do. You're not my mom." Napoleon called out as he headed for the door. The man who had brought food came in the room at that moment and picked him up and dropped him onto his bed none too gently.
Illya followed and put the beds between him and the adults. Angelique let out another sigh and left followed by the doctor. The orderly turned before he left and looked at the boys with a smile.
"You guys stay out of trouble. Don't get that lady mad. That would be a very bad thing." He quietly closed the door behind him.
Angelique slammed into her office and cried out in frustration. Why did things always go sideways when she dealt with Solo and Kuryakin. Nothing ever went smoothly. Her plan was ingenious in it's simplicity. T.H.R.U.S.H had managed to salvage the notes and prototype of the rejuvenation machine that U.N.C.L.E. thought had been destroyed during the Bridge of Lions disaster. THRUSH had rebuilt the machine and had successfully rejuvenated several of their own people with no lasting effects. Angelique had formulated a plan to take UNCLE's best team and reprogram them by rejuvenating them to children then training them to be top T.H.R.U.S.H. agents. Once the rejuvination wore off they would be sent back to U.N.C.L.E as moles and Uncle would be destroyed from within. It was perfect. So why was Angelique worried
Napoleon prowled around the room rechecking the windows to see if he could open one. No such luck. He was bored and getting hungry. Illya sat on the bed rubbing his forehead. He had a headache and was tired. He watched Napoleon wander around. "I don't like it here," Napoleon announced as he joined Illya on the bed. We're locked in here like prisoners. I wanna get out of here and go home. You wanna come with me?" Illya frowned and rubbed his forehead again."What ya keep rubbing your head for?"
"It hurts. A lot."
"Let me see." Napoleon took Illya's face in his hands."I don't see no bump or bruise."
Illya pulled away.
"Well it hurts." he said looking at Napoleon. "Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes I want to go with you."
"Good. You'll like my mom. She's way nicer than yours."
The same man that had brought lunch brought them dinner. Napoleon jumped on the food and ate like a lumberjack. Illya slowly ate a little of everything then pushed it around the plate.
The man bent down and looked at him.
"What;s up little man? You don't like the food?" Illya looked at him and slowly nodded his head.
"It's very good. I'm just not hungry." He rubbed at his forehead. The pain wasn't getting worse it just wasn't going away.
Napoleon spoke up. "His head hurts. But there's no bump or nothing." He eyed Illya's plate. "You gonna eat any more?" he asked as he pulled the plate towards him. Illya got up and went to his bed and lay down. The orderly checked his temperature and tucked him in.
"I'll get you something for the pain in your head."
When he was gone, Napoleon hid a fork and spoon under his matrice. He was sure he could make something like the men in the spy movies and get them out of here.
He was finishing his milk when the orderly came back and gave Illya some medicine. He ordered Napoleon to get ready for bed and waited for him to get into bed. Napoleon took his time getting ready. He wasn't sleepy and wanted to work on escaping. But by the time he had washed up and brushed his teeth he could barely get into his pajamas. The orderly helped him into bed and he was asleep before the man had tucked the blanket around him.
The orderly, named Mathew, entered the observation room and sat down. He checked the camera feeds and adjusted the lights in the boys room. He sat back, pulled out a book he was reading and settled in for the night. By the time midnight rolled around he was chomping at the bit to get out. He was bored and was anxious to get his other .work done
Morning came and the boys were instructed to eat breakfast, wash up and change into the clothes they were given. Dressed identically in gym clothes they were taken to a large room set up with a classroom at one end and a small gym at the other. Excitedly they ran to the sports equipment and started playing. Angelique entered and called them to her.
"Boys! Boys you will come here....now." Illya immediately ran over while Napoleon took his time. Angelique glared at him and he glared right back.
"Sit down."she ordered. "You will listen very carefully because I do not want to repeat myself. You are going to be learning very interesting things in the next two weeks. You must pay attention. If you do not," she took a moment to look directly at Napoleon." you will be severely punished. Do I make myself clear?" She waited tapping her foot until they nodded at her. "Good. You will watch these films, then questioned about what you learned. Make sure that you pay close attention to every detail." That said she left the room.
