Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 

When Blaine sees him it’s like time stops.

If not for the fact that he knows that it’s impossible, he would have thought that that’s what happened. It’s like everything else disappears, like the world narrows until it consists only of him, out there on the dance floor, moving to the music with so much grace and beauty that it takes Blaine’s breath away. For a moment he actually, literally feels like he can’t breathe.

It’s like the world moves in slow motion as Blaine watches him. He’s stunning. He’s tall and elegant, with a lean, graceful body and a face that looks like it’s right out of a fairytale or a magazine or something. His style of clothing makes it evident to Blaine that he puts a lot of thought into what he wears, and tonight’s outfit, consisting of tight red pants, a gray shirt and black vest, compliments his body in the best ways possible. His hair is carefully styled, but due to the temperature in the room a few drops of sweat has crept out on his forehead and into his hair, making it a bit more disheveled than it’s probably meant to be. His skin looks absolutely flawless from where Blaine’s standing and there’s a lovely red color in his cheeks, visible even in the dim light of the room.

There’s something magical about him. He looks like he can’t possibly be real. But there he is, right in front of Blaine, even after Blaine blinks a few times to make sure he’s not imagining things – he’s there and he’s very much real. Somehow this person exists in Blaine’s world now.

He’s the most beautiful man that Blaine’s ever seen.

And somehow Blaine knows, from the moment he lays eyes on him, that this person is going to change his life.

 

----

 

Blaine wasn’t even meant to be at the club that night.

The Blue Moon is one of many gay clubs in New York City, but it’s hardly amongst the more popular ones. Blaine hadn’t even heard of the place until Jeff got a job working the bar there.

The name itself is enough to make Blaine skeptical. The Blue Moon sounds more like a place you come to get your fortune told than a place to dance and hang out with other gay men, but Jeff assures him it’s a great place. He’s been nagging Blaine for weeks to drop by when he’s at work (“You gotta come see me in action, man. I’m acing this bartending thing.”), and Blaine finally relents, mainly to get Jeff off his back.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to go out. Blaine knows how to take advantage of the New York City night life and goes out at least once a week, usually more if his busy schedule allows it. It’s just that he’d rather go to Callbacks or to one of his other favorite places where he can party and have fun with his friends than go to The Blue Moon on his own. None of Blaine’s (mainly straight) friends are particularly interested in going to a gay club that no one’s ever heard of when there are so many other great alternatives. Nick, the only person who probably would have joined Blaine tonight, is back in Ohio for the weekend to attend some kind of family thing, and Jeff doesn’t count. He’s working and probably won’t have a whole lot of time to hang out.

So Blaine’s not exactly looking forward to his night out, but well, it’s one night. He can spend one night of his life supporting a friend and checking out a new place. Besides, it’s a gay club. There will be guys there. Good-looking guys, hopefully. If nothing else, he’ll get some eye candy.

The Blue Moon turns out to be a rather small place, consisting of only one room, not counting the bathroom and the entrance area. There’s the bar off to the right and a decent-sized dance floor in the middle of the room. The few tables scattered around by the walls looks mostly like someone placed them there as an afterthought, because this is clearly a place where you’re meant to dance. The seats are few and the music is loud and captivating, the kind that you can feel pulsing in your veins. Blaine can tell from the moment he steps into the room that he won’t be able to stay still for very long with the way he’s already itching to move.

Blaine joins Jeff at the bar when he arrives, and asks for a drink. Jeff gives him a huge, cheek-splitting grin and looks so happy to see him that Blaine almost feels bad about being so negative about this. He watches Jeff prepare his drink and it doesn’t take him long to discover that Jeff really is quite good at this job – he laughs and talks with customers and co-workers alike and seems to be in his absolute element.

Blaine’s not surprised exactly, because Jeff’s always been a laid-back, outgoing person with the ability to strike up conversation with anyone he wants, but he is surprised to see how much Jeff seems to enjoy this and how naturally he’s found his place behind the bar. It would be nice if he could stay at this job for a while instead of jumping restlessly from one place to another, which has been a habit of his in the past.

Once Blaine has received his drink and exchanged a few more words with Jeff (assuring him that yes, being a bartender totally suits him), he turns around and lets his eyes sweep across the room. The place is quite packed, which Blaine supposes isn’t so unusual for a Friday night. The patrons seem to be mostly in their twenties and thirties, and it doesn’t take long before Blaine has made eye contact with several of them. He’s not blind to their silent invitations to join them on the dance floor, but for the moment he prefers to stay put. He’s not in any rush tonight, and he wants to finish his drink before he does anything else.

Blaine leans back against the bar and takes another sip while he watches the dancing masses out on the floor.

And that’s when he sees him.

The most gorgeous man he’s ever laid eyes on.

Suddenly he’s just there, right in front of Blaine, right in the middle of all the moving bodies on the dance floor as if he’d suddenly dropped from the sky. It’s almost a shock, seeing that stunning beauty in the otherwise ordinary room, amongst all these ordinary people (ordinary compared to him, at least), on this ordinary Friday night. It’s like he belongs somewhere else, somewhere shiny and beautiful and bright.

Blaine stares at him with wide eyes, unable to do anything else. He’s no longer aware of all the other men on the dance floor; they’re nothing but background motion now. Blaine only sees him.

He doesn’t snap out of the trance he’s fallen into until there’s a light swat on his arm.

Blaine jumps and momentarily loses sight of the man in crowd. He turns and fixes Jeff with an annoyed glare. “What?”

“Don’t even think about it,” Jeff shouts over the music, giving Blaine a warning look.

Blaine stares blankly at him and Jeff nods in the direction of the dance floor. “I see what you’re thinking, and you’re right, he’s definitely hot. But don’t bother. He won’t be interested.”

“Do you know him?” Blaine asks, unable to keep himself from turning his gaze back to the dance floor, locating the man again.

“No. No one does. He comes in every Friday night, spends a few hours on the dance floor and turns down everyone who tries to approach him. He’s not interested in anything other than dancing.”

Hearing this should probably put a damper on Blaine’s interest, but that’s not what happens. If anything, he’s even more intrigued. This just confirms the feeling that Blaine got the moment he laid eyes on him, the one that says there’s a lot more to this man than what meets the eye.

Blaine can’t say how he knows that. Maybe it’s because of the way the man keeps his eyes closed while he’s dancing, completely oblivious to everyone around him, which so obviously sets him apart from the other men in the room, most of whom make no secret of the fact that their main goal for the night is finding someone to hook up with.

Maybe it’s the way that he, even while dancing, keeps his back straight and his head held high, almost defiant, like he’s daring the world to touch him. It’s something that can be interpreted as either arrogance or pride.

Blaine’s pretty sure it’s the latter.

He throws back the last of his drink and sets the glass back down on the bar without once taking his eyes off of him.

Then he moves before he has time to question himself. The number of people on the dance floor seems to grow by the minute, but Blaine doesn’t really pay much attention to any of that – he just maneuvers himself through the crowd until he reaches his destination.

The man is even more gorgeous up close, and not for the first time during the last couple of minutes Blaine wonders if maybe this whole thing is a dream. How can any living, breathing person be this beautiful? Blaine’s heart is hammering in his chest as he watches the man dance right in front of him, so lost in his own world, so heartbreakingly gorgeous.

Blaine doesn’t actually know what to do now that he’s here. For a moment he just stands there, hesitating, while the man before him continues to move, so naturally and gracefully, like the music is a part of him.

And all of a sudden Blaine just feels stupid. What is he thinking? What is he doing, approaching this almost otherworldly man? He’s way out of Blaine’s league. He’s way out of anyone’s league. And Jeff was just telling him that this man shows no interest in anyone, so why would he pay any attention to Blaine, of all people?

But then, when has Blaine ever backed down from a challenge? When has he ever turned his back on what he wants? He’s always been confident, and sure, he’s been knocked down a few times in his life, but why shouldn’t he trust in that confidence right now?

Besides, the man in front of him gives him no choice. There’s no way Blaine can walk away now.

With a deep breath he throws himself into the music. He’s far from being as graceful as him, but he’s a good dancer and definitely knows how to get lost in the rhythm. He doesn’t let himself go completely, though, not now. Not with the other man so close. Blaine finds it impossible to turn his attention away from him. It’s actually the last thing he wants to do.

So he doesn’t. He dances, but he never takes his eyes off of him. And after a while that feels like forever and just a moment all at the same time, the man finally opens his eyes and looks directly at Blaine.

It’s a shock, to have that gaze land on him, but he tries not to let it show. Instead he smiles his most radiant smile. “I’m Blaine,” he says, shouting to be heard over the music.

The man regards him. His eyes are as captivating as the rest of him, although in this dim light it’s impossible to say exactly which color they are. There’s a story there, though. It doesn’t take Blaine more than a second to notice the shadow that’s lingering there, and the urge to hear that story, to know this man, hits Blaine with an almost overwhelming force.

It only cements his feeling from earlier – there’s a whole lot more to this man than what you see.

The man looks at Blaine for a long time before he finally speaks. “No talking,” he says then, just as the music quiets a little. It doesn’t matter, because this man’s voice is possibly the loveliest music Blaine’s ever heard. “Just dance.”

Blaine just blinks at him, surprised to hear him say anything at all. After what Jeff told him, Blaine had halfway expected to be completely ignored. He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else though, because the man has already closed his eyes again and is letting his head fall back, once again losing himself completely in the music. He’s so beautiful like that, with the light sheen of sweat on his face and his long, graceful neck just inches from Blaine’s face, and Blaine finds it impossible to do anything other than stare at him in amazement and awe and utter devotion.

But then he finally manages to pull himself out of the staring-idiot-state and do what the man asked him to do – dance. Blaine dances for hours, encouraged by the fact that at least the man is still there. He’s still dancing next to Blaine and has made no attempt to move away. That’s something, right?

If he’s being completely honest with himself the man doesn’t seem to care much about Blaine either way, but Blaine doesn’t give up. There’s something very special about this man, and if dancing is the only way to connect with him, then that’s what Blaine will do.

So Blaine dances.

There’s no talking. There’s just the two of them and the pulsing music.

 

----

 

Waking up the next morning, Blaine wonders if there are such things as emotional hangovers. If there is, he’s definitely having one right now.

Last night was intense, and for a short moment he wonders if maybe he dreamt the whole thing. It feels like it can’t have been real, like it must have been a wonderful and amazingly vivid dream. How can someone like him be real?

But no, it happened. As soon as Blaine starts to move he realizes that his own body is living proof of that. It feels like it’s been through a marathon or like… like he spent most of last night dancing. He can’t help but let out a small groan when he feels how stiff and heavy his limbs are, but he also can’t help but smile to himself as he sinks back into the pillow.

Last night really did happen. He happened.

Blaine’s second realization is that no matter what, he has to see that man again. Anything else is unthinkable.

With some effort he manages to grab his cell phone from the nightstand, and discovers that it’s not really morning anymore. In fact, it’s just a few minutes before noon. Blaine has no idea when he got in last night, but it was late, and even though he crashed into bed as soon as he came home, he wasn’t able to fall asleep right away. His mind was buzzing, too full of thoughts and images, his body too alive to find any rest.

After giving himself a few more minutes to wake up properly, Blaine forces himself out of bed despite his body’s protests. He shuffles into the bathroom for a much welcome and much needed shower.

When he returns to his bedroom fifteen minutes later, he feels like a much better version of himself. But the events from last night are still at the forefront of his mind, like a movie playing on repeat before his eyes. The music. The heat. The dancing. The graceful body moving beside him and in front of him for hours. Feeling like it was just the two of them in the whole world.

To be honest, nothing much happened. To an outsider it must have looked like they were just dancing (and dancing and dancing…). There was no talking and hardly any touching, just a moment here and there when they happened to brush against each other.

But there was eye contact. Not a lot, but when it happened there was definitely a connection there. It was difficult to determine what he was thinking, but the fact that he spent the whole night dancing with Blaine and seemingly didn’t care one bit about any of the other men at the club makes Blaine optimistic. True, he didn’t seem to care much about Blaine either, but Blaine isn’t about to let that discourage him.

Last night was magical. Blaine’s never had such a strong reaction to another person before. It’s scary and exciting and confusing as hell, and he’s not sure exactly what to do about it.

He takes a moment to try and analyze what actually happened, but it’s hard to explain. It was more than just meeting a beautiful man; it was also about the connection he felt. That immediate draw, that feeling he got when he first saw him. Like it was fate that they should meet at The Blue Moon. Like they were somehow connected even before last night. Blaine has always believed in soul mates and it felt like… like maybe he actually met his soul mate there on the dance floor.

It feels like he’s been waiting forever for this man to show up in his life.

Out in the kitchen Wes is busy unloading a couple of bags from the grocery store down the street when Blaine appears. He looks like he’s been up and about for hours already, which is probably exactly how it is. Wes is an excellent roommate – he’s tidy and discreet and goes to bed at reasonable hours, but his sense of order also makes Blaine feel really lazy and messy in comparison. It’s not that Blaine’s trying to shirk the housework or anything; it’s just that these things seem to come more naturally to Wes than to him. Wes just notices things, like when the bathroom needs cleaning or the floors need sweeping or when they need to water their plants.

(They actually have plants. Which is all thanks to Wes.)

Wes turns to look at him. “Late night?” he asks, arching his eyebrows.

“I guess,” Blaine says with a yawn. “It feels like I just went to bed.”

Wes nods towards the coffee maker. “I made coffee a while ago if you want some.”

Blaine grabs a cup from the overhead cupboard and pours himself some. The coffee isn’t steaming but it’ll do. He sinks heavily down on one of the chairs by the kitchen table. Despite the shower, he can still feel the events of last night in his body.

