Chapter Text
1: Scent
Rin had never really noticed how wary to touch his roommate really was. To be honest, he didn’t really notice the little things about Nitori, not up until recently anyway. At first, he would occasionally raise his eyebrow whenever his kohai flinches backwards every time Rin walks into him changing his clothes. He would understand it if it was him being flustered, but then his gut told him that there was something more. Other times, when their skins accidentally touch, he watched Nitori’s expression shift between anxiety and longing.
He also hasn’t noticed up until now how early Nitori leaves from swim practice. On some nights, he would go back to the room past curfew. Normally, he would reason out with himself that maybe the younger boy would have wanted to have a head start on his homework and had taken it to library. Or maybe he exercises his leg muscles even more by jogging before going back to the room they shared together.
On most nights, Nitori and he would get along just fine. Nitori would more often than not ask Rin to run with him whenever he intended on doing so. And on some occasions, Nitori would ask help from him regarding his homework in which case Rin would appear irritated, was glad to help. Nitori would ask about random things, like how his day went, did he enjoy that day’s lunch special, his friends in Iwatobi, and Rin would answer with the same nonchalance or indifference. Rin would in turn, ask from time to time about what his underclassman has been up to lately, and he would watch his kohai’s face shift from happy and comfortable, to something unreadable. It was the cue for Rin to drop the subject.
And there would come nights that Rin didn’t like at all. His roommate would just stay deathly quiet, and he doesn’t know what to do in the uncomfortable silence. Every time he looked at him, he looked so fragile, like a porcelain doll that would break at any infliction of the slightest of pressures. He didn’t want to hurt the boy, and Rin had convinced himself that it would be better if he would leave Nitori to deal with his own business. He wasn’t the type of person to nose around other people’s lives anyway. He reasoned out with himself that since Nitori was the more talkative one of the pair, maybe he would go to that eventually.
But as time passed, he grew more and more impatient. Nitori’s behavior had gotten worse. Days have morphed into weeks, and before Rin knew it, his lovable kohai had turned into something he barely recognized. Rin noticed that his grades, which were phenomenal before, had started dropping bit by bit. He smiled less. He ate less. He either wanted to be alone, or would fiercely cling to Rin’s side as if his life depended on it.
It had led to numerous confrontations, with Rin leaving most of the time angry because he hadn’t expect Nitori to be too stubborn, too closed with the situation. It would leave him confused and frustrated. Was he not the type that could be trusted? Or does Nitori not have confidence that Rin might be able to help him? Whatever it was, Rin didn’t think about it for long. Out of impulse, he would just walk out of their shared room, leaving Nitori hunched over with a fistful of hair.
After a fight that had him punched the wall till his knuckles were raw and in pain, Rin had always made it a point to wait for Nitori’s arrival, no matter how tired he was, no matter how late it would have gotten. He would try pry with his business, asking him where he went and he was always met with different poor-thought excuses that Rin didn’t believe. He would pester, and even shout at his kohai, to no avail. Numerous times, he had gotten mad at his kohai, but just one look from Nitori’s face made his resolve crack. If the boy was near to tears, he would allow him to sleep after the questions. Needless to say, Nitori was happy about that.
A particular Friday night pulled in, and Rin was anxious. It was getting rather late for his taste and the boy wasn’t back yet. The latest time that he had gotten back to their room was a few minutes past 11. Needless to say, Rin wasn’t happy about that. He gave a good scolding, and had managed to loop the kohai into promising that that would be the last time that he was late. The wall clocked ticked by the second, and every minute Rin found himself checking what time it was. 12:56. Where the fuck is he? Nitori wasn’t answering his phone, and Rin’s phone had already been thrown to the wall a couple of minutes ago. He couldn’t just sit there and wait for him; he had to look for Nitori.
