Archive of Our Own ^beta

It’s little things that lead to the big conclusion. At first he doesn’t think it means anything that Kurt kicks them out of the apartment exceptionally fast whenever Sam comes to pick Blaine up for a movie or playing some pool or something. But then he realizes that whenever he has asked Kurt to join them, Kurt has made some flimsy excuse. And one time, when they’d gone bowling, Kurt had claimed that he was meeting up with Rachel and couldn’t come with them but when they came home early because Sam dropped the ball-thingy on Blaine’s foot, Kurt had been sitting on the couch, eating ice cream and watching some weird French movie with a face mask on. And he’d looked really guilty.

Which leads to Sam’s conclusion: Kurt doesn’t like him.

It makes sense, really. He’s Blaine’s best friend, Blaine’s best friend who Blaine totally wants to bang. And now he’s a model too. Also, he has like a billion things in common with Blaine. Kurt is bound to get jealous. Because to Sam it seems like all the two of them have in common is being gay. And that’s totally not a good foundation for a marriage. Kurt isn’t even into superheroes and whenever Blaine mentions Nightbird, he smiles at him all condescendingly. Sam has noticed. And also, while Sam hasn’t seen Kurt shirtless, he’s pretty sure he’s got more abs than him. So.

The problem is that Sam is sure Kurt could forbid Blaine to see Sam. They’re getting married. And Blaine is all moony-eyed whenever anyone mentions Kurt or says “wedding” or “marriage” or “ring”. Even though they’ve been back together for half a year now. Which is pretty long if you ask Sam.

So if Kurt were to forbid Blaine from seeing Sam, Sam just knows that Blaine would comply.  Because even though they’re cool now, Sam has noticed that Blaine is still sucking up to Kurt. He will probably make up for the whole cheating-debacle forever. That’s another thing Sam is unsure about. Because their relationship shouldn’t only work because Blaine is doing anything and everything for Kurt.

But Sam keeps his mouth shut. Because if Kurt doesn’t like Sam now he doesn’t want to imagine what he would have to say about Sam mentioning any of his concerns to Blaine. And Sam knows that Blaine is totally unable to keep secrets. Especially from Kurt.

Sam makes sure to be extra nice to Kurt whenever he sees him, determined to make him change his mind about him. He even compliments him on his fox tail, which seemed to please Kurt. But nothing changes. He’s still not hanging out with Sam, unless they’re all going out as a big group or cook together or something.

One night, Blaine and Sam decide to go out for drinks in this bar that never checks for ID. Sam tries one more time to convince Kurt to come with them but he’s already in his pyjamas and says he can’t because he’s organizing his brooches. Apparently they got mixed up with those from last season which of course needs to be rectified on a Friday night.

They’re sitting in a booth and Blaine is complaining about the prices of some venues Kurt and him have been looking at for the wedding and Sam can’t take it anymore.

“Will we still be friends when you’re married?”

Blaine laughs around his straw as if Sam’s made an awesome joke. “What kind of question even is that, Sam?”

Which.. is not exactly an answer. Sam feels dread fill his stomach and makes a few ab clenches. Everything’s an opportunity for workout, after all.

“Just, if Kurt tells you to stop being my friend, will you fight for our friendship? Because I think you should.”

Blaine looks at him like he’s lost his mind and finally puts his mouth away from his stupid rainbow straw, sitting up straight.

“Sam, why on earth would Kurt tell me to stop being your friend? We’re getting married, that doesn’t mean we’ll stop hanging out with other people. That’s not what a marriage is about. Where’s this coming from?”

Sam doesn’t appreciate that Blaine sounds all condescending like he’s talking to a toddler or something. He knows he’s right to have these concerns.

“Kurt doesn’t like me.”

Now Blaine just looks confused, leaning forward and yes, the music is kind of loud and there is this annoying fog-machine and maybe he shouldn’t have started this conversation on a Friday night in a bar in New York City.

“Of course he likes you. Why wouldn’t he like you?”

Sam rolls his eyes, because Blaine is so naive about things and sometimes he likes that, because sometimes he is too, but this time he wishes Blaine wasn’t so innocently stupid.

“Because I’m your best friend. And you like, sang me a love song and want to get up on all that”, he motions from his face down to his feet and continues talking even though Blaine’s expression changes from confused to amused. “And we have much more in common than you have with Kurt and he never wants to hang out with me and stays home watching lame movies instead.”

Blaine still looks amused but it’s clear he’s trying to tone it down to look more sympathetic.
“Sam, I can assure you that Kurt doesn’t not like you. You lived with him and his family in senior year. You were there for me when he couldn’t be. You do all the stuff with me that he’s not into. The only reason he’s never coming with us is because he just sometimes needs some time to himself. We’re living in the loft with Rachel AND Santana and we’re sharing a room that’s actually not even a room. He’s studying and working at Vogue.com and at the diner and has a band. We’re just really busy. It’s nice to have a night off every now and then. I do the same when he’s out with Rachel.”

