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He stands on that horrible beach again, but for the first time. This wouldn't even be the first time something like that had happened, but this was indeed unprecedented. He wasn't even himself. He wasn't even a Time Lord anymore. He listened to his single heart beating frantically in his chest, but he didn't exactly feel human either. He looked to his… the fully Time Lord Doctor, and felt disdain. HE was going to do something monumentally stupid. He looks over at Rose. All the memories of their adventures together play in his mind like a movie, and that's all it feels like too. He can remember all the choices HE made, the feelings behind them, but now he disagrees with the decisions made. He continues to study Rose, trying to remember the feelings he had previously held for her. All he can come up with is a fondness almost familial in nature. Not the overwhelming passion he could remember having for her before waking up in the TARDIS. He turns to look at Donna as his heart seems to stutter in his chest. He feels a nearly overwhelming desire to go hold her hand. Huh... That's new. She was spouting something about retro closers, and he felt the very distinct and disturbing need to snog her. The Doctor was talking about being home. He could hear Rose's incredulous response. Yup HE was doing something stupid. HE hadn't even thought about anyone else's feelings. No of course not. HE was too busy feeding his martyr complex. The bloody git. Oh, and now HE was calling him the cost of saving the multi-verse. The self-righteous ponce.
"You made me." His words are for his double but he is looking at Donna. His heart aching with the thought that Donna is ashamed of him, or that she might not want him around either. She is silent on the matter.
He comes to the startling revelation that the great big moron was trying to pawn Rose off on him. Great. Wonderful. Fantastic. He stops listening to them going back and forth, and instead concentrates on the feeling of Donna in his mind. It's more than a two-way biological metacrisis. He feels what she is feeling even now, and that's more than he should be able to sense, even if they were both fully Time Lord. It almost feels like a Gallifreyan Matrimonial Bond. Oh! That explains a couple of things. He has been wondering why her head hadn't exploded. He carefully caresses that place in his mind that connects to hers, and watches in satisfaction as Donna shivers. He smirks. She was staring at him in shock as the implications of that stroke brake across her face. Through the link he feels her shock at her own desire for him. He leers. He feels her indignation and the equivalent of a mental slap. That's his Donna he thinks affectionately. He starts listening to the other two now, right as Rose says they weren't the same man, he couldn't agree more. The Doctor's response of him needing her, that being very HIM, causes him to snort. That seems to get the Doctor's attention.
"Oh no," he says as he nods at Rose, "she's right I'm not you. Same face, same memories, TOTALLY different feelings. I mean not to be rude or anything." He turns back to Rose now. "But I don't feel the same way about you that he does."
The Doctor's incredulous cry of, "What?" comes at the same time as Rose pleads, "And how does he feel about me?"
He thinks about answering her question. He could really save the big dumbo some pain and just get it over with for him. He feels Donna then, in his mind, prodding him to leave it for HIM to say. ‘You really need to hear “Those Words” for the first time coming directly from the person, not an intermediary.’ He feels his desire, love, and admiration for her expanding in his chest, and smiles as he watches her blush.
"WHAT?" The Doctor apparently still was not getting it.
He sighs and turns back to Rose and says, "That's for him to tell you. Not that he will, the stupid dumbo."
Rose rears back as if he has slapped her. He realizes she HAD been thinking they were the same man, up until that point arty least. ‘I hope I haven't offended my future sister-in-law.' He makes sure to broadcast that thought in a way that he knows the Time Lord could hear, and takes great satisfaction at the strangled off cry he hears from the other man. He finally looks back at the Doctor. HE looks like someone had just told HIM the multi-verse was still going to blow up.
Donna shoves the Doctor toward Rose. "Tell her time boy."
The Doctor stumbles forward as Rose steps closer. HE was opening and closing his mouth like a landed guppy. Rose ever knowing how to handle the Doctor took the initiative.
"The last time we were on this beach, what was the last thing you said to me?" she asks.
"I said Rose Tyler…," HE begins and then stalls as HE stares at her.