He got up from where he was seated and grabbed his phone. He tried to assemble all the parts in an attempt to revive his phone, in hopes that he might be able to contact Nitori again, but his phone suffered major damage, and was therefore left behind. In the back of his mind, he made a mental note to somehow contact Gou so that she would know that his phone was in need of a replacement one; one that would be extra durable for it to endure most of his outbursts. He grabbed a flashlight, and then headed over to the door. He closed it; making sure that the room was locked, he set out to find his roommate.
He had jogged around the campus grounds, going randomly from place to place, when he suddenly heard splashes coming from the gym. Rin approached the gym as fast as he could, wanting to confirm his suspicions. Relief flooded into the body of the redhead as echoes of waters lapping tiled floors filled his ears. It had not once crossed his mind that this wasn’t his kohai. Who else would do fucking laps at 1 in the fucking morning?! He treaded his steps with force, almost going into a full run if it wasn’t for the fact that he wanted to be stealthy with his approach. He didn’t want Nitori to find out that he was already on to him.
He pushed passed the glass doors of the gym. The relief that he had just come to grasp was pulled suddenly from the tips of his fingers without warning. He could feel the blood from his face to drain, a cold chill snaking its way down his spine. He didn’t know what he was watching. He didn’t want to know what he was watching. Rin had this strong urge to look away, to say to himself that this was all a bad dream and that it can’t be his kohai, it shouldn’t be Nitori. His red orbs were fixated with the lone pale figure doing lap after lap under the moonlight. Nitori swam, with frantic strokes that almost looked as graceless as a drowning dolphin with half the speed he usually took pride in. The boy was obviously tired, and incoherent squeaks came out of his mouth. It looked to Rin like he was having a panic attack in the water, a very precise panic attack that propelled Nitori to keep moving forward despite his body’s protest.
“Nitori!” Rin shouted, which made the boy grab for the edge nearest to him.
¬ “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” He shouted. He took long strides towards the boy. Immediately, he could see the boy flinch and reel away from him, way to not spook him, but he was too pissed to care. He grabs a towel from one of the benches and approaches Nitori, who had managed to calm himself down. He reached out a hand toward him, with a waiting towel to the other. Nitori did nothing but stare at him like a deer in the headlights.
“What? You swim for a couple of hours and already forgot how to get out?”
Nitori flushed at the statement. He reluctantly grabbed for the towel first, but Rin’s free hand intercepted. He tugged Nitori out of the pool with his own force for good measure, before balancing him by holding onto the small of his back. The boy collapsed in his arms the moment they collided, with him burying his head on the crook of his senpai’s neck.
“I’m s-sorry. I-I’m sorry. I’m sor-ry.” Nitori kept muttering over and over again. His voice was shaking and he gripped onto his senpai’s shirt for support.
“What the hell are you talk-“ Rin cut himself short when he felt that Nitori was shaking rather too violently for his liking.
“How long have you been in there, Ai?” Rin asks, wrapping the towel over Nitori’s small frame. He guides the both of them to a nearby bench where he sits himself. He started to position Nitori to sit by his side, but the boy clung to him, so he just set him on his thigh.
“W-what time is i-it?” Nitori asks. Rin gritted his teeth.
“We gotta get you back to the room.”
Judging by the fact that it was obvious that Nitori was trying to stop him teeth from chattering, Rin estimated that he was under the water for hours, 3-4 hours, most probably. He knew how tiring that was; he himself had done that a couple of times back when he was in Australia. But after he found out about the consequences of being submerged that long, he stopped training that long without taking breaks in between.
Rin didn’t want to risk it, so he had carried Nitori in his arms, and quickly took off to their room. The walk back was silent, apart from the smaller of the two finally giving in and letting his teeth chatter. Rin gritted his teeth and hugged the boy closer to his body.
When they got to their room, Rin was very antsy. He didn’t know what he was going to do now that Nitori was already with him. It wasn’t until Nitori had called his attention to ask permission to go take a shower. He had wanted to bathe Nitori himself, but had allowed the boy to do it on his own when he practically pleaded for him to do it. Rin wasn’t pleased, and Nitori was aware of that. So when he got out of the shower, he allowed Rin to dry his hair.
