Chapter Text
August was Laura's favorite month. The air in August hovered near stifling hot but by the end of the month, contained the promise of reprieve as it prepared to hand over summer to fall—the two seasons she always looked forward to the most as a kid. The first because it meant a break from school, and the second because of the promise of a new year. This particular August night delivered everything she loved about the month and more because, due to an unusually cool July in Silas, the fire flies emerged a few weeks later than they usually did and she could see them dancing in the dusky, warm sky.
It was a shame she had to watch it all from the window of the university's presidential mansion while holding a tray of red and white wine, which she offered to some of the university's elite. School didn't start up again for another week, but Perry called her and offered her the chance to earn a some extra cash and possibly get a chance to network with the university's most influential alumni and donors. But in the her black button up and with the tray in her hand, she was mostly ignored, unless someone wanted one the the glasses of wine she was holding. At least the money was good, she thought to herself as she took a moment to look outside and watch the way the sky sparkled as the fire flies danced around outside.
She must have lingered by the window too long because she heard a sigh behind her, followed by Perry's voice.
"Laura, what are you doing? Quit staring out the window and go find people to serve."
Laura should have been more apologetic. Perry had done her a favor in including her tonight, but she hated being here, with these people who paid attention to her only long enough to register what was on her tray before returning to their conversations. It wasn't a networking night for her. But she mumbled an apology and returned to the task at hand, offering a forced polite smile as they took a drink from her tray.
An unnamed man in a suit grabbed her last glass of wine from her tray, so Laura walked over to the bar where her friend LaFontaine was filling glasses for the servers to take onto the floor. LaFontaine was talking to a young woman, who wasn't adorned in the required black shirt and pants, which meant she must have been one of the invited guests. Whoever she was, she was making LaFontaine laugh so hard their face had turned bright red.
"Oh hey, Laura," LaFontaine said when they registered her presence. Laura placed her empty tray on the stack forming on her left. "How's it going out there?"
Laura answered with a sigh, shooting her eyebrows up high into her forehead, an expression which she knew LaFontaine would understand and then laugh at her for.
"It can't be all that bad, Cutie," she heard the girl say. It was at that point that she actually looked at her, and for a moment Laura Hollis, the girl who'd been told repeatedly as a child that she talked too much by all of her teachers and friends, was speechless. The young woman had dark hair that was pulled neatly into a bun at the top of her head, which served to highlight the features of her face, which were stunning. She wasn't convinced that Helen would have been blamed for starting the Trojan War if this woman had been there. Laura had admired plenty of beautiful women. Hell, she'd managed to bed a couple of very beautiful women, but this woman was in a league of her own. "You get bump elbows with some of the most important people in Silas."
Laura paused. She couldn't tell if this girl was being serious or sarcastic. But Laura felt the sting of being treated like the help all night, so she wasn't in a state to give any one of them the benefit of the doubt. Especially when this stranger felt she had the right to belittle her by calling her "Cutie," as if she was a show pony or prized doll.
"A little full of yourself?" Laura asked. Two hours into this event and she was not amused. She didn't care how beautiful this person was.
The woman smirked and looked over to LaFontaine who couldn't contain their laughter. The woman then took a sip from the glass of wine in her hand.
"Laura," LaFontaine said. "This is Carmilla Karnstein."
Laura stared at LaFontaine, waiting for them to elaborate, while the woman—Carmilla—took another sip of wine and winked at Laura, eliciting an eye roll from the server.
LaFontaine watched the scene before them and couldn't hold back a smirk at the whole exchange. But when Laura provided no evidence she knew what LaFontaine was even talking about LaFontaine couldn't hold back her own eye roll.
"This event is in honor of Carmilla's mom's promotion from Dean to President," they added.
Laura's eyes shot back up into her forehead and all the heat from the August air seemed to rush to her ears. But she panicked only for a brief moment before she composed herself. "I'm sorry for being rude," she mumbled under her breath. And before Carmilla or LaFontaine could say anything else, Laura took her next tray of wine and walked back into the crowd.
"So that was Laura?" Carmilla asked, turning around to face her friend after taking a moment to watch Laura retreat. "The same Laura you and Perry have been talking up for the last year."
LaFontaine shrugged their shoulders and then handed Carmilla another glass of wine. "She can be a little feisty," they conceded.
Carmilla raised her left eye brow. "'A little'? I thought she was going to kill me with the power of her glare."
"Aw. Poor Carmilla. She finally met a girl who didn't immediately fall for her charm," LaFontaine teased.
"Fuck off, LaF," Carmilla laughed and then took another sip from her glass.
LaFontaine smiled and then, when another server came to exchange trays, they turned their attention away from Carmilla. Carmilla took her phone out of her clutch and began her phone ritual: email, Instagram, her fantasy baseball team (which she'd deny to anyone if they ever found out about it). She was checking the stats in the Red Sox-Rays game when she heard her mother's voice.
"Carmilla," she hissed in a poorly disguised whisper and grabbed Carmilla's arm. "You're not here to chat with the hired help. Some of the most important people in the community are here and I expect my daughter not to hide out at the bar talking to the bar keep the whole night. This is a big night for me."
"Yes, mother. Sorry." Carmilla's response was rote but effective. She locked her phone and placed it back into her clutch and offered LaFontaine an apology by rolling her eyes and the raising her eyebrows up in a quick motion and followed her mother back into the crowd.
The President—it would take some time for her to get used to that term after referring to her mother as the Dean for so many years—led Carmilla to a small group standing near a cruiser table. Carmilla noticed the presence of a gorgeous blonde woman next to a man who looked to be the most prominent member of the group. She looked to be around her age. The girl noticed her and didn't even attempt to hide the fact that she was checking Carmilla out. Carmilla responded with a slight twitch of her lips as she kept her eyes on the beautiful woman. Meanwhile, her mother diverted the man's attention and after she'd spoken to him, he looked past her shoulder to seek Carmilla out.
“Carmilla," her mother said, “this is Congressman David Renchler."
The man smiled and extended his hand, which she took. ”Your mother tells me you just returned from studying at Oxford," he said.
Carmilla smiled. It had been more than two years, but she still found the admiration of the institution of Oxbridge a little weird, especially around guys like this for whom the degree merited his immediate awe and respect of her. But she also knew Oxford was the card her mother was going to play all night when it came to introducing and flaunting Carmilla around to her friends. So she decided to play her part. "Yes, sir," she said.
"I did my undergrad there—at Saint Peter's," he said. "Which college were you a part of?"
"Balliol."
"Wonderful. Wonderful. I tried to get my daughter to apply but she wanted to stay closer to home," he said, using his head to point to the young woman standing just beside him.
Carmilla extended her hand. "Carmilla," she said when the girl's hand met hers.
"Ell Renchler," she said. Carmilla kept her gaze on Ell's eyes and held her hand a little longer than was necessary.
"And where did you decide to go instead?” Carmilla asked Ell.
"Princeton," she answered. "But I did my MBA at Harvard." Her father beamed with pride beside her, while Carmilla tried not to judge this girl on the fact that she spent the best years of her life devoted to the study of Business. But she supposed Ell's course of study wouldn't matter for this one night. So she recovered quickly.
"That sounds far more impressive than anything I've done," she lied. But Ell smiled, which proved she said the right thing.
"And what do you plan on doing now?" the congressman asked.
"Carmilla is beginning a doctoral program here at Silas," her mother answered.
"Wanted to be closer to home?" the congressman asked.
It took all of Carmilla's strength not to show any scorn or distaste at the idea. She knew her mother would pounce on her if she didn't answer this question correctly.
