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The first time Eiji says, “I love you,” Ankh recalls how muffled the statement was. It was in some miscellaneous country and Ankh doesn’t even have to ability to say it back. He’s cracked in half, resting in Eiji’s palm and really only vaguely aware of the situation; he remembers the words however. He remembers Eiji’s voice.
It happens too fast, Ankh thinks. One moment Eiji is stumbling, still encased in the TaToBa combo, the next, the transformation is cancelling and Eiji’s body is falling to the earth.
The second time Eiji says, “I love you,” Ankh is alive once more (as alive as he could be) and Eiji is crying. Ankh can feel the wetness from Eiji’s eyes as he brings the Greeed in for a hug, desperate and clinging.
“You’re finally back.” Eiji mumbles into Ankh’s hair and Ankh just blinks because, for him, he had never really left. He’s unsure of what to do regardless so he just stands there and lets Eiji sob into his shoulder.
Ankh doesn’t even realize he’s started forward until he’s collapsed over Eiji’s broken body. His hands are quickly stained with blood as he shakes and grabs at Eiji. But Eiji’s not moving. He’s not moving, why isn’t he moving.
“Oi! Eiji.” Ankh snaps, quick and irritated. “Eiji, wake up!”
There’s no response, so Ankh grabs at him again, “Oi! Get up!”
Ankh shakes him once, twice, three times, repeating his name but Eiji’s eyes don’t open, his body doesn’t move, and soon Ankh’s shakes become weaker as his speech cracks, “Eiji?”
The third time Eiji says, “I love you,” Ankh is pretty sure that Eiji expects to hear it back but Ankh just stares at him, letting the words nest in his head. He doesn’t repeat it. Instead, he gives Eiji a brief huh before taking another bite of his ice. Eiji frowns and goes to say his name so Ankh decides to shove the ice in Eiji’s mouth to stop him from saying anything else.
When night comes, Ankh still hasn’t repeated it, but he sleeps in Eiji’s bed regardless. Clinging to him a little tighter than usual, wondering if he’ll ever be able to get those words out too.
Hina reaches them first. The enemy had since run off, both Date and Gotou only making a weak attempt to chase it, and Ankh is still stooped over Eiji, blood covering both of them. The front of Eiji’s shirt curled in his fist. The rest of him is silent.
Hina screams.
Ankh prefers it when Eiji says it at night, mumbled and lost into his shoulder. Ankh can feign sleep and has an excuse for remaining silent. When Eiji says it in the light of day, Ankh always stares at him before turning to look at his phone, ice, Chiyoko, anything other than the sadness that darkens Eiji’s eyes at his silence.
Ankh tried to give him a popsicle once, tried to say it some other way. The beginning of a rejection started to form in Eiji’s mouth, Ankh could see it, but before Ankh could pull his arm back, Eiji seemed to have swallowed it, taking the ice with a small smile and a brief, “Thank you.”
The words “I love you,” come less frequently after that.
Gotou grabs Ankh in one swift motion, pulling him away from Eiji as Date throws himself to his knees beside him, his finger quickly pressing themselves against Eiji’s throat, desperate for a pulse.
Ankh goes easy. Nearly collapsing into Gotou’s arms as he moves them, giving Date space. Hina’s beside them, her hand covering her own mouth, her face wet as her lips move in a desperate prayer.
It doesn’t take long for Date’s shoulders to fall and for him to push himself back into a standing position. He doesn’t face them when he says, “He’s gone.”
The stunned silence is almost deafening.
It’s a rainy Monday when Eiji almost says it again. Ankh can hear the beginnings of the statement form in Eiji’s mouth so he turns to look at him. But, when Eiji catches Ankh’s eyes he just swallows his words and smiles, laughing slightly, “It’s raining, Ankh, why are you still eating ice?”
They stand there, quiet, before, “You were nothing but a fool to me.”
Gotou, who had released Ankh when Date stood, starts forward at this, eyes damp and mouth ready to snap out some insult but Date grabs him and brings him back, shaking his head at Gotou’s confused gaze.
“That’s what I thought.” Ankh continues, taking a shaky step back towards Eiji’s fallen body. “‘I could use this fool.’ Your job was to collect medals so I could be complete. But…”
Kneeling now, Ankh brings his hand up, lightly touching the side of Eiji’s face, expression unreadable.
“Greeeds can’t feel love. We fight for what we want. We fight for ourselves. We cannot love.” Ankh’s hand clenches as his voice hitches, the beginnings of a sob waiting in his throat. He was a Greeed. Formed through the desire for completion, desire for what he could never have. He supposed this was fitting.
“I love you, Eiji.”
Ankh starts hearing, “I love you,” come from Eiji a lot. But it’s always directed in a different direction. To Hina, Chiyoko, even Date or Gotou. Ankh ignores the knocking in his chest and the emptiness in his shell when he curls up next to Eiji and all he hears is silence.
