Work Text:
It's pretty ironic that this is the place where he's going to go out, in a church, of all places. Dean can't help the chuckle that bubbles past his lips, along with a mouthful of blood that he coughs onto the concrete in front of him. He huffs as he props himself up on one of the pews, more blood leaking from his temple. Whats even funnier than his dying in a church, is that it isn't just some random church. It's the same exact church where he almost lost Sam a year ago, the one that they almost closed Hell forever in, before Dean stopped him.
If that ain't poetic justice, he isn't sure what is.
He lets his head fall back and somewhere close by he hears Abaddon laughing, distracted by something he guesses, but despite the fact that he's about 99.9% sure that he is going to die right here on this cold and dirty floor, Dean wouldn't do it any different. He'd still stop Sam and even let Abaddon kick the living shit out of him again too, because technically Sammy's still kicking and Kevin is too and Cas... Dean closes his eyes for a minute and behind his lids he can see his best friend. The dork is in his blue Gas-n-Sip vest with that damn striped purple t-shirt underneath, maybe the vest isn't so bad after all. There's also a hint of a smile on Cas's face as he adjusts his name tag proudly. Cas is alive and so is everybody else in his life right now and that's all that really matters to Dean.
He distantly wonders where he'll be going after he finally kicks the bucket, which judging by the darkness beginning to tug at the edge of his vision, he thinks that'll be pretty soon. Heaven isn't exactly the Hilton, not with Metatron running things up there, and he has a feeling Abaddon might not let him off so easy if she happens to escape out of the devils trap bullet he shot between her eyes before Sam or Kevin show up to separate her ass piece by freaking piece.
Maybe she'll intercept his soul like Crowley did to Bobby? He feels a stab of fear run through him at that, because if Abaddon does that, Dean doesn't think he'll be able to get out of that one. No, he knows he won't. The only guy who ever managed that is a thousand miles away and probably taking inventory for tomorrow before he opens the mini mart up. Dean sighs and grunts when he tries to move, only to feel ripples of pain go through him, before giving up and slumping back. He tells Abaddon to "shut it and give it a rest, would ya?" when she starts to go on about what she plans on doing to him when she manages to get herself out of this. He just rolls his eyes and presses his hand down on the hole in his gut to keep from bleeding out.
Eventually he closes his eyes and he isn't sure how much time goes by before he hears the front door of the place being thrown open, the sickening sound of a machete meeting skin and a set of footsteps coming his way.
"Dean!"
Its three voices that call out his name and that pulls Dean out of his haze, but just barely. He feels hands on his shoulders, two sets this time, and they shake him hard.
"Damn it, Dean. Come on." he hears Sam plead and his fingers twitch. He's always tried not to disappoint his brother, to keep fighting even when all he wanted to do was stop, but he's just so damned tired.
There's more shaking, but Dean is still trying to decide if opening his eyes is worth it. Wouldn't it be easier for Sam if he was just gone and that was that? A clean break, they call it.
"Dean, you have to open your eyes. Right now."
This voice is deeper and it's not pleading, it's demanding with all the righteous fury Dean remembers, and it takes Dean by surprise when he hears it, brows furrowing in shock.
"I did not drag you out of Hell just to watch you die in front of my eyes, Dean Winchester. Do you hear me? I said open your eyes."
Cas's tone is furious and Dean thinks that he owes it to Cas to at least apologize before he goes. It's the least he can do. He sucks in a sharp breath when he jostles his hand where its pressed against his wound, trying to staunch the bleeding further, and he opens his eyes to see a set of blue ones staring back at him.
He hears Sam exhale loudly beside him in relief. He pulls his hand back from Dean's shoulder and says he's going to start the Impala so they can get to a hospital. Dean just shakes his head.
"S'okay, Sammy."
"The hell it is, Dean." Sam retorts. "I'm getting the car and you are getting in it and then we're taking you to the hospital. You don't get a choice in the matter." Dean winces at that. He was wondering if Sam was ever going to forgive him for letting Ezekiel hitch a ride with him, guess he'll never know.
"You're going to be fine." Sam mutters fiercely. He turns to Kevin then and nods determinedly before gesturing for Kevin to follow him as he rushes toward the door. "There's a towel in the trunk, need you to get it so we can stop the bleeding..."
Sam and Kevin disappear in a hurry and Dean turns to Cas with half of his trademark smile, a small surge of energy fueling it. "Stubborn as hell that kid." Dean chuckles weakly. Cas stays silent, gaze focused downward and eyes glassy. "Cas?"
"You shouldn't talk. You need to save your strength. If we don't get this bleeding to stop then--"
"Cas, look, just in case I--"
"Don't." Cas interrupts bitingly, lips pressed into a firm line and eyes narrowed to slits.
