Chapter Text
“Holtzmann, do you have a moment?”
Holtzmann looked up from the new gadgets she was building for her proton pack. With the lull in busts that had come with the holidays she had finally gotten the time to work on some new toys, and she preferred to add her experiments to her own pack for testing before gifting them to the other women on the team. If something were to malfunction she would rather be the one to go poof than any of these women who had become a family to her in such a short amount of time.
“What’s up E?” she asked, setting her tools down and hopping over her workbench to approach Erin’s desk. The physicist was smiling up at her from where she was sitting in her chair, her expression reassuring Holtzmann that whatever it was she wanted to talk about wasn’t serious. Despite the nonchalance she usually carried herself with being asked to talk was one of Holtzmann’s worst nightmares. She did her best not to show it but she had the tendency to jump to the worst conclusion and immediately spiral into an internal panic all in the few seconds it took her to actually find out what the other person wanted to talk about.
“I wanted to talk to you about New Years,” Erin said, following the statement up by blowing her nose. She had recovered from her illness quickly, which told Holtzmann that she probably hadn’t had the flu; more than likely it had just been a very aggressive cold. She had been back on her feet within two days but the congestion and coughing had yet to go away.
Holtzmann sat carefully on the edge of the desk, watching her closely for signs that she was about to try letting her down easy. They had been together for less than a week after all—maybe a little too soon to bring someone home for the holidays. It had been a long time since Holtzmann had actually tried her hand at a relationship and so she couldn’t be sure.
“I was thinking about leaving a little earlier. Since it’s such a long drive and all. Unless you want to book a flight. But that’s expensive. I don’t know. What do you want to do?” Erin was looking at her a little anxiously, her expression and her hands twisting in her lap mirroring what Holtzmann was feeling inside. If she weren’t confused and still a little worried she would find her rambling cute.
But instead she hesitated, taken aback by Erin’s asking her opinion on the matter when she had already talked herself into believing she was about to be rejected. “Um…” Erin’s face fell at the hesitation and Holtzmann realized her mistake quickly. “You…still want me to go with you?” she asked tentatively, hoping that she wasn’t walking herself straight into a letdown.
“Of course! If you still want to that is.” She looked down, speaking to her desk instead of to Holtzmann. “Do you still want to?” After a moment of silence she peered up through her bangs and caught sight of Holtzmann’s grin.
“Of course I want to!” she declared happily, hopping off the desk so she could spin Erin’s office chair around and kiss her soundly. “But isn’t it a little too soon? I don’t want to make things worse with your parents.” She tugged at a loose thread that was sticking out of Erin’s collar, refusing to meet her eyes.
Erin gently brushed her hand away before she unraveled her whole blouse. “Holtz, I know we haven’t actually been together that long, but if you count the amount of time I wasted wishing it would happen instead of acting on those wishes, then I think this has been a long time coming.” She paused, biting her lip as she realized her own boldness and not even registering the cautiously hopeful look on Holtzmann’s face. “As for my parents…they’ll be okay. I think after having a daughter who catches ghosts for a living, me being in a relationship with a woman might honestly be a smaller shock. Maybe.”
Holtzmann gave her a small smile, still trying to convince herself that Erin really did want her around. “So how soon is soon?”
“Is two days too soon?” Erin asked, worry playing across her face. She reached out and twisted a strand of Holtzmann’s hair between her fingers. “I mean, I can try to postpone, or we can get a flight. It’s just such a long drive.”
“No Erin, it’s perfect,” Holtzmann said, leaning forward to kiss her again, gentler this time. She lingered, the feeling of being this close still new to her and yet so familiar, as though they had been together for much longer than just a week. She felt Erin smile against her mouth and pulled back.
“You know what this means, right?” she asked, sliding back over to her workbench and picking up her tools. She grinned mischievously at the apprehensive look on Erin’s face. “Road trip playlist!” She hit the button on her stereo with her elbow and Erin rolled her eyes as her music filled the lab.
*****
“Did you tell them I was coming?”
They were walking up the driveway to Erin’s childhood home, having parked the hearse on the street for the time being. After much begging and bribing on Holtzmann’s part Patty had let them borrow the new and improved vehicle with the dire warning that it better come back in one piece and that her uncle would have all of their skins if another one got damaged. Or thrown into a portal. Erin had suggested they park it out of view of the house at least for now so her parents wouldn’t have heart attacks at the sight, and looking at the pristine house Holtzmann found she had to agree.
The driveway wasn’t terribly long but to Holtzmann it felt like forever when coupled with her newfound nerves at the prospect of meeting Erin’s parents. She didn’t think she had ever gotten to the point in a relationship where she was brought home to meet the family. Although no one had ever told her right out she suspected that part of the reason was because she was just too out there. The realization that Erin trusted her enough and liked her enough to take this plunge so soon made her heart swell and battle against her nerves.
