Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was sometime after three in the morning. If you could even say morning.

Abigail flopped over once again, trying to fall asleep. Even though the window in her quarters had a blackout curtain, she could still picture the brightness of the sun that never stopped. Living on a space station does wonders for a circadian rhythm. Her green hair was still a bit damp from the shower she took about an hour ago, but so much for showers helping her sleep.

She flopped over on her back and stared at the ceiling.

Abigail Brand was no stranger to space station life. Once upon a time, she was a S.W.O.R.D agent and she did the exact same thing she's doing now. But she couldn't stop feeling like she had a secret weighing on her. It had been a while since she had dealt with sleepless nights and she couldn't figure out what was bothering her. With a huff and one more flop, she nestled into her sheets and forced her eyes closed.

Just when she felt relaxed, there was a soft knock at her door. She opened one eye, unsure of what she heard. Then her door started to slid open. Abigail bolted up, keeping her hand on the gun hidden under her pillow.

"Hey Brand," a quiet voice whispered as a blonde head poked through the doorway.

After her eyes adjusted to the sudden light, she immediately recognized Carol Danvers standing there.

"Danvers, what--"

"Sorry, um," Danvers stood awkwardly in the door. "Sorry to wake you up, but could you help me with something?"

"What is it? And do you know what time it is?" Abigail was a bit confused. She and Danvers were definitely co-workers and teammates - in fact, Carol was her CO. But she didn’t think Danvers considered her the kind of friend you woke up in the middle of the night for help. "I know it's like 3 in the morning, but could you help me find my cat? " Danvers smiled sheepishly. Abigail ignored how her heart fluttered at Carol's adorable smile.

“You woke me up to help me find your Flerken cat?” Abigail shook her head. “Seriously? Isn’t he an alien or something? Plus, aren’t cats nocturnal anyway?”

"Yeah, I know, I know. It sounds stupid. But I haven't actually seen him for the past day and a half. And usually I don't worry, but we've had a lot of traffic on and off the station lately..." Danvers trailed off, frowning in worry.

Abigail sighed, resigning to her sympathetic side. Her heart continued to flip-flop in her chest, and she was suddenly aware that she wasn't wearing any pants. 

"Okay fine. I’ll help you find your Flerken cat," she sighed, hugging the blankets tighter to her chest. "Give me a sec." 

"Oh thank you so much!" her's eyes lit up. Abigail waved her off and she waited for Danvers to close the door. She stood in the dark and slipped on her sweatpants and shoes, trying to get a grip. She took a deep breath to stop the butterflies that suddenly filled her chest and chalked the feeling up to just being extremely tired. As a last minute thought, she discreetly tucked her handgun in the waistband of her sweatpants.

She opened the door to the hallway and winced as her eyes adjusted to the light. It wasn't actually that bright, but it was jarring compared to Abigail's pitch dark room. Once Abigail's eyes adjusted, she noticed how the ambient hall lights made Carol's eyes look soft and warm. 

“Thank you again!” Danvers swung an arm around her waist in a side hug and squeezed.

"You know I'm only doing this because you're the commander," Abigail grumbled and awkwardly slung her arm around Danvers in an effort to return the weird embrace.

"Oh come on, Brand," Danvers chuckled. "Like you would pass up a late night adventure."

Abigail just rolled her eyes.

"Your insomnia is contagious I guess."

"Oh whatever," Danvers chided as they continued down the quiet hallway.

They turned down the next hallway with arms still around each other for a few more moments and Abigail was surprised that her commander didn't seem to notice or care that they were still touching. She glanced over at Danvers who was just half-smiling to herself with her left hand in still in her pocket and her right resting on Abigail's waist. Abigail decided to remove her arm before they ran into anyone else on the space station. When she did, Danvers casually put her right hand back in her pocket without even a glance.

"Have you been drinking?" Abigail asked abruptly. 

Her commander looked at her, bewildered.

"No!" Danvers snapped. "Why do you think that?"

"Sorry, I-" Abigail suddenly felt embarrassed. "Y-You just seemed to be in a really good mood." She hesitated over the word "good" because she wanted to say "weird" or "overly friendly".

At this confession, Danvers just laughed.

"Wow, thanks. Glad to know I'm that uptight."

"No, you're not, I just- you know what, nevermind," Abigail blustered. She knew her CO had been strictly sober for a while, but Danvers just seemed so nonchalant. Abigail wasn't used to interacting with her like this. 