He hopes he isn't as stupid as his predecessor is, and decides he won't even pretend to be that repressed. He shows Donna his desire to find the nearest horizontal surface as soon as they are safely in the vortex. He feels her amusement and embarrassment. Then on the heels of those wonderful emotions, comes her horror. His eyes snap to hers from where they had been perusing her body.
‘We could be brother and sister, two way metacrisis.’
‘Oh... How do you feel about that kind of thing?’
He feels her indignation and outrage, hiding her pain and anguish. His chest constricts.
‘Well that might be just fine on Gallifrey, sunshine, but on Earth that is just WRONG.’
‘You know as well as I do that, is also taboo on Gallifrey. Hell so is fraternizing with "inferior" species. We're BONDED Donna, I know, you know what that means. There's no going back.’
He feels her hurt and confusion her fear and stubbornness, and he realizes he was taking out his anger and frustration on her.
‘Okay.’ He forces himself to calm down. ‘First thing we'll do, as soon as we're safely in the vortex is go to the infirmary to do some genetic tests. Then, when we know more we can decide where to go from there.’
‘I'm not mating with my brother.’ Their bond fills with her stubborn determination.
‘Of course not...What if you're my mummy?’ He thinks back trying to make light of the situation.
The mental slap he receives is in no way playful. In fact, it nearly knocks him unconscious. Right, never tease a sexually frustrated bondsmate about sex. Yep that was going right up there with, never upset Jackie Tyler, and don’t taunt a Falgulian demon bear. He turns to see if his brother has overheard the mental conversation, and does a double take. They were snogging. Not a we-saved-the-world snog either, this was closer to a I'm-gonna-take-you-right-here-and-now snog. What had he missed? He quickly replays the conversation that he had not paid attention to.
~~
"Right and how was that sentence going to end?" Rose asked nearly breathless.
The Doctor continued with his fish impression for a few more seconds. Seeming to steel himself, he stepped forward, leaned down so his mouth was next to her ear, and whispered his answer. Pulling back, he watched her face intensely, trying to hide his fear. Rose stood there for a moment without moving, then seemed to come out of whatever trance she was in and grabbed the Doctor by the tie and met his lips with hers.
~~
Their snogging continues. Rassilon, how are they breathing? Rose doesn't have a respiratory bypass, does she? He realizes Dumbo had never done a full genetic mark up on her after the events on the Gamestation. Negligent b... he realizes with a start he is jealous. He has no romantic feelings for Rose what so ever, so why is he jealous. He looks over at Donna. She had blocked him out, not totally, because that would be impossible, but still enough to make him uncomfortable. He can still feel her hurt, the pain that he had caused and he cursed himself. He threw his side of the bond wide open, sending her his love and apology. He broadcast how sorry he is for being an idiot; that he had been joking; he would never force her into something. That if they are genetically related, he won't ever go there and he will stay with her, no matter what happens. The bond is keeping her alive, he loves her, and even if they never complete the bond, he will stay. He would live the rest of his life in sexually frustrated misery, with joy, so long as she is happy and alive.
He feels the tentative tendrils of Donna's thoughts as they whisper in his mind, ‘You really feel that way?’
‘Of course I do.’ He invites her into his emotions, let’s her swim through them. He feels her reel from his sincerity, blush at the force of his desire, and the instant she realized he would hold his passions back for her, indefinitely if he had to. She shows him that with the bond driving them on, he physically won't be able to.
‘There's three of us now Donna, we'll be able to find a way.’ Nevertheless, he is terrified that they won't. That he could do the unthinkable, hurt his Donna. Where is this coming from, this... need? What is wrong with him? He had never been this... out of control as a Time Lord. He looked back at the Doctor. Yep, they were still snogging. Had they all been infected with some alien aphrodisiac on the Dalek Crucible? Two words seemed to float into his brain from nowhere. Biological Imperative. Fantastic. They are going to repopulate the species. Another fantasy floats into his head; yep he was defiantly randy enough to repopulate the species. Wait… that fantasy had come from Donna. He jerks his head to look at her. She is flushing brilliantly.