“I’m surprised you stayed out so late,” Wes says and opens the refrigerator to put away some groceries. “I got the impression you only intended to stay for a short while.”

“I did,” Blaine says, and then he hesitates for a moment, not sure if he should tell Wes about last night or not. He still can’t quite believe that it was real. In the light of day it all feels so different but no less intense, and he really is just bursting to share it with someone. Wes will find out about it soon enough anyway because it’s not like Jeff is going to shut up about it.

So he looks down at his cup and smiles a little to himself when he says, “I met someone.”

Wes turns away from the refrigerator and looks at him. “Someone? You mean a guy?”

Blaine nods, his smile widening just thinking about him. “The most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.”

Wes looks at him with more interest now and comes to sit down on the chair opposite Blaine. “So, what happened? Who is he?”

“I… I actually don’t know,” Blaine admits. “We just danced.”

“Okay.” Wes looks a little confused. “But you must have talked with him?”

“Not really, but I didn’t have to. He’s special, Wes. And there was a connection there. I felt it.”

Wes clearly isn’t sure what to think. “Do you even know his name?”

“Well, no,” Blaine admits a bit sheepishly. “Not yet. But I’ll find out when I see him again. For now I’ll just call him… McGorgeous.”

Wes looks at Blaine like he’s lost his mind. “Okay, you’ve officially watched way too much Grey’s Anatomy.”

“Well, I have to call him something, don’t I? ‘Club Guy’ doesn’t do him any justice at all, and ‘The Most Beautiful Man On The Planet’ is way too long.”

To be completely honest, McGorgeous isn’t much better – it sounds much too shallow and superficial for a guy that Blaine’s certain is anything but – but there’s just no nickname that Blaine can think of right now that would do him justice. And he really does have to call him something.

“So you are going to see him again?”

“I have to,” Blaine says earnestly. “Jeff told me that he comes to The Blue Moon every Friday night, so I’ll go back next week. If Jeff’s right, he’ll be there.” He pauses, looking at Wes. “I know this must sound crazy to you. And I can’t explain it. I just… I have to get to know him, Wes. I feel like… like he could be the one.”

Wes looks skeptical. “Blaine, you just told me you haven’t even spoken with him.”

“No, but…” Blaine searches for the right words to explain this to Wes. It’s difficult when he doesn’t completely understand it himself. “Have you ever met someone that you just know, from the moment you see them, that they’re going to change your life?”

“No, not really.”

“Well, that’s how it felt last night. I can’t explain it any better than that.”

“So…” Wes looks like he’s trying to make sense of it all, or maybe he’s trying to make Blaine come to his senses. “You haven’t talked with him. You don’t know anything about him. You have to give him a silly nickname because you don’t know his real name. But you know that he’s special.”

“Exactly!”

Wes sighs and Blaine knows what he’s thinking. Wes is a realist and he doesn’t believe in things like love at first sight. Blaine didn’t use to believe in it either, and he’s not sure that’s what actually happened last night. Love is such a big word. But something happened. And it feels a little like he’s been waiting for it his whole life.

“Well, I can’t say I understand it,” Wes says finally, looking at him across the table. “But you’ve always followed your heart and I guess this time will be no different.”

Blaine shrugs and smiles. Wes is right – he does go with his heart. But never before have his heart wanted something so badly. Never before has he felt a pull this strong.

There’s no way he can resist it, nor does he want to.

“Can I give you one piece of advice though?” Wes asks, and Blaine nods. “Find out this guy’s name, okay? That nickname you’ve given him is ridiculous.”

Blaine bursts out laughing. Wes is right – it is ridiculous. But unfortunately it’s all he has right now.

 

----

 

When the next Friday night comes around, Blaine is back at The Blue Moon.

Jeff is working again and this time Nick tags along as well, though Blaine is pretty sure that’s mostly to see Blaine’s mystery guy for himself. Most of Blaine’s friends have heard about Blaine and the guy from The Blue Moon by now, and really, you’d think they didn’t have their own lives the way they’re suddenly so invested in his.

Blaine doesn’t really care about that. As long as he gets to see McGorgeous again, he cares about little else.

Besides, it’s probably a good thing that he doesn’t have to come to the club alone this time. This way he’ll look less like a desperate stalker.

Still, Blaine wouldn’t have cared too much if he’d had to go alone. If things go the way he hopes, he’s not going to be spending much time with his friends tonight.

He’s been looking forward to this day all week, with equal parts nerves and excitement. Usually he has no problem focusing on his classes, but this week has been a different story. It’s like McGorgeous has taken a permanent space in Blaine’s head (or heart, maybe) and no matter what Blaine does, he never really leaves.

His friends have been teasing him good-naturedly about it all week, which is partly Blaine’s own fault. He’s never been very secretive about his past crushes, which has, admittedly, been quite numerous, and with Jeff having seen the whole thing it would’ve been difficult to keep it to himself even if he’d wanted to. Blaine just laughs and smiles and blushes a little like he always does when they tease him like that, but he doesn’t tell the rest of them what he told Wes. He doesn’t tell them that it’s different this time, that McGorgeous isn’t anything like Blaine’s previous crushes. For one, they probably wouldn’t believe him. And secondly, Blaine doesn’t really want them to know. This feels… too private. He feels too special.

When Friday night finally rolls around, he puts on the outfit he’s spent all week deciding – dark jeans, a red t-shirt (people have always told him he looks good in red), one of his favorite bow-ties and a gray cardigan that he will surely lose before he even starts dancing. He studies himself critically in the mirror for a minute and finally nods to himself. He looks good, but he also looks like himself. This is who he is, and he wants him to see that.

He and Nick arrive at The Blue Moon a little earlier than Blaine did the previous week, and although plenty of people have arrived before them, the place isn’t full yet. Blaine immediately starts looking for McGorgeous (god, it really is a ridiculous name), but he doesn’t see him in the crowd on the dance floor. His excitement dies a little, and he immediately starts to worry. What if he doesn’t show up? What if he never comes to The Blue Moon again? It’s not like Blaine knows him. It’s not like they have an agreement to meet up here. And the harsh truth is that if he doesn’t show up tonight, or ever, then Blaine has no way of contacting him. He probably won’t see him again.

A bit dejectedly Blaine follows Nick’s lead over to the bar to order drinks and say hello to Jeff. His face must betray him though, because Jeff immediately offers him a reassuring smile.

“Relax, Blaine. He’ll be here. He always comes in on Fridays.”

He may not come tonight, though, Blaine wants to point out, but instead he just gives Jeff a weak smile and doesn’t say anything.

But as it turns out, Blaine doesn’t even have time to finish his first drink before the man that he hasn’t been able to get out of his head all week shows up.

Blaine spots him the moment he walks through the door, his stomach dropping a little at the sight of him. McGorgeous lingers for a minute just inside the entryway, his eyes doing a quick sweep across the room, taking it in. But his gaze doesn’t settle on anything (or anyone) in particular, and after a short while he heads straight for the dance floor and immediately starts to groove.

“Is that him?” he hears Nick ask beside him, but Blaine doesn’t answer. He can’t take his eyes off of him.

He’s even more beautiful than Blaine remembers, which he didn’t think was even possible. With all the fantasy images that Blaine’s been making up in his head this past week, each more beautiful than the one before, he didn’t think it was possible that the real thing could be even more gorgeous. But he is. He looks like something out of this world.

Blaine’s whole body reacts to seeing him. His heart beats faster, his stomach does somersaults in a way that it’s never done before and it feels like he’s coming alive, like his body becomes alert somehow. Blaine has never experienced anything like it before. It’s almost as if his body is telling him that this is the person that Blaine’s been looking for forever.

And Blaine is becoming more and more aware that the attraction he feels has less to do with the fact that McGorgeous is… well, gorgeous, and more to do with everything else. He knows that this man is different. He’s not just beautiful on the outside; he has a beautiful soul as well. Blaine has seen it in his eyes, in the vulnerability that he discovered there when he looked into them. In the way that he holds himself so proudly, so bravely but also with clear caution, like there’s a need there to keep himself protected. Like his cold, almost arrogant exterior is nothing but a protective wall that he’s built around himself.

Exactly what he tries to protect himself from though, Blaine isn’t sure.  

Blaine stays at the bar for a while and just watches him. He would have been quite content just sitting there all night, watching McGorgeous on the dance floor, the way he moves so effortlessly, so lost in the music. It’s mesmerizing to watch.

But it doesn’t take more than a few minutes until there’s another guy there with him on the dance floor, and something that feels dangerously close to jealousy flares in Blaine’s chest as he watches the new guy make attempts at getting close. Blaine dislikes him immediately – he looks creepy and much too old for McGorgeous – and Blaine can’t help feeling smug when he sees that McGorgeous pays the new guy absolutely no attention, other than an initial quick once over.

New guy soon gives up and Blaine is not about to waste another minute. It’s time to make his move.

He approaches McGorgeous and finds himself a spot close by him where he starts to dance, like he did last Friday. He feels almost overwhelmed at being so close to him again, to this perfect man who by his very existence has turned Blaine’s life completely upside down.

McGorgeous is just as elegantly dressed as he was the week before, wearing a pair of tight black pants, a dark purple shirt and a small scarf around his long, beautiful neck. A small brooch is attached to his shirt – it’s just a small detail but Blaine gets the sense that it’s been put there with a lot of deliberation and thought, to top off an already fabulous outfit.

McGorgeous is dancing with his eyes closed and doesn’t seem to be aware of Blaine’s presence at first. Either that or he could just be ignoring it. Blaine just keeps dancing and tries his best to be patient, which is difficult with how nervous and giddy he is.

Eventually though, McGorgeous opens his eyes and looks right at Blaine.

Blaine smiles brightly and tries to ignore the way his stomach is doing flip-flops as that gaze lands on him. He can tell that McGorgeous recognizes him. His eyes widen a little as he looks at Blaine, like he’s surprised to see him, and Blaine chooses to take that as a good sign. He must have made at least some sort of impression last Friday.

But apart from that McGorgeous’ face remains blank and indifferent. Blaine, however, doesn’t let that discourage him.

“Hi,” he says, bright smile still in place. “Nice to see you again.”

McGorgeous doesn’t say anything or react in any way. He still looks at Blaine though, which is more than he did with that guy from earlier. His eyes are the most amazing pair of eyes that Blaine has ever seen – he feels like he could drown in them. They seem to see right through him, exposing all of his secrets with just one look.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Blaine tries, grabbing this opportunity with both hands, but McGorgeous immediately shakes his head at that.

“I don’t drink. I dance,” he says, and before Blaine gets the chance to say or do anything else, McGorgeous has closed his eyes and thrown himself into the dancing again.

Blaine feels bewildered for a second, but damn it, he isn’t about to waste this opportunity. He lightly touches McGorgeous’ arm, making him startle a little before he opens his eyes to look at Blaine again, this time with a hint of annoyance in his eyes. He obviously doesn’t like being disturbed.

“Sorry,” Blaine says, a bit sheepishly. “Just… can you at least tell me your name? I promise I won’t ask any more questions.”

McGorgeous regards him for a long time. Blaine feels like he’s waiting to know if he passed some sort of test. He doesn’t actually think that McGorgeous will share his name – he seems determined to stay as unapproachable as possible – but well, it’s worth a try. Anything to get rid of that silly nickname, and maybe take a small step closer to getting to know this man.

And then McGorgeous surprises him.

“It’s Kurt,” he says finally, and his indifferent, unapproachable mask seems to fall for just a second, as if sharing even that little bit of information is difficult for him.

Blaine gives him a big smile. “Thank you,” he says, and somehow his hand is still on McGorgeous’ – Kurt’s – arm, so he squeezes it lightly to show how thankful he is. “Now we can dance.”

For a second Blaine is pretty sure he can spot a tiny, almost-not-there smile on Kurt’s face. It’s gone as soon as it appeared though, and he lets his hand drop from Kurt’s arm so that they can both throw themselves back into the music and the dancing.

Blaine keeps his promise – he doesn’t ask any more questions, neither does he say anything else. But he dances with Kurt for the rest of the night and it’s as magical as the first time.

 

----

 

Blaine goes to The Blue Moon every Friday night after that.

Kurt is there every time, and every time they dance. After a few weeks Blaine starts to notice that Kurt looks almost like he’s expecting Blaine to show up, like he’s waiting for him maybe, and Blaine feels uplifted. Maybe Kurt actually does like him back a little bit. He seems happy enough to dance with Blaine – he never attempts to move away from him, nor does he seem very eager to find other dance partners.

They don’t talk much. Blaine promised to respect Kurt’s no-talking wish if he got to know his name and he’s determined to respect that.

But it’s not easy. The more they see each other, the more Blaine wants to know Kurt, and even though they’re sort of getting to know each other through movements and eye-contact and the occasional touch and smile, it’s not enough for Blaine. He wants to know what’s inside of Kurt. What’s in his heart and on his mind, what his life is like. He wants to share more with Kurt than just these few, precious moments on the dance floor.

Whenever he’s not at The Blue Moon, Blaine spends most of his time trying to focus on school. NYADA can be pretty demanding, and on top of that he was able to secure the leading part in a rather big student production. The opening night is still a few months away, but rehearsals are already stealing a huge chunk of his time, and even though he loves it, it’s also exhausting at times.

He likes to keep busy though – it keeps him from spending all his time thinking about Kurt. Still, Kurt is never very far from his mind. Blaine misses him more and more every week and those few hours they get together at The Blue Moon every Friday night doesn’t feel like it’s nearly enough anymore.