"I can't deny that wasn't a major factor in my decision," she lied again, "but Silas also happens to have one of the best Political Philosophy programs in the country."
"A bit of a win-win," the congressman said, smiling in that trademark politician way.
Carmilla swallowed but also remembered to smile. "You could say that," she managed to squeak out.
"Carmilla, I think I saw an Edward Hopper painting in the foyer," Ell said, drawing the attention away from Carmilla for a moment. "Do you think you might be able to tell me more about it?"
Carmilla didn't know who Edward Hopper was, but Ell's invitation provided her a way out of this conversation, as well as a moment of quiet with a beautiful woman. "It would be my pleasure," she said, trying to hide the smirk that threatened to manifest from Ell's request.
She led Ell towards the foyer, and when she was sure her mother could no longer see her, she turned to her companion and offered her thanks, followed by, "Who the hell is Edward Hopper?"
Ell laughed and placed her hand on Carmilla's arm. "He's not important," she purred into Carmilla's ear.
At that same moment, Carmilla noticed Laura looking at her from about five feet away, drink tray in hand. Carmilla winked at her before turning her attention back to Ell, who she guided towards Laura and grabbed a glass of white wine from her tray. Her eyes lingered on Laura's long enough to see Laura roll her eyes, but Ell pulled her towards the foyer, away from where the server stood .
"Is this party ever going to end?" Laura said to LaFontaine a couple of minutes later as she placed her not-quite empty tray onto the bar. The cocktail hour was winding down and the guests were beginning to make their way into the backyard where tables had been set under a giant white canopy.
"After dinner I'm sure it will clear out. You'll get a break soon," LaFontaine said sympathetically.
Laura concentrated on her breathing for a few moments to calm herself. She wasn't being the best sport, if she was being honest with herself, and neither Perry nor LaFontaine deserved her bad attitude.
"My arms are really tired from holding that tray all night," she said by way of an excuse. She strived to herself to be better the rest of the night.
LaFontaine smiled sympathetically, and then asked, "So what'd you think of my friend Carmilla?"
Laura scrunched her eyebrows together as she regarded her friend. "Carmilla's your friend?" She'd thought Carmilla had simply come to the bar to refill her drink. She didn't know LaFontaine knew her.
"Yeah. We were in the same dorm hall as freshman. She's the one who got us this gig tonight."
"Oh," Laura said. "I didn't know that."
"She seemed to make quite an impression on you," LaFontaine pressed, smirking as she dried off a wine glass with a white towel.
Laura glared at LaFontaine before she sighed and smiled. "She called me 'Cutie' and I kind of lost it on her," she admitted. "I've been called 'cute' my whole life, so it's a bit of a trigger."
LaFontaine laughed. "I think she meant it as a compliment."
"Or she's a massive player who's arrogant enough to assume that that kind of flirting will lead to a hook up?"
LaFontaine furrowed her brows. "What are you—"
"I just saw her slinking off to a dark corner with some determined blonde on her arm," Laura said. "The girl was giving her her best 'fuck me eyes.' And then Carmilla caught me looking at the them and winked at me before she led said blonde away."
LaFontaine laughed again. "I guess a couple of years at Oxford didn't change much."
"Oxford?"
"She just finished a master's there. She was a Rhode's Scholar," LaFontaine explained.
"Wait. Really?"
"Yeah. She's easy to hate: beautiful and brilliant."
"And a stuck-up elitist," Laura added.
"Carmilla's not an elitist. Not by a long shot," LaFontaine quickly corrected. "But is she aware that she's gorgeous? Yeah. But she's not otherwise stuck up. She doesn't buy into any of this," they said, waving their arms in the general direction of the house. "You'll see," they added.
Laura's eyebrow shot up. "I will?" she asked doubtfully.
LaFontaine just smiled and shrugged their shoulders. "She sort of grows on you."
Laura didn't want to be rude, so she picked her tray back up, but before she left again, she said, "I'll take your word for it."
Carmilla and Ell were some of the last people to enter the dining area, and they found a couple of seats away from Carmilla's mother and Ell's father, which suited Carmilla just fine. She didn't expect her mother would care, and there wasn't an empty seat at her table, so Carmilla felt a sense of relief.
A man walked up to the podium at the far end of the canopy. Carmilla thought he identified himself as the president of the Silas Board of Trustees, but she stopped listening before his finished his first sentence, so she wasn't sure. She was too busy staring at the back corner of the canopy, near a door that would lead to the room where LaFontaine's make-shift bar was, where Laura was standing, arms crossed against her chest, her eyes focused on the speaker. Carmilla watched as Laura's face revealed a series of emotions while the man spoke. She'd furrow her eyebrows and then shake her head and then roll her eyes and smile—but not approvingly. It was more of a smile of incredulity or disbelief. It was amazing how expressive her face was. If Carmilla ever spoke to her for any length of time, she would advise her never to play poker: she had too many tells. But Carmilla couldn't tear her eyes away.
LaFontaine and Perry had mentioned her. They'd spoken of her acerbic wit, her tenacity, her brilliance in scholarship, her passion for truth and justice and equality. But they'd never spoken of her beauty—how her toffee-colored hair framed her face like a girl in a John William Waterhouse painting or the way her eyes reminded her of a soothing, warming shot of whiskey, the way her all-too-perfect lips seemed to invite her towards them. Carmilla couldn't stop looking at her. And it wasn't until Ell whispered in her ear that she tore her eyes away.
"Huh?" Carmilla inquired, looking now at Ell. She registered her voice in her ear, but she hadn't heard what she'd said.
Ell smiled. "Your mother is speaking," she said.
"Oh. Thanks."
And Carmilla was thankful. She knew her mother would find her during her speech and would expect her rapt attention. So she listened without comprehending, thinking not about her mother's words but of the way she imaged Laura would be reacting to them. And when she turned to see if she was right, Laura was no longer in that spot by the corner, and a brief glance around the room didn't reveal where she was. She sighed, and it drew Ell's attention, but she ignored the congressman's daughter's silent question and returned her attention to her mother.
Dinner was a buffet, which meant Laura didn't have to serve food. All that was required of her was to walk around with a bottle of white wine and look for glasses to refill. She was trying not to watch the clock, but she knew she had at least another hour to go before they could start to clean up and she could go home and get into her pajamas and continue the rest of the Peggy Carter-Natasha Romanov fanfic she was reading.
Laura's rotation had taken her past Carmilla's table a few times, and each time she passed Carmilla stopped her and asked for Laura to refill her glass. Laura knew when she was being mocked. The first time Carmilla got her attention she winked at Laura and said, "Thanks, Cutie," quietly enough so that only Laura heard. The second time her services were summoned, Carmilla asked if her night had improved and then winked at her again. The third time she was stopped, Carmilla's glass was still more than half full, as if Carmilla's only purpose was to annoy her and/or remind Laura of the differences in their positions. Laura was, after all, the hired help, and she couldn't afford to tell this girl to fuck off like she wanted to. Laura was grateful when, on her fourth pass by the table, she found Carmilla's place empty. She couldn't help but notice that the beautiful blonde's place was vacant, too.
Another forty-five minutes and the guests had mostly cleared out, and Perry's crew had been asked to begin cleaning so that the rest of the guests get the hint and start making their exits. Laura was in the process of dumping out half-drunk glasses of water and wine when LaFontaine found her. They looked a little rattled.
"Is everything okay, LaF?" Laura asked.
"Mostly," they answered, "but I have a huge favor to ask you."
"Shoot."