He looks up into the overcast sky. ‘Rassilon PLEASE let us be genetically unrelated. I won’t survive if we are.’
The TARDIS makes an impatient noise, which finally brakes up the snogging couple. The Doctor is flushed as he pulls back to look at Rose. "Right," HE says as he tries to pull himself together, "So... Rose Tyler, do you still want to travel... with me?" be finishes almost uncertainly. Yeah, as if a woman searches the entire multi-verse to find you, and snogs you senseless before deciding she doesn't want you.
"With us?" he corrects.
That seems to clear the rest of the Doctor's fog.
Rose's answering, "YES!" comes at the same time, as the Doctor's incredulous, "WHAT?"
He smirks. "Weellllll. Rose is coming with us for you," he says pointing at the Doctor, "I'm coming, a little because the TARDIS is still sort of mine and a LOT because I'm hers." He points at Donna. In a quieter almost conspiratorial tone, he continues, "And I think she just might fancy me." He gives her a conspiratorial wink and a lascivious grin. Rose giggles, but the Doctor just looks horrified.
"WHAT! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, just a, just wait. Are you...," the Doctor stutters seemingly unable to finish a thought.
"Yep," he says popping the p, "I was born bonded," he ends over-pronouncing the b's
"I hate to interrupt, but walls of the universe closing forever and everything," Donna calls from behind the Doctor.
The Doctor looks like he was trying to give himself whiplash, with the way his head is going back and forth between his duplicate and Donna. He sighs giving up on the Time Lord for now, and looks at Rose. He nods toward Jackie and Rose nods back. Stepping away from the Doctor, she walks toward her mother.
"Mum...," she starts quietly and tears are welling in her eyes.
"I know sweetheart. Your father's on his way, he's bringing Tony with him." Jackie smiles, still on the verge of tears herself.
Rose nods. "Tell them I love them." Jackie nods as tears fall down her face. "I love you mum."
"I love you too sweet heart," she says pulling Rose into a bear hug. "Make sure he treats you right," she whispers, looking at the duplicate over Rose's shoulder. He smiles in promise.
"Alright, everybody into the TARDIS. You too time boy," Donna says to the still flabbergasted Time Lord.
He follows Donna into the TARDIS. As he passes, the Doctor snags his arm and looks him in the eye. "We need to talk as soon as this is done." He sighs, and continues onto the TARDIS, shaking his head at the Time Lord.
He joins Donna at the console and helps her prep for dematerialization. Jackie's voice drifts in thought the doors
"You promise me you'll take care of her, that she'll come first."
The Doctor's somewhat stoic response of, "I promise," makes him slightly sick. He'd make sure the moron would though. Rose came up the ramp followed by the Doctor who closed the doors and joined them at the console. They are silent as they pilot the TARDIS to the other universe. Rose sits on the jump seat pulling herself together. Once they are safely parked in the vortex he takes a deep breath trying to center himself.
"Everyone to the infirmary," he commands.
Donna starts moving instantly.
"What?" Is the simultaneous reply from the other two.
He sighs as he watches Donna leave. He knows she is going to prep all the tests while he explains things. Wonderful division of labor, it felt simply domestic. Now that word has completely the opposite feeling attached to it. He turns back to the others.
"We need to see how far the metacrisis went. I thought we might as well check on Rose too while we're at it. And if the metacrisis went the way I'm afraid it did we'll need your help fixing or at least coping with it."
The Doctor lowers his face dejectedly, “You know what we'll have to do if it did,” he bites out angrily.
"Like Bloody Hell!" he yells, ready to fight to protect his bondsmate.
"What are you two talking about?" Rose demands in frustration.
He took several deep breaths trying to calm himself. When it became apparent the Doctor wasn't going to answer, he snaps. Turning to Rose, he starts ranting with barely controlled rage.