Unfortunately he has no idea how to change that. Kurt has made it pretty clear that he isn’t interested in anything more, and Blaine doesn’t want to push. It feels like he’s managed to gain Kurt’s trust somehow – like he’s showed Kurt that he can honor his wishes and by that made Kurt feel somewhat… safe with Blaine. It took Blaine a while to realize that one of the things he saw in Kurt’s eyes those first few times was fear. True, Kurt radiated confidence in a way that few others in that room did, but the fear was still there, evident in his eyes if you only got close enough. Blaine has no idea where that fear comes from, or what might have happened in Kurt’s life that’s made him that way, but he does know that by respecting Kurt’s wishes, he seems to have put Kurt at ease, making him relax and just enjoy himself when they’re together.

It makes him feel like maybe he did a good thing, like maybe, if he continues not to push, he can somehow find a way to get close to Kurt.

It’s just that he’s still a long way away from that.

 

----

 

And then, one day, everything changes.

For the first time Blaine sees Kurt outside of The Blue Moon, and it’s such a shock that for a second Blaine feels like he’s going to pass out.

It’s early afternoon and Blaine’s running late – class has just ended and rehearsals for the play is starting in only a few minutes. He’s realized that if he’s ever going to get through this day he needs coffee, so he heads for the coffee shop right by NYADA. He bursts through the door, stressed and a little breathless – only to have his eyes land right on Kurt.

He’s sitting by one of the tables in the back, looking relaxed and unguarded as he sips on his coffee and flips through a magazine. He hasn’t seen Blaine, which is probably for the best, because Blaine is so stunned and dizzy by seeing him someplace other than The Blue Moon that he feels frozen in place and all he can do is stare dumbly at Kurt.

Even outside of the hypnotizing lights and the pulsing beats of The Blue Moon, Kurt is the most beautiful thing Blaine has ever set eyes on. He doesn’t look very different than what he does at the club, but seeing him here, in a place that Blaine frequents several times during a week feels… life-changing. Up until now, The Blue Moon has seemed like a completely different world than the rest of Blaine’s life, to the point where he’s wondered sometimes if it’s even real. Now, in the blink of an eye, the two worlds have collided, and it’s a complete shock to Blaine’s system.

Blaine forgets all about the coffee he’s supposed to get and the rehearsal he’s running late to. Instead, once he feels steady on his feet, he crosses the room to where Kurt’s sitting. His heart is beating wildly in his chest and it feels like he’s approaching Kurt for the first time. He knows club Kurt, he knows how to act around him now – but this is a different Kurt, possibly the real Kurt. This is completely different.

Once he’s reached Kurt’s table, he doesn’t quite know what to do. But he knows he doesn’t want to startle Kurt so he waits for Kurt to become aware of him and look up before he says anything.

Kurt’s eyes go wide when they see him, and he looks as shocked as Blaine felt, which Blaine can’t exactly blame him for. He goes pale and there’s that fear in his eyes again, clearer than it’s ever been.

Blaine smiles and tries desperately to muster some confidence.

“Hi, Kurt,” he says with a cheerfulness that feels a bit over the top. “I saw you sitting here and I just wanted to come over and say hi. So… hi.” He gives a little wave that feels ridiculous right away, and he lets his arm fall to his side again.

Kurt’s just staring at him and it’s impossible to say if he’s angry or pleased or something completely different – most of all he looks like his world has just tipped off its axis.

Blaine can definitely relate.

“I hope it’s okay,” Blaine continues when Kurt doesn’t say anything. “I’m really sorry if it’s not.”

It feels like forever before Kurt finally says something, even though it’s probably not more than a few seconds.

“It’s okay,” he says quietly, and Blaine can’t help but let out a relieved sigh, even though Kurt doesn’t seem too happy that he’s here.

“Are you a NYADA student too?” he asks, excited at the prospect. Maybe real life Kurt is a lot closer to him than he’s thought. He knows that most patrons of this coffee shop are students.

But Kurt shakes his head. “No. I’m waiting for a friend who is.”

Blaine sobers a little. A friend? As in… a boyfriend? He hasn’t even thought about that because club Kurt never gave the impression that he was in a relationship, but this is real life Kurt, and Blaine doesn’t actually know him. He has a whole life that Blaine knows nothing about.

“Who’s your friend?” he asks. “Maybe it’s someone I know.”

Kurt hesitates for a second before he speaks, like he’s not sure if he should reveal that information. But only for a second. “Rachel Berry,” he says. “She’s a sophomore.”

Blaine grins again, both because he actually does know Kurt’s friend and because that friend is a girl. And also because this means that he now has some sort of link to Kurt, even outside of the club. “I know who she is,” he says. “She’s really good.”

“She is,” Kurt agrees, and he smiles a little, the first one since Blaine got here. Still, he doesn’t look very comfortable with the situation. His gaze keeps flickering, never settling on Blaine for more than a second, and he keeps fiddling with his magazine. Blaine recognizes the latest issue of Vogue.

“She’ll be here any second now,” Kurt says eventually, and sure, Blaine can take a hint. He nods, trying not to seem too disappointed.

“Yeah, I should go,” he says. “I have a rehearsal to get to.”

Kurt looks for a moment like he wants to ask Blaine about that, like he actually wants to know more. But instead he just nods.

“It was really great seeing you,” Blaine says, which is a huge understatement compared to how he actually feels. “See you Friday?”

It feels strange to mention club Kurt around this other, different Kurt. He thinks that Kurt might be feeling the same thing, because he bites his lip and nods just once, almost unnoticeable.

Blaine gives another little wave and smiles at Kurt before turning to the counter to order the coffee he was here to pick up in the first place.

He has to wait for a few minutes while they make it, and as he’s standing by the counter with his back to Kurt, he’s sure he feels Kurt’s eyes on him. It feels like he’s hit by the rays of the sun. When he gets his coffee and starts walking towards the door, he can’t keep himself from turning around to throw one last look at Kurt, and sure enough, Kurt is looking right at him.

Blaine smiles at Kurt, and even though Kurt doesn’t smile back, Blaine feels warm all over when he exits the coffee shop.

 

----

 

Blaine is half expecting Kurt not to show up at The Blue Moon that Friday, worried that their encounter in the coffee shop has scared him off somehow.

But Kurt is there, like always, and they dance, like always. And as always, Blaine feels so connected to this person that he doesn’t even know, and it’s magical and all-consuming and perfect.

And absolutely not enough.

After seeing Kurt in the coffee shop, in real life, after talking with him and learning that he actually has a friend at Blaine’s school, dancing with him every Friday just feels insufficient. It wasn’t enough before the coffee house and it’s definitely not enough now. Blaine tries to get back to feeling what he used to feel – grateful just to have these weekly meetings – but he can’t seem to get there.

He’s gotten a glimpse of real life Kurt now. And he needs to get close to that Kurt. He wants it, in a way that he’s never wanted anything before.

He doesn’t talk much about Kurt with his friends, doesn’t want to share too much, because while he’s had endless crushes and flings, several hook-ups and even a couple of longer relationships in the past, he’s never had this. He’s never had feelings this strong, feelings that might have scared him if he’d let himself analyze them too closely, feelings that feels too private and real to share with his friends. He doesn’t want their good-natured teasing and their assuming that this is just another one of Blaine’s crushes. Not this time. Not when it’s Kurt, who’s… so much more than that.

But he does talk to Wes. Wes is really good for that sort of thing – he may not understand what Blaine’s going through, but he listens and he doesn’t laugh it off. And most importantly – he doesn’t go off blabbering to the rest of their friends.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Blaine tells him one Saturday morning, after he’s been out dancing with Kurt again the night before. “I feel like I’m stuck somehow. Like… we have this… this thing, Kurt and I. And it’s amazing, you know? And it feels like it might be mutual, like Kurt likes it too. But it’s just not enough anymore. Not for me. And I want to do something about it, but I just don’t know how.”

Wes looks at him, considering. “It seems to me like Kurt is… cautious. Worried. That if you push too hard you might scare him off. Am I right?”

Blaine wants to kiss Wes then, just because he’s clearly listened to enough of Blaine’s rambles about Kurt to understand this about him.

“Yes,” he says instead, giving Wes a grateful smile. “Yes, that’s exactly it. And I don’t know how to push for more without pushing him too far. And I’m not exactly sure where ‘too far’ is.”

“Well,” Wes says thoughtfully. “You don’t know him. And he doesn’t know you. And that’s the problem. He probably doesn’t know what you want from him. He might not be into casual relationships, or maybe he’s had bad experiences in the past. Unless he knows you’re serious, he might not want to let you in.”

Blaine thinks about that for a moment. It makes sense. But he still doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you might have to find a way to show him who you are without pushing him too much. Show him that you want more than just sex. Show him that you’re for real.” He pauses. “You are, aren’t you?”

Blaine nods. “I am. There’s something about him, Wes. I’m falling for him.”

He half expects Wes to look at him with skepticism and tell him that he’s crazy, but to his surprise Wes just nods. “I know. That’s not very hard to see.”

“Really? Is it that obvious?”

“To me, yes. I know you, Blaine. And I’ve never seen you like this. I’ve never heard you talk like this about someone. I’ve never seen this… look you get in your eyes when it’s obvious that you’re thinking about him. You have it bad, man.”

“I do,” Blaine agrees with a helpless little groan, leaning forward over the kitchen table to hide his face in his arms. “I really do.”

He thinks about what Wes said. About showing Kurt who he is. It’s just… how can he do that when Kurt seems so unwilling to get to know him?

 

----

 

Blaine realizes, when he enters The Blue Moon the next Friday night, that it’s almost three months since the first time he came here. Almost three months since he saw Kurt for the first time, three months since they first danced together.

In a way it feels longer. Blaine can hardly remember a time when Kurt wasn’t such an essential part of his life. But the sad, honest truth is that after three months, they still haven’t exchanged more than a handful of words and Blaine still knows next to nothing about Kurt.

He wants to change that, and he wants to do it tonight, but when he arrives at the club he still doesn’t have a concrete plan. He’s just going to find Kurt in the crowd, dance with him as usual, and then take it from there.

Jeff is not working tonight (he got the night off so he and Nick could go away on a romantic trip for the weekend), so there’s no one at the club that he can talk to, but Blaine doesn’t really care about that anymore. He’s here for Kurt anyway, and his well-meaning but sometimes kind of annoying friends are still overly invested in his non-relationship with Kurt, even though as time has passed and nothing has really happened, they’ve lost interest a bit.

He’s intentionally early tonight, just so he’ll get the chance to see Kurt arrive. Blaine always loves how Kurt enters the club and just seems to take the room, without a care for anyone or anything else. He loves watching Kurt join the crowd on the dance floor, throw himself into the dance and just let go.

And that’s exactly what Kurt does when he arrives, apart from one small, but very important detail.

He actually looks at Blaine.

He’s never done that before, not like that. Usually, when Kurt arrives, he takes a moment to scan the room, but his gaze never settles on anything. He just hasn’t seemed to care before who else is in the room.

Until now.

Now his eyes find Blaine by the bar and they stay on him for a moment, just long enough for Blaine to notice it, for them to have that connection across the room. A second later he’s already heading for the dance floor, and Blaine knows that no one except him probably noticed what happened, but… it did happen. And it’s such a small thing, but it feels huge.

Kurt came here tonight wanting to see him. That’s how it feels like to Blaine.

Blaine doesn’t even take the time to finish up his drink before he walks out onto the dance floor. He quickly makes his way over to Kurt, smiles at him in welcome and receives a small, but definitely sort-of happy smile in return, and then they dance. They dance like they’ve danced every Friday for almost three months now, moving together perfectly, like a rehearsed routine.

The beating rhythm feels like a drug, Kurt’s body next to him even more so, and Blaine feels intoxicated, feels as one with the music and with Kurt. He’s fueled by the fact that maybe Kurt actually likes him too, at least a little bit, enough to look for him in a room full of other men. Kurt, who is so beautiful, the most beautiful thing that Blaine has ever seen, who makes Blaine want things and feel things that he’s never felt before in his life.

It’s like Blaine body is moving of its own violation, going with his heart instead of his brain, and before he knows what’s happening he has closed his eyes and the distance between them and then he’s kissing Kurt, right there in the middle of the dance floor.

It’s just as wonderful as Blaine has dreamed of – Kurt’s lips are soft and warm, and for just a moment they open up for Blaine, enough for their tongues to make contact, and it’s perfect – but then Kurt disappears, pulls away as if he’s been burned and when Blaine opens his eyes Kurt is staring at him with wide, fearful eyes.

For a moment that feels like forever, they just look at each other, breathless, motionless. The look in Kurt’s eyes changes from shock and fear to something that looks an awful lot like betrayal, and Blaine heart sinks.

The next thing he knows, Kurt has turned around, away from Blaine, and is heading for the door, almost running in his rush to get away.

Blaine’s rooted to the spot, shoulders slumped, helpless to do anything other than watch him leave.

As the music continues on, beating its endless rhythm, all Blaine can think is that he just ruined everything.

Chapter Text

Next Friday cannot come soon enough. Blaine is desperate to see Kurt again, to apologize, to make everything right. He feels like he’s failed Kurt somehow. He knew that he needed to be careful with him, that he needed to take it slow and that pushing him could scare him away, and yet that’s exactly what he did.

Kissing someone for the first time, someone you hardly know, without warning in the middle of a crowded dance floor can hardly be called ‘taking it slow’. He really needs to let Kurt know that he’s not that kind of a guy, so when Friday comes they have to talk, whether Kurt wants to or not.

But then, for the first time since Blaine started coming to The Blue Moon, Kurt doesn’t show up on a Friday night.

Blaine waits for him all night, restless and impatient, until he’s forced to admit that Kurt won’t be there.