That- actually makes a lot of sense. But-

“And he doesn’t care that you’ve got the hots for me?”

Blaine rolls his eyes but he blushes a bit and looks into his glass, swirling his straw around.

“No, because he knows that I have the hots for him so much more than I do for you. And he’s not blind, he knows you’re kind of.. attractive. Even though we’re getting married we are aware that there are other men out there. It’s okay to look as long as you would never act on it.”

Blaine shrugs like it isn’t a big deal, taking another sip from his drink.

Sam frowns down at his glass until Blaine kicks him underneath the table to get his attention. When he looks up, Blaine’s watching him curiously.

“I get why you thought that Kurt didn’t like you, but what made you think he would ever tell me who to be friends with? And more importantly, that I would let him?”

He had really hoped to avoid that part of the conversation.

“I just think that it’s really hard for you to say no to Kurt. Like, I’ve never seen you say no to him. And maybe, you know, he can kind of do whatever he wants and you let him but the other way around-”

Oh god he’s getting into so much trouble. But if he can’t share his concerns with his best friend then maybe they aren’t best friends like he’d thought.

The music thrums, Sam can feel the vibration through the glass he’s holding and there’s a girl in a skimpy dress making her way over to him. He shakes his head minutely and she shrugs and leaves in another direction. Blaine hasn’t said anything yet and looks like he’s actually thinking Sam’s concerns over, which makes Sam feel about a bazillion times better.

“Like, for example, when we moved out here, you wanted to join his band. I know you did. And he said you couldn’t and you just- accepted it. Shrugged and said okay. I think you still feel bad about the whole break-up thing and just accept whatever Kurt gives you. Like you don’t deserve better than whatever Kurt’s willing to throw your way. The other day when we were all out to brunch you totally let him have your water melon and I know how much you love them.”

And now he’s seriously overstepping and Kurt will hate him and won’t even have to tell Blaine to stop seeing Blaine because Blaine won’t want to hang out with him and Blaine-

-is smiling. “You’re a good friend, Sam Evans. Slightly misguided, but a really good friend. I’m glad you’ll be my best man. You should have talked to me sooner, maybe, but I understand how difficult this must have been for you.”

Well. That isn’t what Sam had expected. Blaine is still smiling at him, slightly besotted if Sam had to pinpoint his smile. He pats his hand on the table and laughs fondly. Right. Fondly. Blaine is giving him a fond smile.

“So you’re saying I’m wrong about all that?”

Blaine’s grin is mischievous. “You were wrong about Kurt not liking you, weren’t you?”

Only Blaine can make him pout and also feel like a six-year-old. “That’s what YOU tell me, anyways.”

Blaine grins and shakes his head.

“I didn’t say it was okay that I couldn’t join his band. I just didn’t want to discuss it in front of all you guys. So we talked about it later on and I understood and actually agreed to his reasoning. We’re talking now, Sam. It’s different this time around. We’re in a good place.

And maybe you’re right about me still feeling bad about the break-up, of course I do. But I gave him my melons before the break-up, too. I like doing nice things for him. He lets me have the last piece of cheesecake even though they’re his weakness. We do stuff for each other. To show that we appreciate the other. It’s just stuff we do. There’s no competition of who is taking and who is giving more in this relationship. There’s no point. We both know we would give anything for the other.”

NOW he’s smiling his besotted Kurt-smile and Sam feels- dumb. And like a kid again. Because he’s never been in that kind of relationship. It sounds awfully mature. He’s not sure he would be ready for it.

“I’m glad I’m your best man. Because I really have a feeling I will only get the chance once with you. Only that one wedding.”

Which is about a 180° turn from what he thought before this talk, but he’s allowed to change his mind, isn’t he? Blaine is grinning again, looking touched.

“Don’t worry, Sam. I’m sure Kurt and I will find a way to have a couple of more wedding celebrations in the next 70 years. I’ll always let you be my best man.”

Of course the next time they’re cooking together, Kurt corners him in the kitchen.

“So I heard you think I don’t like you and have nothing in common with my fiancé?”

Dammit. Sam knew he could never count on Blaine.

Kurt is watching him while he looks for an easy escape route, one eyebrow arched, hands on his hips, looking really scary. When he finds no escape route for the Blonde Chameleon, he resigns himself to another exhausting exchange. Kurt notices the moment he deflates and begins to grin.

“I never said you had nothing in common”, Sam thinks is a good idea to start with.

Kurt rolls his eyes in an exaggerated way. “Just much less than he does with you”, he states, which Sam can’t contradict. Kurt grins knowingly again and leans against the counter next to Sam and continues talking without giving Sam the chance to come up with something.

“I’m sorry you thought I didn’t like you, Sam. I just think it’s important that Blaine and I have best friends other than each other that we have all for our own. I have Rachel, Blaine has you. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like you. I’m really glad you and Blaine became such good friends.”