"So where do you think Chewie is?" Abigail cleared her throat, trying to ignore the sudden flush to her cheeks.

"I think we should check the hanger and shuttle bay first, and then maybe the kitchen--" Danvers went on with her ideas of where her cat could possibly be. Abigail couldn't help but notice that she still felt the place where Danvers' hand was on her hip. The spot still felt warm, and it made her heart flutter. It was unnerving.

"--and I think we should check the cargo hold too. What do you think?" Danvers asked as they approached the control pad for the hanger bay door. Still slightly flustered, Abigail just nodded.

She was used to her commander's unconventional methods and often unprofessional exchanges with her crew, but Abigail still couldn't shake the excited, nervous feeling she had when Danvers had her hand around her waist. The butterflies were back again, and Abigail made a fist as she willed them away. She was so used to being stone-cold all the time, and Danvers had suddenly made her feel so undone. Especially when she flashed her dimples. 

As they made their way into the wide bay filled with an assortment of small aircrafts, Abigail felt like she needed to get some space between her and her commander.

"Why don't you fly around to get a better view?" Abigail suggested. "I'll start along the port wall and make my way around. We'll cover more ground that way."

Danvers simply nodded and took off. It was an odd sight to see the mighty Captain Marvel flying around in just a hoodie and sleep shorts. Abigail discreetly threw glances at her zooming around. She was unaccustomed to seeing so much of Danvers' toned legs. Not to mention how cute those shorts were on her. Her heart started to zoom with the Captain, and she had that flustered feeling in her stomach again. She bit the inside of her cheek in frustration and focused her mind back on the task.

What was she even thinking, anyway? Was she suddenly attracted to her commander? Come on, Brand! She scolded herself.

I just need sleep, she thought.

They finished checking the hanger bay and the shuttle bay. They made their way through the labs and through the command bridge. They didn't talk about much besides the regular conversation of operations. Danvers talked about having a night for the crew, maybe a game night, or a party even. It was simple, and there weren't any moments of unscripted touching again. Abigail thought she should feel relieved, but she didn't.

They finally got to the cargo hold. As the door slid open, they were greeted with cold darkness.

"I hope he's not in here," Abigail said with a slight shiver. "Unless his alien-ness makes him impervious to cold."

"Well," Danvers shrugged. "He CAN survive in space."

Before they could search the first section, there was a loud crash on the starboard side, followed by a horrible yowling. Both Danvers and Abigail jumped into defensive poses. Abigail scanned the room as she pulled a small gun from her waistband.

"You think that's your cat?"

"Let’s hope," Danvers said with a nervous chuckle. “Also why do you have a gun!?”

“Why wouldn’t I have a gun?” Abigail retorted. 

"True, it shouldn't be surprising that you, of all people, bring a gun to a search party," Danvers shrugged with a grin.

There was another crash, but it was followed by a rasping sound of metal scraping against metal. Sparks suddenly exploded from the wall opposite of them, and a black object flew towards the commander’s head.

“Duck!” Abigail shouted.

Danvers ducked and Abigail fired two shots at the whirring object. As it clattered to the ground behind them, an orange blur ran out from behind the fallen metal crates and landed on Danvers’ back.

“Ow! Chewie!” she yelped as the cat made its perch on her shoulder.

“Looks like your brave cat saved us from one of the ship’s inspection drones,” Abigail scoffed as they looked at the small pile of wreckage at their feet. Carol groaned and rolled her eyes.

“And how much does it cost to replace one of these?” Abigail continued with a smirk.

“Let’s not talk about it,” Danvers huffed. “Come on, Chewie. Let’s go back to bed.”

They shut the cargo hold doors and walked down the hall.

“I’ll clean that up in the morning,” Danvers said with a defeated half-smile.

“Well, maybe I’ll help,” Abigail murmured, keeping her eyes forward. She realized she really enjoyed spending time with her commander, especially outside of their normal working hours. "And sorry I shot the drone."

“That’s sweet of you, but don’t worry about it. And the drone will probably be fine,” Danvers waved her off. “In fact, why don’t you sleep in? I’ll give you the morning off.”

Abigail shook her head with a smile.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll be okay.”

They approached Abigail’s quarters, and as she reached out to open the door, Danvers stopped her.

