Work Text:
I don’t understand
why I always think of you
between the pages
It’d been too long without him.
Sometimes I missed the days when he’d watch my every move, like I had magic tricks up both sleeves. They say a magician never reveals his secrets, but I’ve never had anything to hide.
Frankly, I wouldn’t know what to hide if I did.
I thought he’d pack his bags after maybe a week, familiarizing himself with my belongings and bookshelves. Surely he didn’t come up with much (other than dust bunnies), yet Genos never voiced his disappointment. He seemed to enjoy cleaning - of all the activities a ‘disciple’ would do.
I remember the first time he started to hum to himself in the kitchen, hearing it above a thunderstorm.
You’d think it would be too soft a sound.
When I was about to ask if he needed any help, I'd bumped into him on accident, chopped onion and garlic falling like hail. (Clumsy, I know.)
“Ah! I’m sorry...”
“It is no problem, Sensei.”
Our fingers brushed as we both bent down, the lights teasing in pulses. It was so damn silly we almost knocked heads chasing vegetables across the floor.
“Sorry, lemme just get outta your way,” I told him, after one too many touches.
“Please stay,” he said. “It is fine.”
And as I washed my hands, he backed up into me. (Totally on purpose.)
“This kitchen ain’t big enough for the two of us,” I chuckled.
Genos just laughed and said it again, “Please stay, please stay!”
“...I’m not going anywhere, Genos,” was my reply.
And I might have said it a little too seriously.
Because our eyes met then.
His hands, delicate, rested upon my forearms.
“ ...Me neither.”
I blinked.
(When did this turn into more than leaving the kitchen?)
I cocked a brow, seemingly unfazed, “Uh, that’s...good. At least dinner will get done, right?”
He stumbled and gasped, backing away, “...Y-Yes...I apologize!”
The warmth he left on my arms still lingered.
Genos cleared his throat, continuing that hum while I stood beside watching.
But the knives never made the same sound while I was there.
Is that a song you like? It’s nice.
I should’ve said this, but I oddly kept quiet.
little by little
days go on in memories
and there’s only you
When fans of his started to come up to me asking questions, I realized something.
They’d constantly nag, “Where’s the Demon Cyborg? Isn’t he always with you?”
My apologies had become a broken record.
Even the Hero Association worried about him (just a few people actually), wanting to know if I’ve heard anything.
“No,” I told them for the thousandth time. “I don’t even know where he is. He never told me.”
It’s just a repeated story for the next day as I walked home on cracked asphalt, wondering about dinner.
Leftovers, leftovers, leftovers...
Don’t waste food, don’t waste food...
Oh, and King would come over several times a week, but was too preoccupied to speculate over Genos’ absence.
A video game helped me forget things - for a short while.
I recall him saying, “Saitama, you’re falling behind in points again.”
“Yeah...”, I replied back to King, listless. “Being number one isn’t everything.”
I must have acted like I was mourning - because it did feel that way, y’know?
I waited to hear those footsteps, arms full of chores I should’ve done right after breakfast. Genos always insisted that he’d take care of everything as I sucker-punched a monster or two. Or three.
Oh, did he spoil me. (That rhymes.)
And I shouldn’t have let him.
Because I got so used to it.
and these thoughts of you,
tugging my cape as I fight;
always here with me
He’d have every dish washed and put away in minutes, which terrified me because some of those plates weren’t exactly cheap.
Otherwise, I quickly got used to someone else being in my kitchen.
Genos caught me staring a bit too long one day as he scrubbed the sink.
“...Sensei, if there is something you must speak to me about, please say it.”
Why are you still here? What are you looking for?
Those were the questions I wanted to ask. But I kept my mouth shut.
“...Uh, you’re doing well, that’s all. Keep it up,” I said.
He then bowed, pleased with my half-assed acknowledgement as usual.
“Thank you for your kind words, Saitama-sensei! Now I must finish the laundry!”
Sometimes I wondered if I overkilled in compliments without thinking. Ha! (Most things I’ve said came from a manga read a hundred times. Go figure.)
But perhaps those words fared better than cursing him out when I’d been at my worst.
He’d always manage to pull me out of what seemed like a hopeless darkness. I no longer felt numb usually when he was around.
Human. (Is that what it is?)