"The metacrisis went both ways, I might be part human, part Donna, She's part Time Lord, part me, we’re bonded, I was born bonded to her," at Rose's blank stare, he looks up to the TARDIS, takes another deep breath, then looks back at her. "She might be my sister," still she did not show the comprehension he is looking for. "I might be MARRIED to my SISTER." There it was; the horror, shock, and pity he was looking for. "Yep and that's not all," He says like some sick game show announcer, "Humans can't handle a Time Lord consciousness Rose. The Metacrisis should have killed her, but somehow the bond is keeping her mind stable. So, if we are siblings and out of decency we cut the bond she'll die. So here we are. If she's my sister I can go against nature and let the unfulfilled bond slowly drive us both insane or break it and let her die." He turns to the Doctor who was projecting his rage and pity and in a deadly quiet voice said, "I won’t let you kill her."
"A memory-," the Doctor starts.
He cuts him off with the yell "SHE'D RATHER DIE!" He feels Donna's calming emotions spreading over him like a balm. He continues much quieter now, "This is all just speculation until we do the tests."
"Why do you want to check on me then?" asks Rose
"Well to start, the great big outer space dunce didn't ever scan you after the Gamestation; also I'd like to know if all the dimension jumping did any damage."
She nods her accent, hops off the jump seat and heads back toward the infirmary. She gives his arm a squeeze as she passes and murmurs, "It'll be okay," before heading out of the console room.
The Doctor fixes him with a hard glare.
"She's my bondsmate," he says brokenly.
"And how does that feel?" the Doctor asks with genuine curiosity, laced with pity.
"Fantastic!" he exclaims on a sob.
The Doctor closes the space between them and catches him in a hug. He holds onto this man who is sort of his brother, sort of his father and almost himself and tries to keep it together.
"Dalek Caan said that one of you would still die," the Doctor whispers.
Another choked sob escapes him, "Then Rassilon let it be me. If we can find a way to stabilize the Time Lord consciousness without the bond, we can still save her." He straightens from the Doctor's hold, "Donna says the tests are ready to go," he says as he forcefully shoves his emotions back into the box they've escaped from.
~~~~
As they enter the infirmary together, they find Rose and Donna standing at a console examining a DNA strand. They join the women, peering over their shoulders.
The Doctor puts on his specs. "This is ancient Gallifreyan DNA, halfway to being Time Lord TNA. That's impossible."
"You aren't half pompace," he says staring at the Doctor, "When are you gonna get it through your thick Time Lord brain that you have no idea what impossible means."
The Doctor stares at Donna, "But how is that possible, I thought..."
"Oh no sunshine that's Rose's DNA," Donna says, still looking at the readout.
"What? But… How? I… What?" the Doctor sounds more lost with every syllable that comes out of his mouth.
"Bad Wolf," he says solemnly. The others turn to him, concern, terror, and curiosity writ on their faces.
"What?" the now ashen-faced Doctor breaths.
He shrugs. "She:" he starts ticking off his fingers" piloted the TARDIS; turned an entire Dalek fleet to dust; made Jack immortal; and that's just what you saw her do. I think that, yeah, she could probably turn herself Gallifreyan."
"Wait I'm like you now?" Rose asks as she looks at the Doctor. He nods mutely. "You mean I'll live as long as you now?" Again, he nods. She lets out a squeal of delight and jumps into the Doctor's arms to kiss him.
"Aaaannd they're snogging again. Yep just rub it in," he grumbles. Donna elbows him. He sighs, "Alright let’s get this over with."
~~~~
"What's the verdict?" he asks apprehensively as he gets up from the full body scanner and joins the others at the display screen. Their silence is unnerving him. When he looks at the screen, and understands their disbelief. As the Doctor mumbles, "impossible," He crows, "I'm a full Time Lord!" He grabs Donna intent on snogging her senseless. Just before his lips touch hers, she shoves him away.
"Oi, I still may be related."
"Right, right," he sighs, trying to take back control of his body.
"But you only have one heart," Rose brings out.