The boys' attention took mere minutes to wander from the boring educational movie they were being forced to watch. Slowly their attention turned to the sports equipment at the other side of the room. Napoleon was the first to abandon the movie.
"This is stupid Illya. Come on." He made his way to the gym and opened a cupboard. His face broke out into a huge grin and he turned to look at Illya. "Oh yea. We're gonna have some fun."
Illya was a little reluctant to move away from his chair. He didn't want to be punished but he was bored beyond belief. Any guilt he may have had was forgotten when he stood beside Napoleon and stared into the cupboard. Every ball he could ever imagine was there. He looked at Napoleon and grinned widely. They managed to get every ball out of the cupboard and played a mix of dodgeball, basketball, soccer. They ran and jumped and laughed until breathless. They were throwing the balls with all their might at the wall when someone finally came to see what all the noise was. Unfortunately it was Dr.Veern.
"STOP!" he bellowed. Both boys jumped and spun around to face the doctor. Illya was terrified. Napoleon not so much. He starred at the doctor with as much disdain as an eight year old could.
"What? We're not doing nothing. Just throwing some dirty old balls around." He stuck out his chin defiantly.
Veern stomped over to them and started screaming. He grabbed Illya and shook him. Napoleon pushed him away and grabbed Illya by the hand and ran from the room. Not knowing where to go, he led them into a small room at the end of the hall and locked the door.
They had found their way into an office. Napoleon started looking for a phone while Illya looked out the window to try to see if he could maybe signal someone. The window was at ground level and it wasn't long before he saw a woman coming towards them. As she began to pass, he knocked on the window and she stopped. Turning she approached the window and bent down. Illya found himself staring at Angelique. He fell back with a gasp and knocked over several files. Napoleon came to him and wanted to know what was wrong. Illya pointed to the window. Napoleon fell back when he saw Angelique. She was yelling something and motioning them to open the window. There was no way they were going to do it. Napoleon quickly closed the curtains and grabbed Illya who managed to slip on the files that had fallen.
Falling to his knees, IIllya stared at the papers. He recognised the name Napoleon and grabbed at them as he was yanked to his feet by Mathew who had burst into the room followed closely by Angelique and Veern. He shoved the papers under his shirt as he was pulled along by the orderly. Napoleon had the pleasure of being pulled by his ear by Angelique. They were marched back into their room and the adults left, slamming the door behind them. They stood still for several minutes before Napoleon blew a big breath and smiled.
`Did you see how pissed your mom was?" Illya gave a slight smile and nodded his head. They settled on his bed and Illya, with his back to the camera, pulled out the papers from his shirt.
Having been regressed to the ages of seven for Illya and eight for Napoleon the papers were nearly impossible to understand. They recognised their own names and some other words but most was over their heads. They came across the name Alex Waver...something with the word U.N.C.L.E. next to it. Napoleon swore he had an Uncle Alex and that this must be the information sheet parents filled out for emergencies. He studied the papers for a long time trying to glean all the information he could understand. In the end, he came to the belief that his uncle worked at a tailor shop called Del Flo...ree...yas. By the time he was done, he had a plan and he was going to get away from these people and take his new friend with him.
Illya had curled up and fallen asleep next to Napoleon while he had been looking at the papers. He had complained about another headache and not feeling well. Napoleon felt bad for him. His mom didn't seem to care about him and was mean as a snake. He was sure that he would love it at his house. He heard the door being unlocked and quickly hid the papers away and sat next to Illya, crossing his arms.
Angelique entered the room followed by Mathew. She did not look happy. She approached the boys and began to speak but Napoleon spoke first.
"What kind of mom are you?",he demanded.
"I beg your pardon?"
'You heard me. You aren't a good mom. Keeping your son locked up and yelling all the time. He's been sick all this time and I bet you didn't even notice."