I don’t remember what set me off, exactly. But it definitely had something to do with that notebook of his.
...........
“Come on! There’s nothing for me to teach you. You’re gonna get bored of me, walk out of this place, and never come back! Mark my words, don’t write them down.”
He tilted his head, eyes unblinking. Trying to read me again.
“...Why would I do that, Sensei?”
“And I told you to stop calling me that! It’s ridiculous.”
“But I must address you appropriately, Saitama-sensei. I am and always will be your disciple!”
“There are better people out there, Genos-”
“-I am not looking for anyone else. How can I help you understand that?”
And he stood up, his gaze locked; the golden light flickering.
He added, “...How can I express how absolutely wonderful you are? After saving my life, I am devoted to-”
“-Look...y’know, you can’t just...,” I groaned, caught up in my mind’s bull. “I’m just gonna...take a shower-”
“-Wait!”, he stopped me then.
“What now?”
And silently, Genos padded into the kitchen to bring out a small package.
“...For you.”
I scoffed like an idiot, “...It’s not my birthday.”
“Still, it is a gift.”
(What a smart-ass.)
Under his heavy gaze, I quickly tore open the reflective wrapping, revealing a small bag of dark, dried leaves - the Kanji for tea printed on its front.
“W-Wait, is this...Gyokuro?! Don’t you know how expensive that is?”
(Of course he did.)
Genos replied, “...The market did not carry your regular brand and you were mentioning this tea for a while. Would you like a cup right now?”
Beyond ecstatic, I said, “Y-Yeah! Oh, make enough for yourself too. I’m not hogging this whole thing.”
He was a little surprised. (I’m not that heartless.)
“...Thank you.”
And so, we drank the tea in silence. I remember this wash of calm, more effective than any cold shower.
“...How is it?”, he asked.
“Ah, it’s great! I didn’t expect you to get me this, but...thanks. Really.”
My face flushed as I peered into the cup. Sometimes it’s amusing to watch each curl of the steam, vanishing faster than incense smoke. (The little things.)
“...Genos, what was I so angry about before?”
He blinked and his gaze fell to his wrist, taking a moment before speaking.
“Just a part of yourself you are at war with. I am too, still.”
I watched Genos flex his arm over and over as if he was testing it. Fingers outstretched and trembling, he sighed.
I wanted to reach out and hold his hand.
But I didn’t.
He’s more human than I’ll ever be, I thought.
“Saitama-sensei…”
When I looked up, Genos was smiling at me.
And I wondered how he could do that, in front of a pathetic man who just yelled at him.
I didn’t deserve such kindness.
...........
There’s still enough for two more cups, sealed tight in the cupboard. I absentmindedly crinkled the foil packaging one evening, thinking of him.
Will he be back before it expires?, I mused.
(It was around midnight and I couldn’t sleep.)
and I’ll wait for you
inside this film of daydreams
on a windless night
It’s as if it was yesterday that we said our goodbyes. Most of his stuff was previously dropped off at the doctor’s, just so that I had more space. (I couldn’t argue with him.)
“...Um, be careful,” I remember that too. I wanted to say more, but it hurt to say anything at all.
“I will. Please take care, Saitama-sensei.”
I watched him leave but he’d turn and notice how I still stood there, leaning on the doorframe as if something dragged me down until I was just a puddle.
I swear the look on his face said: “Come with me.”
Holding my breath, I waved a little in reassurance.
But he wasn’t pleased - and ran right back to embrace me - practically lifting my feet off the floor.
“G-Genos, what the hell?!”
“...When I return I must tell you something, Sensei.”
He whispered this in my ear and let go, boots heavy like a soldier’s march. I caught that undyingly determined expression.
I felt myself nearly collapse.
And yet, I stood.
Please stay.
Please stay.
...No.
I can’t do that to him, I thought.
I returned into my apartment, empty and silent.
It was so dark even with the lights on.
In the shadows, my piggy bank stared at me and I remember saying, “Well, I can’t just chase after him.”
That’s when I knew but was so tired of defining it; stuffed inside a box within a box.
Whenever I looked at Genos, everything else would fade.
He was a lighthouse.
A refuge.
And I didn’t want him to know about it.
(Not yet, anyway.)
there in the darkness
shines a light only I see
if only you knew
I couldn’t even get through a shopping trip without recognizing him everywhere in the store. I noticed these things.