"I'm only asking you because neither Perry nor I can leave until we're all done here," they prefaced. "But I need you to get Carmilla out of here. Before her mom sees her."
"I'm sorry, what?"
LaFontaine looked around to make sure no one could hear them and then they leaned closer to Laura and said, "She's completely drunk—"
"Shocking," Laura scoffed. With the amount of wine Carmilla drank tonight, she wasn't surprised the girl was wasted.
LaFontaine ignored her. "She's completely drunk and I found her out in the garden with the girl she's been with all night and they were—It wasn't appropriate. And had I arrived five minutes later it would have been really bad," LaFontaine said, shuddering.
"Anyway, I had to break it up because Carmilla's mom would lay into her pretty badly if she found Carmilla behaving like that—especially on a night like tonight, so we need to get her out of here."
"What about the other girl?" Laura asked.
"I mean, she was pretty pissed at me that I stopped whatever was happening, but she didn't seem drunk. She didn't put up too much of a fuss after that and just left.
"Anyway, I know I'm asking you to move mountains, but I'm asking because I trust you and I'd trust Carmilla with my life, so I'm not putting either of you in danger and I need her somewhere safe and I don't trust that girl she was with at all, and—"
"LaF, what do you need me to do?" Laura asked, stopping LaFontaine's rambling. She already knew the answer, but she needed LaFontaine to confirm it.
LaFontaine took a deep breath. "Could you take her home with you and make sure she doesn't choke on her own vomit or anything? I'll pick her up first thing in the morning," LaFontaine added quickly. "You can just put her on your couch. Knowing Carmilla she won't stir the whole night."
"I didn't drive here tonight."
"I already thought that through. I'm going to get Kirsch to drive you guys home. I figured you'd need help getting her into your place anyway."
"Can't I take her to your place?" Laura asked. She didn't want to wake up and have to deal with Carmilla. "Or why can't I take her to one of the bedrooms in this place? It's her mother's house now after all."
"No. Here is definitely not an option, and she can't go to my place because I won't be there until late tonight and I don't want her to be alone. Please Laura. I'll bring you breakfast and a mocha and you'll have my eternal gratitude."
"Ugh. Fine," Laura said. "But you're going to owe me big time. I don't even know this girl I'm inviting into my home. And I'm sure Danny is going to lecture me for two hours tomorrow when she finds out and, I mean, why are you so invested in her well being anyway?"
“She—" LaFontaine stopped and then shook their head. "I'll tell you the story sometime. Now's not the time, though. Perry's probably freaking out right now. But, um, you'll take her? We'll pay you for your entire shift," they added. "You don't have to worry about that."
Laura bit her lip and the sighed. "Where is she?"
LaFontaine smiled. "Follow me."
LaFontaine led Laura to the kitchen and opened the pantry door, where Carmilla was curled up on the floor using a jacket as a pillow and another one draped over her as a blanket.
"LaF, you're sure this is all just the work of alcohol?" Laura asked, concern written all over her face.
LaFontaine just shrugged. "I really hope so. I hate to think of what the alternatives would be."
Laura nodded when LaFontaine told her she was going to go get Kirsch. When it she was sure they were alone, she leaned over Carmilla's sleeping form and placed her index finger just under her nostrils to make sure the girl was still breathing and then let out a deep breath when it was confirmed that she was. Laura stood up after that to wait for Kirsch to arrive.
About a minute later, Kirsch and LaFontaine returned. Kirsch greeted Laura and then bent over to pick Carmilla up from the pantry room floor.
"Thanks so much for doing this, guys," LaFontaine said, as Kirsch walked by them.
"No need to thank me," he insisted. "It's the duty of every Zeta to keep all hot chicks safe."
Laura shook her head but didn't correct him. She just wanted to be home, so she could get to bed and wake up and be rid of Carmilla. "I'll let you know when I get home. Text me tomorrow when you're on your way," she said to LaFontaine as she followed Kirsch out of the kitchen and into his car.
Laura let Kirsch ramble on about who-knows-what, but his presence calmed her. Things were so simple for him, and she envied that. She'd met Kirsch not long after she met Perry and LaFontaine. He was a friend of theirs and he seemed to show up for important things: birthdays, Perry's volunteer projects, LaFontaine's game nights. His enthusiasm was infectious, and even if he rarely made sense, he was hard not to like. He never took himself too seriously, and it was a quality that Laura envied.
"Hey, Kirsch," she said, interrupting a story about a Zeta rush who'd woken up one morning to find himself naked in the backyard of a neighboring sorority house. "Do you know Carmilla?"
"Yeah. A bit. We used to run into each other at these dinner parties Perry would throw in university."
"What do you think about her? LaFontaine talks about her like she's the second coming of Christ or something."
"I don't know her that well or anything," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "but she's always been cool with me."
"Huh," Laura huffed.
"You're not convinced?"
"No. I don't think so. I'm actually not sure," Laura amended. "I just can't figure her out."
Laura stared out the window as Kirsch passed the convenience store three blocks from her apartment. She was thankful he let the subject die after that. It wasn't until he put his car into park that he spoke again.
"I'll help you carry her up," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door.
Carmilla hadn't stirred the entire ride, and it was starting to freak Laura out.
"I've seen a lot of drunk people," she mused out loud, "but none of them ever acted like this."
"She'll be okay once she sleeps it off," Kirsch assured her. Laura hoped he was right. Regardless of what she thought about her, she didn't actually wish her any harm.
Kirsch carried Carmilla through to Laura's room, where he placed her on the bed. LaFontaine had told her to put her on the sofa, but Laura's mandate was to watch her, and she didn't want Carmilla to just up and disappear. LaFontaine would worry. And Laura was curious to know what happened to make Carmilla practically comatose for so long. Plus, she had her roommate Danny to consider, and she didn't want her to come home or wake up and find a complete stranger on her sofa. Danny was already going to flip her shit when she found out a stranger stayed at all. Laura didn't want to add anything to that lecture.
"Do you need anything else?" Kirsch asked after he put her on the bed.
Laura looked at Carmilla. She was still wearing her party dress, which looked phenomenal on her but also looked uncomfortable. She knew she'd have to find a way to get her out of the dress and into something else, but Kirsch couldn't help with that.
Laura turned to face Kirsch. "I'll be fine, but thank you."
He nodded, and she walked him out.
"You have my number. If you need anything you can call me," he said.
Laura nodded. "Thanks, Kirsch."
He smiled. "Good night, Laura. Good luck."
Laura shook her head and laughed. "Good night."
Carmilla woke up with a pounding headache in a small room that was neither her own nor one she recognized. She glanced to her right and left to see if the room's occupant was also in bed with her. She'd been in a situation like this before, though not for many years, but unlike the other time, she didn't find anyone else in bed. She looked down to her body and was puzzled that she wore a t-shirt. She didn't often wake up in a stranger's bed wearing clothes. But she was dressed in a gray shirt with the word NAVY written in black letters across her chest. She didn't own a Navy t-shirt. And while she wasn't wearing pants or shorts, her underwear was still on her body. Her bra, too, for that matter. After a quick, painful glance around the room, she saw her dress draped over the back of a chair by a small desk covered in tome-length books. The clock on the nightstand told her it was six thirty eight in the morning, the sun had only just begun rising if the gray light from the window was any indication, and she cursed her body for never allowing her to sleep more than a few hours after a night of heavy drinking. Thankfully, some kind soul left her a bottle of water and a bottle of Extra-Strength Tylenol next to the clock and she drank greedily from the bottle and helped herself to two tablets of the paracetamol—she was always a rebel—before pushing herself to a sitting position and carefully got up off the bed.