"What's wrong with him?" Angelique asked as she took a step back. She glanced at Mathew who stepped forward. He motioned for Napoleon to move away.
Mathew gently woke Illya and turned him onto his back. He took the thermometer from his pocket and out of it's case and slipped it under Illya's tongue. While he waited he checked his pulse.
"What's going on buddy?" he asked.
Illya sighed and fought to keep his eyes open and answered. "My head hurts and my stomach feels funny." He had been checking Illya's temperature while he spoke. He hmmmft and looked at his eyes and had him stick out his tongue.
Angelique was losing patience. "What is wrong with him? she demanded.
Mathew gave her a shrewd look. "Well concerned mother, I think it may be a touch of flu." As if that was a cue, Illya threw up over the side of the bed onto Angelique's shoes. She let out a cry of outrage and stomped out of the room.
Mathew helped Illya clean up and change into pyjamas even though it was noon. He figured the little guy would be more comfortable. Napoleon had been rather quiet during the proceedings. Finally, Mathew sat down at the table where Napoleon had been sitting.
"You feeling okay big guy?"
"Yeah."
"You sure?"
"Yeah" Napoleon sat up straighter and motioned for Mathew to come closer. "I'm getting out of here. "he began."Me and Illya. I'm going to find my uncle Alex. He'll keep us safe."
"How do you plan on doing this son? It's a big city out there. Besides your parents brought you here..."
"No, they didn't!" Napoleon raised his voice."My parents would never bring me to a place like this. Especially if they knew what it was like. I'm leaving and taking Illya with me and that's final!" He jumped off the chair and ran over to Illya. He grabbed his hand and rushed to the door and tried to open it. Locked. He began pounding on it and yelling.
"Let us out of here! You can't keep us here! Hey..."
Mathew came over and stopped him. "Listen to me. You need to calm down. That lady and doctor are mean as snakes and they're already mad. You make them madder and you'll be sorry."
The door suddenly opened and Angelique stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.
"What is all the yelling about?"
Napoleon tried to push past her pulling Illya with him. "Get out of my way. We're getting out of here."
"I don't think so young man." She grabbed both boys by the arm and dragged them back into the room and pushed them onto the beds. Illya was rubbing his head and Napoleon was glaring at her.
"I hate you!" he screamed at her. She took a step forward and slapped him. Napoleon put his hand on his burning cheek and tried unsuccessfully to not cry.
Illya suddenly gasped and pushed his palm against his head and swayed. He reached out to Angelique to stop from falling and clung to her side. Angelique stood stock still with her arms away from her body looking down at the boy.
Mathew watched her and sighed.
"Hey mom, why don't you take care of your son while I take this guy for a bit of a walk and get something to eat?"
She gave a shrewd look which left no room for doubt as to what she thought of his idea. He gave her a cold cloth and mimed what to do with it and took Napoleon out.
She stood for a few moments looking around not wanting to have to deal with little Illya. She had no love loss for big Illya and didn't feel too differently about the young one. Finally, she peeled him off her and took him to his bed. She had him lay down and slapped the cloth on his forehead. Illya looked at her with his big solemn blue eyes.
"What?" Angelique asked. He shook his head and just stared at her. "What are you looking at? What do you want?"
Illya shifted over and made room for her on the bed. She raised her eyebrow and after a moment sat down next to him.
He gave a big sigh and put his head on her lap. She looked around for a few moments, not knowing what to do. Finally, she put a hand on his head and arranged the cool cloth on his forehead
Illya sighed and spoke softly. "It hurts." She wasn't sure if he had actually said something. She bent down closer and he spoke again and this time she heard him. She wasn't sure if she should say something or not so she patted his shoulder. She returned her hand to his head and began stroking his hair. It was so soft and full of different shades of color. She paid a lot of money at the best salons for the same look but it didn't come close to the Russian's. Another reason to dislike him. She got up with a huff and left the room.