He may not have any romantic feelings for her but his pride for her swells. It feels more like she's his clever little sister. He smiles broadly as he whispers to Donna, "your turn," He watches her walk to the full body scanner as his brother launches into lecture mode.
"Regeneration error. Dodgy process could end up with two heads, no head... anything really. Once knew someone that spent an entire regeneration looking like a Ridghilian Slug person. She was a bit off her rocker that one. Decided she wanted to tinker with her genetic code. She left a slime trail-"
"So he'll regenerate? Like you?" Rose asks, trying to get him back on track.
"Hmmm? Oh! Yes, he should be able to."
"Sooo? Will you both always look the same?"
"Probably not," the Doctor hedges.
"NO!" he says probably a little too forcefully. He looked up from the completed scan as the computer compiles the data, to see Rose’s confusion.
"Umm...," the Doctor begins.
Donna hops off the scanner and sighs, gaining Rose's attention, "Time Lords can somewhat control what they look like during a regeneration. He's just never been very good at it," she says pointing to the Doctor.
"Hey!" the Doctor exclaims, "I did this didn't I," he says proudly, waving his hand around his face.
"You did what?" asks Rose in amusement.
"What?" the Doctor asks, trying, and failing, to look innocent.
He watches this exchange with a great amount of fondness. Turning to Donna as she joins him at the screen, he takes her hand and threads his fingers through hers. She squeezed his hand as the computer beeps with the results. The other two fall silent and rejoin them at the screen. Everyone seems to hold their breath as he queues up the results of the scan.
"That looks like my scan," Rose sounds confused, but still is able to sum it up quite nicely.
"Ancient Gallifreyan DNA, halfway to being Time Lord TNA," he echoes the Doctor's previous diagnoses.
"How is that possible," the Doctor breathes.
"Huon Particles," Donna says with quite reverence.
As the others stare at her, he taps into what she is remembering. The Huon Particles surrounding her, looking a lot like Rose as the Bad Wolf. What a coincidence. The scan the Doctor conducted to confirm the particles were gone, but none to see if they had any other ill effects on her. She must have been changing the entire time, slowly at first, with no Time Lord conscience to oversee the matter. Then… It wasn't a Metacrisis at all. It was closer to a Biogenetic Homogeneous Catalysis.
"Huh?" Rose asks, sounding bewildered and confused. He realizes he had been talking aloud and decides to finish the thought.
"She jump started my motor." He grins at Rose, turns back to Donna, and continues, "Here I am a hand in a jar surrounded and suffused with regeneration energy, and I have no IDEA how to start the process. Then Donna comes along and touches the jar, and WHAM! I start to regenerate... well, generate more accurately. And, because I'm generating, and don't exactly have conscious thought yet, and she touched me at such an intimate time, I grabbed on and bonded. Then, that whole business with Davros; the shock he gave you was JUST the amount of energy you needed to seat the bond and by extension the Time Lord consciousness in your mind so you wouldn't fry."
Donna was still staring at the monitor fiddling with the computer while he was on his informational rant, and now he felt her elation and a desire to match his own well up in her. He glances at the monitor to see what information has affected her like this. He barely catches the comparative genetic test results on the screen before Donna's arms are around his neck and her lips are claiming his. No match flashes on the screen as his hands grip her bum and he snogs her back. His time sense flees him and he has no idea how long they’ve been snogging before she starts to pull back and the room seems to come back into focus. He can hear feminine giggles and someone clearing their throat somewhere behind Donna. He pulls back and glowers at his brother over Donna's shoulder.
"Yes, well. I think it would be a good idea if you found a more private area to... complete the bond," the Doctor suggests as he tugs on his ear in embarrassed amusement.
He can feel Donna's grin where she's hiding her face in his neck. He offers a grin to the Doctor.
"And that will give you a chance to talk to Rose about bonding," he says with a cheeky wink.
He takes Donna's hand and runs out of the infirmary to the sounds of the Doctor's splutter and Rose's suggestive voice saying, "Yes Doctor, tell me about bonding."