"But--" Dean needs to get this out while he still can. He needs Cas to know.
"I don't want to hear it, Dean. Tell me after we get you to the hospital."
"Cas." Dean says, voice heartbroken at his best friend's naivety. "The nearest one is seven miles out. I remember from when Sam had stopped the trials. I won't make it." Dean informs him grimly. That seems to chip at Cas's facade and his face falls.
"Dean, please." Cas whispers, voice breaking at the last second and Dean's gaze softens considerably.
"Hey, hey." Dean reaches for Cas's hand with the one that isn't pressed against his stomach. "Its gonna be fine, alright? You're gonna be fine. You're gonna go back to work for Nora and you're gonna keep living your life. I want you to get a nice apartment and keep your angel blade on you at all times, got it? Because we haven't been able to gank that Bartholomew dick yet and I want you to be happy, Cas. Can you do that for me?"
"Dean." Cas murmurs pathetically as he shuffles closer to Dean with his head bowed.
"And I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Cas, for kicking you out. I didn't want to. I really fucking wanted you there, with me... and Sam, but Ezekiel--"
"Sam told me while we were looking for you. He told me what you did. Its okay, Dean." Cas tells him, one hand clasped in Dean;s and the other petting into Dean's hair to soothe him.
"No, it's not. I shouldn't have left you on your own like that. You deserve better." Than me, Dean wants to say, but he doesn't. He wonders if Cas catches it anyway.
"Stop. That couldn't be farther from the truth." Cas tells him resolutely and Dean shakes his head back and forth slowly.
"Why because of what happened with Crowley and Sam and the whole God thing? Cas, you fucked up and made mistakes. We all have. You gotta stop blaming yourself. You did what you did for the right reasons." Dean insists. There's more he wants to say, some things he wants Cas to know and other things he and Cas never got to talk about or hash out. He wants to lay it all out on the table, but his head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. He grits his teeth to keep his eyes open and keep them locked on Cas, who has tears brimming that Dean wants wipe away with his fingertips, if only he could lift his hand.
"That's not what I meant. I don't deserve any better than you, because there is no better, Dean."
Dean swallows hard and feels Cas squeeze his hand tightly as his eyes start getting heavy.
Cas starts to panic as Dean's eyes flutter closed and he grips Dean so hard its borderline painful. "I can't save you. If I had my Grace-- but I don't. I'm human and I can't help you. Dean, please, don't leave me."
Dean's heart clenches and he attempts to pry his eyes open just enough so he can see Cas one last time to no avail, so he smiles weakly and mutters to him instead.
"Already saved me, angel." Dean tells him genuinely and he's grateful for it, every single day. Without Cas, Dean doesn't know where he'd be. He's gotta be the best thing that has ever happened to Dean even after Heaven, Hell and everything in between. He listens to Cas's sharp and ragged intakes of breath, somewhere in the back of his mind he registers it as crying, but he's beyond the point of being able to reach out and comfort him, even though he wants to more than anything. After that thought, there is nothing and Dean is gone.
Then just like that he's gasping for a breath, eyes wide open and heart pumping in his chest.
"Sam said I could be of some assistance." An unfamiliar voice and face tells him matter of factly and Dean squints at the man currently standing over him and beside Cas.
"Zeke? That you?" Dean questions gruffly as he props himself up into the sitting position. Talk about in his dying hour.
"Yes." Ezekiel answers simply.
"Thought you got the hell out of dodge?"Dean counters and Ezekiel glances over at where Sam is standing beside Kevin.
"I did, but your brother can be... extremely persuasive when he wants to be." Ezekiel explains and Sam shrugs sheepishly, as if he didn't just get an angel to resurrect him.
"I can see that." Dean replies swiftly just before he turns to Sam with a raised brow, because calling on Ezekiel, after what Dean did is really something and he can't help but get a warm feeling in his gut.
"What happened to the hospital?" he wonders in amusement as he tries to keep from grabbing his brother in a bear hug.
"I thought of something better." Sam retorts easily, a small smile forming and Dean thinks that maybe, just maybe, he and Sam are gonna be okay.
Before Dean can even manage to open his mouth or come up with a witty reply, he suddenly has a lapful of Cas and ends up fallng flat on his back with a grunt when Cas launches into his arms. Cas is definitely heavier than he looks, or maybe just stronger, but the way Cas is pressed against him, well, Dean can't complain.
"Don't you ever do that again." Cas growls against Dean's chest and Dean lets out a huff of air before nodding compliantly. He wraps his arms securely around Cas's back and brings his lips down to the crown of Cas's head to kiss his hair.
"Yeah, okay." Dean promises and there's a smile on his face when he does.