A stranger with almost the exact same golden blonde hair.
Eye-catching signs with a yellow lava-like glow.
Boots marching past me in a canned food aisle.
But it didn’t stop there, oh no.
I'm browsing along and, lo and behold, was probably one of the best sales on his favorite sardines.
I thought it profane though to eat something he enjoyed, so I didn’t bother.
The usual was just fine.
Then I heard, “Caped Baldy?! ”
“...Eh?”
A little boy with a cape had run right up to me down that aisle, eyes a striking golden hazel.
Like a mini Genos.
The kid asked again, “Aren’t you Caped Baldy?!”
...Nah, I’m just some weird guy getting emotional over fish.
I said, “Yeah. Off-duty for the day.” (I was wearing my hoodie.)
This boy jumped and flailed, “Ohh! Can you sign my cape?! Can ya? Can ya?”
He held out a marker and I cringed when the ink bled into the fabric, like a wet brush to paper napkin. My hero name was nothing more than a smudge, but the kid didn’t seem to notice.
It’ll just fade after time anyway, I thought, sighing softly.
All the while, this boy was staring at my bald head.
“Hey. It’s rude to stare, y’know.”
And he tilted his own head, perplexed just like Genos, “...Why do you look so sad?”
I blinked, completely out of it.
“...I uh, haven’t seen someone in a very long time,” I mumbled. “He’s like...my favorite hero. Yeah.”
His eyes grew wide, “A hero can have a favorite hero?”
“Yeah, why not? I’m his number one fan!”
(Oh, Genos would’ve loved to hear that.)
The kid thought for a moment, “...Are you his favorite hero?”
I nodded, almost blushing. “Uh...I'd like to think so!”
He flicked his cape, twirling in place - and I had to laugh. It was really cute.
“Well, I think...that he’d want you to be happy! Not sad!”
He thanked me as I gave back the marker and twirled around again, sneakers screeching against the linoleum floor.
(This kid really did look a lot like Genos.)
“Keeeeeep smiling, Caped Baldy! Whoooosh!”
And just like that, he took off with both arms stretched in front of him.
I wondered who his favorite hero could be. I forgot to ask.
That cape looked familiar though.
And now kids are telling me how to live.
Huh...they’re not so bad after all.
The metal basket is cold as I hoist it up onto the conveyor belt.
And the cashier beamed like always, “Hi there! Did you find everything you were looking for?”
Not quite, I thought.
I cleared a dry throat, “Yeah! Thanks.”
...As if I could’ve found him sitting on a shelf, apron sold separately. Heh.
(The cashier gave me a strange look as I laughed like an idiot.)
Sometimes I didn’t want to return to the apartment, knowing he wasn’t there.
But with bags of perishables, I just shrugged and told the stars that night, “...I hope he’s okay.”
joy is elusive
but I’d like to believe in
better things to come
I got a call from him, finally. (On the phone he'd bought for me, insisting I needed one. Long story.)
After all this time, it ended in a stalemate very far from Z-City. And I wasn’t sure what to think - how could that even be possible with someone like him?
Just what the hell happened?
Genos could've had every single hero fighting by his side.
But this was his battle alone.
Before I realized, I was already outside pacing on the balcony. Every emotion (where did they come from?) swelled and all else was just too much - until I heard him.
Something crackled lightly in the background, maybe a fire. The noise reminded me of his tea package.
And something surged violently inside my chest, like great waves crashing.
Above it all, his voice was so soft against my ear.
》》》
“...Saitama-sensei?”
I imagined him smiling and maybe he actually was.
“Genos! I’ve....I’ve been thinking of you a lot. Are you okay? What's going on?”
“...Sensei…!”
Yeah, I just knew he was smiling.
Sounded like it.
“Oh. Uh, you don’t have to tell me everything right-”
“-I have thought about you EVERY DAY!”
(That startled me.)
“...Y-Yeah?”
He sighed, calming down, “...It is so great to hear you again!”
I squinted hard at the sunset; its fading gold exactly like his eyes.
“...Y-You’re coming home soon, right?”, I asked too eagerly.
“Of course...”, he chuckled. “Please tell me how you have been.”
“I’ve...been okay. Just y’know, worried about you.”
