Work Text:
Look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay a while
and she will be loved.
Maroon 5
IT HAS BEEN A YEAR since they broke up, and Dick is still there observing the way she reacts to the simplest of things. She would always pretend that she’s fine, and that she’s moved on already. But of course, Dick knows her better than that.
He catches on to the way Artemis forgets to wash the dishes sometimes in her own apartment because it used to be Wally who does that. He doesn’t miss the times when Artemis would stare blankly at the spot in front of her during dinner, because it used to be where he sits. And he would be lying if he says that it doesn’t break him when he sees her like that.
She’s lifeless, and broken. But she puts on a front that makes it seem like everything is okay, and that she’s actually fine.
Two months ago, Artemis knocked on the door of his apartment and asked if she was still welcome on the team. Dick didn’t have it in him to say “no”, in spite of his awareness that the cause of this action is because Wally left her and she’s trying to fill the hole inside her heart.
The younger members of The Team are more than willing to treat Artemis as their superior though, despite her long period of absence. She looks happy, and Dick thinks that he made the right decision of reinstating her as his second in command.
But her loneliness doesn’t stop right there. In fact, it gets worse sometimes when Impulse comes into the room and greets her like she is an actual family member.
(Well she kind of is, until Wally broke up with her and introduced Linda Park to the rest of his family after five months. They love Linda. Probably more than they ever loved Artemis.)
IT SMELLS LIKE LIQUOR in her apartment, and Dick assumes that Artemis is drinking with Zatanna like she always did. It’s not even the kind of drinking where she would tell Zatanna about how she actually feels. No. The kind of drinking she does during nights like these are accompanied by tears that she never really bothers to explain.
However, he understands. His breakup with Babs did leave him in a bad shape for a few months, but he recovered and is now maintaining a steady friendship with his ex-girlfriend. Their breakup is a mutual agreement that they should just stay friends. It broke him for a while, but he’s okay now.
And he’s sure that the process will be just the same for Artemis.
She’ll cry about Wally and how he left her, she’ll curse him out and scream every profanity known to man along with his name, and then she’ll get over it.
Artemis is one of the strongest persons he knows, and he’s sure that a boy as idiotic as Wally West isn’t enough to break someone like Artemis fucking Crock.
“Zee?” He asks, voice loud and clear as he places the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter.
No Zatanna came out of Artemis’ room. Nothing but the dead silence greets him along with the heavy smell of vodka running up his nose.
With a sigh, he makes his way to Artemis’ room and as soon as he opens the door, he hears her sobs echoing all over the room. The entire room is a mess, but nothing looks messier than the way she looks at the moment. Her eyes are swollen and her cheeks are stained with tears.
“Get out, Dick.” She spits out his name like it’s laced with poison, or something equally deadly. He’s learned to not be offended when she does this, though.
“No.” He tells her, “How many times do I have to tell you to just let me be here for you? It’s fucking hard seeing you like this.”
A cold stare meets his gaze.
“Everyone leaves, Dick. There’s no point in letting people be there for you when they all walk out in the end.” Her statement is followed by a bitter laugh, cut off by another batch of sobs.
HE DOESN’T LEAVE HER, not even when she finally wakes up in the morning. She is experiencing a hangover along with a broken heart. Dick couldn’t find it in himself to leave her today. He calls the police station and says that he has an emergency at home.
It’s not really a lie, but it’s not exactly the truth either. Artemis’ apartment might as well be his too for he’s always here, always checking if she’s okay. He comes here before he goes to work, and comes back after his shift.
On the rare occasion that Artemis is actually doing fine, they’d sit on the couch and talk about their day while watching reruns of Friends with coffee. But for the most part, Artemis is drowning herself in Law course works just to keep her mind off her ex-boyfriend.
Dick thinks that if she keeps on doing her course works at that pace, she’ll find herself gaining enough credits to actually graduate earlier than expected. But he wouldn’t dare encourage her to keep on studying twenty four-seven, though. It’s unhealthy.
He gives her aspirin and a glass of water as soon as her eyes adjusts to their surroundings. She doesn’t glare at him this time – or snap at him, she just stares at him and takes the medicine.
“You’re lucky it’s a Saturday.”
“I have a four pm class every Saturday.”
“Well you’re staying home and I’m going to stay with you. Your habits are unhealthy as hell and I’m not going to let you shoulder all that heartbreak alone.”
She doesn’t speak. She just sinks further into her queen-sized bed that used to be for her and Wallace West. Dick feels a little heavy, there’s a slight pain inside his chest that he couldn’t really formulate where it came from. Maybe it’s from looking at a broken Artemis – or maybe it’s because he’s guilty that he’s doing the things Wally was supposed to do.
A few months into Artemis’ and Wally’s relationship, he remembers that Wally did tell him to take care of Artemis if Wally isn’t able to be there for his girlfriend. He’s sure that Wally would understand this. Besides, it’s not like he feels anything for his best friend’s ex-girlfriend anyway.
