Chapter Text
The hardest part was saying goodbye. Having to leave the warmth and security of Adil and head back to the hotel with his big room and empty bed. He constantly felt extremely lonely there, even though there was so many people around him. Sometimes he would dream that he had fallen asleep in his bed with Adil there right beside him, their bodies intertwined and arms around each other. He always woke up disappointed though. He would much rather stay with Adil in his small, cosy flat which felt more like home to Toby after a couple of weeks than the hotel ever would. If they were a “normal” couple there wouldn’t be a problem… although there was no use in thinking this like that, it didn’t change anything. It was just too dangerous, and that is how Toby found himself wandering home after another night of being immersed in his love with Adil.
“Good evening, Mr Feldman,” Toby greeted the doorman on night shift as he walked into the hotel, trying to act normal like it wasn’t unusual for him, or anybody else for that matter, to be wandering back in this late.
“Good morning, you mean,” he smiled, nodding his head towards the large clock above the entrance. Toby looked up and saw it was already nearly 6 o’clock in the morning. Where had the time gone? He caught himself smiling subconsciously as his thoughts ran back to what he had been up to.
Toby didn’t know what to say to that so just awkwardly chuckled before making his way as fast as he could up the stairs feeling rather thankful. Mr Feldman wasn’t one to gossip unlike so many of the other staff members, so he figured he was safe for now. If it had been Emma or Mr Garland even, he knew he would have had a lot more questions directed towards him, but that’s because they’ve known him forever and he almost sees them as family. They would just be looking out for him, not being nosey. As for the rest of the staff though, it wasn’t their job to know what was going on in his private life. Well, except for Adil of course. He knew his private life better than anybody and that’s the way Toby liked it.
Toby stifled a yawn and ran his hand through his messed up hair as he travelled upwards in the elevator. He was going to have a shower and then go straight to bed and hopefully sleep until lunch time. He could just tell the others that he had been concentrating on his work in his room and didn’t want to be disturbed. That was a regular occurrence for him after all.
The lift dinged, signalling it had reached his floor and the doors opened. He physically jumped from surprise when he heard someone call on him from what he had expected to be an empty corridor.
“Toby?” He heard the questioning voice of his brother.
“Freddie, hey,” he replied awkwardly as he watched his brother turn around and lock the door to his room which was adjacent to Toby’s own suite.
“What are you doing?” he questioned, looking Toby up and down judgementally. He knew his clothes were slightly crumpled from being thrown around Adil’s room earlier and his hair was a mess. He hadn’t thought he was going to see anyone else though. I probably still have that huge grin on my face that always happens after I’ve been with Adil as well, he thought to himself.
“Oh, um, I woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I decided to go for a walk,” he came up with quickly, fiddling with his hands as he spoke. He was very proud with himself that he didn’t stutter or hesitate once.
“I see. For a moment I thought you were going to tell me you’d been working late again,” he answered, raising his eyebrows as if to challenge Toby. He had used that excuse more times than he cared to admit, but after a month or so of sneaking around it was becoming increasingly difficult to come up with explanations for his whereabouts. He couldn’t use it this time though, as it could not explain why he had been away this late, or early if you wanted to look at it like that.
Toby knew that Freddie knew he wasn’t telling the truth. He could tell by the way he was looking at him, worry and curiosity etched across his face. That was one of the only downfalls about growing up with someone and spending almost all of your childhood moments together. Secrets were very hard to have, they’d learned that very early on. Which was why Toby was seriously loathing his current situation.
“No, not this time. I have a couple of leave days now, so I don’t have to go into the office. I’ll just be spending the morning working in my room then I’ll come down and eat with you and mother.”
“Alright Toby,” Freddie shrugged, and Toby almost breathed a sigh of relief, thankful for how he didn’t push him for any explanations. For now anyway. It was only going to be a matter of time.
“So, where are you off to?” Toby asked, quickly diverting the focus of the conversation away from himself.
“I’m just off to the training grounds with some of the lads. Got to keep this body fighting fit!”
“Of course, I’ll see you later then.” He nodded goodbye to his brother as they parted ways.
Toby rushed into his room and collapsed on his bed as soon as he had locked the door behind him. There was only so many times he could lie to his brother and expect him to not demand answers. Toby got it. Freddie was his twin brother, they told each other everything. Well, they used to at least. Toby used to think that they knew more about each other than anybody else, but if Toby was keeping such a big thing like this from him, could Freddie be doing the same with him? How well did they really know each other?
Toby’s brain was spinning, trying to come up with a solution like it always did. But he was far too tired to think about it properly. The problem solving, and the shower, would have to wait.