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Okay, maybe getting punted in the stomach isn't the best way to first meet a guy, but Kris has always been a sucker for pretty boys with pretty hair- especially those with vibrant colors. She might be a little of a creep, staring at a beautiful stranger, but he might just be the most beautiful thing she's ever seen. His hair is more sleek than the aerodynamic feathers of any Pokemon she's ever seen before, but at the same time, it looks soft like the warming sun on a spring day. She's such a sucker for great hair; it's always been hard for her to take care of herself beauty-wise, and her hair is no exception.
It's a shame that he thinks she's a creep too, because damn does he have a powerful kick. And is that a stolen Pokéball hanging from his pocket?
His hair doesn't smell like anything in the brief second that he comes near her, but then again, a second isn't enough for her love-stricken senses to recover. She sees the glimpse of a name- "Silver" and then passes out thinking about how that's a pretty dumb name.
When the police ask her for a spelled name, she lies. She spends her walk home repeating the letters of his name- it feels almost wrong, counter-intuitive to not give his name. She hopes nothing bad'll happen.
"I'm sorry."
"You should be."
She's a total creep, but she's still the tiniest bit happy that she gets to spend more time with him. Oh, Kris knows it's entirely her fault that they're both dripping wet and hiding in some stupid, uncomfortable cave from- she does have a guilty conscience, and she's sorry that Silver has to spend more time with someone he totally doesn't like- but some part of her is just giddy. Almost like a schoolgirl with a crush.
Huh. A crush. It'd almost be exactly what she's experiencing, except she's more interested in his hair than anything. Silver is probably the person with the shittiest personality she's ever met in her life, although she's liked horrible people before. It's just that even though he has a pretty face, his hair is just so much more...alluring. Kris can almost imagine just threading her fingers through his damp hair, feeling the coolness travel a thin path across her hand.
"Uh."
Kris snaps out of it and quickly straightens up. It's probably really obvious that she's been staring at his hair. Silver looks so weirded out.
At least she hasn't tried to touch his hair yet- the temptation is almost too overpowering sometimes. She brings her hands closer to herself and hopes that Silver won't bring up her creepiness. Her ears are burning. When she glances to the side and sees Silver still staring at her, Kris lowers her head further down and lets her hair block Silver's view of her face. It's so embarrassing. She's such a creep. He'll probably never want to talk to her ever again. Not that he wanted to in the first place, or that they've even talked before. For some reason that she doesn't know, a little whimper escapes her at the thought. Maybe Silver didn't hear it- or maybe Silver would be even a little nice?
"If you're cold, then don't follow a random stranger in the rain."
Nice is definitely not happening, she thinks. Kris sighs a little- at least she won't fall in love with the guy, that's for sure. She loosens up a little, glad for the reality check. The guy's a bastard and he won't ever like her, reason enough to stop being tense around him. Pretty guys make her do weird things, but assholes bring her back down to earth.
Sadly enough, Silver doesn't take this to be as much a conversation stopper as she does.
"Why did you even follow me? You just burst out of a fucking café and ran after me!"
What is she even supposed to say? His beautiful hair charmed the fuck out of her and she wants to know his secret? And why did she even run?
"I think I've fallen in love with your hair."
And then she groans out loud. And then smiles, because she's a nervous smiler and she's always hated that about herself.
She doesn't even like the guy, let that be clear. The guy's a criminal! He's wanted by Elm for the theft of a rare starter Pokémon. He kicked her in the stomach when they first met! He doesn't even know her! He...
He looks really cute when he's caught off guard. Even his teeth are perfectly straight and white when his mouth is agape with shock. Sure, he might be really pale, but it's not sickly pale on him, unlike it is on her. He's just...really beautiful. And his hair, hardened by cold rain, follows his shoulders as they droop down. His eyebrows aren't nearly as impressive as his hair- even though they're also vibrantly red, his brows are a little sparsely spaced. It looks kind of adorable on him.
She's still smiling, but she's sure it looks more admiring than nervous and she hates that about herself. Sure, the guy is nicely put together- really nicely put together- but she should have a little more tact, shouldn't she?
And when Silver just stands up and runs out into the rain soon after, Kris doesn't run after him.
Oh god, she's such a creep to like hair as much as this.
"You again? You take the left and I'll get the right."
"Got it."
He is beautiful while fighting. Although she can't get too distracted, as she has to beat up some grunts on her own, she can't help up notice the way his hair falls into his eyes when he's determined. He tilts his head a little, then steadies himself before sending out his Golbat, who swoops out frenzied.
Kris smiles a little to herself, then stops herself when she catches it. Bad Kris, bad.
"Hey, creep, stop staring at me and kick their asses."
