Chapter Text
“I love you.” An unexpected whisper next to Jungkook’s ear was enough to make him shiver slightly. Jungkook turned to Taehyung and made a show of rolling his eyes.
“You’re saying that only because I gave you twelve chrysanthemums in an expensive, carefully arranged bouquet,” Jungkook countered.
“Then I’ll say it every time you open your eyes and every time you close them, until you’ll hate me for saying it, but I won’t stop ‘cause I mean it.”
Jungkook leaned in, close enough to make sure Taehyung would feel the traces of his breath lingering on his skin. “Then let’s see who’ll give in first,” he said as he closed the distance between them.
But Taehyung was quick to react, shouting an unapologetic “Oops!” while running ahead to the ice cream shop they were heading to. Jungkook shook his head and smiled, following Taehyung. Just as he arrived at the shop’s door, Taehyung reappeared from the other side with two cones of ice cream.
Strawberry chocolate pistachio flavored.
Jungkook involuntarily groaned. “Taehyung! You know I don’t like that!”
“Here, eat it,” Taehyung said, pushing the ice cream towards Jungkook and purposely ignoring his complaint. “Because of the fact that you actually believed I’ll give in first.”
Jungkook muttered something unintelligible but took the ice cream, making Taehyung beam contentedly, like he himself was the light of day.
True to his word, Taehyung never stopped sending Jungkook lame confessions of his love, from the ice cream shop to their journey towards the Hangang Park, from the morning of the day after their date until the day Jungkook was the one who had to give in.
*****
Jungkook can inhale the faint but lovely scent of the colorful blossoms even before he pushes open the door of the flower shop. Chimes greet him in return, just as the bright smile Jimin, the ever-vibrant florist, greets him with.
“Jungkook-ah! Here for your usual flowers?” Jimin asks.
Jungkook smiles and nods.
The florist moves away from the cash register and walks over to where the chrysanthemums are basking in the sunlight that the open windows offer. Jimin picks up twelve of them– the usual– wraps them in simple hemp paper, holding them together with a red ribbon. Jimin hands the carefully arranged little flower bouquet to Jungkook, who admires the art even after having seen it many times before.
The fresh, wonderful chrysanthemums sit perfectly together, huddled in the little space of the hemp paper. They are all very close to each other, but the single stems aren’t bumping into each other. The colors burst out lively, fragrant scent dancing around Jungkook’s sense of smell. The bouquet is indeed very pretty, has always been, Jungkook thinks.
“It’s been three years since you last visited,” Jimin comments as he receives the payment from Jungkook.
Jungkook smiles again. “I know, sorry for not adding to your revenue.”
The florist laughs heartily, eyes turning into crescents. “Have a nice day, Jungkook-ah!”
*****
It is indeed a nice day. Very wonderful, actually.
Jungkook drops by the ice cream shop that Taehyung had always loved to go to, the latter always ordering the very same flavor every time he stepped foot inside the store. Strawberry chocolate pistachio ice cream.
Queer, odd, but strangely delicious. The frozen delight melts as quickly as it has taken shelter in Jungkook’s palate, but the sigh that leaves Jungkook’s mouth just indicated even more the unparalleled taste of the sweet treat. Taehyung taught him to enjoy it pretty well, after all.
The walk to Hangang Park is accompanied with his strawberry chocolate pistachio ice cream, his flower bouquet, and children with endless peals of laughter, running ahead of Jungkook. There are bicyclists moving around languidly, enjoying the wee hours of a slow Sunday, and Jungkook can see different colors of kites and balloons from a distance. The loud chatters, faint laughters, and distant shouts fill Jungkook’s ears, and he is more than glad to hear them against the bumps of the river streams along the banks.
A faint reminiscence lingers in Jungkook’s mind, and he wishes he could run along with the little kids, play tag and just dissolve into contented chuckles.
But he isn’t a child anymore.
Jungkook looks at his wrist watch, and the hands tell him that it is almost 4pm, and from afar Jungkook can see the sun hovering low over the Han River.
Jungkook sits down in front of their usual spot, facing the river. It is peaceful, it is soft. The water glitters as the rays of sunlight hit its crystalline structures. Jungkook clutches onto the little white and red chrysanthemums in his grasp and inhales one deep breath, taking in the faint but omnipresent scent of love and the flowers in his hands. He lies down on the soft grass bed and flutters his eyes shut.