It feels a little like the world is crashing down around him.

He really has ruined everything.

He gets drunk instead, throwing back drink after drink while he watches Jeff and Nick, the way they look at each other with so much love in their eyes, the way they lean in for the occasional kiss when Jeff doesn’t have customers waiting. It makes Blaine more and more miserable as the night passes, because he wants that. He wants to be with someone, to be in love and be happy, and he wants it with Kurt. He wants them to be the real thing, and he knows that they eventually could have been, so why did he have to go and mess it all up?

Jeff and Nick walk him home at the end of the night, handing him over to a confused Wes, who makes him go straight to bed after drinking some water.

Blaine falls asleep as soon as his body hits the mattress.

 

----

 

The next week can only be described as hell. Christmas break is fast approaching, which means an increased workload at NYADA, and also more rehearsals for the play, which premieres mid-January. On top of that Blaine can focus on little else than how he completely ruined everything with Kurt and would really prefer to just dig himself a hole that he could disappear into.

He continues going to The Blue Moon on Friday nights, always with that little hope in his heart, but Kurt never shows. Jeff and Nick keep asking him what the hell he did, but Blaine just shakes his head. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He did pour his heart and soul out to Wes the morning after he got so drunk, and Wes just shook his head and gave him sympathetic glances and didn’t really have any good advice to give him.

One day he passes a window display on his way to NYADA and his gaze falls on a rainbow pin that immediately makes him think of Kurt. Kurt is always wearing pins and brooches of some kind, but Blaine has never seen him wear one like that. There’s a sudden pang in his chest because he hasn’t seen Kurt in weeks now and he misses him so much that it physically hurts. Most of all it hurts thinking about everything that he could have had with Kurt, if only he’d handled things differently. That strange bond he’s felt with Kurt ever since the first time they met has grown stronger every week, and it’s still difficult to explain it, but it’s there. The fact that he hasn’t seen Kurt in a while doesn’t change that.

So before he has time to really think about it Blaine finds himself entering the shop, and then exiting it again a few minutes later, carrying a bag containing the rainbow pin in a small box, neatly wrapped up in Christmas paper with a sticker that says ‘Merry Christmas’ in cheerful lettering.

He has no idea what he’s doing. He has no idea why he’s buying a Christmas present for someone he might not ever see again. But he decides not to examine it too closely. Instead he carries the present around in his messenger bag every day, on the odd chance that he may run into Kurt around the campus area, like he did that one time in the coffee shop.

Then suddenly he’s hit with another idea.

Kurt’s friend, Rachel Berry. Maybe he should try and track her down. He’s not exactly sure which classes she’s in, but Kurt did say she was in her second year so it shouldn’t be too hard to find out. Plus, she’s quite well known around school. Maybe he can convince her to set up a meeting between him and Kurt, or at least give Kurt a message from him.

Unfortunately he doesn’t get much of a chance to look into it, because his life really is insanely busy at the moment. And suddenly the last day before Christmas break is there, and Blaine is walking around campus handing out flyers for the play.

And then he sees her.

Rachel Berry.

He can hardly believe his luck, but it’s definitely her. He gives a quiet thank you for this amazing Christmas miracle, and walks right up to her without giving himself time to think too much.

“Hi,” he says with a bright smile and hands her a flyer. “I hope you’ll come see our play. And tell all your friends to come, too.”

 

 

 

She looks at him for a moment, and then she takes the flyer from him, glancing at it briefly.

“I’ll see if I can make it,” she says, and makes a move to continue walking.

He stops her with a hand on her arm. “Um…,” he says, suddenly having no idea what to say. Rachel looks at him as if he’s a real weirdo. “I was just wondering if… if you’d give Kurt a message from me?”

She continues to stare at him for a moment, until something seems to dawn on her.

“You’re Blaine,” she says slowly. “I mean, I know who you are, the school is not that big, but I never… I never connected you with Kurt’s Blaine. He never told me you’re a NYADA student.”

Kurt’s Blaine. Blaine suddenly feels warm all over. He wants nothing more than for that to be true.

“He talks about me?” he can’t help but ask, completely unable to keep the surprise out of his voice. Rachel knows about his presence if Kurt’s life, which means that Kurt must have mentioned him to her. Kurt talks about him.

There’s suddenly a wild, fluttering feeling in Blaine’s stomach. Maybe he still has a chance.

Rachel looks at him with renewed interest now, but before she says anything her face hardens again. “I shouldn’t be talking to you.”

“Yes, you should,” Blaine insists. “I really need to speak with Kurt and I need your help to do that.”

Rachel shakes her head. “No. Kurt is really messed up over whatever happened between you two and I’m not going to make it worse for him. Kurt needs people in his life that he can count on, and to be completely frank with you, you don’t seem like you’re that kind of person.”

Blaine tries not to be offended by that. “You don’t know me,” he points out.

“And you don’t know Kurt. You don’t know how difficult it is for him.”

“I know, and that’s my point. I want to get to know him. But I can’t do that unless I get to talk with him. Please. Please help me out.”

He looks at her with the most pleading, earnest look he can muster. Rachel studies at him for a long moment.

“Okay,” she finally says with a dramatic sigh. “I can give him your number. Then it’s up to him whether he wants to contact you or not.”

Blaine breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he says, as he finds a pen in his bag and quickly writes his number down on one of the flyers. “Just tell him that he can phone or text me whenever. I’m leaving the city for Christmas break tomorrow, but it doesn’t matter, I would love to hear from him.”

Rachel takes the flyer and looks at the written number for a moment. “I’m not promising you anything,” she warns him. “I’ll give this to Kurt, but after that it’s up to him. If he doesn’t want to talk to you, then you have to respect that.”

Blaine nods, though he has no idea how he’s supposed to do that. How is he supposed to just… give up?

He doesn’t even want to think about that.

“Thank you,” he says again, giving her a grateful smile. “This really means a lot to me. And just so you know, I’m serious about Kurt. I’m not playing games here.”

Rachel considers him for a moment. “Okay,” she says finally. She re-shoulders her bag. “I have to go. Bye, Blaine.”

“Bye,” he says as he watches her leave. “And remember to come to the show!”

“We’ll see,” she calls back.

The rest of the day Blaine feels giddy with anticipation and renewed hope. He keeps his phone close at all times, just in case Kurt calls.

 

----

 

But when Blaine leaves New York the next day to go back to Ohio for Christmas break, he still hasn’t heard from Kurt. He tries not to feel too disappointed by that, tries to tell himself that he needs to give Kurt time. It’s still less than twenty-four hours since he gave his number to Rachel.

But by the time Christmas Day comes along Kurt still hasn’t contacted him, and Blaine’s Christmas present for him still sits unopened on Blaine’s nightstand.

Blaine spends most of his time in Ohio reconnecting with old friends and relatives. It’s nice to see everyone, but Kurt is always on his mind, and each day that passes without a word from him makes Blaine feel more and more discouraged. Even though he’s usually an optimistic person (sometimes almost too optimistic, he’s been told), he finds himself wondering if he’ll ever see Kurt again at all.

But then, three days after Christmas, the text finally comes.

Hi, Blaine, it’s Kurt. Rachel told me you wanted to talk to me.

Blaine’s heart starts beating faster as he reads the words. Kurt! Kurt has sent him a text. Kurt has contacted him.

There’s still hope.

His hands are shaking as he types out the reply.

Kurt, I’m so happy to hear from you. I really just wanted to apologize for kissing you. I was way out of line.

It’s okay. Apology accepted.

Thank you. Can I see you? To show you that I’m not really the kind of guy that you must think I am?

I don’t know, Blaine. I can’t see how anything good would come out of it.

Please, Kurt? I’m visiting my parents in Ohio for Christmas break, but I would love to see you as soon as I get back to New York.

You’re from Ohio?

Yeah, I’m from Westerville. Why?

It takes a while before the next text comes through.

I’m from Lima.

Blaine just stares at Kurt’s short text for a while before he’s able to reply. Everything about meeting Kurt has felt like fate and this only adds to that.

Really? Lima, Ohio?

Yes. I’m home on Christmas break, too.

Blaine feels like it’s almost too good to be true. He can hardly breathe as he types in the next text.

Please let me see you? I can drive to Lima, I can be there this afternoon. Please, Kurt. I’m not trying to make things hard on you, but I really think that we should talk.

It takes almost an hour before the next text comes.

I’m busy today. But… I’m free for coffee tomorrow afternoon.

Blaine breathes a sigh of relief and can barely contain the joyful scream that wants to burst out of him.

Thank you, Kurt, I would love that. Tomorrow afternoon is perfect. I can be there around four?

Yes, four is good. Do you know The Lima Bean?

No, but I’m sure I can find it. I’ll be there.

Okay. See you then.

See you, Kurt. And thank you.

 

----

 

The next day Blaine borrows his father’s car and drives to Lima.

He’s able to find The Lima Bean fairly easy – the first person he asks gives him a good description of how to get there – and arrives almost half an hour early. But that’s okay. At least he’s not late. He really does want to show Kurt that he takes this seriously, even though he might come across as a bit desperate.

Oh well. He kind of is.

He orders a cup of coffee by the counter, and he really wants to buy one for Kurt, too, but it could still be a while before Kurt arrives, and it’s not like Blaine knows what kind of coffee he prefers. That’s just one of the many, many things he’s hoping to eventually learn about Kurt.

He finds a table that’s relatively secluded, figuring that if they’re going to talk it might be good to have a bit of privacy.

Then there’s nothing to do but wait.

Blaine taps his foot restlessly, unable to sit still. He’s just too full of excitement. And nerves. A whole lot of nerves. If he messes this up, then he knows he won’t get any more chances.

Time seems to move in slow motion and Blaine finds himself checking the clock every two minutes, but finally, a few minutes before four, Kurt walks through the door.

Blaine’s heart does a little jump and he immediately sits up a little straighter, unable to contain his smile because Kurt looks gorgeous. He gives Kurt a small wave and Kurt gives him a nod and a small smile in acknowledgement before he stops by the counter to order his coffee.

Blaine lets out a slow breath and lets his shoulders sink, feeling like the world is about to right itself again. Kurt is here. Finally he can see him and talk to him again, and that ache that Blaine’s had in his stomach ever since that night where everything went so terribly wrong is already starting to fade.

He’s missed Kurt so much but he’s here now, and Blaine will do anything to make things okay.

A few minutes later Kurt comes over.

“Hi,” he says and gracefully sits down on the chair across the table from Blaine, gingerly placing the cup of coffee on the table in front of him.

“Hi,” Blaine says, smiling widely. “It’s great to see you. You look… beautiful.”

Kurt blushes and looks a little uncomfortable. Blaine wonders if maybe that was a bit too forward. But he only said what he was thinking, and before he came here today he decided that he’s going to just be himself. He wants Kurt to see who he is, and what better way to show him than to just… be Blaine?

He should maybe try to contain his enthusiasm a little though.

“Thank you for meeting me,” he says, watching as Kurt takes a careful sip of his coffee. “It means a lot.”

Kurt nods. “I wasn’t sure if I should,” he says a bit stiffly, his gaze flickering uncertainly. “But then I… I wanted to see you.”

Blaine’s smile grows again. Kurt wanted to see him.

“I’m glad,” Blaine says with an exhale, just so relieved and happy that they’re sitting here together right now. “And again, I’m so sorry for kissing you like that. I’d wanted to do it for a long time and I just… couldn’t help myself. But that’s no excuse. I ambushed you, and I’m really sorry for that.”

Kurt studies him for a moment, like he’s trying to read Blaine’s mind. “Like I said, apology accepted. And I’m sorry for disappearing. I shouldn’t have, but you took me off guard.”

Blaine looks down, embarrassed. He really did screw up. He’s just grateful that Kurt’s here right now.

“You don’t have to apologize, Kurt,” he says. “What happened was all my fault. But… do you mind if I ask you a question?”

Kurt shakes his head, but he looks apprehensive.

“Okay. Why… why did you never come back to The Blue Moon? I waited for you, hoping I’d get a chance to talk to you, to say I’m sorry… but you never came.”

Kurt nods and looks down. “I needed to think,” he says after a while.

“About what?”

“About… everything. I used to come to The Blue Moon to feel like I was in control for a little while. And suddenly… I wasn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

Kurt shakes his head. “I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m sorry. You probably deserve some sort of explanation, but–”

“It’s okay,” Blaine says, letting Kurt off the hook even though he’s dying to know the answer. He really is trying not to push. “Tell me something else instead. Will you be back? After New Year’s, when we’re both back in New York… will you be back at The Blue Moon on Fridays?”

Kurt seems hesitant, and Blaine continues, “Look, Kurt, you need to know something. I really like you. I might be falling for you, even. From the first moment I saw you I thought you were the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. And I felt something with you that I’ve never felt before, like there was a bond between us, and I know that sounds crazy, but...” He trails off, not quite sure how to end that sentence. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m for real, Kurt. I promise you that.”

Kurt stares at him. This time Blaine doesn’t take his eyes off him. He wants Kurt to see that he really does mean it, even though he’s most likely coming on way too strong. Again.

“You’re falling for me?” Kurt’s voice is shaking, disbelieving. “You don’t even know me.”

“Maybe not. But I know you’re a genuine, beautiful, good person. And I want to get to know you for real.”

Kurt continues to look at him. He swallows and doesn’t seem to know what to say. He looks so small and vulnerable all of a sudden, nothing like the confident dancer from The Blue Moon.

“Kurt, tell me something,” Blaine says quietly. Kurt’s still looking at him. “Are you… completely uninterested in me? Because if you are… then I’ll leave you alone. I’ll stop bothering you.”