She opened the bedroom door to find a dark hallway. It was eerily quiet, but before she could investigate, she needed to find a bathroom because, well, she didn't remember much about the previous night, be she knew she drank a lot of alcohol, and her bladder needed reprieve.
Carmilla waited for the toilet to finish flushing before opening the door. She walked quietly to the other end of the hall that seemed to open up into a common room. The room was much darker than the bedroom, and she had to reorient her eyes to see where she was going, but before they could readjust, she stubbed her toe against the leg of what ended up being an end table. As she crouched forward in agony, she saw a sudden movement in the corner of her eye, and then she saw her—LaFontaine's friend from the party, the one she couldn't keep her eyes off of all night, the one who couldn't stop rolling those beautiful eyes at Carmilla, the one who was holding a stupidly tiny baseball bat—the kind a parent buys their kid at a baseball game.
"What did you think you were going to do with that ridiculous bat, Cupcake?" Carmilla asked, holding her hands up in mock surrender.
Laura put the bat down and brought a hand to her chest. "You scared the shit out of me."
"Imagine waking up in a strange place with no recollection how you got here."
"Sorry," Laura said. She didn't know why she was apologizing, but it felt like the right thing to do. "How are you feeling?"
Carmilla shrugged as she sat in the empty armchair next to the couch. "Not great."
Laura watched as Carmilla hugged her bare legs to her chest before tossing her one of the throws they left in a basket on the other side of the couch. She didn't need to have Carmilla half naked in front of her.
"Do you want me to make you a cup of coffee or tea or anything? We may also have orange juice."
"Give me a sec, cutie. I'm trying to piece together my night." Carmilla opened her eyes suddenly. "We didn’t— I mean—"
"No," Laura said quickly and loudly. "No. I slept out here all night."
"Good," Carmilla said, closing her eyes again and leaning her head back against the chair. "I'd hate to think I'd spent my chance with you on a night I couldn't remember."
Laura wasn't sure she'd heard her correctly and Carmilla curled herself into a ball on the chair, so Laura didn't ask her to clarify or repeat herself. Instead, she leaned back against the sofa and watched Carmilla's chest rise and fall as she breathed.
"Are you going to tell me why I ended up at your place, Cupcake?" Carmilla asked after a few minutes.
Laura was certain she'd fallen asleep again and jumped when she heard her voice.
"You're a jumpy little thing, aren't you?" Carmilla asked, laughing.
"I thought you'd fallen back to sleep."
Carmilla just raised an eyebrow at Laura as Laura settled back into the sofa again.
"Do you remember anything that happened last night?" Laura asked.
"I remember you not liking me," Carmilla laughed. "I remember you plying me with wine—"
"Um, you asked for every drop of that wine."
"Details," Carmilla said, shaking her head. "I remember a tall blonde my mother introduced me to, who was quite eager."
"Gross," Laura groaned from the sofa. Carmilla laughed.
"But I don't really remember anything after dinner."
"All I know is LaFontaine found you and the blonde doing something—they didn't specify, thank God—and removed you from the situation in case your mother found you. They said you were pretty out of it, so they hid you in the pantry and found me and begged me to get you out of there."
"Why didn't you just take me to LaF's?" Carmilla asked.
"I asked that too, but apparently they would be getting home too late and didn't want you to be left alone. You were basically comatose."
"Yeah. I've never been blackout drunk before. It's weird. And, I mean, I don't drink as much as I used to, but I lived in the UK for two years. I can usually hold my alcohol."
"You didn't move when Kirsch lifted you up from the pantry floor or when he put you into the car or took you out and placed you on my bed," Laura explained. "I must have checked if you were breathing a hundred times. It wasn't until I tried to put that shirt on you that you mumbled something and I was able to relax a little bit."
"So you're telling me that undressing me was a positive experience for you?"
Laura glared at Carmilla, and Carmilla laughed. But if Carmilla was making jokes, she must be feeling better, and that made Laura the slightest bit happy.
"I was worried about you," Laura said honestly. "I kept worrying someone had spiked your drink or something."
"I think that's exactly what happened," Carmilla said soberly. "I just can't figure out why."
"Who?"
"The entirely too eager, too-tall-for-me blonde daughter of a congressman."
"No. She wouldn't—"
"Why not? Because she's a girl? I wasn't around anyone else all night. And no one was near enough to my drinks, except for you, of course," Carmilla said with a wink.
"I would never—"
"I know, Cupcake. LaF wouldn't have sent me home with you last night or spent the last year talking you up if were capable of that."
"You knew about me?" Laura blushed the second the words flew out of her mouth. They'd just been talking about how Carmilla was likely roofied last night and Laura was focused on the fact that LaFontaine had spoken to Carmilla about her.
Carmilla laughed. "They've mentioned you once or twice."
Laura nodded. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm not sure," Carmilla said. She'd rarely been this vulnerable with anyone, let alone someone she'd just met. "I'll feel better when I know I didn't fuck anything up last night."
"LaF said the girl wasn't happy when they stopped whatever was going on with you." Laura hoped that bit of information would pacify Carmilla a bit.
Carmilla didn't say anything, but she did laugh humorlessly.
"You're sure I can't get you anything? LaF said they'd come come to get you at some point this morning. I don't think they expected you to be up just yet. But they promised to bring us breakfast."
Carmilla nodded then yawned. "Do you mind if I go back to bed for a bit?"
"Of course not. Were you comfortable?"
Carmilla nodded and got up. Laura had forgotten she wasn't wearing any pants and she averted her eyes.
"Help yourself to something to wear—for when LaF comes. You can just grab whatever."
Carmilla smiled and started walking back towards Laura's room. Just before she disappeared down the hall she stopped and turned back around. "Hey, Laura," she said, not speaking until Laura's eyes found hers. "Thank you for letting me stay here last night and for saving me from my mother and Ell and definitely myself."
Laura smiled. It was soft and warm and relaxed, and Carmilla couldn't help smiling reflexively when Laura said, "You're welcome, Carm."
Danny came out of her bedroom at seven thirty and woke Laura, who had also fallen back asleep after Carmilla returned to her room, by shaking her arm gently.
"Why are you on the couch?" Danny asked when Laura, who was laying on her stomach, turned to face her as Danny tied the laces on her tennis shoes.
"Because I'm sleeping. Or at least I was." Laura's answer was partially muffled by her pillow.
"I can see that, but why are you sleeping on the couch when you have a bed in your own bedroom?"
"Because I gallantly gave up my bed to a damsel in distress last night."
Danny rolled her eyes. "No, really," she pressed.
"That's really the answer, Danny. There's a girl in my room."
"And you're not—"
"It wasn't like that. Trust me. It's a long story. She's a friend of LaF's and she needed a place to crash."
"And LaF's place wasn't the logical choice for her to stay?"
"It's fine, Danny."
"So you're okay having a complete stranger spend the night in our house, your bed?"
This was the lecture Laura was expecting from her roommate. She just wished it wasn't while she was half asleep or after a night of unsatisfying sleep.
"LaF trusts her. They wouldn't put us in danger. The girl's an Oxford Rhodes Scholar, for Christ's sake. And we both survived the night, so I'm pretty sure we're in the clear."
"That's not the point, Laura."
"I know. I'm sorry. It was an extraordinary circumstance that I really don't want to go into right now. I don't plan on making a habit out of it. Don't worry."
"Okay," Danny said, nodding. "Okay. A Rhodes Scholar, huh?"