Nitori fell asleep immediately after he had his bath, which made Rin all the more frustrated. What the hell was happening to him? He decided that he would ask Nitori tomorrow. He won’t fall for those blue-grey orbs staring at him. It was for his kohai’s own good anyway that he was prodding. And whatever it takes, he’ll get to the bottom of this. He’ll get Nitori back.
It was around 7 in the morning when the sun was perfectly positioned to hit Rin’s eyes. He tried to shake the sleep from his eyes, reminding himself of the impending task that he had set out for himself. Rin still didn’t quite figure out why he was doing this yet, but his mind had forced itself to shift on something more important. He felt his stomach churn in protest. It was time for breakfast. He laid on his back, and stared at the mattress that was occupied by his kohai. The thoughts of the events of that morning were still fresh in the redhead male’s memory, and it had been one of the most disturbing things he had ever seen in his life. The way that Nitori moved through the water felt so unnatural, and the expression that he had on was enough for Rin’s stomach to do flips. He never wanted to see him like that ever again.
‘The kid must be hungry.’
He coaxed his body to stand up, despite its protest to fully wake up, or its wishes to go back to sleep. He had softly called his kohai’s name, but when he got no response, he checked the top bunk to see if he was still asleep.
The same gush of adrenaline had filled his body and he was now fully awake. Nitori was gone! Immediately he had scrambled out of the room and ran to the pool, only to find it empty. Dammit, Ai! He ran back to where he had come from, when suddenly he felt the ground being pulled from underneath him. His vision was blurry, and it took him seconds to focus on the hand that was outstretched to him.
“You train too hard.” The voice of his captain resonated in his ears.
He eyed the hand with spite, but took it anyway. “I wasn’t training. Have you seen Nitori?”
His captain eyed him suspiciously. “No. Not since yesterday. Why? Is there something wrong?”
Rin’s eyes widened for a second. “Nothing’s wrong. He just wasn’t in the room when I woke up.”
A grin had plastered itself on Seijuurou’s face. “Oh? Miss him already?” He was answered by a menacing glare from the redhead.
The captain chuckled at his swimmer. Sometimes, the guy can’t be honest with himself, and Seijuurou doesn’t know whether or not to sympathize with him, or to take advantage of it while he still could.
“Anyway, do you know what happened to him? He seemed down these couple of days.” Seijuurou asked Rin.
Rin stared at his captain for a few seconds. When he had deemed that he meant no harm, he comments. “It’s been going on for weeks.”
It had been a flash of something. Was it worry? It passed by Rin’s usual cold eyes so fast that Seijuurou even thought that he was imagining it. But something told him that a pocket of vulnerability had showed itself before being masked with the usual tough exterior that his swimmer usually portrays. Was he worried about his underclassman that much?
“Guess the kid has talent in hiding things. You think he doesn’t handle rejection well?” He tried to joke, hoping to make light of the situation.
Rin scowled. Apparently, he took it the wrong way. “He hasn’t confessed to me. Don’t say it like it’s my fault.”
“Who said anything about you?” He smirked.
“Tch. Quit joking, will you?”
“Well, I’m not. What if the kid’s heartbroken or something and he just didn’t want to bother you with his problems?”
Rin was silent. He wanted to reason out with Seijuurou that this was different. Rin knew firsthand what it felt like to get heartbroken, and he was sure as hell that it wasn’t the case for Nitori. Still, his captain’s words cut through his heart like a searing knife on butter. His mind started playing with the idea, and suddenly his mind was muddled with a string of unanswered questions, most of which concerning about his kohai.
What if it was heartbreak? What if there was someone special in Nitori’s life? His heart clenched involuntarily. He didn’t want to think about that. Rin wanted to snap out of it. He wasn’t supposed to be affected by that, and it was Nitori’s business, right? He shouldn’t even care this much, right? Question after question pop into Rin’s head and slowly he was getting overwhelmed. For how long? Why did the underclassman keep it from him? Was there anything that Rin could have helped with if he did? But one question had Rin shove away his thoughts for him to dwell on. What if that person had hurt him? A wave of anger coursed through his veins at the thought of someone hurting his kohai.