“Really though,” Danvers started softly. “Thank you for helping me. I know it was a silly errand, but I just...lately, I just hate being alone.”

“It’s okay, Danvers,” Abigail put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. “I’m here whenever you need me. For a feelings talk, or helping you find your weird cat or whatever.”

Danvers laughed at the mention of their feelings talk they had last week.

“You’re one of the good ones, Brand,” Danvers sighed, and then flashed her dimple. “I’m going to hug you now.”

She pulled Abigail in for a hug. At first, Abigail went stiff as a board. She was not accustomed to hugs, especially from her commanding officer. She finally relaxed, but before she could fully return the hug, it was over.

“Thanks again,” Danvers said. “See you later.”

She turned and continued up the hallway with Chewie still perched on her shoulder. Abigail watched her walk away, suddenly feeling an ache inside her chest. She wanted to ask her to stay. Maybe have another feelings talk. Or try that hug again.

She reluctantly closed her door and went back to bed. She tried to sleep but that nagging thought at the back of her mind wouldn’t go away. And she knew now that the secret was Carol.

Chapter Text

The gym had a huge window on one side that always faced the Sun as the Space Station orbited around the Earth. Of course living on a space station did not help her concept of time one bit, so even though she knew it was technically the middle of the night, Carol felt like it was mid afternoon. She was lying on the bench with 450 pounds on the bar. With each lift she tried to exhale steadily, in a last ditch effort to relax. Even though 450 lbs. was absolutely nothing, she was hoping the repetitive exercise would be soothing. She hadn’t slept in weeks, and she mostly blamed it on living in a place where night never truly came.

Not to mention she had been having horrible dreams. Usually, it was the one with her fighting herself. But sometimes it was Rhodey dying again. Or Jennifer dying, succumbing to her wounds. She hated the image of Jennifer lying in the hospital. She-Hulk looking so small, so helpless surrounded by machines that were trying to keep her alive. And somehow it was all her fault. She did ten more reps, tried to breath. Rhodey, sweet Rhodey. The great War Machine, dead on the ground. Those images were burned in her memory. She winced, not from the fifteen more reps tearing her muscles, but from the pain that seared her heart.

She closed her eyes with the bar pressed up over her head. She let the slight burn of the exercise join the heavier burn of sorrow. She felt like she deserved to endure the pain.

“Danvers?” Carol tried not to drop the bar on the stands in surprise, but the barbell still fell with a clang.

“I guess I’m getting good at startling you,” Abigail Brand chuckled softly as she made her way to the bench next to Carol. “Wait, were you crying?”

“A little,” Carol shrugged. No use throwing up her defenses around her lieutenant. Just the other day, they had a “feelings” talk on the floor of her quarters.

“Can’t sleep either?” Abigail said gently, sitting down on the bench next to her. Her green hair was in a low bun, different from her usual professional high ponytail. A few loose strands fell across her face as she leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. She wasn’t wearing her usual green glasses, which Carol realized hid striking green eyes. They were a shade darker than her hair, and they were softer than Carol imagined.

Carol averted her gaze to stare at the ceiling. “Do you ever think that the more time you spend as half-alien, you might end up losing some regular human functions?”

“I don’t know,” Abigail smiled slightly. “I’ve spent more time - actually, my whole life - as half-human and I feel fine.”

“But here you are not sleeping!” Carol sat up with a laugh. “I mean, I at least get to play the insomnia-from-guilt card.”

“Well, I guess I’m just not tired,” Abigail said unconvincingly. Carol squinted her eyes at her, but before she could say anything, Abigail stood.

“Do you wanna go?” she said. Carol frowned, confused.

“Go where?”

Abigail smirked, and gestured to the practice boxing ring in the corner of the room.

“Box, Danvers. Do you want to box?”

“Sure,” Carol stood up. “I'll go easy on you, don't worry.” As she stood, she realized she was about an inch shorter than Brand. She tried to hide her frown as she suddenly felt the need to overcompensate for her strength.

They made their way to the ring. Carol removed her socks and white trainers and pulled up the sleeves of her hoodie as she velcroed the boxing gloves to her wrists. She still wasn’t used to seeing Brand out of her usual uniform. Tonight, she sported black and green yoga pants and a black sweatshirt. Carol didn’t immediately look away as Brand pulled the sweatshirt over her head, revealing a tight tank top that flattered her sculpted abdomen and well-rounded chest. As Brand tossed the sweatshirt over the ropes, she caught Carol’s stare and her face reddened. Carol’s face flushed and she quickly busied herself with her gloves. Her mind raced, desperate to fill the awkward silence that suddenly fell between them. She tried to shake off her embarrassment as the heat from her cheeks tingled.

