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It was a testament as to how hungry they all were that Sanzo allowed them to stop at a nightclub for food. It seemed to be the last place open in the town they'd rolled into and not even an inn in sight.
Hakkai kept one hand firmly on Gojyo's shoulder as they guided themselves between tables.
Gojyo tried to shake it off. "Quit it, man," he leaned back to yell, so Hakkai could hear him over the music. "You look like you're mothering me."
Hakkai's laugh was fierce. "I apologize. My desire to avoid trouble is in overdrive in a place such as this."
Gojyo tsked and smiled. "No troubles here." He stepped up behind the chair Goku was getting ready to sit on and pulled it away.
Goku caught himself before falling on the floor. "Hey!"
"That's my seat." Gojyo moved to sit and and they wrestled briefly before Sanzo reached over and yanked Goku into another chair.
"Shut up and look at the damn menu. Both of you."
Gojyo eyed the bright stage on the far side of the bar and ogled a pair of dancing girls. "Way ahead of you. Ow! Hakkai!"
"The menu is here, Gojyo."
Gojyo pulled the menu from his face and turned to squint at it in the dim light. He flinched as Goku whined.
"They only have like five things to choose from! I'll be hungry all night!"
Sanzo lit a cigarette. "Then just order all five."
"Can I order it twice?"
Sanzo blew out a cloud of smoke that drifted right into Gojyo's face. "Hey! That was rude!"
"Order it three times if you want. Just be quiet! It's already noisy in here." Sanzo then gave Gojyo a look that dared him to keep complaining.
Gojyo was fine with that, but before he could say anything else, Hakkai butted in.
"Sanzo, please don't blow your smoke in this direction."
"Did you choose your order?" Sanzo asked him.
"Not yet." Hakkai raised the menu up and waved at Sanzo's smoke.
Gojyo looked between them and then leaned closer to Sanzo. "If you piss him off, we're switching seats."
"Tch."
Goku bumped the table. "Our waitress!"
The waitress was dressed in such a way as to show as much of her assets as possible in the darkened bar. She shimmied and swayed back and forth in front of their table as she took their orders, and leaned far over the table a few times in order to hear better.
Gojyo pulled out his cash and offered her a couple bills to bring back their order quickly. She bounced away.
"Damn." Gojyo stared after her.
"Pervert," said Goku.
Gojyo swung around. "You should thank me, monkey. We'll get our food faster now."
"Really? Cool! Thanks!" And then he frowned. "I'm not a monkey!"
"Gojyo, please don't hand out money recklessly."
"It was just an early tip, Hakkai. Lighten up." Gojyo looked back at the stage. There was different girl dancing there now. She had legs that went on forever and she was wrapping them around the pole. "She could wrap those around me," he mumbled, but only Sanzo seemed to hear him and he just rolled his eyes.
The waitress reappeared with their tray of drinks and set them out, leaning over Gojyo's shoulder in the process.
Gojyo grinned and thanked her. "What time do you get off?"
She smiled and leaned close. "Couple hours." And then she rubbed her hand over his neck and shoulder and pulled away with a little wave and disappeared.
Gojyo frowned and sat up to watch her leave.
Sanzo looked back and forth between them. "What's wrong? Not soon enough for you? Pervert."
Gojyo looked around the table at the others, and then pointed over his shoulder. "Guys. I don't think that's a chick."
Goku laughed. "Are you kidding? She was hanging out of that shirt!"
Sanzo gave Goku a dirty look. "Don't talk like that."
Gojyo shook his head. "That doesn't mean anything!" His eyes scanned the bar. "I think it was a guy."
Hakkai sighed. "Gojyo, how else would you know it was man?"
"When he put his hands on me! " Gojyo sagged in his chair. "Those weren't girl hands."
Sanzo tsked, and stubbed out his cigarette. "So you're saying you've had guy hands all over you, and so you can tell the difference."
Gojyo made a face. "Well, Hakkai's hands are always on me, so I know -"
"I beg your pardon!" The table rocked as Hakkai sat forward.