‘No one.’ His mind thought to itself as he struggles to keep his rage under wraps.
“Why are you even affected, anyway? Oh don’t tell me-” Seijuurou cut himself short. He could see that Rin wasn’t really listening to him. A knowing smile crossed his lips.
‘Well, it’s like that now, is it? I only just said that he might have; now he’s got his knickers in a twist.’ The captain thought playfully, as he watched Rin’s expression change frequently.
“Have you ever taken the time to listen to what he had to say?” He asked, knocking his elbows on Rin’s arm to get his attention. He was met by the shark-themed boy’s hard gaze, as if he wasn’t pleased with the question.
“See? There you go.” Seijuurou said after he took Rin’s silence as an answer.
“I listen.” Rin says, almost in a whisper, averting his eyes from his captain.
“What was that?” His captain taunts.
Rin glared at him with a fierce passion. Had he not have enough stress for one morning? “I listen to him! More than you know. So, stop saying that I don’t give two shits about him!”
Rin’s rage was met with the captain’s Cheshire-like grin. They had stared at each other like that for a few seconds before Seijuro watched Rin’s eyes grow wide.
‘It’s about damn time.’ Samezuka’s captain thought as he congratulated himself on what he considered as a victory. He placed a hand on his swimmer’s shoulder.
“You’re welcome.” He says before he started walking away.
“O-oi! You didn’t help at all!” Rin tried to call back, trying not to succumb to the heat that was slowly engulfing his cheeks.
The captain stopped in his tracks and smiled. He turned back to Rin. “Take him out on a date first before doing anything else!” He cackled, before resuming his jog.
Rin decided to go back to the room, in hopes that Nitori would have returned by then. It had been no less than 2 hours since he woke up and found that his kohai wasn’t in the room with him. He had been agitated since, and the conversation he had with his captain didn’t ease his thoughts one bit. In fact, he added to the things that Rin was thinking about. He didn’t have a reason why care for Nitori, he just does. Sure, the kid had been a little obnoxious at first, but over time, he had developed a sweet spot for the little shota swimmer.
He had gone to the convenience store to buy some breakfast for them. He had grabbed some of the melon bread that Nitori seemed to like and two bottles of water. All the while, Seijuurou’s words still echoed through his mind. Was it really heartbreak? Nitori almost shared most of his thoughts with Rin, so why withhold this trivial thing from him? That was what they were fighting about all this time? An unfamiliar emotion washed through his senses that made him grip the bag of bread that he carried with him.
He sighed through his nose. He hasn’t even noticed that he stopped midway from opening his door. He was too pre-occupied with his thoughts. Rin had once again shoved these thoughts aside and deemed them as irrelevant at the moment, and that it would all make sense once he knew what was going on with his roommate. He was about to open the room, when he heard soft sobs coming from the inside of the room.
“Nitori.” He whispers, after opening the door.
“W-welcome back, Matsuok-ka-senpai.” Nitori tries to say amidst teary eyes. Rin stopped in front of the door frame and eyed the boy. His legs were almost curled into half a fetal position and his eyes were puffy from crying. He had a shirt on that was too big for him and a pair of pajamas. Most of his torso was covered by a pillow he was clutching on for dear life.
“I’m s-sorry. I fell asleep here in y-your bed. It’s just th-that it smelled l-like you.” Nitori said, a noticeable blush going about his cheeks.
Rin didn’t mind that his kohai was staying in his bed. In fact, he wasn’t really entirely sure how he should feel about that. He entered the room and placed the bread and bottles of water on the desk near his bed.
“You like how I smell?” Rin asked.
If it was possible for the smaller boy to blush harder, he already would have. “I-it makes me feel safe. I-I’m sorry for the inconvenience, senpai.”
