Chapter Text
“I think it's perfect for us.” She says as she runs her fingers against the newly painted white wall.
“It's a little small.” He says instead, tilting his head to examine the small hallway they are currently standing in.
“We need small.” She replied staring ahead at one of the rooms. “Seems like everything has been to big for us. The little simple couple from Virginia. If we are staying in New York forever, then let's get something small. Intimate.” She turns around to smile at him, showing her teeth.
He smiles back.
“We don't have to stay here forever.” He walks over to stand next to her. Wrapping his arm around her neck and pulling her close. “Nothing is forever.” He says simply and he can feel her giggle.
“Nothing is forever.” She repeats. “And nothing is promised. But we try to do it anyway.”
“Promise?” He asks.
“No.” She says looking up at him. “We try forever.”
He leans down to kiss her but
Alexander wakes him up.
At first it sounds like a restless groan. Indicating the young boy is having an uncomfortable sleep. But then when George is trying to fall back asleep he hears them again. And they're getting louder as time progresses.
It's around 4 in the morning when Alexander is full on screaming. So loud that George jumps out of the bed to get him.
And this isn't something new. Alexander cries and makes noises just about every night. Washington tries to ignore them for the most part, knowing Alexander the boy would only be agitated on being confronted about it. But tonight it's different.
They aren't light cries and distorted groans, it's screaming. Alexander sounds like he’s screaming for his life. And George really can't ignore that.
“Alexander?” He asks urgently, fear and worry climbing into his fingertips as he wraps them around the doorknob. He doesn't get a reply. Only another out of breath scream.
When he does open the door, he finds the boy tangled in his sheets, the light of the moon gracing over his dark hair. His skin wet with sweat.
“STOP! I'M SORRY!” He screams out and it makes Washington anxious. He walks closer to Alexander as the boy continues to scream.
“PLEASE DON'T! I'M SORRY! DON'T!” He twists his head from side to side, tiny body thrashing against the heated air around him.
At first Washington doesn't know what to do. It's obvious Alex is still asleep. Does he wake him up or leave?
And then Washington remembers his own nightmares. The ones in which he stills suffers from today, a few minutes ago actually.
And he knows he would want someone to wake him up from them. No matter how sweet they seem.
So he walks cautiously over to Alexander in the midst of the young boys wild nightmare.
“Alexander.” He whispers lightly. When the boy still screams he puts a light hand on his shoulder and gently shakes.
“It's ok. No one's going to hurt you.” He says a little louder hoping to bring the boy to his senses.
“STOP! I DIDN'T MEAN TO!” He screams out throwing his arms up in defense.
They almost hit Washington but the man steps back quickly before the blow comes.
He swallows and tries a different approach.
He shakes Alexander, harder this time and begins speaking.
“It’s ok. No one's going to hurt you anymore. I'm going to protect you, I'm right here it's ok. It's just a nightmare.” He repeats over and over again until the boys screams and movements stop.
Alexander turns to his side, hiding his face underneath his arms as he settles into a fetal position that makes George heart hurt.
Silence fills the room. It stays silent like that for a few minutes until the heat comes on and Alex sighs.
“Don't leave me.” The young boy says quietly just as Washington is reaching for the doorknob again.
The older man stops mid action and turns to stare at Alex but he can't see much in the dark.
Alexander repeats himself.
“Please. Don't leave me. Not tonight. Just stay. Stay please.” And he's never heard Alexander beg like this before. It's so broken, and tired, full of fear and sadness.
Washington doesn't say anything. He just swallows and moves silently to the bed.
He gets in on the left side, not touching Alexander but only a finger away from him.
At first it's awkward, and tense and Washington begins to wonder if Alex has already regretted his decision to invite him.
Hes ready to make an awkward exit when Alexander turns around lays against his chest.
It's a swift movement, quiet and light and for a second Washington didn't think the boy moved until he feels a hand over his heart. He can also feel Alexander's hair against his arm, and feel the rise and fall of his chest against his side.
He can feel how fast the young boys heart is beating. Quick and erratic, doing wild thuds against Washington's skin. He almost wants to laugh at the fact that Alexander's heart beats are matching his own.
But Alex beats him to it.
“Your heart...” He starts. “It's beating so fast...are you alright?” He asks quietly and Washington nods, not trusting his voice just yet.
“Yes I'm fine.” He says horsley. “Yours is beating quite fast too.”
Alexander shifts beside him. Moving his body more on top of Washington's until it seems he is completely on the man. He buries his head in the crook of George's neck for a second and breathes. Then he moves back to his original position.
They sit there like that. Until their tension melts away and it's only them and their dark thoughts and broken bodies.
A minute goes by.