Mathew had taken Napoleon to get some food and brought him into the room with the monitors. He shut the door and locked it. He quickly sat next to Napoleon. "You need to listen to me very carefully." he began."I'm going to help you get out of here." Napoleon tried to say something but he was quickly quieted."No, let me finish. Now I want you to think hard. I work for something called the C.I.A.? I am undercover here. That means that they think that I am someone else. I'm going to give you a paper with an address on it and some money for a cab. You and Illya are going to sneak out of here, with my help and go there. Do you understand so far?'' Napoleon nodded. "Good. You'll have to be fast and quiet." Mathew hurried and gathered up some papers and put them in a pouch. He gave a small piece of paper with the address and told Napoleon to read it over again and again in case he lost it. He then unlocked the door and checked the hall and ushered him back to his room.
Forty-five minutes later Napoleon and Illya found themselves in the street behind the building they had been in. It was almost six pm and the sun was low in the sky. It was perfect for their safety but easy for them to get turned around. They finally made it to a busy street but couldn't get a cab to stop for them. Finally, Napoleon spotted a bus and dragged Illya across the street to the stop.
In a performance worthy of Olivier, Napoleon and Illya begged for help telling the driver they were lost-which they were; and that Illya was sick- which he was. By the time they were through they were sitting next to two laddies munching apples and being fussed over. Napoleon had given the address paper to the driver who was familiar with Del Floria's. Though his bus didn't go past it, he could get them both close enough.
Twenty minutes later the driver walked them off the bus and pointed them in the right direction. Napoleon thanked the man and grabbed Illya by the hand and started running towards Del Floria's. But Illya pulled back. He was rubbing his head again and he looked like he was going to be sick.
"Oh no not now. Come on we're almost there. Come on I'll go slow." Illya followed Napoleon and they made their way down the street.
Guiseppe Del Floria was closing up shop for the day. He was flipping over the open sign when he noticed two young boys heading towards the shop. He rushed to lock the door but the bigger one got to it first.
"Sorry, we closed for today."
"No please wait." Napoleon and Illya pushed against the door trying to keep the man from locking them out. As the struggle continued Mark Slate and April Dancer entered from the hidden door behind the change room."
"Hey! What's going on? they both asked.
"These boys won't take no for an answer. They won't let me lock the door."
"Let them in." said Mark."We'll set them straight.
The tailor stepped away from the door and the two boys fell into the shop onto the floor. They picked themselves up and dusted off. "Gees Mister. I hope you treat your customers better." Napoleon said. He gave the adults a serious glare and put his hands on his hips. "I want to see my uncle Alex right away." Illya silently nodded from behind.
The three agents looked at each other confused. "Your uncle Alex?"
'Yeah my uncle alex. His last name is Waver....something." Mark and April looked at each other.
"Do you mean your uncle's name is Alex Waverly."
"Yeah that's it!" Napoleon sighed in relief."I was afraid the C.I.A. guy had the wrong information."
"The who?" April asked surprised.
"C.I.A. guy. He's a spy. He helped us get away from this strange school we were at. It had some crazy looking doctor in charge with Illya's mom and....."
"Wo wo woe."Mark and April both interrupted. "His name is Illya?"
"Yeah."
"What's your name?"
"Napoleon. Napoleon Solo."
You could have heard a pin drop in the shop. Before they knew it they were rushed through the secret entrance and into an elevator. It brought them to a large office with a round table and an old man sitting in front of a board with lights and switches.
Alexander Waverly wasn't sure how to proceed. April had notified him of the situation so he was prepared for what he was going to see when his agents entered his office. He still was caught off guard when his two top agents entered. At the ripe old age of what to him looked like 7 and 8, Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin were exactly what he would have expected them to look like at that age. He had to smile.
Napoleon was watching Waverly closely. "Are you my Uncle Alex?"
"Yes my boy I am." Napoleon gave a great sigh and ran to the head of Uncle North-east and flung his arms around his neck.