A shiver unintentionally racked her body, and she hopped up like she was psyching herself up to hide it.

“Ready?” Carol said, a little too loudly, as she punched her gloves together. Brand nodded with a smile - a smile that sent Carol’s heart lurching.

They met in the middle of the ring, tapped gloves, and went at it. Carol made sure to pull her punches because she didn’t want to actually hurt her lieutenant. Brand didn’t seem to be pulling though as a solid uppercut landed on her left side. Carol’s ribs throbbed for a moment as she sidestepped with a right jab.

They sparred in rhythm, each ducking, jabbing, and defending in a familiar dance. Carol threw her hands up in front of her face as Brand hit her with a series of jabs. Past the flying gloves, Carol noticed Brand’s flexing bicep and the tattooed name “Grace”. She had often wondered why Brand had the names “Grace” and “Anna” tattooed on her arms - her buff, perfectly defined arms that glistened with sweat from their workout.

A left uppercut landed solidly on her jaw.

“Damn, Danvers,” Brand laughed. “Getting sleepy on me?”

Carol hadn’t realized she had lowered her defenses while gawking at Brand’s nice arms. She shook her head.

“I’m good,” she said defiantly. She stepped around the ring, preparing a return strike. After delivering a nice succession of blows, Carol was feeling a little bit cocky. She anticipated Brand’s next move, which would most likely be a step to the left.

Carol stuck her foot out as Brand took the step, immediately tripping her. But as she crashed to the mat, Brand hooked her arm around Carol’s elbow and they both fell with a slam. Carol propped herself up, realizing she was right on top of Brand. She felt breathless from the fall and from being so close to Brand’s face.

She was very aware of how her legs ended up straddling Brand’s waist, and Carol’s eyes locked with her green eyes. They were even more amazing up close. Brand’s cheeks were red, as if she was blushing, and Carol couldn’t tell if it was because of the sparring match or the fall or something else entirely.

“I think that was an illegal move,” Brand whispered. She seemed just as winded as Carol, and Carol wondered if Brand could hear her heart pounding.

“But it was funny,” Carol raised her eyebrows with a nervous smile. Brand just rolled her eyes, trying to hide a grin.

“Are you gonna get off of me now?” Brand said pointedly with an eyebrow cocked. Carol ducked her head sheepishly and rolled off of her.

“So since you cheated, that means I won, right?” Brand reckoned as she jumped over the ropes.

“Whatever,” Carol shrugged dramatically. “I was pulling my punches anyway.”

“Me too,” Brand chuckled. “Didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Oh yeah, right,” Carol rolled her eyes theatrically. “It isn’t as if I can lift about 70 tons.”

“Poor little Danvers,” Brand faked a pout before laughing again. Carol just shook her head as she put her shoes back on.

She was a little sad that their time together was ending. Even though they spent a lot of time working together on the bridge, she enjoyed the freedom of just hanging out. She liked this version of Brand who teased her and didn’t always treat her like the boss.

“See you on the bridge,” Brand waved, about to leave the gym.

“Lieutenant- er, Abigail! Wait!” Carol called, catching up to her in the doorway. “It’s 0500 now, so I was wondering if, um…” Carol trailed off, suddenly unsure of what to ask. All she knew is that she didn’t want Brand to leave yet.

“Yeah?” Brand looked at her in surprise at the use of her first name.

“Um, I was just wondering if, um,” Carol bit her lip, clearly flustered. “If you would want to join me for coffee? I mean, I know it is late- I-I mean, early. So if you want to go back to bed, you can report in for your shift a few hours late. But if you’re not tired, I was thinking of getting breakfast, i-if you want to join.”

Brand tried to stifle the smile that crept across her face, but her green eyes betrayed her excitement at Carol’s offer.

“Y-yeah, that would be awesome,” Brand stammered happily.

“Cool,” Carol managed to squeak. She couldn’t believe how nervous she felt. She just asked her lieutenant to join her for breakfast, not on a date. But she had butterflies all the same as she and Abigail made their way down the hall to the galley.