Then another.
Then another.
And then another.
And then Washington feels tears on his shirt.
And he hears Alexander crying.
___________________________________________________________
They don't bring it up that morning.
Alexander cooks breakfast for the two. They eat and then they go to work.
Barely anything is said in general but it's what happened last night that makes the star of the ‘avoiding conversations show’ .
The two get to work and barely say anything there as well.
Alexander stays at his desk for most of the day. Bags under his eyes deep and bruised, hair tied back into it's perfect ponytail but all Washington can see is that black hair sprawled out on his arm, covered in the silver moonlight.
He stares at Alexander throughout the entire day. Noticing things he’s never noticed before. Things that he now knows of because of last night.
How skinny Alexander really is. To have the boy practically laying on Washington and Washington didn't feel anything really.
How broad his nose was. He felt the shape of it against his neck.
How jumpy Alexander was. Always moving. He realized this when Alexander fell asleep and still continued to move in his sleep.
It's like he opened a new world, a planet in Alexander's universe. Named only ‘body’ because that's what it was all about.
It amazed him and scared him greatly at the same time.
“It seems we have a visitor.” Comes Lafayette tightly as he walks in through the door.
Washington, stuck in his daydreams looks up to see who.
None other than James Madison.
He's still wearing his coat, which means that he won't be staying long.
“James.” Washington stands, walking over to give the man a firm handshake and a pat on the back. “So nice to see you, again.” And James nods as a response.
“I'm sure it is, don't think your partner will agree though.” He smiles over to Lafayette who does no job trying to hide his extravagant and overly dramatic eyeroll.
“Still have that grudge on me Gilbert?” He asks in a mocking tone and Lafayette clears his throat.
“Are you still an asshole.” He says in return, and Madison laughs.
“That can be debated.” The man answers.
“Then so can my grudge.” Laf answers and makes his way to the door.
“You do realize me crashing your car was like 13 years ago right?” Madison asks before the Frenchman leaves and Lafayette turns around to him looking him in the eyes.
‘Yes, and I still hate you for it.” He says and then leaves.
Washington chuckles lightly at that. And Madison looks at him eyebrows raised.
“If I knew I would tell you.” Washington says before Madison even gets a word out.
Madison shakes his head. “Such a dramatic man he is.”
“So what can I do for you today?” Washington asks as he makes his way back around his desk, taking a look at Alexander before setting his attention back on Madison.
“It isn't very business formal, atleast I don't think so.” Madison says instead and Washington raises an eyebrow at that.
“What do you need?” He asks again and Madison shakes his head.
“It's Dolley.” He says first. “The annual debutante ball is coming around. She got her invitation yesterday morning but you know Dolley, to be invited just isn't enough. She has to in some way be apart of it. Have her name in it.” And Washington knows what's coming next.
“And John..” He starts off.
“Is 16 and of high name I suppose. Yes he is my son but I barely know the boy.” Madison finishes rolling his eyes.
“Why not ask Phillip?” Washington asks instead, not hiding the questioning look in his eye and Madison chuckles.
“Because it's Phillip.” Madison answers. “The man has been a mess since…” he doesn't finish the sentence.
Washington licks his lips.
“And I know the girls are staying up here with you watching over them. You seem to be the only father figure they have right now. That and Phillip is a douche.” Madison says flatly.
Washington smiles a light smile at that. “He can be at times.”
“So what do you say? John Madison escorting the wonderful Margarita Schuyler to the Debutante ball.” Madison tries to make it sound exciting but Washington can clearly see the tiredness and annoyance in his face about the whole situation and it makes him laugh.
“I think it's a good idea, they're both...unique.” Washington says carefully and he hears Madison snort.
“Theyre both weirdos you mean.” He smiles and Washington shrugs.
“I was no better at that age either. But yea I don't see why not, I'll asks Peggy. She'll probably say yes anyway.” And Madison shakes his head.
“Good, glad we got that settled, now my wife can get off my back about it.” And Washington sits down in his chair.
“By the way.” Madison stops at the door. “Did you get a new secretary?” He asks eyebrow raised.
“I did.” Answers Washington. “His name is Alexander Hamilton.”
“And how long do you think he is gonna last before he practically dies?” A smirk on his lips and Washington looks over at the young boy.
Hes currently writing something down, the phone in between his ear and shoulder and Washington swallows.
“I think a long time.” He answers. “He's good at surviving.”
__________________________________________________________
When they get home, Alexander finally speaks.
But it isn't about last night.
“Any requests for dinner?” He asks and Washington shakes his head no.
“The girls are coming over though.” Washington says shortly after.
Alexander shakes his head as conformation.