He whisper so no one could hear him,"I thought I'd never find you." He pulled away quickly and brushed away some stray tears. He suddenly remembered the pouch that Mathew had given him and untucked it from his pants and from his sweater. He squared his shoulders and stood tall as he handed it to Mr. Waverly. "The C.I.A. guy gave me this to give to you. He said you were to read it then you'd understand." He suddenly became dizzy and stepped back. The room was beginning to spin. He was beginning to panic. He moved to sit in a chair but fell short. The last thing he heard was Illya calling his name.
Napoleon woke up and stared at the doctor that was examing him. He finally looked around and took in his surroundings. He was in a hospital room attatched to some noisy machines. He suddenly began to panic as he didn't see Illya anywhere. "Where's Illya?" he demanded. "What have you done to him? I wanna see him no...." He stopped mid-sentence as a wave of pain passed through his body and doulbled him over. He tried to get out of the bed on the opposite side of the doctor but was stopped before he could fall out.
"Napoleon you need to lie back. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm here to help." the doctor explained as he gently pushed him to lay back down. 'You're very sick and I need you to stay calm and try to relax and be still."
"Where's Illya? I promised him he could come home with me. I promised" Napoleon was almost in tears.
"Okay if I promise to get him will you calm down and try to relax and stay still like I said?"
He nodded, pretty sure he wouldn't be able to talk past the lump in his throat.
The doctor stepped to the door and spoke to someone and came back. He was checking the machines and his iv.
The door suddenly opened and a bed was wheeled into the room and placed along the wall where there were the same machines as on Napoleon's side.
Napoleon sat up and looked at his friend. He was sleeping and had the same tubes and wires in his arms as he did. He started getting out of bed even though he was still in pain and tried to dodge the doctor.
"You promised you would settle down Napoleon."
"I just want to make sure he's okay. I don't trust you. Where's my uncle Alex?"
"Right here my boy" Alexander Waverly had entered the room unnoticed.
"What's going on? Why is Illya not waking up? What did they do to him?"
"Now now my boy. What say you get back into your bed and I'll have the doctor move your friend closed to you?
Napoleon took a moment to think about it then got back into bed. True to his word Waverly had Illya's bed moved right next to Napoleon's. He reached out and touched Illya's head gently on the spot he was always rubbing.
"He says it hurts here." Napoleon doubled over onto his side as once again pain washed over him. The doctor injected a clear liquid into his I.V and he was soon asleep.
"Well doctor what can you tell me?"
"Mr. Waverly I haven't a clue. We checked their blood types and they match Kuryakin and Solo exactly. Finger prints as well. These two boys are Illya Kuryakin and Napoleon Solo."
"How can that be?" The doctor shook his head not having an answer.
George Dennell could be heard arguing with a nurse as he pushed his way into the room.
"We got it!"he exclaimed. "We know what's happened to them."
"Lets go to my office." the doctor said.
"It's the work of that rejuvenation machine that we were suppose to have destroyed." George began. "But T.H.R.U.S.H somehow managed to make it's range farther and the whole thing stronger. The way they changed it, they could regress someone to infancy if they wanted."
"Is it permanent?" asked a very concerned Waverly.
"No. But we don't know how long this lasts." George replied. "We also don't know what the side effects will be or....."
"What? Out with it man!" Waverly was becoming agitated. The doctor and George exchanged glances. They knew that under his serious exterior Waverly had great care for all his agents. They also knew that he had a deep fondness for Solo and Kuryakin. However, they had never witnessed a display of anything other than a cool demeanour from their chief.
George took a deep breath." We don't know if there will be any permanent damage or that they'll survive the reversal process. According to the information in the papers Napoleon brought us, T.H.R.U.S.H. had minimal success with the reversal process with a 93% failure and none of the subjects had been regressed as far as our two men have"
"Go over the information again. Doctor you have a look at them as well. There has to be something there to help us. I'll send Dancer and Slate to see if they can get any information from one of their contacts." Waverly announced and left.
The files were brought to medical and the doctor and George began going over them.