She's been caught; she blushes and turns back- but maybe she's a sucker for more embarrassment, because she screams back:
"My name's Kris!"
She isn't sure what his reaction is to that, because as soon as she's done battling the grunts, she turns around and finds that he's left. The grunts he fought all ran away a long time ago.
It feels kind of lonely.
He never calls her Kris. She's not even sure if he heard last time, so she brings it up again.
"I heard."
"Ah. Um. Okay then."
The awkwardness increases tenfold, but Kris is still happy that he hasn't left. If she glances at him, she can glimpse the glow of the morning sun highlighting his hair, can see the way his little hair spikes on the back of his head swish in tandem with the rest of his head.
It's cute, but for some reason, she hates the sight of it when Silver quickly calls on his Crobat and flies away.
When Silver smiles, it's an ugly thing. Sardonic, cruel, mocking- but somehow, she wants to see it again. Wants him to only direct that towards her. It's a creepy thought, but Kris is a creepy and horrible person. If Silver is a punishment, then Kris needs him. So when they meet again in front of the Elite Four, and Silver challenges her to one last battle, she almost doesn't want to win.
Silver's losses have always been accompanied by denial, bad attitude, and spewed angry insults. But this time, Silver closes his eyes. Hums for one second. Then opens them again.
"You may have won again, creepy stalker. But I'll get better. You're a good trainer, but I'll be better."
"So you're here on Tuesdays and Thursdays, huh?"
A glance at her. His Crobat narrows its eyes at Kris, although Silver rolls his eyes and points at a nearby rock, which Crobat dutifully smashes. Silver's used to her weirdness by now. It's not much of a comforting thought, when her strangeness was the only thing that set her apart. Kris sits down on the dry dirt floor, watching the path her dragged sneakers make.
"You're the weirdest stalker I've ever had."
Not his only one, she knows. From Team Rocket trying to keep an eye on him, to the police constantly watching him on parole. So much time has passed, but nothing's really changed.
Except for how she's always longing to see him again. It scares her, more than a little, to think of a world without him. If he left without a goodbye. Even if he left with a goodbye- she doesn't want to go down this path of thinking, but if he left then she'd....Yeah.
"Ha. Yeah. Yeah...."
She doesn't meet his eyes. She watches the clouds outside drift slowly along, sees the leaves and petals float without a hurry. The world moves slowly, but steadily, without them. Without her. She'll never get the chance to tell him.
She turns around, looks back at this man who she's been enamored with for the past nine years, sees his hair harshly bound up in a crude ponytail and sees the worn lines of stress around his eyes.
Then opens her mouth.
"If you ever left, I would follow you. To the depths of the world."
It's a creepy line to say, but that's just what she is. Creepy. Kris feels the path of a tear run down her face, then can't stop the empty feeling of soft trickles down her cheekbones. It's damning. The world can live on without Kris, but Kris needs the world to keep her grounded.
Behind her, Silver's movements don't stutter. He doesn't even spare a look at her; he grimaces, then instructs Crobat back to its Pokeball.
"And I'll make sure I leave nothing behind for you to follow."
It breaks her heart, just a little, as he brushes past her, into a world that would leave her behind.
Maybe it's the depression, or the self-loathing, or honestly, the lack of desire to live anymore, but Kris waits at the Dragon's Den with a foreboding sense of doom. She has on her finest clothes, has none of her Pokemon with her, and from her reflection in the water on her way over here, she looks suitably morbid.
She can't fall asleep.
She stares at Silver when he arrives, exactly at midnight. Silver raises his eyebrows, and walks in anyway, ignoring his visitor.
It hurts so much- she's not sure what, but something hurts. Something feels wrong, empty.
She can't bring herself to say the words, so when Silver leaves at the start of Wednesday, she starts crying again.
Something is wrong, something is horribly wrong- but her face is impassive and she's lost everything besides the dull roar of emptiness.
"I'm dying," she finally manages to say after waiting at midnight for him seven times in a row.
Silver manages to stop training for a moment- his Magneton levitates in confusion, wondering why his trainer has stopped. Silver, unexpectedly, walks over to Kris, stands in front of her. He has a small frown on his face.
"Is that so?"
She isn't sure what he's feeling- in fact, she's not even sure what she's feeling. For the first time in months, she cracks a sad smile, feels the muscles around her eyes tingle from their lack of use recently.
She wonders if sorrow really does make people beautiful, and wonders if for once, something'll happen. Silver's bad attitude has always made him beautiful, but Kris has nothing about her.
Recently, she's taken to crying with a blank face. Sometimes it'll pop out when she's buying bread from a bakery- the cashiers are never sure how to respond when a customer starts crying while looking apathetic.