And allows the memories to wash over him, like raindrops drizzling over the bare spots of his skin.
“I can’t make you happy anymore, I know.”
Taehyung responded with deafening silence, eyes boring into Jungkook’s features.
“I’m only hurting you.”
More silence. Then, a weak, almost inaudible, “You say it like you’re the only one who’s struggling.”
“Then let’s stop.” It was a knee-jerk response, but Jungkook couldn’t say he hadn’t thought about it before. It was just that… they were too young, too naive, too light-hearted, too selfish. They unknowingly started to handle sharp-edged glass shards, throwing them around like they were kids’ toys. Jungkook played too much, became too engrossed with them, not even noticing that he had already wounded Taehyung very badly, who he cared so much deeply for. And Taehyung was too precious for someone like Jungkook to break, Jungkook couldn’t–wouldn’t– bear the thought of hurting Taehyung even more than he already had.
When Jungkook looked up to meet Taehyung’s gaze, his eyes are already flooding with unrelenting tears.
But Taehyung’s own weren’t any different as he pleaded, “Can we… Can we just take a break?”
Jungkook looked down, shook his head, and smiled sadly.
Taehyung reached for Jungkook’s hands and covered them with his own. “I love you.”
There it was again. That never-ending confession ever since Jungkook light-heartedly brought the joke up that day while they were going to the ice cream shop. Taehyung never really did give in, and Jungkook felt bad to be the first one to give in, to let go. It broke his heart into a million pieces just even thinking about it, but Taehyung’s heart had already been broken many more pieces for Jungkook’s own to ever compete with.
“I’m sorry for hurting you so much.”
It was Taehyung’s turn to smile sadly. “If we ever become fine, let’s start again like we don’t know each other.”
Jungkook nodded, despite the disagreement screaming at the back of his mind.
“Take care.”
And Jungkook has never stopped waiting since then.
Jungkook fixes his eyes on the sky, which by now is starting to be painted with different shades of red, pink, purple, and blue. It is colorful, it is lovely, just as it had been every time he and Taehyung went here.
Jungkook likes to think he’s waiting. But of who, what, or when, he can never be sure.
One thing he’s sure of, however, is that Taehyung, the scenes, the memories… Even if everything has already passed, the memories were still everything, every single thing , to Jungkook. They were, and still are, all precious, and the feeling of not wanting anything more washes over Jungkook’s heart, warming him up all throughout. The memories, the scenes, Taehyung, they were all so perfect, so beautiful, even if they were already a thing of the past to Jungkook, maybe even to Taehyung as well. But for the first time in three years, he feels ready to love again, this time to give love more than to just receive it. For the first time in three years, Jungkook is fine. The beautiful memories of Taehyung still burn his heart passionately through the core, but Jungkook is finally an improved version of himself now, one who'd want to give more than what he'd receive, and he's finally, finally fine.
Yep, Jungkook is indeed waiting. But of who, what, or when, he can never be certain.
Jungkook sighs as the sun finally sets, sky turning into a pure red shade. It is getting late and tomorrow will be his first day of work after finally graduating college, and Jungkook doesn’t want to mess up, not this time, so he decides to retire home. The moment he is moving to leave, however, Jungkook feels warmth and turns around as someone shuffles and lies beside him on the patch of grass.
“Are those chrysanthemums?” The stranger gasps, greeting Jungkook with the question.
Jungkook can only stare at the man in question.
The man notices Jungkook staring and quickly says, “Oh, sorry for not introducing myself first.” He wipes his hands on his jeans and offers his hand, inviting Jungkook for a handshake.
But Jungkook can only really stare. It’s been three years since he had allowed his heart to take over his mind. The man’s eyes sparkled even against the reddening sky, dark lashes accentuating them so perfectly, waves of hazelnut hair decorating his forehead effortlessly. Jungkook has never allowed more than half of his heart to openly hope so much ever since the pain he had carelessly caused Taehyung, but everything is beautiful– the man is beautiful.
It’s been three years. Three years since Jungkook has described anyone, or anything, unsurpassably, faultlessly, feverently beautiful.
Sensing Jungkook motionless, the stranger takes it to himself to grab Jungkook’s other hand to slot it perfectly against his own, and he beams like he himself was the light of day.
“Hello, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m– ”