“...No need to worry Sensei, everything is fine. I will just need a few replacement parts. It is nothing the doctor cannot fix.”
I sighed, “Oh, good. That’s awesome.”
I rocked back and forth on my heels, wanting to say more.
My mind was blank.
And yet...
“Listen, I uh...I need to tell you something, Genos. But I want to say it in person.”
Silence.
Then, “...Me too, Saitama-sensei. I have not forgotten my promise.”
My face burned up at that point.
“...Uh, I don’t have much to talk about, really. I'm sorry.”
“But I...I want to talk to you all night if I can, Sensei. It is so good to hear your voice.”
(This guy…)
“Mm…”, I smirked, “...But my voice will sound a lot better in person. We can talk as much as you want when you get back. Okay, Genos?”
I said his name a hundred times too many, and hoped it wasn’t noticeable.
The clear night began to show its very first stars.
And for a moment, I closed my eyes to the crackling fire wondering if he was too.
Then, “...Sensei, are you still there?”
I smiled, “Yeah, I’m here.”
I heard a faint sniff.
“...I miss you. So much.”
Something set afire in my soul, then.
I didn’t know what to call it, if the feeling had a name.
“...I miss you too. I...ah, nevermind-”
“-What is it? Please tell me.”
“Just....uh...”
I bit a lip, staring at my feet. It was already getting so cold.
I shivered, “...Just...come back home.”
He replied with a soft, “I will. Please wait for me, Sensei.”
《《《
I’d seen Genos torn to pieces so many times, y’know?
I just wanted him back here, safe.
And maybe, at the very least, in my arms.
That’s all.
you're incredible,
and I just want you to know
that you're always loved
It almost felt like spring welcoming with a bouquet of carnations held so delicately.
And oil glistening in his eyes as he smiled.
“Saitama-sensei...!”
“Hey. Welcome back, Genos!”
It’d been so long.
But like the jerk I am, I told him that I never asked for flowers. (I asked for him.)
“...I know,” was his reply.
What else do you know?, I thought.
Careful not to destroy the flowers, he wrapped his other arm around holding me close.
I heard myself blurt out, “Next time, I’m going with you!”
But I was talking directly over him.
He repeated it: “Next time, you are coming with me.”
...Oh.
And suddenly, I just couldn’t help but think ahead of time - his mission finally carried out and over with.
Is the death of the Mad Cyborg all you really want?
“...What’s gonna happen afterwards? What will you do?”
Genos seemed taken aback, calculating.
“I would never resign as a hero, if that is your concern.”
My heart plummeted, then.
"...Oh. Uh...no, that's...not quite what I mean. But yeah! That's good too.”
I felt so selfish.
His eyes slowly scanned my apartment. It’s still the same as before he had left, only in slight disarray. (I’ve been on top of it, sort of.)
And he smiled, knowing.
“...Otherwise, I shall cook and clean. Have you already eaten dinner?”
I nodded and laughed, then started crying into his shoulder. It felt like buckets, endless.
The timid warmth of his fingertips grazed against my neck.
Soft honeycomb yellow locks tickled my ear.
Man, I missed him.
“Saitama-sensei…it is so wonderful to be back home.”
Genos shattered my life just to put it all back together; fragments of illusion left on the ground.
(And y’know, he’ll probably clean that up too.)
“Y'know, I might have a decent vase for these somewhere…”
He gasped, “I should have bought one as well! I apologize, I must-!”
“-N-No, it’s fine Genos! Really!”
Again, our eyes met.
You're all I need.
My hands, delicate, rested upon his forearms.
Don't you know that?
“...Please, stay.”
And I might’ve said this a little too seriously.
For he coaxed me right back into his embrace.
“I am not going anywhere, Sensei.”
How great it’ll be just to sit with him once more, talk about anything and nothing, y’know?
To hold his hand making up for all the times I couldn’t.
Maybe I’ll forgive myself.
Hope for the future.
And just tell him how I feel. (It’s about time that I did.)
“...Um. Grab some tea for ya?”, I asked, breaking away.
I just wanna do all I can...
“Saitama-sensei, I have not forgotten my promise.”
“Oh, I know…”, I smiled back. “Me neither.”
...because I love him.
and now this is it,
such a future in our hands;
tea for two again