In the end, there was no further information to be had from the papers. Several pages were missing and it was believed that they may contain information they needed. The only thing they could do is keep a close watch on Illya and Napoleon and try to keep them comfortable and alive. The thing that was most prevalent was pain. They were in constant pain. They had been given pain medication and mild sedation to help them cope but it was taking more and more to keep them comfortable. Illya was complaining of a pain on the left side of his forehead and blurry vision. Napoleon complained of shoulder and pain in his right side. The doctor figured that the pain was consistent with injuries one would receive in a car crash which they knew they had been in prior to them being captured. It was finally decided that they would be completely sedated to help them deal with the increasing pain.
Dancer and Slate had been having no success when they were approached by a man with an interesting story. Half way through his explanation they stopped him and brought him to U.N.C.L.E. HQ. There he spoke to `Alexander Waverly and told him everything he had seen at the T.H.R.U.S.H. lab and what he new had been done to his two agents. The man was Mathew Reed from the C.I.A.
At his request, Reed had asked if he could see the two agents and Waverly allowed it. He entered medical and stepped to the side of Napoleon's bed. He smiled down at the young boy and brushed the hair off his forehead.
"You did good little man" he whispered. He turned his attention to Illya and tucked the blanket up to his chin. He thanked Mr Waverly and shook his hand. "I hope they make it." He turned and left.
The next ten days were a struggle. Each man changed almost hourly. They had to be monitored 24 hours a day. Their heart rates were erratic and blood pressure rose and fell like a bouncing ball. Once Napoleon's heart had given out and the medical team had to work to get it back. Kuryakin was slowly fading. All his vitals were slowing down. The doctor worked in frustration. There was nothing he could do but try and keep his patients alive.
Two more days passed. It seemed as though the regression was complete. Both men were back to their normal adult selves. Slowly they were brought out of sedation and left to wake on their own. It was Napoleon who was the first to open his eyes.
Napoleon could tell he was in medical. The sounds and smells were quite familiar to him. He took stock of himself. He was sore everywhere. His head hurt and his ribs on the one side. What had happened? He slowly opened his eyes and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Before he could blink the doctor was beside him taking his pulse and looking over the machines that helped keep him alive.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like I've been run over. Where's Illya?"
"He's right here. He hasn't come to yet. Napoleon how much pain are you in?"
"It hurts everywhere. My ribs and head especially."
"Okay. Well, you were in an accident about 14 days ago. I'll get you something to ease the pain."
"What about Illya?" Napoleon tried to sit up and look at his partner. He wasn't successful.
"I'm not sure yet. He has a head injury that we know of but we haven't been able to find anything else so far.
"Fourteen days you said?"
"Yes."
"How bad was the accident?"
"We don't know because we didn't get to you first. Napoleon you and Illya have had quite an adventure." The doctor explained everything that they knew had happened to the two men. Napoleon listened without interrupting. Finally, when the doctor was finished he tried to come to terms with what had happened to him. He couldn't remember anything but the accident and even that was a mere moment in his memory. He was exhausted and fell back asleep.
Illya came to the following day and as expected had a severe headache. He was suffering from a concussion and the after effects of the regression. The doctor and Napoleon explained to him what had happened and just as Napoleon had been, he too was frustrated with not having any memory of anything. But over time their memory started coming to them. Little bits here and there. Sometimes a sensation or flash of emotion. It took another three days for almost everything to come back. It was surreal to have extra memories of them being seven and eight. They were able to help the lab people with some of the information that Mathew had given Napoleon.
One afternoon Napoleon was relaxing and Illya had dozed off when there was a tap on the door. It opened and a familiar face peered in. It was Mathew.
"Well if it isn't our hero. Illya?...."
"No don't wake him. I can't stay long. I'm heading out on another assignment. Just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing." Napoleon got up and stepped out into the hall with him.
"I can't tell you how thankful we are for everything you did."
"No big. Just returning the favour. You two have helped some of our guys out of worse situations"
"All part of the code." They both smiled.