Artemis is his friend too, and his most trusted lieutenant.
I’m not doing anything wrong. He finalizes.
His chest is still sinking, though.
Sunlight is leaking through the blinds and specks of dust could be seen floating in the room. Those specks of dust are just like him and the girl in front of him. Both are just tiny pieces of dust in the vast expense of this universe. There is a much bigger universe out there, and Dick thinks that someone out there can treat her better than Wally ever did.
“How do you really feel?”
The blonde inhales sharply, looking at the window before speaking. “I feel like shit. Like I’m not good enough for him, or for anyone. I came into the team as a fucking replacement for Roy. My dad trained me instead of Jade because there’s no one else to train, and he’d always tell me how shit I am at fighting. And then Wally came along and we had a great run, but then I leave for four months to pursue my dreams and he finds another person.”
“He’s an idiot. He’s not supposed to make you feel like that.”
“But he still did. And he’s your best friend, you’re not supposed to talk down to him like that.”
“My idiot best friend who wasted a really amazing girl. But that’s life, Artemis, we lose some people and we gain some. Please don’t stop living just because Wally couldn’t see your worth.” Seeing her like this hurts him. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, Artemis did grow on him. He couldn’t find it in himself to not think of her; if she’s doing okay, if she’s sleeping at night without twisting and turning on her bed, if she’s getting to her classes without stopping in the middle of the street because she remembers Wally.
He cares about her, even more than he has ever cared for anyone else in the world. And maybe that’s bad, but he doesn’t really give a damn anymore. Now, he’s made it a mission to make sure that Artemis is actually going to turn out okay.
“You’re saying that because you think it’s what I want to hear, but no. Dick, what I need to hear is how pathetic I’m being when it’s been a year and I still cry over him and overwork myself in Law school because I couldn’t move on. How can I, though? He’s been my boyfriend for seven years and we’ve lived with each other for half of the time we’re together. Then he goes and finds another girl while I’m gone and now he’s engaged to her? It’s unfair!”
For a moment his jaw drops. That news didn’t quite reach him yet.
“He’s engaged to Linda?”
“Yes. Just yesterday. It was all over social media.”
This time, he doesn’t hold back. He wraps his arms around her, and she cries on his shoulder. It feels strange, like he’s not supposed to be doing this – but it feels comfortable at the same time. He doesn’t really admit it to himself yet, but he wants to stay in this moment a little longer.
“It’s hard, having to force myself to adjust to the fact that he’s not here. That I have to do everything by myself now and he’s not here to help me out with the things I find hard. Even washing the dishes gets so hard for me because I was so used to Wally being there next to me drying those dishes and I – I just hate this. I hate this so much, Dick.”
Artemis has never opened up like this to him before, and Dick doesn’t quite know what to tell her anymore; in fear that he might say something wrong. So he squeezes her tighter instead, just to show her that he’s willing to listen and that he’s not going to leave anytime soon.
“You could have just said so. I would be more than willing to fill in for him until you’re all right.”
“Do you even know what you’re saying? It doesn’t work like that, Dick! I’m supposed to move on and find my way. Yes I could use a little help but not to the extent where you’re willing to actually fill in the gap Wally had left. That doesn’t work. Trust me, I’ve had lots of first-hand experience.” There’s a certain tone of desperation in Artemis’ voice that he manages to catch.
Not once in his life did he ever hear Artemis talk in that way, and it scares him and it hurts him to think that his best friend has done so much to the point where a girl like her would cry over him. By now, Dick’s not even sure if he still understands her situation anymore – but he’s willing to try to understand it over and over again. He’s willing to try even if he doesn’t really get it in the end. He’s willing to try because he’s finally taken it upon himself to do so.
He laces his fingers with hers. An act of friendship and comfort that he does to the people who matters most to him. The room is silent, save for the sobs of the blonde archer and her occasional whispers of ‘I hate him’. Artemis doesn’t flinch, or try to pull herself away from him. In fact, she actually closes the remaining distance between the two of them by snuggling closer to him – as close as she could.
(But in spite of how many claims Artemis makes about hating Wally, Dick is sure that she will never ever hate Wallace West.)
When the room goes quiet and Artemis stops crying, Dick pulls himself away from her and holds out his pinkie.
“I want you to promise me that you’ll let people in, okay? It doesn’t have to be a shitload of people. It could just be me, or Zee, or Ollie, or anyone else you could think of. Because honest to God it hurts seeing you like this – you’re a mess and you’re barely even holding on. So please, just let someone in. Is that okay with you?”
Surprisingly, she agrees without any hesitations or bargains. Their pinkies intertwine and their thumbs meet. Dick places a sincere kiss on her forehead.
“I’m going to be here with you every step of the way. I promise.”