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Ross closed his eyes against the swaying of the world around him and took a deep breath to try and calm the churning of his stomach.
Smith had been trying to get hold of him since before it had gotten dark and it was now well into the early hours of the morning, but Ross was still ignoring his phone. An innocuous comment from Kim had sent the dark haired man into a spiral of deeper and deeper thoughts until he succumbed to the pull of then and fully let himself be pulled into a pit of self-loathing and despair.
Ross tried to ignore the footsteps sweeping through the sand, approaching him. Tried to convince his drunken mind that it was his imagination and that if he didn’t turn to watch him approach, that Smith wouldn’t be making his way over to where Ross was propped up against a rock on the edge of the beach.
“Ross?” Smith called, his voice indicating he already knew that the man he asked for was the shadowy figure that he was approaching. “What the fuck?” He asked, when Ross didn’t reply. “Where the fuck have you been? We’ve been trying to contact you for hours.”
The drunk man still didn’t turn to acknowledge Smith. “M’fine.” He slurred. “Leave me alone.”
Smith halted in his tracks, sending a small splash of sand over Ross’ leg. Smith only hesitated for a second before shaking his head and sitting himself down on the soft ground. “No.” He said. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me why you’re out here. Alone. Stinking of cheap cider.”
“You wouldn’t-“ Ross started, curling his fingers around the almost empty bottle.
“Wouldn’t what?” Smith interrupted. “Understand?” He said, voice tinged with sarcasm. “I thought we said we wouldn’t do this anymore?” The question went unanswered as he continued. “We said we would be honest and talk things through if something were wrong.”
Ross sighed. After everything they had been through together, he had made Smith promise to share his feelings and right now, even in his drunken state he knew he wasn’t living up to his end of that particular agreement. “I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.” He said, pulling his hand back away from the bottle.
Smith’s face screwed up in confusion and Ross hung his head for a moment, listening to the crash of the waves against the shore.
“-And it scares me.” Ross continued. “I’m not sure I ever was this happy. I’m this-“ He paused, trying to find the right words but nothing seemed to fit. “I thought I knew myself.” He said, seeming to settle on a train of thought. “But today I found myself walking around the office smiling at nothing.” Ross explained, looking at Smith for the first time since he arrived. “Just smiling, just because.” He said, as if it was an explanation in and of itself. “And I thought I was crazy, people don’t just walk around smiling for no reason but I spoke to Kim and apparently they do.”
Smith’s face softened, his eyebrows unfurrowing as he took in the look on his boyfriends face. “Ross-“ He said, reaching forward to stroke his thumb down Ross’ cheek. “You are not-“
Ross caught Smith’s hand just before it reached his face. “I don’t know who I am.” He confessed. “And you don’t either and that is more terrifying than the werewolf thing.” Ross sniffed, tears gathering in his eyes. “Things are so different and it’s like I have to just wait and see what kind of person I really am and what if that person isn’t compatible with this life?”
Smith shook his head and squeezed Ross’ hand. “Not possible.” He insisted, sounding confident and certain in his declaration.
Ross huffed a watery laugh, too tired to argue further.
“Take me home.” Ross said, leaning towards Smith and bumping his head against the other man’s shoulder.
Smith snaked his arm around Ross’ shoulder. “Alright, Drama Queen.” He said before pushing himself to his feet and offering Ross his hand to help him to his feet.
“Takes one to know one.” Ross said, slapping his hand into Smith’s
“Seriously?” Smith said, pulling Ross to his feet.
Ross shrugged. “I’ve drank half my body weight in White Lightening, give me a break.”