Sam nods; he understands that now, Blaine explained it to him too. It’s still nice to hear it from Kurt.

Kurt turns his head to looks straight at Sam. “That doesn’t mean that Blaine and I aren’t best friends as well. No way in hell has he more in common with you than with me. We’re not competing for his affection; I want you to see that we’re good for each other. But if we were to compete I would bet you anything that I would win.”

He sounds smug about it and says it without a shadow of doubt and Sam- disagrees. He knows how competitive Kurt can get, but there’s no way he would back down from a challenge.

“What do you have in common with Blaine then?” he asks, and he knows he sounds more challenging than he meant to, but the damage is already done. Kurt smiles even bigger and hops onto the counter. As if he had to get comfortable for a long speech. As if.

“We both like to sing-“, Sam rolls his eyes, because duh, they all have that in common, but Kurt ignores him and steamrolls on, “especially with each other and to each other. We are both kind of attention whores, when it comes to being on a stage or when we’re at home; we’re both really competitive and take our art and our careers very serious. We appreciate hard work and have our work ethic in common. But we also enjoy relaxing, watching stupid reality TV shows and rom-com’s and anything on TV generally. We love Vogue and appreciate nice clothing in general, more than anyone else in our friend circle. We both love to cook, though he’s better at baking and I’m better at cooking, and we’re very clean and organized, which bodes well for living together in such a small space. We care a great amount about our appearance and take care of ourselves. We have a thing for dramatic and over-the-top romantic gestures, which you’re probably already aware of. We also have in common that we don’t want to spend any minute of our life without the other. We have in common that we care for other people, and most importantly, for each other. We work hard on making each other happy. We have in common that we know each other. Better than anyone else. I know that he only gives me his water melons because he enjoys the way I suck on them. And he probably knows that I’m only going to his stupid Zumba class with him to watch him in his obscenely short work-out-pants. We have in common that we agree on our fantasy-threesome-list and that you’re in the top 5, but that we would never actually have a threesome because no way in hell would we ever share the other with anyone. We have in common that we love each other, Sam. And want to spend our life loving each other.”

Sam is kind of gobsmacked, both by the amount of things Kurt came up with that he never noticed, but also by the information that he never wanted to know about his best friend. Ever. He will never be able to look at melons again.   

Kurt grins again and hops down from the counter. “You can’t win this this competition, Sam.” He’s not saying it maliciously but casually. “And I don’t care that he had a crush on you. We both wouldn’t kick you out of our imaginary threesome-bed. I’m not threatened by you and I don’t want you to feel like I am, or like I should be. I want us to work on keeping Blaine happy, always. So continue talking about weird superhero-stuff and dress up in your costumes. And I will continue to peel him out of his costume and enjoy the moment the mask comes off. Or not.”

He’s grinning again and thanks, Kurt, now Sam won’t be able to look Nightbird in the eye ever again. He also intentionally doesn’t think about how it’s kind of hot that Kurt and Blaine apparently both want him.

A muffled laugh makes them look to the door where Blaine is leaning against the doorframe, shaking his head and looking at Kurt like he can’t believe he actually exists.

“You’re unbelievable.”

But it sounds more like, marry me, now, always, to Sam, which Kurt seems to agree on, as he answers “I love you too”, smirking and walking over to Blaine to kiss his cheek.

Sam averts his eyes, though they aren’t really big on PDA, so it’s not like they’ll start making out in front on him. But sometimes, it feels that way, just by the way they look at each other.

He still feels like he should apologize, since he was wrong about all of the stuff he had been so certain about.

“Sorry, you guys. I didn’t mean to meddle, I just- Sorry. You know I’m happy for you. I will think of something nice to do for your wedding as an apology gesture, okay?”

Kurt looks really alarmed and Blaine snorts, not even looking at Kurt but knowing his thoughts on the matter regardless.

“That’s really sweet of you, Sam, but it’s not necessary. No harm, no foul. And we all know how much Kurt enjoys competing and winning.”

Kurt is grinning broadly again, nodding along and melting into Blaine’s side when Blaine puts his arm around his back.

Sam cracks a grin and rolls his eyes. “You could have also just let me off easy, you know. Tell me I’m wrong, that I shouldn’t worry and that you’ll be good to my best friend.”

Kurt shrugs and smiles innocently at Sam. “But where would have been the fun in that?”

Blaine and Kurt are both laughing now, and Sam is pretty sure it’s at his expense, so he leaves the kitchen in search of Rachel or Artie or Santana. Santana. That’s how much he doesn’t want to be around these two.

He can hear them whispering to each other when he leaves, mostly Blaine’s “I love you so much” and Kurt’s “we’re awesome”.

And he thinks that maybe, maybe the Blonde Chameleon doesn’t have to worry about them. They will be just fine.