It takes a lot for him to say that. He never wants to give up on Kurt. But if Kurt really doesn’t want anything to do with him, then he knows he has to respect that. He has to stop pushing him for things that are never going to happen.

Kurt takes a long moment before he speaks. He looks conflicted, his mouth opening and closing a few times even though no words come out.

“I’m not completely uninterested,” he says finally, so quietly that Blaine can barely hear him.

Blaine can’t help grinning like an idiot. “Okay,” he says, utterly relieved. “Good. Then I’ll keep coming to The Blue Moon on Fridays. And I really hope I’ll see you there.”

Kurt nods, a tiny, hopeful smile tugging on his lips. “You might,” he says simply.

They’re quiet for a moment.

“So I almost couldn’t believe it when you said you were from Lima,” Blaine says, feeling like it might be time for a change of subject. “Are you visiting your family for the holidays?”

Kurt looks sad for a second, but then he swallows and nods. “Yes. It’s great seeing them, but the truth is that I can’t wait to go back to New York. Lima has always been too small for me.”

Blaine smiles a little. “New York suits you,” he says softly. “I never would’ve guessed you’re from small town Ohio.”

Kurt huffs a little laugh. “Well, thank you, I guess.”

They chat for a while longer. Well, mostly Blaine is the one who talks. Kurt still seems unwilling to share too much about himself, but at least he’s here. He’s sitting in this coffee shop with Blaine, having a proper conversation, if still a bit stilted and awkward.

They’re finally getting to know each other.

Just as they’re preparing to leave, Blaine thinks of something.

“Oh, I can’t believe I forgot,” he says, rummaging in his bag for a moment until he finds what he’s looking for. “I wanted to give you this before Christmas, but I never got the chance, so…” He hands the small wrapped box to Kurt. “Here. Merry Christmas, Kurt.”

Kurt just stares at the present. Then he stares at Blaine with wide, disbelieving eyes. “You… you got me a Christmas present?”

“Sort of? I saw something that made me think of you, and I couldn’t stop myself from buying it.”

Kurt looks absolutely stunned as he takes the present from Blaine and slowly starts to unwrap it. His fingers are visibly shaking.

When he uncovers the box he looks at Blaine again.

“Go on, open it,” Blaine says, feeling nervous all of a sudden. It’s not like what he’s gotten for Kurt is all that big. It’s actually not very big at all. God, it’s so silly, when he starts to think about it. He should’ve gotten Kurt something else, something that would really show him how Blaine feels.

But then Kurt opens the box.

And just stares at the pin inside.

“It’s probably kind of stupid,” Blaine finds himself saying. “It’s not that much, but I’ve noticed how you always wear pins and I thought–”

He comes to an abrupt halt when Kurt looks up at him with tears in his eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispers, looking at Blaine with something that looks like wonder in his eyes. “I don’t know what to say other than that.”

“So you like it?” Blaine asks hopefully.

Kurt nods, wiping away a tear. “It’s perfect. It’s like… you see me.”

Blaine doesn’t know exactly what he means by that. Of course he sees Kurt. It’s impossible not to.

They say their goodbyes soon after, and Blaine drives home feeling lighter and more optimistic than he has in a long time.

It finally feels like they’re moving forward.

 

----

 

Happy New Year, Kurt!

Happy New Year, Blaine :)

 

----

 

The first Friday after he returns to New York, Blaine feels nervous when he steps inside The Blue Moon. He’s felt pretty good about the whole thing with Kurt ever since their talk in The Lima Bean, and they’ve even sent a few texts back and forth after that, but it’s difficult to know what that actually means.

Because even after all that, even after Kurt told him that he wasn’t uninterested, Kurt might not show up tonight.

Blaine feels like tonight is it. Tonight he’ll get his answer. If Kurt shows up, then there might be a chance for them. They’ll be taking another small step in their slow journey forward.

But if he doesn’t, then Blaine will have to accept, once and for all, that it’s over. That he’ll never be a part of Kurt’s life. It hurts just thinking about it, but he can’t keep pushing for things that just aren’t going to happen. Not forever.

But Blaine soon discovers that he doesn’t have to worry.

For the first time, Kurt has actually arrived before Blaine. Blaine spots him immediately, in the same moment that Kurt sees him. For a moment the world seems to stand still as they look at each other across the room, the little smile on Kurt’s face the most welcome sight that Blaine has ever seen. Blaine smiles too, and immediately starts to make his way over to Kurt.

The other people in the room don’t matter. They’ve never mattered. Tonight is just about the two of them.

Which really isn’t that much different from how it’s been ever since the first night they danced together, but it feels different.

Blaine knows now that what he feels for Kurt is mutual, at least to a certain degree.

And when he reaches Kurt and discovers the small rainbow pin attached to his shirt, his heart expands and grows impossibly big as he looks at the man who has come to mean so much in such a short period of time.

Chapter Text

The opening night for the student production is fast approaching, leaving Blaine far too busy to focus on much else. He’s so busy that it’s only a couple of days before the premiere that he realizes two things.

One: the opening night is on a Friday, which means that he can’t go to The Blue Moon that night.

And two: he’s completely forgotten to invite Kurt to the premiere, like he’s been meaning to.

Well, he better fix that right away. He quickly fishes his phone out of his bag and starts to type.

I know it’s kind of short notice, but will you come to the opening night of my show on Friday? Obviously I can’t make it to The Blue Moon this week, but I would love to see you at the show instead.

The answer comes half an hour later.

Thank you for the invitation. I’ll see if I can make it.

Friday night comes and Blaine is pacing nervously backstage. Not only is it the premiere of the show that he and a bunch of other students have been working hard on for months now, but Kurt might be there. Kurt might be in the audience tonight, he might be there to see Blaine perform.

Blaine knows that the theater will be packed tonight, filled with family members, other students, teachers, and maybe even some critics. But he doesn’t care about any of them, other than his friends, of course. He just wants to be good for Kurt. He wants to be amazing for Kurt.

For some reason he really wants to make Kurt proud.

He peeks out from behind the curtains, trying to catch a glimpse of Kurt in the audience, if he’s even there. It’s difficult – the room really is packed and he doesn’t have the best angle. He spots a few other people that he knows, and there are Nick and Jeff, but his gaze continues to move through the sea of people until…

Blaine swallows, his nerves increasing even as a small smile breaks out across his face.

There, in the sixth row, a little off to the side, is Kurt, seated next to Rachel Berry.

Blaine steps back, letting the curtain fall closed. He has to be the absolute best he can be tonight. For himself and the future he hopes to have in music and theater, and for Kurt.

 

----

 

The night is a massive success.

Blaine sings, dances and acts his heart out, really putting it all out there, and his fellow cast mates aren’t far behind him.

Blaine glances over at Kurt a couple of times during the performance, gives him a wink and a smile when he gets the chance, just so Kurt will know that Blaine has seen him and is thrilled that he’s there. It’s difficult to see Kurt’s reaction in the dark room, but Blaine likes to think that he sees a small smile on Kurt’s face.

After receiving a standing ovation from the audience it’s rather chaotic backstage as everyone exchange hugs and high fives and congratulate each other on a job well done.

“A bunch of us are going to Callbacks to celebrate,” one of Blaine’s cast mates tells him. “You should join us.”

Blaine hesitates. He’d love to go, it’s just…

“I might drop by later,” he says. “There’s someone I need to see first.”

He can’t just leave without saying hi to Kurt. Kurt came to see him perform after all. He didn’t have to, but he did, and Blaine just really needs to see him.

“Okay,” his cast mate says with a shrug. “See you later then.”

Blaine changes out of his costume and gets rid of his make-up as quickly as he can. He wants to make it outside before Kurt leaves, but realizes after a while that Kurt has probably left already. There’s really no reason for him to hang around, and Blaine has no idea why he didn’t just text Kurt and ask him to wait. Of course that’s what he should have done.

He sighs and figures he might as well join the others at Callbacks instead. It might be fun, and he can text Kurt tomorrow instead. Maybe even ask if he wants to meet Blaine sometime. Maybe do dinner. Like a date. Maybe.

He steps out of the theater building wondering how he’s going to ask Kurt to go on a date with him without scaring him off again, when he stops dead in his tracks.

Kurt.

He’s there, on the other side of the street. He’s shuffling his feet, looking nervous and slightly uncomfortable, like he isn’t quite sure if he should be there, but he is. He’s there.

Waiting for Blaine.

Blaine can hardly believe it as he hurries across the street, the huge smile on his face impossible to keep in check.

“Kurt! You’re still here!”

Kurt smiles a little and seems to relax when he sees Blaine, but he still twists his hands nervously together.

“Yeah, I… I just wanted to say thank you for inviting me tonight. And to congratulate you. You were… really incredible.”

Blaine grins and tries not to blush. It feels like everything inside him is doing the happy dance. “Thank you. And thank you for coming. It really helped having a friendly face in the audience.”

Kurt looks at him, and Blaine sees something new in his eyes, something he’s never seen there before. It looks like… admiration, maybe. Fondness. And also… wonder.

“I mean it, though,” Kurt says. “You… surprised me, actually. I had no idea you were this good.”

“Um, thanks, I guess?” Blaine says with a laugh, and Kurt gives a short laugh as well and looks down, blushing adorably.

“I just meant that… you’re a NYADA student so I knew you had to be good, I just wasn’t expecting–”

Blaine gently puts a hand on Kurt’s arm.

“It’s okay, Kurt,” he smiles fondly. “Thank you. And thank you, again, for coming tonight. Seeing you in the audience made me want to be the best I could possibly be.”

They look at each other. The atmosphere seems to change all of a sudden, filling with all the things they’re thinking but not saying. Around them the street is turning quieter, most people having left the area by now. Kurt finally opens his mouth as if to say something, but nothing comes out.

Blaine decides to just go for it. “Do you want to, maybe… do something?”

Kurt blinks, surprised. “Like… right now? Do you have time? Isn’t there usually an after party or something that you should attend?”

Blaine shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. I’d rather spend time with you.”

“I–” Kurt looks flushed, his cheeks colored in a lovely shade of red. He bites his lip and finally nods. “Okay. Yes. Yes, I’d… like that.”

“Really?” Blaine hadn’t expected that. “I mean, great!”

Kurt smiles a little. “So what do you want to do?”

Blaine feels brave, the success of the premiere and Kurt’s presence making him feel like he can do anything right now. “Well, my roommate is out of town for the weekend, so… we could go back to my place?”

Kurt’s smile falters, his eyes turning a bit darker, so Blaine quickly adds, “I don’t… I’m not assuming anything, I promise. I just figured it might be nice. To have some time to ourselves, away from the noise and rush of the city. To talk, that’s all.”

Kurt hesitates, and Blaine is almost certain that he’s screwed up again, when Kurt finally, after what seems like forever, gives another small nod and an uncertain-looking smile. “Okay. I’d love to see your place.”

Blaine can’t stop smiling. Kurt wants to see his place. He wants to come home with Blaine.

This is quickly turning into the best night of Blaine’s life.

 

----

 

They take the subway back to Blaine’s place.

They sit next to each other in the rather empty train, swaying in time with the rocking movements. Sometimes their arms brush against one another, sometimes Blaine may lean in an extra inch just to have it happen again. Kurt feels warm and solid next to him, but he also seems nervous still, his hands tucked tightly together in his lap as he stares out the window. Blaine wants to reach out and take one of those hands, to have that connection, but as it is, he’s pretty sure it’s not a very good idea. Even though Kurt agreed to come home with him he still seems uncertain, like he isn’t quite sure if he’s made the right decision. Blaine doesn’t want to give him more reason to doubt this by coming on too strong.

It’s so fragile, what they have. It feels like it could break at any moment, like it only takes one wrong turn to blow it all to pieces. It’s such a strange contrast to the strong bond Blaine feels towards Kurt. Their connection is like nothing he’s ever felt before, and if Kurt shares only some of those feelings, then Blaine knows that they have something. Something that might be bigger than either one of them realize.

As they climb the stairs to Blaine and Wes’ third floor apartment, Blaine racks his brain trying to remember what kind of state the place is in. The living room should be okay, but the kitchen could have been tidier. Wes left it spotless before he went away for the weekend, but Blaine didn’t have time to clean up after grabbing a bite earlier, so he knows there are some dirty dishes in the sink and some empty containers lying around. The bathroom is presentable enough though, and his room should be okay, too.

Not that he expects them to spend much time in his room. This isn’t just some random guy he’s bringing home. This is Kurt. And Blaine would honestly be more than happy to just sit next to him on the couch for the rest of the night.

Blaine unlocks the door a lot less smoothly than he would’ve liked and finally switches the light on, motioning for Kurt to step inside first. They haven’t talked much the last couple of minutes, not since they left the theater really. It’s like they’re both feeling the weight of the moment, like they’re both acutely aware that what they’re doing right now could either bring them closer, or break them all together.

Kurt sweeps his eyes across the room, taking it in. Blaine tries to see his apartment through a stranger’s eyes, and suddenly wishes that he’d had something better to show Kurt. Kurt deserves everything, and this apartment belongs to someone who is neither rich nor famous. It’s just a regular apartment.

“It’s not much,” Blaine finds himself saying, setting his bag down on the floor by the door. “But it’s enough for me and Wes.”

“It’s nice,” Kurt says, still looking around. “Very masculine.”

Blaine huffs a nervous laugh. “Somehow I get the feeling that you don’t necessarily mean that as a compliment.”

“Yes, I do, it’s just… there’s no female touch here. You can immediately tell that this is a guys’ place.” His gaze seems to land on something. “Except for those plants. Those are rather… unexpected.”

Blaine has to smile at that. “Wes brought them,” he explains. “Apparently a place is not a home without a couple of plants. And plastic is cheating, I’ve learned.”