Rin felt his cheeks heat up upon hearing his kohai’s words. His eyes wandered around the room, trying to get his bearings together. He tried not to look at his kohai, but he always seemed to find himself staring at him. Nitori was repositioning himself in the bed, trying to put more space, as if giving an open invitation for Rin to join him in bed. The shirt was cascading slowly from his body, and Rin thought that it, together with Nitori’s expression was endearing. And the fact that he was in Rin’s bed made it all the more. But something made Rin do a double take.
Cautiously, he sat beside the underclassman. Like he expected, Nitori flinched at the contact, it was a small movement back, but it went unnoticed to his red, peering orbs. But it wasn’t like the other times where he would flinch with anxiety. He observed that the boy was just surprised at the gesture, not really expecting Rin to take the invitation.
He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. Nitori’s blue-grey eyes stared up at him with expectation, and all the more Rin couldn’t form coherent words in his mind.
“Ai.” He finally starts after a few seconds. He gently laid down his hand onto the teen’s shoulder, before guiding the falling material further down his arm. Instinctively, Nitori tried to cover it, but Rin was having none of it. The longer he stared at Nitori’s shoulder, the more his scowl deepened.
“S-senpai.” Nitori tried to protest, his left hand already trying to pry through his senpai’s fist.
“I-it’s nothing!”
Rin was practically glowering. He gritted his teeth. Seijuro was wrong. This was more than heartbreak, and sure as hell this was more than jealousy like his captain perceived. Rin placed his free hand on top of Nitori’s frantic ones. He was trying to pry his senpai’s hands away from his sleeve, but he wasn’t trying to move away, and that in itself was a red flag.
“Where were you this morning?” Rin asked, trying hard to keep his voice leveled.
“Sen-senpai, this is nothing. P-please let go o-of me.” Rin could see that a new batch of tears was threatening to cascade over Nitori’s cheeks once more. He wanted to feel sorry for the boy, but he also thought that it was time that he got some answers out of him.
“I don’t think a big bruise on your pale skin is nothing. Now, answer my question.”
He saw that Nitori couldn’t handle this anymore. The boy was silently sobbing in front of him, his hand clutching Rin’s hand fiercely. He told himself that he wouldn’t let himself cave, but Rin nonetheless enveloped him in a hug in an attempt to calm the boy.
“I’m-I’m sorry! I-I didn’t kn-know!” Nitori tried to say in between sobs.
Rin enveloped the boy in a proper hug and started rubbing circles on the small of his back.
“Ai.” He said gently. He could feel the boy bury his head deeper in the crook of his neck.
“Where were you this morning?” He pressed.
Nitori pulled out of the hug, and tried his best to stare at his senpai’s eyes with the conviction that would take to convince him, but unfortunately something he did not possess in his current state of mind. He wiped tears from his eyes, and attempted to himself from shaking.
Rin watched him, his hands slowly guiding the boy into a comfortable sitting position, one on his lap. He watched him wipe tear after tear, each flick of the hand growing frantic by the second. Flashes of what had happed hours before had been resurrected from his mind, and now dread was creeping under his skin. It was happening all over again.
He tried calling out Nitori’s name for him to stop, but the boy paid no heed. He had to pry the boy’s hands from his face and envelope him once again in a hug for his kohai to stop. Once again Nitori crying uncontrollably, muttering the words no and please don’t. He had his head buried in the crook of his senpai’s neck, and his hands clutching on his shirt, as if he was anchoring his own shaking body.
Rin closed his eyes. Slowly, he rocked his body, while continuing to rub circle’s on the boy’s lower back in an attempt to calm him a little. Guilt had ridden his thoughts, attempting to distract him from calming the shaking Nitori in his arms. He should have said something sooner. He should have prodded the boy with questions until he had answered every single one. So many questions muddled his thoughts, but one stood out. He wished, more than anything, that he wasn’t too late.