"That's what LaF said."
"There was a girl when I was an undergrad at Silas who got a Rhodes Scholarship. She was a giant asshole though."
"Carmilla's not terrible," Laura said, surprising herself.
"Carmilla? Carmilla Karnstein?" Danny asked in a voice an entire octave higher than her normal voice.
"Yeah. Do you know her? Wait. Is she the 'giant asshole'?" Laura couldn't help the laugh that escaped.
"I can't believe Carmilla fucking Karnstein is in my house. You're okay, right? She didn't try anything with you?"
"Try anything?" Laura asked, her eyebrows were furrowed together. "Other than some mild and annoying flirting at the the party, no. She wasn't in any position to try anything."
"Unbelievable."
"What did she do to you?"
Danny ignored the question. “Look, I have to meet the team for a run before practice, but be careful around her, okay? I'll be home for lunch."
Laura waved her goodbye and then rolled her eyes after Danny left. Danny was a great person and really good roommate, but she wasn't the most open-minded person in the world. She believed wholeheartedly in a binary construction of the world: black or white, good or evil. When Laura first met LaFontaine and explained their preferred pronouns, Danny argued with Laura about how it was "just weird. We're male or female. That's it. Those are our only options." Laura was thankful Danny had waited until after LaFontaine left that night to express her feelings, but Laura was not allowing Danny's outdated and, quite frankly, offensive opinions manifest themselves around LaFontaine. And to Danny's credit, she did come around and embrace that issue. But that didn't mean she wasn't still narrow-minded about other things.
Laura didn't even know why Danny's opinion of Carmilla bothered her. She'd had pretty similar feelings about her until she saw her curled up into herself on that pantry floor. And one early morning conversation about someone possibly slipping something into Carmilla's drink last night shouldn't have been enough to erase everything else about her opinion of Carmilla. But it did. Probably because it was Danny and Danny was always so sanctimonious and, even worse, made Laura feel like she was still under her dad's protective and overbearing gaze.
Carmilla woke up again just after nine thirty to the sound of voices somewhere far beyond Laura's closed bedroom door, but definitely inside the apartment. She hoped it meant LaFontaine had arrived and it wasn't Laura's roommate. Carmilla hated meeting new people. Plus, she didn't really feel any better, but maybe food and coffee and the knowledge that she'd soon be heading to her own place would make her feel better, and none of those things could happen until she got up. Taking Laura up on her offer, she opened a few drawers until she found a pair of pajama pants. She looked ridiculous in Laura's oversized NAVY t-shirt and Captain America pants, but it was better than the dress draped over the chair on the other side of the room.
"Nice of you to finally join us, Captain," LaFontaine said when she saw Carmilla.
Carmilla flipped her off and then sat in the same seat she'd sat in earlier that morning. Only this time Laura was nowhere to be found. Instead, LaFontaine and their boyfriend, JP, were in the space she had occupied. And they laughed at her when she greeted them with the rude gesture.
"Where's Laura?" Carmilla asked, ignoring her two idiot friends on the couch.
"She's in the bathroom," JP answered.
Carmilla nodded and then looked at LaFontaine. "I hope you brought me a large cup of coffee for dumping me with a complete stranger last night."
LaFontaine laughed again. "I thought sleeping in a pretty girl's bed was exactly in your wheelhouse."
Carmilla glared at them until they handed over a large McDonald's coffee. "You brought us McDonald's for breakfast? This is how you make it up to me and Laura?"
"McDonald's breakfast is a special treat," LaFontaine answered.
"Yeah. For five year olds."
"Please tell me you brought me the hotcakes," Laura said entering the room.
"Laura likes it," LaFontaine said to Carmilla, shrugging their shoulders and handing over a medium mocha to Laura.
"Laura also has Captain America pajama pants," Carmilla said, tugging on the fabric around her thigh. "You've basically just proved my point."
Laura smirked at Carmilla and then sat on the couch next to JP and opened her hotcake plate. "Whatever, pretentious Oxford snob."
Carmilla raised an eyebrow at Laura and the shook her head when Laura slathered her pancakes with syrup and took a giant bite while staring right at Carmilla.
LaFontaine held up an Egg McMuffin in one hand and blueberry muffin in the other. Carmilla took them both. "It was a rough night," she said when LaFontaine opened their mouth to protest. "And you left me in the care of someone who spent her night rolling her eyes at me."
LaFontaine looked over at JP. "This is the thanks I get for keeping her mom from finding out where she went and why she didn't say goodnight her mother."
"Or for asking me to begin researching a certain congressman and his daughter," JP interjected.
Laura's head shot up and Carmilla looked back and forth between LaFonfaine and JP.
"Right? Next time I'll just leave her to fend for herself and see what happens to the brilliant scholar who let her drink get spiked by an up and coming drug dealer."
That got Carmilla and Laura's attention. "Ell's a drug dealer?" Carmilla asked. "How'd you find that out, JP?"
"I'm a librarian, Carmilla. It's my job to know where to get information."
"And it helps that Jeep and I like to pretend we're Lisbeth Salander information vigilantes," LaFontaine added.
"So you hacked onto her computer?" Laura asked.
"Not exactly. We just went deep diving into the net and found some things," JP explained.
"Okay, but drug dealer or not, it doesn't explain why she spiked Carmilla's drink. Wouldn't offering her drugs actually be more effective for business?" Laura asked.
"Because she wasn't there to lure me into a life of addiction. She was acting for her father is my guess. And I bet it's connected to my mother somehow."
"We thought of that too," LaFontaine said. "We just haven't come up with much." Carmilla shrugged her shoulders. "You're okay though, right?"
"Other than being a pawn in one of my mother's political games and putting Laura out for the night, I'm okay."
"You didn't put me out," Laura said quickly.
Carmilla and LaFontaine looked at Laura at the same time. The former laughed quietly; the latter smirked. "Cupcake, you slept with a baseball bat—a poor excuse for one, but a baseball bat nonetheless," Carmilla said to Laura.
"Yeah, well I didn't know how you'd react to waking up in a strange place after a rough night," Laura grumbled as she ate a piece of sausage from her plate.
"This wasn't my first rodeo, Creampuff."
"Though it must of been the first time you spent the night alone," JP added.
LaFontaine laughed and Carmilla flipped them and JP off again. Laura, she noticed, had turned her attention to her pancakes. Carmilla could have sworn her cheeks were slightly pinker than they had been a minute ago.
"You'll find my reputation has been largely exaggerated," Carmilla said.
She wasn't sure why she felt the need to say it. She'd never been bothered by the things people had said about her before, and she did benefit from the insinuation, but it wasn't like she'd made a habit out of it or anything. She went through a short phase—6 months, maybe—in university where she was less discriminate, but she found it more trouble than it was worth, in all honesty. She'd spent two years in the UK and lived a near-celibate existence. Her flirtation with Ell the previous night was just that—a fun diversion from the banality of the event and, she knew, a way to mess with Laura. She never intended it to go anywhere. Especially not during an event where her mother would be scrutinizing her every move. She didn't even like Ell. She found her to be like most people in her mother's circle: power hungry and obsessed with money, and she avoided those people at all costs.
"If you say so," LaFontaine responded, shrugging their shoulders.
"So," Laura hedged cautiously, "what are you going to do about the drugging and potential conspiracy?"
Carmilla sighed. "Nothing. Avoid my mother as much as possible and go about my life. The usual."
"You're really not going to pursue this?" Laura asked incredulously.