“That I can agree on.”

Kurt is right about the apartment. Apart from the plants, the place, while nice and clean for the most part, lacks the typical feminine touch. There are no tablecloths or throw pillows, and the curtains could be a lot nicer, at least according to Wes’ girlfriend. They haven’t been changed since they moved in, but at least they have curtains, which is more than can be said for Nick and Jeff’s place.

(Blaine just hopes, for the neighbors’ sake, that his friends at least have curtains in the bedroom. He hasn’t actually checked.)

“Have a seat,” Blaine says, gesturing towards the couch. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Just water, please.”

Blaine walks into the kitchen to get a glass of water for Kurt, taking the opportunity to do a quick assessment of the room’s current state. As he thought it’s not perfect, but he quickly puts away some stuff that was lying on the counter, and decides that the rest will just have to do. He doesn’t think the kitchen is where they’ll be spending their time tonight, but he also doesn’t want to come across as a slob if Kurt should happen to take a look.

Then he returns to the living room, where Kurt is now sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch with one leg crossed neatly above the other. He sets the glass of water on the table in front of him, and it’s at that moment he realizes that he might not have thought this whole thing through all that well.

“I know this is terribly rude of me,” he says, looking apologetically at Kurt, “but if you don’t mind I think I’ll go take a quick shower. I’m being a terrible host, but–”

Kurt waves a hand in the air. “Go,” he says. “I’ll be okay here. I’ll watch some TV or something.”

Blaine nods and offers Kurt a quick smile. He feels really stupid for leaving Kurt alone like this, for inviting him here only to disappear as soon as they’re inside, but he knows he’s going to feel even more stupid if he sits next to Kurt all night smelling of sweat and stage.

He showers quickly, not wanting to leave Kurt alone any longer than he has to. He puts on clothes that are nice but not over the top and quickly gels his hair, and then he stops and looks at himself in the mirror for a minute, taking a few moments to just breathe.

Kurt is out there in the living room. Kurt is in Blaine’s apartment. Kurt, who is so amazing, who Blaine is so very in love with, and who has seemed almost inapproachable up until now.

He’s here, and as Blaine stands there, looking at the mirror image of himself, he’s trying very hard not to freak out.

He’s usually very confident when it comes to guys. He goes after what he wants, and if he sees someone he likes he usually jumps right in with both feet. More often than not his confidence and charms has left him with the desired results, and if not then it’s usually not that big a deal. He’s never been all that serious about the guys he’s met, most of the time he just wanted to have fun, with no strings attached and no commitments.

But with Kurt it’s all different. Not only because he’s had to tread a lot more carefully than he usually does, but also because all of Blaine’s usual confidence seems to have vanished, leaving confusing feelings like doubt and uncertainty in its wake. And Blaine knows why.

It’s because Kurt is special. It’s because he means something. It’s because Blaine, for the first time in his life, has met someone that he wants a future with.

He’s in love for the first time in his life, and it’s new and exciting, but also scary as hell.

He takes a deep breath and throws one last look at himself in the mirror. This is who he is. This is what he has to offer. He just hopes that it’s enough, even for someone as special as Kurt.

Out in the living room Kurt has turned the TV on and seems to be channel surfing in an attempt to find something decent to watch. When Blaine appears, however, he switches the TV off completely and sets the remote on the coffee table.

“There’s nothing on,” he says by way of explanation.

“We can watch a movie instead, if you want to,” Blaine suggests as he flops down on the couch next to Kurt, trying his best to seem a lot more confident and at ease that he actually feels. He’s on home turf after all – this is his apartment, and it’s not like it’s the first time he’s brought a guy here. He knows how to be charming. 

Kurt seems to think it over for a moment, but then he slowly shakes his head. “Do you mind if we don’t? I would really love it if we could just… talk.”

Kurt looks right at him, his eyes steady and open. It’s like he’s holding the door open, like he dares Blaine to follow him. But there’s also that vulnerability that’s been there from the start, that look in his eyes that makes him seem fragile sometimes even though Blaine is certain he’s anything but. It feels like Kurt is begging him with his eyes, begging Blaine not to break him, to not throw away what Kurt is now offering him.

And Blaine can only nod, accepting the challenge, accepting the offering. He’s in too deep to do anything else.

“Yeah, let’s talk,” he says, offering Kurt a smile that he hopes is as encouraging as he means it to be. “I’d love that.”

A thought hits him, and he get up off the couch to walk over to his iPod docking system, choosing a playlist and turning it on. He turns the volume down so that the music is merely in the background.

“Is this okay?” he asks, turning to Kurt.

Kurt nods. “Yeah.”

Blaine nods too and returns to the couch. He figures it might be easier for both of them to relax if the silence isn’t so oppressing. It also makes the atmosphere a whole lot more romantic, but Kurt doesn’t seem to mind or notice.

“I’m really glad you came to the show tonight,” Blaine says as he sits back down and settles himself into a comfortable position. “It meant a lot to me.”

“I’m glad I came,” Kurt says almost shyly and looks at him with a small smile. “It was nice, seeing you on stage.” He pauses, looking like he wants to say something more. Blaine waits.

“It’s actually the first NYADA production I’ve seen. Which might seem strange, seeing as I’m friends with Rachel, who’s starred in several roles, but–” He looks down and seems to struggle as he searches for the right words. “I haven’t been able to, in the past. Everything concerning NYADA is a little bittersweet for me, to be honest.”

“Why?” Blaine asks. He didn’t realize that coming to the show tonight was such a big deal for Kurt.

“Well,” Kurt starts. “The truth is that there was a time when I actually planned on going to NYADA myself.”

“Really?” Blaine had not expected that, and he can’t help but lean in closer in interest. “Why didn’t you?”

“Some things happened,” Kurt says with a small shrug. “I applied and got an audition, but… I never showed up.”

“Why?”

“I just…” He shakes his head. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

“That’s okay,” Blaine says, even though the curiosity is almost killing him. Having someone say A but not B is not something he’s very fond of, but Kurt is clearly trying to figure out how far in he’s willing to let Blaine in and Blaine wants to be respectful of that. It’s obvious that being here at all is a big step for him.

“I’m going to guess you’re into singing and acting, then,” he says instead, and Kurt looks up, clearly grateful for the slight change of subject.

“I used to be. Now I’m mostly into fashion.”

“So are you a student?”

Kurt shakes his head. “No. I’m an intern at Vogue.”

“You are?” Blaine can’t quite hide how impressed he is. “That’s… amazing. I mean, Vogue.”

“Yes,” Kurt says, clearly proud. “I like it a lot. Working there has made me realize that I want a future in fashion. But I would really like to go to college first. Get myself a degree. I doubt my high school diploma impresses anyone.”

“It impresses enough to get a job at Vogue, apparently,” Blaine grins. “And school isn’t everything. But if you want to go to college, you should. It’s not too late.”

“I know. I’m thinking about it.” He tilts his head a little, looking at Blaine. “So why did you decide to go to NYADA?”

Blaine shrugs. “I love performing. Singing, mostly, but acting and dancing as well. It’s what I want to do. My dream is to be on Broadway someday.”

Kurt smiles. “If tonight was any indication, you’ll get there.”

“I hope so.”

They’re quiet for a moment. Blaine turns sideways on the couch so he can see Kurt better. He’s a bit more relaxed now and it looks like Kurt feels the same way. But then they’ve only talked about the easy stuff so far. Blaine suspects that some of the things they have to talk about tonight will be a lot more difficult.

He figures he might as well start right away. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

Kurt shakes his head. “Go ahead.”

“I was just wondering why… I mean, you didn’t seem all that interested in getting to know me at first. You didn’t even want to talk with me. But then we had coffee back in Ohio and you came to my play tonight. And now you’re here. I mean… why? What’s changed?”

Kurt looks down, shifting uncomfortably. He looks like he doesn’t really want to answer. “I’ve had some… bad experiences,” he says eventually. “With guys. Most guys I meet seem to only be after one thing. It’s made me very cautious, I guess.”

Blaine nods slowly, not all that surprised. He suspected something like that. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry that you’ve had bad stuff happen to you.”

Kurt shrugs. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know. I want you to know that I’m not like that, though. It’s not just about sex for me. And I’m not out to use you, or play games.”

Kurt seems to startle a little at Blaine’s forwardness regarding his intentions, but he looks up at him again. “I’m… actually starting to believe that,” he says, but there’s still fear in his eyes, and while he might believe Blaine, he’s clearly not completely convinced that he should. “It’s why I came tonight.” He makes a grimace. “And then Rachel practically pushed me out the door. She seems to have decided that you’re okay.”

Blaine laughs. “She seems like a force to be reckoned with.”

Kurt huffs. “She is, believe me.”

They look at each other, both with smiles on their faces. Blaine is struck by how beautiful Kurt’s smile is. During the time they’ve known each other, Blaine hasn’t been given the opportunity to see Kurt smile very often.

Before he can’t think it over, he reaches out and takes Kurt’s hand. Kurt startles a little, his gaze flickering down to watch their hands, but he makes no immediate attempts to pull away.

“Kurt, I mean what I said at The Lima Bean,” Blaine says intently, willing Kurt to understand this. Kurt looks up at him again. “I’m falling for you. Or, I have fallen for you, actually. And I just hope that you’ll let me show you how amazing I think you are. And that you’ll give me a chance to really get to know you.”

Kurt looks at him. His eyes are bright, his lips trembling a little. He swallows.

“Okay,” he whispers.

“Okay?”

Kurt nods. He swallows again, his eyes intent on Blaine, and before Blaine gets a chance to register what is happening, Kurt has leaned in and is kissing him.

It’s only a short moment before Kurt pulls away again. Blaine can hardly wrap his head around what is happening before it’s over. But Kurt’s face is still close, Kurt’s face and that little, hopeful smile he’s now wearing, and Blaine smiles too. And then they’re kissing again, deeper and with more intent this time.

Kissing Kurt is one of the most amazing things that Blaine has ever felt. It’s so different from the kiss at The Blue Moon, when Kurt was completely unprepared. Kissing Kurt now is warmth and softness and intimacy – it feels like Kurt is finally starting to let go, like he’s finally opening up to Blaine, letting him in, fully and with no reservation. It feels like a lot more than just a kiss.

When they pull back for the second time, they’re both breathing hard. Blaine leans his forehead against Kurt’s, his hands coming up to rest on Kurt’s cheeks as they breathe in sync.

“You’re a really good kisser,” he whispers breathlessly, and it’s such a stupid thing to say, but it makes Kurt laugh, so Blaine figures it could’ve been worse.

“I know,” Kurt replies, sounding so smug that Blaine bursts out laughing. It’s so different between them all of a sudden – it’s like they’ve overcome some sort of obstacle, like a wall is starting to disappear.

“Stay with me tonight,” Blaine whispers on impulse.

He feels Kurt start to pull away a little, but Blaine uses his hands to keep him in place.

“We don’t have to do anything,” he adds quickly. “We can just sleep. I just… I don’t want to say goodbye to you tonight.”

He can feel Kurt breathe against him, little warm puffs of air against Blaine’s face.

“I don’t want to say goodbye to you, either,” he whispers.

“Then don’t. Stay with me.”

“And we’ll just sleep?”

“We’ll just sleep.”

Kurt is still for a moment longer, but then he nods slowly. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

Blaine breathes out a sigh of relief. For a moment he was scared that he might’ve pushed too far again. But tonight is different. Everything is changing now. Kurt is starting to let him in. He’s still scared, still cautious, but he’s here. He’s letting Blaine see him, at least a little.

They move to Blaine’s bedroom without saying much. Blaine finds a t-shirt and a pair of sweats for Kurt to sleep in, and quickly changes out of his own clothes while Kurt’s using the bathroom. When he’s done, he sits at the edge of the bed, nervously shuffling his feet. He’s still not completely sure that Kurt won’t change his mind about this.

But then Kurt returns, wearing Blaine’s clothes, and damn if that isn’t one of the hottest things that Blaine has ever seen. It’s going to be difficult not to let his thoughts wander with Kurt in bed with him.

“Just… um… hop in,” he says clumsily, gesturing vaguely to the bed. “I’ll just use the bathroom real quick.”

Inside the bathroom he takes a few moments to breathe, trying to get his hardness to go down. This is so not the time for that. No matter how hot Kurt is, how much Blaine wants to do all kinds of things with him, Kurt is clearly not ready for it. And if Blaine has learned anything over the past couple of months, it’s that he can’t push Kurt too hard. They’ve already taken giant steps forward tonight. Now he needs to respect Kurt’s boundaries.

And somehow he feels like it’s the right thing for himself as well. He usually doesn’t hesitate going to bed with someone if he feels attracted to them, but he wants this to be different. Because it is different. It feels right to connect with Kurt on other levels first, to create that foundation before they do anything else.

When Blaine returns to the bedroom a few minutes later, Kurt is sitting on the right side of the bed under the covers, looking quite uncomfortable. He smiles a little nervously when he sees Blaine.

“I wasn’t sure if you have a certain side that you prefer…”

Blaine shakes his head. “This is fine. You choose.”

Kurt nods, and Blaine crawls into bed next to Kurt. After a few moments of awkward shifting and attempts at finding the best position, they settle down on their sides, facing each other. The only light in the room comes from Blaine’s bedside lamp, bathing Kurt’s face in soft, orange light. He looks heartbreakingly beautiful.

“You’re so beautiful,” Blaine murmurs before he can think better of it. Kurt just looks at him steadily, his face soft and open.

“You’re not the first person who’s told me that.”

Blaine realizes that Kurt is referring to something he mentioned before, about how the guys he meets are usually only after one thing. He shakes his head.