She adjusted her bag over her shoulder although it wasn’t heavy at all. Being used to moving around a lot had made her adept at packing light, carrying just one bag along on the journey. Erin, on the other hand, was lugging a large rolling suitcase behind her as they trudged toward the house. Holtzmann could tell from her posture and the way she walked that she was nervous as well and felt almost guilty about tagging along even though Erin had said she wanted her to go.
“I did,” Erin replied with a little hesitation in her voice. Holtzmann figured that even if Erin’s parents were glued to the front windows that they couldn’t really see them well at this point, so she reached out and took Erin’s hand in her own, stopping her in her tracks.
“Erin, should I be here?” she asked quietly. As much as she tried she was unable to keep the worry and slight hurt out of her voice. She had been so happy when Erin asked her to come along a week ago but now she couldn’t help but wonder if she should have just stayed behind at the firehouse. Her heart clenched at the thought but she knew that there was enough drama with Erin’s family as it stood. She would hate to know that she had been the cause of even more. She looked down at her feet as the overwhelming feeling of not fitting suddenly washed over her, finding it hard to meet Erin’s eyes.
“Holtzmann! Of course you should be here!” Erin said, propping her suitcase up so she could cup Holtzmann’s cheek. “I want you here and that’s all that matters. I really did tell them you were coming. And I even told them that we’re dating. My mom she—she wasn’t thrilled, but she said to bring you. It’s progress Holtz, and it’s progress that I’m glad to be making with you.”
Holtzmann managed a small smile, still unsure despite Erin’s declaration. Erin was looking at her with the same expression she had worn when she got off the call with her cousins at Christmas; even through the nerves she looked as though Holtzmann had just handed her the moon. With a quick glance at the house to be sure no one was coming their way Holtzmann leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss against her lips before pulling away.
“Lessgo,” she said with a wink, grabbing the handle of Erin’s suitcase and taking off down the driveway, Erin protesting behind her.
*****
Despite the small amount of teasing they shared as Holtzmann complained about Erin packing the entire firehouse, Holtzmann’s nerves returned as they reached the front door. She could tell Erin was anxious as well from the way she twisted her hands now that they were free of the suitcase. She herself was apprehensive of the reception she would get from Erin’s parents.
Erin knocked on the door and Holtzmann could see her hand shaking. She wanted to reach out and stop the trembling but she also didn’t want the first image Erin’s mother had to be of them holding hands, so she kept one on the handle of Erin’s suitcase and the other firmly gripped around her own bag’s shoulder strap.
There were a few moments of quiet before they heard footsteps on the other side of the door. There was a click and the door opened to reveal a surprisingly soft looking older woman. She was in her mid-sixties and while her hair was almost entirely grey Holtzmann could tell that before it had been the same rich shade of brown as Erin’s. She was a little shorter than Erin, but still taller than Holtzmann, and she had the look of someone who was once thin like her daughter but had gotten plump with age. Despite her grandmotherly appearance her smile was strained.
“Hello, Erin, dear,” she said, and while her words were kind Holtzmann could detect the same strain behind them. She chanced a sideways glance at Erin and had to smile when she spotted the family resemblance. Erin’s mouth pulled in the exact same way as her mother’s when she was stressed out.
“Hi mom,” Erin responded, still rooted to the spot. Her fists were clenched at her sides so that her knuckles were turning white and it was, once again, all Holtzmann could do not to take her hand and coax the tension from her. Instead, she extended her hand in the direction of Erin’s mother. “This is Jillian Holtzmann, mom,” Erin said, looking a little startled by Holtzmann’s boldness.
“You can call me Holtz,” she said, flashing Mrs. Gilbert the biggest grin she could muster in the hopes of breaking some of the tension. There was a pause and the air felt thick around them. Mrs. Gilbert’s gaze moved from Holtzmann’s extended hand to Erin and then finally came to rest on the suitcase that Holtzmann still had a hold of. Something about the sight of Holtzmann pulling her daughter’s suitcase for her seemed to make the fire behind her eyes soften just a bit.
“It’s nice to meet you, Jillian,” Mrs. Gilbert said, taking Holtzmann’s hand in a gentle but strong grasp. Holtzmann tried to keep the distress off her face at the use of her first name and chanced a sideways glance at Erin to gauge her response. For a moment Erin looked startled and Holtzmann was surprised to see that she was a little wistful as she moved in to hug her mother.
Holtzmann took a step back and stood awkwardly as Erin and her mother embraced. She looked up at the pristine house and found her eyes drawn to a room in the upper left-hand corner. It had a paint-it-yourself stained glass butterfly stuck to the window and she realized with a jolt that it must be Erin’s childhood bedroom. The same bedroom where the ghost of her neighbor had tormented her for so long.