"Sorry I couldn't get that Angelique. She disappeared like smoke in a wind storm."
"Yes. She has a tendency to have great luck in saving her own neck."
"It was a pretty daring plan though. Even convincing your partner she was his mother...."
"Come again?"
"Yeah she pretended to be his mother to get his trust."
"And he believed her?"
"I don't know. I think he had his doubts. But you believed it but didn't like her."Mathew laughed."Gave her heck for not taking care of him when he was sick." Mathew laughed harder."The look on her face when he threw up all over her feet was priceless."
"You don't say? Well, I'll have to mention that to Illya. I'm sure he'll find it quite interesting.
"Well, I gotta go. It was good seeing you. Glad you and your partner are good to go. Hope to see you some time and get a drink. Take care." Mathew left waving as he turned the corner.
Napoleon entered back into his room and found Illya sitting up wide awake.
"There you are. I was wondering how far you had chased that new nurse."
:Oh not I my dear friend. I was talking to Mathew our C.I.A. friend. He dropped by on his way ot of town. Said to say hello and glad to hear we're on the mend." Napoleon kept looking at Illya with a grin on his face. Illya looked at his partner and raised an eyebrow.
"Something on your mind Napoleon?"
"Well now that you mention it. How much do you recall about Angelique?"
'I remember it was her plan to regress us and was not very patient with our younger selves. In fact, she seemed to be less patient with you than ....with......me."Illya slowly stopped speaking as his memory flooded back. "Oh."
"Yes oh."Napoleon was still grinning.
"Oh" was all Illya seemed to be able to say.
"Imagine that," Napoleon wondered out loud. "Enemies through and through yet one little regression experiment and you're adopted."
"I highly doubt that's true. In fact, I remember it was you who suggested it and I was most unsure. Even regressed I had doubts about the woman."
"Oh come on I remember you with your head on her lap when you weren't feeling well."
"Yes and I also vomited all over her feet."
"Doesn't matter. You weren't 100% sure she wasn't your mom."
"I knew she wasn't my mother."
"Oh really?"
"Yes"
"How?"
"Hair colour."
"Hair colour?"
"Yes."
"Care to elaborate?"
"My hair is naturally blond. Her's is not."
"What?"
"I could tell it was dyed."
"You were seven. No seven year old can tell dyed hair!"
"I could."
"No way! Admit it you had doubts."
"I admit to no such thing. There is no way I would ever think that Angelique Le Chien was my mother."
Six weeks later found the partners in Belgium chasing down leads to a new T.H.R.U.S.H. explosive. Having raided a satrapy they were in the middle of a clean up when Napoleon's attention was caught by a pretty set of legs sitting on a bench across the street. The rest of the woman was behind a newspaper which dropped quickly then flipped back into place in a heart beat. Napoleon wandered across the street and sat down next to the woman.
"Hello, Angelique."
"Napoleon darling whatever are you doing over there?"
"Oh just looking through some information some of your friends left behind. They seemed to be in quite a hurry to leave."
"My friends? I don't think so. I tend to travel in different circles." She put the paper down and watched Illya carry a box to a van."I see you have your guard dog with you.If I throw a stick will he fetch it?"
"Is that any way to talk about your son?"
"Don't be vulgar Napoleon it doesn't suit you."
Napoleon laughed and leant in and kissed her on the cheek."What can I do for you Angelique my darling?"
"Why nothing at all. I was merely in the neighbourhood and thought I'd come say hello."
"That is so nice of you. No really. What do you want?"
"Alright if you must know I fell a little out of favour with central because of the failure of my last project. However, they were rather severe in their admonishment so I feel a little punishment is in order>"
"And?"
She proceeded to give all the information she had on the new explosive. She stood up and kissed Napoleon. She pulled away just as Illya reached them. She glared at him and left.
"Shall I check you for spiders?"
"Now now. It isn't nice to talk about your mother that way.``
Illya made a face. "Don't be vulgar Napoleon."