“I don’t mean it in a shallow way,” he explains. “You’re beautiful because it comes from inside. Because you have a beautiful heart. You… you move me, Kurt.”

Kurt’s breath catches a little. One of his hands finds one of Blaine’s under the cover.

“You’re different, Blaine,” he whispers, with something close to wonder in his voice. “You’re not like the others.”

Blaine shrugs. “I don’t know that. I just know that… that I want you in my life.”

Kurt doesn’t say anything. He looks at Blaine with wide eyes, and there’s that fear again.

“What are you afraid of?” Blaine whispers, squeezing Kurt’s hand.

“What do you mean?” Kurt sounds apprehensive, and Blaine can tell that he’s starting to close in on himself again, like he’s reminding himself that he needs to keep up his protective wall, the one that Blaine thought they had finally started to tear down. He doesn’t like that wall.

“Just that… I see that fear in your eyes,” he hurries to explain. “It’s been there ever since we first met. It never really goes away, there’s always a shadow there, and I… I know you’re carrying something, and I just…” He shrugs a little helplessly. “I want to help.”

Kurt stares at him. “You want to help?” He sounds disbelieving.

“That sounded pretty stupid, didn’t it? I’m sorry–”

“No,” Kurt interrupts him softly. “No, it’s not stupid. It’s just that…you hardly know me, and yet you’re telling me these things. Things like… you want to help. And you sound like you mean it.”

“Yeah, of course. I mean… it’s you,” he says, trying to explain it to Kurt. “Of course I want to help.”

Kurt continues to stare at him for a while. His eyes are bright, suddenly shining with unshed tears. After a while he lets out a shaky sigh, and lowers his gaze.

“I lost my dad about two years ago,” he says quietly, his voice sounding incredibly small. “He died of a heart attack. He was everything to me and I… I know I should be able to get past it, but I can’t. My mom died when I was a kid so it was just me and him after that and I… I miss him so much.” He hides his face in his hands, his voice breaking.

Blaine immediately scoots forward and wraps Kurt up in his arms. Kurt’s whole body is shaking.

“I’m so sorry, Kurt,” he whispers. “I can’t even imagine how hard that must be.”

Kurt stays in his arms for a while, crying silently, but then he pulls back, wiping at his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he says, sniffling. “It’s just difficult to talk about it, still. I feel like I should have been able to move on by now, but it’s so hard.”

“There’s no time limit for these kinds of things,” Blaine says. “You have to take the time you need.”

“Yeah, but it’s like… everybody expects me to be okay,” Kurt says. “They expect me to have moved on with my life. And I haven’t. Not really.” He’s quiet for a moment. “The day he died… it was the day that I was supposed to have my NYADA audition.”

Blaine has to swallow down a lump in his throat. Hearing Kurt talk about this, to be openly sharing what is probably the most difficult thing he’s ever had to go through, makes Blaine want to cry. He just wishes he could take some of Kurt’s pain away, make it better for him somehow. But as it is, he doesn’t even know what to say.

“Wow, that’s tough,” he manages.

“Yeah,” Kurt whispers. “My dad was so proud of me for getting that audition, was so certain I’d get in. I… I never contacted the school, never asked them for another chance to audition. I felt guilty about that, felt like I was disappointing my dad somehow by not even trying, but I couldn’t stand to even think about it. I couldn’t fathom the idea of singing and dancing when I could barely get out of bed most days. And then later, I… I realized I wanted to work in fashion instead. I’ve been thinking about applying to Parsons, but so far I haven’t… I haven’t been able to take that step.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t know. Fear, I guess. It’s like… if I get into that school it’ll be like I’m moving on. And I want to do that, but then I just…”

“Kurt, moving on doesn’t mean that you’ll forget about him. It doesn’t mean that you love him any less.”

Kurt looks at him quietly for a while. There are still tears on his cheeks. He finally nods.

“I know that, I just…” He lets out a shaky breath. “I’ve been so lost. I’m still lost. It’s why I’ve gone out dancing every Friday. To forget, just for a little while.”

It’s all finally starting to make sense to Blaine. Why Kurt was so uninterested at first, why he seemed so indifferent to everyone at the club, why he always seemed so sad. Blaine gets it now.

“Thank you for sharing this with me,” he says. “I know it’s not easy.”

“I don’t really talk about this,” Kurt confesses, wiping at his eyes again. “I mean, Rachel and another friend of mine, Mercedes, they’re great and they’re always there for me. And I have a pretty incredible stepmother and a clumsy but loveable stepbrother who I love. But…”

“They’re not your dad.”

Kurt looks at him. “No, they’re not.”

They’re both quiet. After a while Kurt pulls away from Blaine a little.

“I apologize for unloading on you,” he says, looking a little embarrassed.

Blaine shakes his head. “No, don’t be. I’m just… thrilled that you trust me enough to let me in. That means a lot to me. More than you know.”

Kurt considers him for a while. He wipes the rest of the tears away and then he nods, a small, hopeful smile appearing on his lips.

“Well, thank you for listening. Now, can we please go back to the kissing?”

Blaine almost chokes on his breath and stares at Kurt in shock for a second, not sure if he heard him right. But Kurt’s expression has changed now, has turned mischievous and almost playful, and Blaine realizes that Kurt is ready to think about something else than all the heavy stuff. He huffs a surprised laugh. Kurt is definitely not predictable.

“Yes, we can,” he smiles, and then they do just that. They kiss slowly and lazily, getting used to this new way of connecting, and share a few whispered words every now and then until they both fall asleep.

 

----

 

When Blaine wakes up the next morning the first thing he notices is that Kurt’s not there.

For a moment he’s filled with dread, but then he tells himself that Kurt’s probably just using the bathroom. After what they shared last night, after the way they connected, it’s hard to believe that Kurt would just leave without a word.

And he hasn’t.

Kurt isn’t in the bathroom, but when Blaine enters the living room he finds Kurt sitting on the piano bench by the keyboard. He’s running his fingers slowly over the keys, looking lost in thought.

He looks so beautiful, dressed in Blaine’s clothes, with his hair still disheveled after sleeping. He looks he belongs here, right here in Blaine’s apartment.

“Good morning,” Blaine says quietly, not wanting to spook him.

Kurt turns to him. He smiles. “Morning.”

“Did you sleep well?” Blaine closes the distance between himself and where Kurt’s sitting.

Kurt nods. “I did, thank you. I’m very pleased to notice that you don’t snore, at least not loud enough to wake me, nor do you hog the covers.”

Blaine grins. “I know. I’m an excellent bed companion.”

Kurt smiles and turns back to the keyboard. “Do you play?”

“I do.”

It’s technically Wes’ keyboard, but Blaine’s the one who uses it the most. One day, when he has a bigger living space, he’s definitely going to buy himself a proper piano.

Kurt scoots over on the bench, making room for Blaine next to him. “Will you play something for me?”

Blaine sits down and stretches his fingers a little. “What do you want to hear?”

Kurt shrugs. “Just… anything. Something that you like.”

Blaine thinks for a moment, tries to think of a song that captures how he’s feeling right now. On this early morning in his apartment, with Kurt next to him, fresh out of Blaine’s bed. How right this feels, how he’s filled with this quiet, buzzing happiness, how it’s so difficult to not dream about a lifetime of moments like this.

And then he knows exactly what song he wants to play.

He positions his hands on the keys and starts on the first chords. Then he sings.

It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside
I’m not one of those who can easily hide
I don’t have much money but boy if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live

 

 

 

Kurt sits quietly, so close to Blaine that their upper arms and thighs are touching. He doesn’t move, not until Blaine is about halfway through the song, and Blaine almost loses focus on the song all together when Kurt’s head suddenly comes to rest on his shoulder.

He keeps going though, determined to play this song for Kurt and to not disrupt this moment.

Kurt is quiet through the whole song. Only when Blaine reaches the very last chorus does he hear Kurt, singing quietly, and his voice is so beautiful and clear and perfect that Blaine just wants to stop singing all together just so he can hear only Kurt.

He doesn’t, though. Instead they sing the last chorus together, their voices blending together rather perfectly, if Blaine may say so.

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

When the last sound dies out they’re both quiet for a moment. Kurt’s head is still on Blaine’s shoulder and Blaine isn’t quite sure what to do right now. He doesn’t want to break the spell.

“You have a beautiful voice,” he says quietly.

“So do you. Thank you for that song, it was…” Kurt trails off and pauses for a moment. “I keep telling myself that you can’t possibly be real and you keep proving to me that you are.”

Blaine has to swallow a sudden lump in his throat. “So you’re starting to trust me, then?”

Kurt lifts his head and looks at Blaine. “Blaine, I just slept in your bed. I don’t do that. I don’t… follow guys home.” He pauses again. “You asked me yesterday what’s changed. Why I’m… letting you get close. What changed is that you saw me. I realized that when you gave me that pin for Christmas. You look beyond the surface and even after everything that I told you yesterday you still seem to want me around.”

“Is that so strange?”

“To me it is.” He leans his head on Blaine’s shoulder again. “I was in a serious relationship once. We were together through most of high school. But he took off only a couple of weeks after my dad died. He couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle me, I guess. Not when things got hard.”

His voice sounds detached, almost cold all of a sudden, and Blaine understands that this must be something that he prefers not to think or talk about. And Blaine gets it now. He gets Kurt’s skepticism to guys. Kurt clearly hasn’t been given much reason to trust people in the past. He’s lost people he cared about and been left behind by others. And now all his instincts are telling him to protect himself, to protect his heart. With that in mind, it’s pretty amazing that he’s here at all.

“I’m not gonna run, Kurt,” he says quietly. “I couldn’t. Not now.”

Kurt nods next to him, but Blaine knows that he’s still not a hundred percent convinced. He’s letting Blaine in, but he’s clearly, and understandably, still scared that he’s going to end up hurt again.

He untangles an arm and wraps it around Kurt’s shoulders, pulling him closer.

Kurt’s giving him a chance. It’s up to him now to prove to Kurt that he can be trusted.

Chapter Text

They see more of each other after that night, but with both their schedules being quite demanding and not always matching up, it’s difficult to get as much time together as Blaine would’ve liked.

But sometimes they go for coffee, or for lunch if they get the chance, and one time they even caught a Broadway show. They haven’t been back at Blaine’s place, nor have they been at Kurt’s, but there’s not really a reason for it. It’s mostly just that they haven’t gotten the chance. Plus, Blaine can tell that Kurt is still a bit hesitant about everything.

Blaine’s not sure what they are exactly. They’re not boyfriends, but then they’re not just friends either. They’re two people who like each other and are getting to know each other and who kiss sometimes. Something like that.

Blaine likes what they have though. Sure, if it was up to him he would be Kurt’s boyfriend already, but mostly he’s okay with taking it slow. He really just wants to do the right thing for Kurt. And he likes seeing Kurt slowly starting to relax and be comfortable around him. After the night that everything changed and Kurt finally started to open up, he seems to be slowly letting Blaine in more and more. Blaine, in turn, tries to be patient and supportive (which really isn’t all that difficult, not with Kurt) and to be as open and honest about everything that he can. And Kurt seems to appreciate that. Even though there are still moments where he seems uncertain and scared, he really does seem like he’s starting to trust Blaine. And Blaine couldn’t be happier about that.

Everything is going great, really, and Blaine is optimistic about the future.

So he doesn’t really understand what’s going on when Kurt suddenly stops answering his texts.

They’re texting each other daily by that point, mostly just silly, unimportant (sometimes flirty) texts, and sometimes a few less silly ones. Blaine loves getting Kurt’s comments or anecdotes about life at Vogue, loves discovering new sides of him.

But suddenly Kurt is no longer answering any of Blaine’s texts, nor does he send any of his own. Suddenly he’s just quiet, and Blaine doesn’t get it.

He tries calling Kurt and sends him Facebook messages, but there’s not a word from him.

It goes on for over week and Blaine really starts to worry that something has happened to him.   

Kurt, please text me back. I don’t understand what’s going on and I’m really worried about you, he texts one afternoon, desperate to get some sort of response back.

And then there’s finally a reply from Kurt.

Can I see you? I think we need to talk, it says.

Blaine’s not sure he likes the sound of that, because ‘we need to talk’ is never a good sign, at least not in any movie or TV show that Blaine has ever seen. But it’s still a text from Kurt.

Want to grab a bite after you get off work?

Okay. The usual place? I can be there at five.

Five is good. I can’t wait to see you.

Blaine doesn’t receive any more texts after that. He feels a little unsettled and worried, but he’s not exactly sure what he’s worried about. There was just something about Kurt’s texts. They reminded him of… of how it used to be in the beginning, when Kurt was still keeping him at arm’s length and mostly seemed like he didn’t want much to do with Blaine at all.

He thought they’d made some progress since then, a lot of progress actually, but suddenly he’s not so sure.

 

----

 

Blaine arrives early at the small diner that he and Kurt have visited a few times before. It’s close to where Kurt works and has been a convenient place to meet up when they’re having lunch together. Plus, they serve really great food.

Once he gets there though, he quickly discovers that the place is packed. Every table seems to be occupied and even if a table should become available before Kurt gets there it’s hardly the ideal place to talk.

Blaine makes a quick decision, and after standing in line for a while he orders a chicken salad and a couple of sandwiches to go.

He’s waiting outside the diner when Kurt arrives, looking like he’s had a long day but still so stunning that he almost takes Blaine’s breath away. Blaine smiles at him in greeting.

“Hi,” he says, holding up the contained and wrapped up food. “It’s packed in there so I ordered some things to go. I hope that’s okay, I thought maybe we could find a place to sit in the park or something.”