"I've learned it's best to not get involved with my mother. Last night was unavoidable. I had to be there. But if people are trying to get to her through me they haven't done their research. Our relationship exists only for optics."
Laura stayed quiet, though Carmilla could see her mind was working in overdrive thinking about it.
"Honestly, it's not worth it," Carmilla said, guessing at Laura's thought process. "I came back to Silas because it's the best program in the country for my field of study with the added benefit of LaF and JP and Perry nearby. My mother being here—and being such a powerful public figure—is just an unfortunate coincidence."
Laura still looked uneasy, but she nodded.
"You'll have to forgive Laura's obsession. You've awakened her inner journalist. She can't help but want to get to the bottom of all this," LaFontaine explained as Laura blushed for real this time.
"You're studying journalism?" Carmilla asked. In all of their conversations about Laura, her field of study had never come up.
"No, I'm doing law right now. But my undergrad was in journalism."
"Huh," Carmilla said quietly to herself. And then she turned to Laura and said, "I wouldn't have guess law."
"What were you thinking?" Laura asked.
"Something in the humanities—maybe history."
Laura laughed. "Trust me, that's basically what law and journalism are."
LaFontaine took over the conversation after that, or rather after conversation died because Carmilla and Laura didn't have much to say to each other. But that wasn't true either because they were both curious about the other but neither felt comfortable pushing for more—especially not with LaFontaine and JP sitting there and especially not when Carmilla was covered in Laura's clothes. So LaFontaine talked about Perry's minor panic after Laura and Kirsch left with Carmilla and then her elation when the event coordinator praised Perry's company's service and food.
"We should probably head out," LaFontaine said to Laura fifteen minutes after Carmilla finished her sandwich. "I have to drop Carmilla off before I head to the lab."
"Oh," Laura said, furrowing her eyebrows. "Okay."
"What are you doing the rest of the day?" JP asked Laura.
"Nothing. Enjoy the waning moments of my summer hiatus before the crazy starts."
"You mean you're going to be reading fan fiction, don't you?" LaFontaine teased.
Laura blushed. "And if I am?" she asked in a way that was a challenge. There was no point in denying it and LaFontaine and JP both knew about it since they'd caught her obsessively on her phone in the corner of Perry and LaFontaine's apartment ignoring everyone else at one of their gatherings. She tried to play it off like she was reading an important article, but when Kirsch grabbed her phone and threw it to LaFontaine, who quickly read something from her screen. "OK, I was so not prepared to find myself in just my bra and underwear. Just my bra and underwear!" LaFontaine looked up with a smirk. "What the hell are you reading, L?" Laura quickly grabbed her phone from LaFontaine's hand and proceeded to explain the concept of fan fiction, and they still haven't let her live it down.
"The whole concept of fan fiction is really interesting, actually," Carmilla said, grabbing the room's attention, "particularly for queer storytelling."
"You're telling me you read fan fiction?" LaFontaine asked, eyebrow quirked in a look that didn't hide their shock.
"Well, no, that would require I watched TV or movies, wouldn't it? But that doesn't mean it doesn't have merit or that there aren't talented writers or intriguing narratives to be found. Don't be such a snob, LaF," she finished, while LaFontaine's jaw dropped and JP laughed.
"Thank you, Carmilla," Laura said with a smug expression directed at LaFontaine. "But do you really not watch TV?"
Carmilla shrugged. "It's not really my thing. I'd rather read a book."
"Now who's the snob," LaFontaine grumbled.
They left not long after the fan fiction discussion, and Carmilla, not wanting to dirty any more of Laura's clothes and not wanting to put on her dress, left wearing the NAVY t-shirt and the pajama pants. She hoped none of her neighbors saw her since she had an image to uphold, even if she did her best to pretend she didn't try that hard to achieve the cool and disaffected look she was aiming for.
LaFontaine was relentless on the short car ride to her apartment: "How'd it go?" "What'd you think about her?" "What'd you guys talk about?" "Do you want to see her again?" Carmilla didn't know how to answer any of that. What had transpired with Laura had been odd. On the one hand, it felt like a set up. LaFontaine and Perry talked about Laura all the time. But on the other hand, Laura didn't seem to know who Carmilla even was. Had LaFontaine and Perry not talked her up to the same degree? And if not, was it really a setup at all?
And then there was the puzzle of Laura herself. Carmilla didn't make a good first impression. She knew that. And her behavior the rest of the night—at least of what she could remember—didn't win her any favor. Honestly, she couldn't help herself. But then Laura seemed overly accommodating this morning, especially during their early morning talk, before LaFontaine and JP arrived. But even with them, being around Laura was easy. Carmilla felt she wanted to know her more—that much she knew. But she didn't know how to tell LaFontaine any of this, and she didn't really want to either.
So Carmilla spent the rest of her waning summer not thinking much about it. And neither LaFontaine nor Perry pushed her on it after Carmilla explained to Perry, a week after her mom's party, that she didn't want to talk about Laura, at least when any connotations between her and Laura were made. And they backed off.
Then school started, and Carmilla was busy with classes and her teaching schedule and conference paper submissions, and she wasn't thinking too much about Laura—at least not in the borderline obsessive way she has been the couple of weeks prior to the start of the school year. And it was probably the right thing to do because she knew that Laura wasn't thinking of her that way if at all. She still had her t-shirt and pajama pants though. She should have returned them by now, but she kept putting it off. Laura's clothes were the only connection she had to Laura, and she wasn't sure she wanted to give that up.
—-
Three weeks into the new semester and Laura was already buried in a pile of books and assignments. She'd not seen LaFontaine or Perry since the President's party, though they had invited her over to play some board game on Saturday night, and she couldn't refuse, even if her course load didn't look to abate until the semester break. And she definitely did not have time for a sit-down lunch with Danny, but she managed to squeeze some time for that, as she currently sat outside an on-campus cafe with Danny.
"I do not miss this place," Danny said, returning from the bathroom. She was an English teacher and volleyball coach at the local public high school. She and Laura met each other through a university ad Danny had posted looking for a roommate for the last year of her master's program, which coincided with Laura's first year of law school and first year at Silas. They hit it off immediately. And, though she'd never admit it now, Laura had a brief crush on Danny, which lasted until that incident with LaFontaine. They were better off as friends. Law school kept Laura too busy for a girlfriend anyway.
"What happened?" Laura asked, laughing because Danny looked flustered. It was a Saturday and Laura had been busy studying in the law library all morning and was happy for the break and the sunshine, so she really couldn't be bothered by whatever atrocity Danny was facing.
"A Zeta Omega Mu frat boy happened," Danny groaned. "Out of nowhere this guy comes over to me and asks if I drink milk. And I was confused, so I asked, 'What?' And then he said, and I quote, 'Do you drink milk? Because it sure did your body good.' I nearly punched him."
Laura scrunched her nose up in sympathy before she dipped a french fry in ketchup and stuck it in her mouth. Danny settled back in and began telling Laura about her students and her workload, and Laura welcomed the break from thinking about tax law.
Danny was in the middle of talking about a parent of one of her students who called her to tell her her son did not deserve a B+ on his paper when she saw her. Carmilla. She was with a cute blonde and they were standing up and gathering their things as if to leave, and Laura couldn't believe she hadn't seen them before.
"What are you looking at?" Danny asked, turning around to follow Laura's gaze. "Is that Carmilla? And Elsie?"
"Elsie?" Laura asked.
"She was in my hall freshman year. She and Carmilla were always together," Danny explained. "I think maybe they were together at one point? I'm not sure. I tried to avoid Karnstein at all costs."