The others are silent as Ankh’s body’s wracked with another dry sob. He cries only briefly, his lithe frame almost seeming to break under the weight of such sorrow, before he goes unusually quiet. One of his hands, having made its way to Eiji’s shirt, is curled weakly into the blinding fabric while the other rests besides Eiji’s head, with Ankh’s face buried into Eiji’s shoulder.
“I love you,” Ankh mumbles again, lost in the fabric of Eiji’s shirt, lost into a world that seemed that much duller, lost to a man that didn’t live long enough to hear them.
The air goes still, till Ankh feels a gentle touch on his curls and snaps up to see Eiji weakly smiling at him, “Sorry, did I startle you?”
Unsurprisingly, the first urge Ankh has is to throttle him. Thankfully, Date is there to intervene. He swoops down on the opposite side of Eiji and begins to reexamine him, questions spilling from his mouth. Ankh simply sits there, stunned, staring blankly at Eiji whose gaze shifts consistently back and worth between him and Date.
Hina softly touches on his shoulder, which he jerks away from, as Date moves to help Eiji stand, and suddenly it’s all a bit too much for Ankh. He’s angry, and embarrassed, and too new to emotions to have a firm enough grasp on the plethora of feelings storming around his body. So he pulls back from Hina when she tries to approach him with a calming hand and glowers when Eiji, too, weakly reaches for him. His face is in a firm frown when Date gives out a small huff and gently urges Eiji forward. Eiji, of course, hesitates, his body too hardwired to care for others, and only moves forward when Ankh storms ahead of him, growling out, “You’re going to bleed to death, idiot,” as he passes them.
He doesn’t say anything else that day.
Ankh tries to say it to Eiji one day. His right arm is in its Greeed form, a habit he just can’t seem to break, and holding Eiji’s, his talons piercing Eiji’s skin lightly. This doesn’t seem to bother Eiji, who just stares at him, vaguely curious, mostly puzzled, but completely trusting. Ankh tightens his grip and licks his lips, swallowing hard.
“We’re out of premium ice.”
(Eiji tells him, with a frown, that it’s too cold for ice anyways.)
Eiji refuses a hospital. They compromise and he ends up at Shingo and Hina’s. The blood ends up coming from rather superficial wounds scatted across his chest and while he has several broken and cracked ribs, Date unwillingly admits to no major damage, which is partly why Eiji’s wins the compromise. Eiji is, however, confined to the bed for a week, but even Date knows the kid will break that in a matter of days.
It’s very close to midnight when everyone finally leaves Eiji. Everyone, except Ankh, who continues to sit, perched in a far corner of the room. He’s too angry to come any closer and too terrified to put anymore space between them. Eiji, of course, has no time for this.
“Ankh,” he says quietly, “Come here.”
Ankh continues to glare at him.
“Ankh.” Eiji repeats, his tone soft, pleading. Ankh steps forward.
He’s at Eiji’s bedside in a matter of seconds and before Eiji can push himself onto his elbows to get into a sitting position, Ankh is curled up beside him. His body is a light weight, but warm, as Ankh hooks one of his ankles around Eiji’s and presses himself firmly against the other’s side. Almost enough to hurt, almost.
Ankh’s arms stay stuck to his chest while one of Eiji’s comes to loop around Ankh’s shoulder, holding him close. Neither can bring themselves to speak first.
“I’ll kill you.” Ankh says suddenly, much to Eiji’s surprise. “If you ever do that to me again, I’ll kill you.”
Eiji laughs before he can stop it and then winces when the action sends sharp pains throughout his body. Ankh lifts his head up, alarmed, but Eiji pulls him back down quickly enough, his laughter subsiding. He means to say, “I’m sorry,” and “I won’t,” he truly does, but instead he whispers out a happy, “I love you,” into Ankh’s curls. Ankh stills, as he usually does, but something in him shifts and he relaxes in Eiji’s arms. Resting his head down, he stares at the other, his expression considerably calm, until finally, finally, he says, “I love you too.”
Hina finds them the next morning completely entangled, with almost every part of Ankh’s body pushed flush against Eiji’s. But, despite how warm and uncomfortable it must be, the heater was on almost full blast, Eiji looks practically serene. His head tilted just so to the side, with’s Ankh’s face practically shoved under it. The only sound that comes from them is the consistent, quiet, peaceful hum of Ankh snoring, and the occasional sigh from Eiji. Hina grins to herself and decides that letting them sleep for a few more minutes wouldn’t be that bad.
Eiji doesn’t expect it, but Ankh starts saying, “I love you,” a lot too. And then, Eiji realizes, Ankh had been saying it the whole time, just never vocally. Eiji grins, pleased with this revelation, as Ankh hands him the first ice from the new box, says a quick, “Thank you,” before pressing forward to press a soft kiss against Ankh’s mouth. Ankh makes almost an offended sound and looks rather stunned when Eiji pulls back. Eiji just laughs.
They’ll work on it.