Gojyo leaned back. "Shit! That's not what I meant! I just -"
Hakkai clasped his hands in front of him. "I don't touch you that much, Gojyo."
"Sure you do. When you're healing. When we sit down for meals, when we -" Gojyo reached for his cigarettes as he spoke, when Hakkai interrupted.
"I believe it's you who's touching me all the time."
"What?" Gojyo stopped in mid-light. "No, I -"
"You hang all over me wherever we go," Hakkai accused. "You act quite possessive."
Sanzo's muffled snort of laughter could be heard.
"No I don't!" Gojyo said, and then snarled at Sanzo. "Shut up, monk!"
Goku set down his mug of soda and joined in "What's the big deal? I touch Sanzo all the time!"
Sanzo whipped out his fan. "Shut it!"
"Ow! I'm just sayin!" Goku covered his head with his arms. "Sanzo!" He tumbled off the other side of his chair to escape the pummeling. "Sheesh! We all touch each other!"
Hakkai laughed unpleasantly. "Perhaps we should stop worrying about who's touching whom and concentrate on where we'll be sleeping tonight."
They all eyed one another for a moment.
"There're no inns," Sanzo finally said.
"Well, that was easy." Hakkai smiled unhappily. "We'll be camping out again. Except perhaps, for Gojyo -"
"Hakkai, don't go there!"
"-who's intent on making new friends."
"You're a bastard."
"I don't see how your choice of companionship makes me a bastard, Gojyo."
Gojyo's spoke through gritted teeth. "I am not companioning with any dudes!"
"You don't know - why don't you ask her, or him." Hakkai nodded past Gojyo. "Since they're bringing our food."
They all fell silent as their food arrived. There were covert glances at the waitress, and another server who'd helped carry the trays.
After she'd cooed at Gojyo again, and he'd smiled awkwardly, they were left alone again. Goku grabbed his plate, loaded it up, and dug into it. The others filled their plates as well, and ate contemplatively.
After several minutes, Hakkai paused in his eating. "Well? Gojyo?"
"What? I don't know!" He pushed his plate away. "I'm going with my gut. It's a dude." He looked around. "This looks like a regular bar, though," he added. "They've got dancing girls and shit."
Their eyes met and they all glanced up at the stage which was currently empty.
"And all the men look like men," Goku offered.
"Except for the waitress?" said Hakkai.
"And Sanzo," Gojyo quickly added, and burst into chuckles. He shut his mouth when Sanzo's gun came out.
Hakkai's frown was terrifying. "I think we've all had enough fun here. Sanzo, please give me the gold card, and I'll go pay for our meal."
Sanzo scowled at Gojyo and then handed it over, and Hakkai disappeared. He returned a few minutes later and handed the card back to Sanzo.
"We have a dilemma. They don't take credit cards, and we don't have enough cash between us all."
"Bullshit." Sanzo pulled his cigarette from his mouth and glared toward the register near the door.
"What are we gonna do?" Gojyo and Goku started looking for an exit toward the restrooms.
Hakkai smiled grimly. "I spoke with the proprietor and he suggested that he could call the local law enforcement, or we could work it off as the rest of the evenings entertainment."
A chorus of, "Hell no's," sounded around the table.
Hakkai waited for silence. "One of us must do this."
"Gojyo," Sanzo said.
"What! Don't just nominate me!"
Goku nodded in agreement with Sanzo. "But whenever you lose a game, you're always the one dancing naked , Gojyo."
Hakkai laid his hands flat on the table. "Then it's settled. Gojyo has the most experience with naked dancing, so he'll be the one to do this."
"Hakkai, you're out to get me!"
"Go dance well for us." Sanzo shooed at him.
The others watched as Gojyo grumbled and was taken to the stage where he started his usual performance.
"He's getting quite good at this, don't you all think?"
Goku nodded.
Sanzo raised an eyebrow at Hakkai. "Hn. Should we tip him?"
"Absolutely!" Hakkai smiled. "But let him work for it a little first."
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