Carmilla looped her bag over her shoulder, and as she adjusted her strap she looked up, then down and then did a quick double take. Laura watched the scene unfold with a smile on her face, so when Carmilla's eyes locked onto hers, Carmilla returned the smile. It was genuine and little bit shy, so unlike the smiles Laura's mind had imprinted from the night they met. She hadn't seen her since the morning following that night, and she forgot how beautiful she was.
"Well, she's walking over here," Laura said, giving Carmilla a small wave in addition to the smile.
"You're kid—"
"Hey, Cupcake," Carmilla said to Laura. She hadn't, to Laura's knowledge, registered Danny's presence.
"Hey."
"How have you been? LaF says they haven't seen you in a while."
"School's been kicking my ass," Laura admitted.
"Yeah, I know what you mean," she said smiling.
The conversation stopped and they were just staring at each other. It was Elsie who broke up whatever weird trance they were in.
"I'm Elsie, by the way," she said to Laura, extending her hand and glaring at Carmilla.
"Laura." She took Elsie's hand and gave the girl a smile. "And this is Danny," she said, acknowledging her friend. Elsie seemed to scrutinize Laura for a moment until Danny's introduction forced her to look away.
"Danny Lawrence," Elsie exclaimed. "I haven't seen you for years. How are you?"
Danny began speaking to Elsie, but Laura paid no attention. She was too busy looking at Carmilla, trying to figure her out, trying to reconcile the girl with all the bravado and confidence of the girl she met many weeks ago with this quiet, almost shy version in front of her now.
"Are you going to be LaF and Perry's tonight?" Laura finally asked. "They told me they invited you."
"I was planning on it," Carmilla answered. "Are you?"
"Yeah, I owe them some social time. I've been holing up in the library. I haven't seen them since that morning with you at my apartment."
Carmilla nodded. "Are you bringing Danny?"
Laura didn't understand the question or the look in Carmilla's eyes. They were tense, uncertain.
Laura's eyebrows furrowed. "Why would I bring Danny?"
"Oh. No reason," she fumbled. "I just thought—. Sorry, I assumed you were dating or something."
"No. Danny's my roommate," Laura giggled uncomfortably. "Just my roommate," she added for emphasis.
"Oh. Okay." Carmilla said nodding. "I wondered why LaFontaine hadn't mentioned anything if, you know..." She trailed off.
"Why would—"
"So you're Laura," Elsie said, dragging Laura's thoughts from trying to figure out the exchange she'd just had with Carmilla. "Carmilla's mentioned you a few times." Laura noticed Carmilla face went bright red as she glared at Elsie. "Assuming you're that Laura, that is."
Laura looked at Carmilla, one eyebrow raised in question.
"Laura helped rescue me from myself one night," Carmilla confirmed. "I still owe you for that," she said to Laura.
"I'd settle for getting my pajama pants and my dad's t-shirt back," she teased. She thought she saw Carmilla's face fall, and it puzzled her.
"Yeah. Sorry about that," Carmilla said. She looked embarrassed. "I guess I should let you get back to your lunch, but it was nice seeing you. And, I mean, I guess I'll see you tonight, so..."
"Yeah. I'll see you tonight."
"It was really nice meeting you, Laura," Elsie said with a wink that elicited an eye roll from Carmilla. "And it was great running into you, Danny."
Danny returned the salutation and Carmilla and Elsie walked away.
"So what just happened there?" Danny asked, leaning closer to Laura as if Laura had some big secret to reveal.
"What are you talking about?"
"You and Carmilla," Danny clarified. "You guys were staring at each other all googly-eyed and shy."
"What?" Laura exclaimed. "We were not."
Danny just looked at her, waiting to Laura to divulge more, but when Laura's gaze didn't falter, Danny shook her head and sighed. "Whatever you say, Hollis."
"That is literally the second time I've seen her," Laura said. "Besides, you don't even like her."
"I don't really know her," Danny admitted. "Just her reputation."
Laura snorted. "Really, Danny? Do you even hear yourself? You're judging a girl on what you've heard about her?" She shook her head. "And for that reason you warned me to 'be careful'?"
Danny didn't say anything and Laura didn't push it. She didn't feel like getting into an argument about someone she didn't even know. She knew Danny tried to be a good person, but she was often so self-righteous about it. Laura empathized with her a bit because she'd once been that way, too, but a year abroad and a couple of painful breakups really shook her up. Suddenly things that had been so easily categorized into good and bad were much harder to discern. And besides, she didn't require Danny's approval for anything beyond what picture might be hung in their shared living room. She steered the conversation away from Carmilla for the rest of lunch and then returned to the library the rest of the afternoon.
Carmilla arrived at Perry and LaFontaine's house just after eight o'clock. She was the last to arrive, bringing the company to an even six. Perry got up to take her coat and the bottle of wine she carried in her hand and welcomed her with a curt smile and then ushered her to the table, where everyone else was already seated, to the one empty seat beside Laura and perpendicular to JP. LaFontaine sat across from her. Laura smiled at her when she saw her and then laughed when LaFontaine reminded Carmilla that she was late.
Carmilla rolled her eyes. "I'm barely late."
"Thirty minutes," JP corrected.
"You'll get over it," she said mostly to LaFontaine.
"Yeah, but Perry may not," they said.
As if on cue, Perry entered the dining area carrying a casserole in her arms and wordlessly demanded everyone's attention. "Now that Carmilla has arrived," she said, pointedly glancing at her as she spoke, "dinner is served."
Carmilla mostly listened as everyone caught up on each other's lives. LaFontaine was on the verge of a breakthrough on their research, Perry's catering business was starting to take off, thanks to the event they did for Carmilla's mom, Kirsch talked about his new crop of fifth graders, all eager to start the new year, JP didn't really have an update, saying that the library was uneventful most days, and Laura talked about how her coursework was kicking her ass, and then she turned her head to Carmilla and smirked and told the group that she'd run into Carmilla with "some girl" earlier that day while she had lunch with Danny.
"I had coffee with Elsie," Carmilla said, shrugging her shoulders.
"Elsie? That girl you used to go around with in undergrad?" Perry asked.
"Elsie and I did not 'go around.'" Carmilla quickly corrected. "Elsie's like a sister to me. I've known her since high school."
"You mean you guys never..." LaFontaine turned their eyes down when Carmilla glared at them.
"We got drunk off of wine coolers when we were fifteen and made out until we both started giggling because it was so weird and stopped. That's literally all we ever did."
Carmilla was annoyed. She didn't mind the reputation that had formed about her, but she hated thinking someone she thought as a close friend thought that's who she was. Sure, LaFontaine witnessed that one period of her life when she earned this reputation, but it didn't take the sting she was feeling away.
"She seemed really nice," Laura offered, obviously trying to ease some of the tension, and Carmilla was grateful for the offering.
"She is," she said, throwing Laura a small smile.
Kirsch used the the lull in conversation to compliment Perry on her cooking, which Perry shrugged off with a small shake of the head. LaFontaine caught Carmilla's eyes and gave her an apologetic look. Carmilla nodded and hoped she didn't have to revisit this topic again.
LaFontaine and JP cleared the dishes from the table, while Perry refilled their drinks. JP began setting up the game—some new, cooperative game he'd wanted to try with really bizarre art. Carmilla wasn't one for board games, but JP had a relatively popular blog devoted to table-top gaming, so she'd learned to play along during their undergrad years. But cooperative games were less interesting to Carmilla. She enjoyed the competition. She enjoyed winning, especially if it meant beating LaFontaine, who was just as competitive as she was. Plus, they were much harder to win. And sure enough, they played the game three times and didn't manage to win once.