A few beats of silence goes by and Washington decides to just go for it.
“Alexander...about last night.” But the young boy puts his hand up and Washington closes his mouth.
“I shouldn't have made you stay, I'm sorry. I obviously wasn't thinking right.” Alexander tells him avoiding eye contact the entire time.
Washington furrows his brow, a sudden pain in his stomach at what Alexander said. “I...wasn't talking about that. I meant your nightmares. Do you experience them like that often?” He tries to change the subject. Tries to stop this newfound sinking feeling in his chest and stomach but it's only growing.
Alexander swallows. “They come and go. Yesterday was just a bad night. It won't happen again.” And the way the boy says it makes it seem like it won't happen again. Like it's final, that only makes Washington feel even more sick.
“Right, yea ok.” The older man replies and Alexander nods.
They sit there like that, in a state of silence until Washington speaks again.
“I don't mind helping you, when you have nights like those.” He says to Alex and he hopes that it doesn't sound creepy. That it won't sound like he's fishing for some excuse to spend time with the boy. He can't explain why he wants to but he just does.
“I'm fine. I would have rather been woken up George.” Alex says quietly and Washington nods.
“That's what I meant.” He recovers and Alex mutters an ‘oh’.
The young boy begins cooking, silent and in thought from Washington's perspective.
He choses to ignore it, and instead hides out in the living room reading while Alexander cooks.
“Thank you.” Alexander finally says when Washington walks back into the kitchen. The older man hears this and raises an eyebrow.
“I'm sorry?”
“I said thank you. For helping me. No one's ever helped me with them before. Only John and that was once.”
Washington shakes his head. “Yea, no problem.”
Alexander ends up making lasagna and vegetable and when he tells Washington, Washington wrinkles his nose.
“You don't like lasagna?” Alex asks with a light smile lingering on his lips.
“No, I'm not a fan. But I'll eat it nevertheless.” He answers.
“But you like spaghetti.” Alex laughs a little and Washington shrugs.
“I know, it doesn't make sense.” He shakes his head and Alex does too.
“You're such a complicated man, Mr. Washington.” He teases and George rolls his eyes.
“I've been told, but I personally feel like I'm a rather simple person. I don't want much in life.”
“Well what do you want?” Alex asks. He's putting food on the expensive china, with his back to Washington.
“Happiness.” Washington says, and Alexander hums in response.
“I suppose we all do. But you got that and more. Happiness, wealth, good looks, a healthy mind and body, a family....”
Washington clears his throat which snaps Alexander out of it. “Sorry.” He quickly says and Washington shrugs.
“It happens. But yea, I suppose I'm lucky in some of those fields yes.”
“Lucky.” Alex scoffs.
“I'm obviously not that lucky actually when I come to think of it.” Washington quickly says and Alexander asks him why not.
“I'm eating lasagna. And I hate that stuff.”
In return he gets a laughing Alexander.
“So no lasagna next time. Ok I can work with that.” The young boy says once he calms down.
“I still like the spaghetti you make. It's very good. I'm not a big fan of tomato sauce in general but yours is great.” He says and Alexander does a fake bow.
“Thank you, I'm going to start making a list of what you do and don't like.” And Washington shakes his head.
“There's no need for that.” And Alexander makes a disapproving noise.
“Nonsense! After everything you do for me. The least I can do is make food you actually like. Besides, I already know most of what you like and what you don't.”
“No you don't.” Washington chuckles.
“Ive memorised you. It seems to be the only thing I can do these days.” Comes Alexander and the realization of what he said slips between them in the air.
It goes silent and suddenly Washington's heart beat is picking up again.
“Oh.” The older man says quietly and Alexander chokes out a dry and sarcastic chuckle.
“That...was...creepy.” He shakes his.
“That was sweet.” Comes Washington and that only adds to the newfound tension in the air.
“Sweet.” Alexander whispers and Washington tries not to let it get in his bones and make him weird.
He tries to let what they just said to each other go because it's Alexander and the boy isn't interested in him like that, he made that clear the first day.
“Sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Nice is what I meant.” Washington says formally, and then he excuses himself and goes to his room to stare at a wall.
He tries not to let any of it bother him.
He tries not to let his thoughts be seen on his face when the Schuyler sisters arrive.
He tries not to let the sadness he suddenly feels when Alexander asks Eliza on a date show on his face.
And Washington tries not to let an unexplainable emotion be noticed on his body as Alexander screams from another nightmare, and especially not when he begs the older man back into his bed again.
Washington tries to keep everything under wraps as he holds the boy the second night in a row.
But yet he isn't strong enough, and he can't help but to hold Alexander a little tighter than necessary when the boy finally falls asleep.