Archive of Our Own ^beta

Shooting at John was a mistake. He knows that now. It was a rather rash decision because his emotions had gotten the better of him.

He isn’t like this, not governed by his emotions, prone to irrational acts because of his feelings.

Unless John’s concerned. Then something just … unravels inside him. Not always, but more times than he likes. And definitely more than is becoming for someone in his position. He shouldn’t care if John lives or dies as long as he doesn’t hurt the organization.

But the thing is … it does matter, to Jedikiah. Not that he can tell this anyone without risking his own head.

“You’re thinking about him again,” Morgan says and her hand trails down his naked chest. It’s not a question, but then she never needed to ask any when it came to him and John. She always seemed to know, and it’s one of the things he really appreciates about her. She is also beautiful. And clever, funny, independent and stubborn, and Jedikiah loves that about her. Well, likes. He likes it very much. Morgan is an amazing woman, but she's not John.

“So what?” He asks and grabs her wrist to stop her hand from moving.

“Nothing,” she answers and laughs so carefree as if he couldn’t just squash her mere existence with his bare hands. Then she wraps her free hand about the one that keeps her captive and gently tugs at it. “No need to be so harsh, you know. I would never harm your golden boy.”

“He isn’t a boy,” he corrects and lets her hand go.

“I suppose not … ” she smiles at him. “Not after what you’ve done to him.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Really? That’s the line you’re going with, Jedikiah?” She puts her chin on her clasped hands and follows his movements to get out of bed with her eyes. “I’ve seen the video files, you know. Tell me, why did you try to shoot him? Him, of all people? Was it some kind of if I can’t have him, no one can?”

“You’re walking on dangerous territory, Morgan,” he warns her quietly her while he gets dressed.

“Oh, you know me … ” she smirks at him. “Always living on the edge. I’m a bad, bad girl, after all.” He just huffs at her while he searches for his right sock. He really likes her, but she’s dangerous. She gets under his skin like few other people. And she sees too much. He’d be really better off with just putting a bullet between her eyes. But then, that’s what he should’ve done years ago to John. “Are you thinking about getting rid of us again?” she disrupts his train of thought and looks at him with something he’d rather not qualify as pitying. “Do you really think you can hide your relief that you didn’t manage to shoot John? From me? Oh, Jedikiah … ” She sits up and the blanket pools around her naked body. She’s beautiful, really, really beautiful, he thinks once again. But she has nothing on John’s lean body, lying completely relaxed next to him. Warm and happy and so perfect in every way.

And Jedikiah helped created that perfection.

Suddenly, he misses him with a force he hasn’t felt in months.

“I have to go now, Morgan.”

“Sure you do.” She laughs again and winks at him. “Try not to hurt him this time, will you?”

- fin