Kurt looks at the things that Blaine is holding up. “Okay,” he agrees. “I’ve been stuck inside all day so eating outside sounds great, actually.”

Blaine grins and tries his best to seem relaxed and to not let the worry he feels shine through. “Great. Let’s go then.”

A little while later they’re sitting next to each other on the grass with the food Blaine bought spread out between them. Blaine is eating a sandwich while Kurt is nibbling on the salad, and they haven’t really talked much. Blaine can’t help but notice how apprehensive Kurt seems. It’s obvious that he has something on his mind.

“Kurt, is something wrong?” Blaine asks finally, unable to help himself any longer. Something feels weird between them and he hates that.

Kurt is quiet for a while.

“I’m not sure,” he says finally. “I mean, I wasn’t sure.”

Blaine cleans his hands off on a napkin. “What’s do you mean? I know something must be going on since you didn’t answer my texts for over a week.”

Kurt looks down, moving his plastic fork absently around in his salad. “Yes, that was rude of me. I’m sorry. I just… I wasn’t sure what I should do.”

“Okay,” Blaine says, confused. “Do you know what to do now?”

“Yes. I think so. But I–” He looks up at Blaine, hesitating. He looks nervous, but at the same time there’s a sense of calm in Kurt’s eyes, much the same way that it’s been for the past few weeks, after the time that Kurt stayed the night at Blaine’s place. He doesn’t really seem upset, just… thoughtful. “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

“Well…” Kurt hesitates again, and then he sighs. “Apparently Rachel has been asking people about you. People at NYADA.”

Blaine just stares at him in surprise. “Why?”

“She’s just…” Kurt waves a hand in the air. “She’s very protective of me. She’s been with me through everything that’s happened and she’s worried that I’ll get hurt again. She likes you, but after you and I started to spend more time together she wanted to make sure, she said. She means well, even though her methods are a bit… over the top sometimes.”

Blaine shakes his head, trying to understand this. “So what… she doesn’t trust that I’ll treat you right?”

“I don’t know, she’s just… she’s Rachel. Believe me, I told her that I would appreciate if she didn’t do it again.”

“So she hasn’t done it before?”

Kurt looks confused. “No, why?”

“Just that… if she did it with me, I thought she might have done it before. With the other guys that you’ve been dating.”

Dating. He’s never used that word with Kurt before. Are they dating? Blaine likes to think so, but… He looks at Kurt to see how he’s reacting to the word.

But Kurt doesn’t seem to think much of it at all. He just looks steadily at Blaine.

“There haven’t been any other guys, Blaine. Not since that one serious relationship I had.”

“But you said… you said you were cautious around guys because they usually only wanted sex. So I thought…”

“I don’t have to date them to figure out what they’re after.” He sighs. “Maybe I’m a bit too harsh. But after my dad died and my boyfriend dumped me everybody told me that I should put myself out there again and eventually I did. But the guys I met either just wanted me for sex, or they mysteriously stopped answering texts and calls as soon as I’d told them about what I was going through. None of them really wanted me. I mean, that’s why I got so freaked out after you kissed me that first time. I thought I’d been wrong about you, that you were just like the others.” He smiles a bit sadly. “Anyway, after a while I just stopped trying. I went dancing at The Blue Moon instead. And I told every guy who tried to get close that I wasn’t interested. And it worked. Until you came along and just wouldn’t give up.” He gives Blaine a small smile. “My point is… that I haven’t let anyone get close. At all. Not until now. And Rachel knows that. She knows that you’re different.”

Blaine feels a bit overwhelmed after all that. He swallows. “So… did she learn something about me that you didn’t like? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Kind of, I guess. Apparently some people told her that you…” He looks down for a moment, clearly uncomfortable. “That you hook up with guys a lot.”

“What?” He practically squeals. This is ridiculous. There have been guys, yes, but none of them really mattered. Not like Kurt does. He really hopes he isn’t actually about to lose Kurt over something as silly as this.

He wants to laugh it off, but then he looks at Kurt, who’s clearly waiting for him to say something.

He sighs. “Kurt,” he says. “I like guys. I flirt a lot, I used to have crushes all the time, and yes, occasionally I’ve hooked up with people. But not since I met you. I haven’t even looked at other guys. They don’t compare to you anyway. Not at all.”

Kurt nods and smiles a little. “It’s okay, Blaine. I eventually told Rachel I didn’t care. And I don’t.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I… Blaine, I’ve been thinking a lot this week. That’s why I’ve been so quiet. I needed to figure some stuff out without any distractions and it made me realize something. I feel like… ever since we met we’ve been doing the same thing over and over again. You’ve pushed forward and I’ve held back. And we can’t keep doing that.”

“So… what are you saying?” Blaine almost doesn’t want to ask.

Kurt smiles again and sits up a little straighter. “I’m saying that I’m going to trust you. That I do trust you. You’ve given me absolutely no reason to doubt you – in fact you’ve gone out of your way to show me that you really care, and I realized this week that if we’re ever going to work out then I need to start putting all this fear behind me.”

Blaine huffs a small laugh in relief – Kurt isn’t dumping him! – and pushes himself a little closer to Kurt. “I can help you with that,” he offers with a smile.

“I’m counting on it.” Kurt’s smile turns carefully hopeful. “Rachel says that I’m unable to believe that good things can happen to me, and… I guess she’s right. But I want to change that. I want to believe.”

“So we’re good?”

“We are.” Kurt reaches a hand out and carefully takes Blaine’s, lacing their fingers together. He studies their joined hands for a moment. “I was hoping that we might be more than good, actually.”

“What do you mean?”

Kurt looks up at him and smiles, and then he leans in and kisses him, right there in the park. “Boyfriends, Blaine,” he murmurs when he pulls away. “I was hoping that we could be boyfriends.”

“Oh,” Blaine says stupidly, as he starts to realize exactly what’s going on here. Boyfriends. Him and Kurt. “I would like that,” he hurries to add, not wanting Kurt to think that he isn’t on board with the idea. He very much is. “I would like that very much.”

Kurt looks at him with amusement. “You’re adorable.”

Blaine snorts. “You know, that’s not exactly what a guy wants to hear. Handsome, maybe. Dashing. Sexy.”

Kurt giggles. He sounds almost… happy. “Okay. You’re very handsome. And all those other things as well.”

“Thank you.” Blaine leans in, and then they’re kissing again, neither caring much for who might be watching. “And you’re still the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen.”

They spend the rest of the afternoon right there in the park, talking, kissing, holding hands. Laughing.

Being boyfriends.

It’s the best afternoon of Blaine’s entire life.

 

----

 

The following months are the happiest time of Blaine’s life. He and Kurt spend just about every available moment together and slowly they both start to learn more about each other.

Blaine learns that Kurt used to be in his high school’s glee club and that a lot of the people from the club are still his closest friends. He learns that Kurt sees his stepmother Carole and his stepbrother Finn as family, and that he spends every holiday with them, even though he finds it difficult to go back to his old house without his father there. He learns that Kurt is good with cars, after having spent countless hours in his dad’s tire shop growing up.

He also learns that Kurt is a good cook, that his favorite movie is Moulin Rouge, and that he likes to cuddle after sex.

They go back to The Blue Moon a couple of times, and it’s so different, being there as Kurt’s boyfriend. Because now they’re really there together, and even if the way they spend all night dancing isn’t so different from how it was before, Kurt is. The way he looks at Blaine now is enough to almost take Blaine’s breath away, and the way he smiles and holds on to Blaine when they dance is such a far cry from how it used to be. He’s almost possessive in the way he’s kissing Blaine and making sure that everyone in the room knows that they’re both very much taken.

A large part of the summer is spent apart due to the fact that Blaine got a summer job in Ohio and Kurt only has a couple of weeks off from Vogue and is spending most of the summer in New York. But they do get some time together, enough time for Kurt to meet Blaine’s parents and for Blaine to meet Carole and Finn.

And then Kurt tells Blaine that he wants to introduce him to his parents.

Blaine feels strangely nervous when they enter the cemetery hand in hand one sunny August afternoon. It’s not like he’s actually going to meet Kurt’s parents, but it still feels like an important moment because he knows that these are the two people who have meant the most to Kurt. They may have passed away, but they still live on through Kurt and maybe it’s silly, but Blaine really wants to make a good impression. He wants them to think that he’s good enough for Kurt. And it’s not like he’s ever going to know what they actually think, but still. He just wants to be what Kurt deserves.

Burt and Elizabeth Hummel are buried side by side in a quiet corner of the cemetery. Kurt seems to clutch Blaine’s hand tighter the closer they come to the graves, and Blaine squeezes his hand in return. Kurt confessed to him earlier that coming to the cemetery is hard for him, that even though he likes to come there to talk to his parents, it’s also difficult because it reminds him that they really are gone.

Kurt finally slows to a halt in front of two beautiful headstones, one clearly newer than the other, with Kurt parents’ names and the dates of their birth and death in elegant lettering. There are relatively fresh flowers on both graves, and Kurt puts the bouquets he’s brought down next to them.

“Hi mom, dad,” he says quietly, arranging the flowers to his liking. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here in a while. Life in New York is just busy. But I think about you all the time.”

He settles himself cross-legged on the grass in front of the two graves and motions for Blaine to do the same. Blaine sits down and reaches over to link his fingers with Kurt’s again, their joined hands resting on top of Kurt’s leg.

Kurt turns to him and smiles a little before he looks at the graves again.

“I want you to meet someone,” he says. “Someone pretty special.” He brushes a thumb over Blaine’s knuckles. “This is Blaine. He’s my boyfriend.”

Blaine doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to hear Kurt call him that without feeling that rush of warmth go through him. It’s such a big thing to be that for Kurt, to know that Kurt trusts him enough now to let him be his boyfriend. Not only because Blaine knows that it’s taken a lot for Kurt to get to this point, but because it’s a big deal to himself as well. He’s never been in love like this, never had a boyfriend that he could actually see himself spending the rest of his life with. It’s almost scary when he starts to think about it, but then he’s just too happy these days to be scared of anything.

He doesn’t know if Kurt actually expects him to say anything or not, so he keeps quiet and lets Kurt do the talking.

“Blaine is… persistent,” Kurt says, with fond amusement in his voice. “As much as I tried to act like I wasn’t interested in him when we first met, he didn’t give up. And in the end I couldn’t resist.”

He looks at Blaine with a smile on his face. Blaine just shrugs and grins. Of course he wasn’t going to give up. He never does when he really wants something.

And this was Kurt.

“Anyway,” Kurt continues, his smile fading, though there’s still that softness in his eyes. “He’s good for me. Because of him I’m living again. I wake up in the morning looking forward to the day. I finally applied to Parsons and I got in. I’m actually happy again. I never thought I would be.”

 

 

Blaine swallows, hearing Kurt speak. He knew that Kurt was lost, that he was in a bad place before, but he never realized how much of a change he’s made in Kurt’s life. Somehow he didn’t realize until now that maybe he’s come to mean as much to Kurt as Kurt does to him.

He leans forward a little, focusing on the two headstones in front of him. “Your son is the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me,” he says earnestly. “You should be very proud of him.”

Kurt looks at him with eyes that are shining with tears. “See what I mean?” he says with a helpless shrug, smiling through the tears. “He’s too charming. I never stood a chance.”

Blaine grins and kisses Kurt’s temple. Kurt leans into him a little.

“So mom, dad… you better like him. Because I don’t think I’m letting him go.”

“You better not,” Blaine whispers.

A while later they’re exiting the cemetery and walking to the car (Burt’s old one, that Kurt and Finn now own), which is parked close by. Kurt is quiet as they walk, hand warm in Blaine’s hand. Blaine looks at him.

“Are you okay?”

Kurt nods. “I am, actually. It’s always difficult to come here, but I’m okay. It helps that you’re here.”

“I’m glad.”

They reach the car and Kurt turns around, leaning his back against the door on the driver’s side. He looks at Blaine with such warmth in his eyes. “You’re making me smile again,” he says softly, almost out of the blue.

Blaine smiles too, and finally utters the words that have been on the tip of his tongue for what seems like forever now. “I love you.”

Kurt looks steadily at him. He doesn’t look surprised or taken off guard. It’s almost as if he expected those words. Like he already knows.

“I love you, too.” Kurt’s voice is steady and sure.

“Really?”

Blaine is surprised. He knows that Kurt cares about him, maybe even loves him, but for him to say it, after everything that he’s been through and all the people he’s lost, is huge. It brings tears to Blaine’s eyes, even though he’s not a person who cries very often.

“Yes, really,” Kurt says softly, kissing him lightly. “I wouldn’t say something like that unless I mean it.”

“I know, I’m just a little overwhelmed. I mean, you’re so incredible and I’m just... just a regular guy.”

Kurt arches his eyebrows. “Are you questioning my taste in men?”

Blaine quickly shakes his head. “Of course not. I’m very happy that you like smaller guys with untamable hair and way too much energy. That totally works for me.”

Kurt looks amused. “Good. It works for me, too.” His expression turns earnest. “Thank you. For never giving up, even when I didn’t give you much in return.”

Blaine just looks at him. “I would never give up on you,” he says earnestly.

Kurt nods, looking like he believes it, and that’s the biggest thing to Blaine. That Kurt trusts him. Believes in him. Believes that he’ll be there.

And he will. For as long as Kurt lets him.

They drive back to Kurt’s house, sharing quick, private smiles across the small space of the car. Blaine feels relaxed, content and so happy, so certain in the knowledge of what he and Kurt now have.

And when Your Song comes on the radio, it seems like the most natural thing in the world.

It’s only right that they should sing this song together today, when the world is beautiful and the future seems brighter than ever before.

I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

The End.