The night wasn't a complete loss. She found that she and Laura were usually in agreement on what guesses they should make, while LaFontaine, Perry, and Kirsch argued other choices. And when they did disagree, they argued so spectacularly that at one point Kirsch made some crack about them arguing like an old married couple and, another time, LaFontaine said it was a shame they weren't together because the make-up sex would probably be really good, and all Carmilla could do was glare at both of them while trying to ignore that Laura would just look down at the table and refuse to say anything until required by the game.
It was half past midnight when their third disastrous game ended, and Carmilla had a full day of reading and grading to attend to the following day, so she stood and reached back for her jacket.
"It's getting late and I have a lot to do tomorrow, so I'm going to head out," she said as she pushed her chair in. "Thanks for dinner, Perry, and I enjoyed the game, JP."
"It's only twelve thirty," LaFontaine said by way of protest. "When did you turn into such a old lady?"
Carmilla smirked. "Told you I was boring." She walked over to the sofa to grab her bag, and found that LaFontaine had stood up to walk her out. But as she was adjusting the strap of the bag on her shoulder, Laura appeared before them.
"I better get going, too," she said, tying a scarf around her neck.
"You guys are so lame," LaFontaine said.
They stood silently on the porch for a few moments after LaFontaine bid them goodnight and closed the door before Laura spoke.
"How are you getting home?" she asked.
"Oh, I, um, walked here. It's not too far and the weather's only going to get worse, so I'm taking advantage of the last few remaining nice nights."
Carmilla was thankful it was dark because she'd just rambled for some stupid reason. Laura had only asked her how she was getting home, not why. And when she looked at Laura, she saw her eyes trained on hers, a slight smirk playing across her face. "You?" she quickly asked, in an effort to deflect the attention away from herself.
"My bike's right there," she said, pointing to a parking sign in front of the house with a biked chained to it. "But I drank too much to ride it home, I think."
"In that case, let's get you home safely."
Laura just looked at Carmilla, biting her bottom lip. "You really don't have to do that. I'll be fine," she said, an odd sternness to her voice.
"I know that. It's just, according to LaF, we live only a couple of blocks apart, so you're kind of on my way."
"Oh," Laura said somewhat sheepishly. "Let me just unlock my bike."
Carmilla didn't say much as they walked through town, which didn't bother Laura, who measured her walk as she walked past familiar buildings: the bodega where she loved to eat lunch, the coffee shop with the truly life-changing hot chocolate flavors, the seafood restaurant that sent her home with food poisoning, and the Chinese restaurant that always sent her home with a couple of extra fortune cookies.
When they walked in front of the Anglerfish, a popular university bar, Laura finally spoke. "Was this your scene in your undergrad days?"
Laura didn't actually care, but the silence was starting to feel odd.
Carmilla stopped and looked at Laura, then looked beyond her to the locale in question, then smirked, then began walking again. "Only when another girl was buying. It wasn't really my scene."
Laura looked back at the bar and smiled. "Too many frat boys cramping your style?"
"Please," she said, rolling her eyes. "More like too hetero, too loud, and overpriced, shitty beer."
Laura laughed in agreement but then let the conversation die down.
"If I went out at all, I'd usually drive into the city and head to the gayborhood there," Carmilla volunteered. "But normally I was was in my room or the library or some coffee shop reading or writing."
"So you've always been a giant nerd is what you're telling me."
"Pretty much," she said with a light chuckle. "Elsie liked the Anglerfish, so I went a few times with her. I was a terrible wingman though."
Laura really laughed at that.
"What about you?" Carmilla asked. "Where do you spend most of your time?"
Laura sighed. "These days I'm usually in the law library or in my house. Occasionally I'll force myself out to study, but I find coffee shops completely distracting, so I usually have to find a solitary spot."
"Oh man, you're just as boring as I am," Carmilla remarked with a smile.
“I guess. I’ve never intentionally been anti-social. It’s just my interests tend not to appeal to the general population. I have this entire online community that sort of gets it though,” she laughed, a bit self-consciously. “And now school’s my barrier. My law courses are constantly kicking my ass, so I have no choice but to become a shut-in while I manage that because I’m definitely one of those people who has to work her ass off for every good mark.”
“Doesn’t that get exhausting?” Carmilla asked. “I mean, you have to set aside some time for you to kick back, right? Do something for just you.”
Laura nodded. “I’m still trying to figure out how to do that and not fail out of law school,” she said honestly. She avoided Carmilla’s eyes, and when she looked up, she was relieved to see her building was just the next house over. “This is me.” She pointed at the three-story house Victorian house that had been converted into four apartments. She and Danny lived on the ground floor.
“That’s even closer to me than I remember it being,” Carmilla said, looking at the house.
“Thanks for walking with me,” Laura said sincerely.
“Yeah. My pleasure.”
“You’ll be okay by yourself the rest of the way?”
Carmilla nodded and then looked off in what was likely the direction she’d continue to walk. “It’s only a few blocks away; I’ll be fine.”
“Okay, so…” Laura didn’t know what she was waiting for, exactly, but Carmilla hadn’t said goodbye either.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Carmilla said, reaching into her bag. “I remembered to bring these with me since I knew I’d see you tonight.” She pulled out her pajama pants and t-shirt, which were both neatly rolled and held together by hair bands. “I’m sorry it took me so long to return these, but thanks for letting me use them that night. Actually, thanks for coming to my rescue in general that night.”
She rambled in a way Carmilla never rambled, and Laura thought it was somewhat charming how unsure she was.
“Anyway,” she said, as if remembering her purpose, “they’ve both been washed.”
“Thanks,” Laura said as Carmilla handed them over. She didn’t know what else to say, and Carmilla still hadn’t made any steps towards leaving. “So I’m just going to…” Laura gestured towards the front door.
Carmilla took a breath and then shook her head, smiling. “Right, sorry.” She still didn’t move, and Laura felt the awkwardness building between them.
“Hey, listen,” Carmilla said, not looking up from the ground. “Elsie gave me tickets to the opening night of this art exhibit her boyfriend is curating downtown, and I know you just finished telling me you have no time for extracurricular activities, but I don’t know who else to ask. And, I mean, you seemed pretty into the art in that game we played tonight, so I thought I’d ask. It’s Friday night.” Carmilla sighed loudly and kept her eyes down.
“Oh, um…”
“It’s okay if you don’t want to go. I just thought I’d put it out there.”
Laura could hear the hurt in Carmilla’s voice, and the whole thing threw her. Was there really no one else Carmilla could ask? Was Carmilla asking her out? Like, on a date? She barely knew her, and the first time they met, she didn’t even like her.
“No, it’s not that,” Laura said. “But, just to be clear, you aren’t asking me on a date, are you? Because I don’t have time to even think about dating anyone and, I mean—“
“I didn’t ask you for dinner, Cupcake,” she said, smirking and sounding much more confident than she had moments before. “It’s just an art show that I happen to have tickets to, and you’re not horrible company, so…”
“Oh,” Laura said, laughing. She didn’t know if she was disappointed or relieved. “Okay,” she said to herself, nodding. “Okay,” she said to Carmilla.
“Okay?” Carmilla asked, raising her left eyebrow.
“Yeah. Friday night. It’s a not-date,” Laura said smiling.
“Okay,” Carmilla said. She looked relieved.
They exchanged numbers and Carmilla said she’d text the details, and they finally managed to say goodbye.
Once she got inside, Laura quickly went to the living room window and watched Carmilla walk away.