Kris would shrug if she could muster the effort to.
"I think."
"Oh."
And that's how it goes. She stares at him until he looks away, drinks in his image. Is he still beautiful? What has changed and what hasn't, and how much more is the world going to change?
It might take him some time to snap out of it, but Silver continues with his Magneton anyway, apparently free from any lingering thoughts. In a way it's comforting- she knows at this point that he vaguely cares about her, due to their extended acquaintanceship. Maybe the lack of extreme attachment on his part will make this whole ordeal easier for him. He won't be sad when she leaves.
For the first time in months, she feels light. The world will change and go on without her, despite her wishes.
And even if it'll be nice for Silver to remember her, if he can find happiness in forgetting, she wishes wholeheartedly happiness for him too.
"I think it'll be soon."
It's the most she's said to him in months. Sure, they still spend Tuesdays and Thursday together- mostly ignoring on Silver's part- but they haven't talked at all. Occasionally they've battled, but even that's been without communication of words. Her own Pokemon are sensing her sluggishness, her apathy, her condition, and fight for her out of concern.
It's almost like the denaturation of a protein. The primary structure'll still be there, but it'll never return back to its full glory, never able to regain its purpose. She can feel it in her soul.
He pauses again. Looks at her. Glances up and down her body. Looks at the cave ceiling, dripping water.
Kris smiles- and even she can feel that it's full of love. She loves Silver so much, awkward Silver, who refuses to call her by her real name even though it's been ten years, who personally covers his Typhlosion with his jacket whenever it rains.
She just wants him to be happy. And so when she cries, she does so with a giggle. Silver turns her way.
They stare at each other, the world versus death.
The week after, Silver brings a bottle of water and places it right next to Kris before practicing.
Kris has her doubts, but maybe he's actually concerned.
Three hours later, when she finally picks up the water bottle, she finds that she can't move to open it. Her body physically won't accept the command.
Moments later, Silver's shadow looms over her. He holds his hand out. Kris, with some effort, wrinkles her forehead in what she hopes to be a questioning matter. Silver huffs lightly and glances at the water bottle pointedly.
It takes her some effort, but Kris hands the bottle over to Silver and cherishes the way her fingers linger against his before there's nothing left she can cherish.
"How much did...did you love me?" Silver asks the night before she dies.
Kris can feel herself losing her autonomy- although she can still walk on her own volition, pretty much any interaction is impossible now. Just yesterday, she could see her hand flicker and out of existence when she tried to reach for the wattle bottle that Silver now opened for her every time.
She's not sure how much longer she'll be alive, but when she goes, she wants it to be when Silver'll be hurt the least.
She can hardly speak anymore. She can't speak her own thoughts anymore, and she has no preset options for speech except for only one. So with all her might, she quirks her lip and mouths:
"S-I-L-V-E-R. S-I-L-V-E-R...S...I....L-V...E-R."
Silver doesn't look like he gets it, but Kris is sure that he'll get it one day. Speaking of the man, his hair is especially well-done today; it looks all fluffy and soft and Kris loves him so much it hurts. Loves him so much that the only speech option she has left is spelling out his name. Loves, not loved, not past tense.
Silver goes to sit next to her, some distance away, on the cold dirt floor under the light of the moon. Kris hopes with all her heart that he'll move closer, and for once, Silver does. Any other hopes, like touching his hair or holding his hand, remains unvoiced and impossible.
After some time- she isn't sure of the time recently, anymore- he speaks up. She can't even control herself enough to look at him, can't even reach over to rub his tears away.
"Kris. K-R-I-S. K-R-I-S."
He probably doesn't realize that she can't say anything else, but it's a touching gesture nonetheless. If she could smile and laugh and love him, then she would. But instead, she spends her last night with him staring at the stars, unable to say anything besides the letters of his name.
"Crobat, use Cut."
She almost can't register much anymore, but she feels something soft and silky placed in her hand.
"Kris. Kris. I..."
Silence.
"I won't take too much, but let me have this, please. Crobat, use Cut again."
A little gentle breeze envelops her head, and suddenly her head is a little lighter. A shuffling noise and then not much else.
There's something cold and wet on her face- she's not sure if it's her own tears, if it's his, or if it's a goodbye kiss, but either way, it's not enough.
If you don't leave, is it possible that I wouldn't disappear?
It's a pleading question that Kris desperately wants to ask, if even for the selfish reason of not being left alone to die. But Silver comes and Silver goes, so when Friday comes and he is gone, the world leaves Kris behind completely.
She won't exist anymore. All this regret and love in her heart for this man, this man that'll forget about her, for the man that'll have two new rivals and a whole new world. And it won't be there anymore.
But maybe the world she's created out of her love was worth it.