Archive of Our Own ^beta

The briefing for the Justice League’s diplomatic visit to Kitan Prime had seemed simple enough – turn up, make a good impression and nibble bizarre alien hors d'oeuvres for a few hours. Superman had relished the opportunity for a quiet, civilized mission for once. But shortly after landing on the lush, orange planet things had taken a rather unfortunate turn.

“Oh, Kal El!” A singsong voice called from behind him. Clark mentally suppressed a shudder as he turned to face the approaching woman. She was bustling towards him at quite a pace, her multitude of iridescent skirts shimmering in the muted light of the Kitani’s reception hall.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you for the last ten minutes. You haven’t been getting up to mischief I hope.” She grinned at him wolfishly, reaching up to tap him on the nose like a chastised dog.

Clark fixed a smile onto his face. “No, Ma’am.”

“I don’t believe you. That angelic face of yours could hide all manner of… indiscretions.” She replied in a low, soft whisper. Clark tried not to visibly cringe for the fourth time that night.

“Er… right. I’m sorry, Sha Miv, I have to go… confer with my colleagues-“

“Ah, ah ah! I told you to call me Andai. Please Kal, Andai. And this is a party; there is no need for business. Whatever you need to talk about can wait ‘til morning.”

Superman’s eyes desperately raked to room to find a distraction for himself or his rather overbearing companion. He’d tried talking with Green Arrow, Green Lantern and the Martian Manhunter but their presence had hardly deterred her attentions. She’d curled up to him and wrapped one arm around his bicep, muttering in obvious appreciation. The other hand had wandered down his side suggestively and had to be retrieved on a regular basis. Olly had spent half the conversation trying not to laugh into his alcoholic milk, apparently a local delicacy. When all three men had excused themselves to go watch some sort of sport being played across the city the look Clark had shot at their retreating backs almost burned through the walls. But he’d held back - burning the place down really wouldn’t make a good impression. He’d managed to disentangle himself from Sha Miv and escape but the respite hadn’t lasted long.

“I’m sure we can find some way to pass the time tonight.” She added with a wink.

Clark felt a blush creeping up his neck.

Oh boy.

It wasn’t that he was against certain nocturnal activities. In fact, if a certain leather-clad person in the room suggested it he’d agree in a heartbeat and be naked another heartbeat later. But none of his fantasies included a rather self-possessed blue skinned lady with bright pink dreadlocks. “I’m sorry, I really do have to- Ah!” He broke off as Batman, Wonder Woman and Hawk Girl walked into the room, returning from a tour of the capital’s planetary security network. He half turned towards them. “There they are now!” He stepped away from her, only to her fingers curl around his arse. He jumped in surprise and then closed his eyes, making a mental note not to wear spandex on future diplomatic missions.

Andai took his moment of pause to twine her arm around his and pull his ear to her lips. “Don’t be gone too long, my dear.” Mercifully, she let him go and he hurried over to his team mates.

“Hi! How was the tour?”

Batman nodded at him. “Their defenses are adequate. They won’t need much assistance from us if an invasion occurs.”

Clark’s eyes were wandering the crowd as Batman spoke. Andai had half followed him over but was now circling their little group and eyeing both Diana and Shayera with obvious distaste. “Uh, great! That’s good news. Right?”

Batman eyed him curiously at the slightly desperate tone in his voice.

“It is good to see a people aware of the need for defense, yes.” Diana replied. Behind her Andai was glaring daggers, nose in the air. Looks like she was a bitc- er, lady dog, that didn’t like sharing her territory, Clark smiled. Yes, this was good. Hopefully he could get keep everyone talking all night and he wouldn’t fall victim to her again.

“Do you still want to see that memorial garden we saw from the shuttle?” Hawk Girl asked Wonder Woman.

“Yes, those civil war statues looked interesting. Shall we?”

Hawk Girl grinned and the two ladies turned and left, quickly taking to the air as soon as they were outside the door.

Uh oh.

Clark didn’t need to look to know his unwanted admirer was stalking back towards him. He didn’t know how much longer he could be polite to that… woman and not cause an incident. He certainly wasn’t prepared to entertain any of her fantasies for the rest of the night and she just wouldn’t take no for an answer. But what could he do? There was only one thing that seemed to deter her and with the female members of the League gone there was no way he could… Oh. Wait. There was a way. But it would… Would he dare? He just might die. But at the moment that was looking like a disturbingly acceptable alternative. With a deep breath and a silent wish Superman did the only thing he could think of.

“Hey.” He said awkwardly, sidling around next to Batman to wrap an arm around his waist. Nice and high, almost friendly. Yeah, friendly, that was it. Batman was glaring at him out of the edges of his cowl with his best ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ look. Clark swallowed. The man was all muscle and sinew against him. Clark has always imagined Bruce being warm and pliant under his hands. But of course the armour stopped heat just as well as weapons and the Kevlar was cool and solid to the touch.

Andai froze in her steps a mere metre away, mouth frozen in a gape. Clark tried to smile at her, but it was hard with a tense mountain of Kevlar and muscle against his side. He was so going to pay for this. Andai’s eyes were suddenly fire and she stalked towards him. Clark decided to play sheep.

“Hello, Sha Miv. This is Batman, my um… er. Batman.”

Andai eyed the glaring Bruce coldly and then dismissed him with a sniff, turning her gaze to Clark.

“You didn’t say you were coupled.” She snapped.

“I-“

“It’s rather unfair of you to imply intentions you cannot follow up on.”

“Yes, I-“

“You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Yes-”

“I shall make sure you are not allowed to be so lascivious in future.” She looked down her nose up at him.

“Of cour-“

She turned to Batman, eyes narrowed. “I would keep your eye on this one, if I were you.” And with that she turned on her heel and stalked away, skirts swirling about her feet.

Batman’s mouth was curled into that sly little grin of his. He turned to look at Clark fully, eyes scrutinizing his face silently. Clark watched him warily in return.

Eventually Bruce snorted. “Kent, you’re an idiot.” He reached free arm behind his back and found where Clark’s arm crossed his back. Bruce slipped his fingers between Clark’s warm costume and his own Kevlar, running them slowly along the length of Clark’s arm until they reached his hand. The gloved fingers curled into his palm as the gauntlet closed over his hand, gently pulling Clark’s hand away.

“Don’t get yourself into any more trouble.” Batman said, before slipping away into the crowd. Clark was frozen to the spot, eyes wide. Because there was no way that that just happened. No one, least of all Andai, approached him the rest of the night but Clark didn’t mind. His eyes and thoughts were fixed on the enigmatic shadow slowly making his way around the room, more playboy than warrior amongst the glittering gowns and soft light of the chandeliers. Yes, that must be it. Bruce was playing with him, getting him back subtly. Batman was good at subtle.

Clark’s hand was still tingling when he boarded the Javelin with the rest of the League two hours later, feeling the ghost of leather on his skin. It was a long flight home.