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It’s not that Kara didn’t know what happened between Jack Spheer and Lena. She’d been there when he was taken down, after all, as Supergirl. When the DEO stepped in she’d rushed to Lena, a cut rose on the city street in her crumpled red dress. She talked her through the leftover fog of mind-control, stayed with her until her eyes went from vacant to terrified to devastated. And Lena had texted her, texted Kara, that night, told her what had happened in a long message that finished with “I’m okay now, just tired, and it’s late so if you’re reading this get some rest and I’ll see you for lunch tomorrow. Goodnight Kara.”
(She’d been midair when she’d read that last part, flouting J’onn’s ‘no texting and flying’ restriction 2 minutes away from Lena’s apartment. She turned around and went back home.)
Nothing prepared her to see Lena that next day, though, smaller than she’d ever looked before on the couch in her office, all folded in at the edges.
“Kara,” With her smile she tries for bright and falls short, but it grows a little more genuine when Kara smiles back and sits next to her.
“How’re you holding up?” Traditionally, they keep to one couch cushion each. But today they share one, and Kara is close enough to bump her shoulder into Lena’s at the end of her question and feel the warmth of Lena’s thigh against hers.
“Can I tell you something a bit strange?”
Kara nods. “Of course. Anything.”
“It’s just . . .” Lena sighs and looks down, and Kara ducks her head to meet her eyes, softly encouraging her to continue. “When Jack kissed me, it’d been a while since someone had kissed me. A long while. And it was . . . god, Kara, it was awful.”
Kara takes her hand, brushes her thumb over Lena’s knuckles. “You don’t have to talk about it if it’s too hard.”
“No I –” Lena shuts her eyes. “He kissed me, and I felt myself kissing him, but I wasn’t choosing to do it. It was like . . .” Red kryptonite memories rush back to Kara and she fills in the blanks. It was like my brain was screaming to my body from underwater. It was like I was paralysed. It was like the worst dream you’d ever have, a nightmare where you can’t run no matter how badly you want to. “I couldn’t do anything. I was in my head but not my body. And I – it was –” Kara squeezes her hand, trying to bring her back out of that place. She wishes she'd punched Jack about ten times more than she had.
“The worst part is . . .” Her voice wavers a little, nearly breaks. “Kara, you know how dangerous things are for me with my mother out there. I’ve had a few close calls lately. And sometimes I find myself wondering throughout the day, little things, like – is this my last sunset? My last glass of wine? The last movie I watch? The last time I see you?” Her eyes meet Kara’s and they’re shining, sea-glass green and vivid through tears.
“So all I could think was – what if this is my last kiss? What if he kills me, or I live until tomorrow and my mother kills me, and the last time I’ve been kissed was against my will? Not only that, with someone who doesn’t even care about me? What if my last kiss meant nothing?”
Kara’s throat tightens at the thought of Lena feeling so close to death, so close to the thing that Kara herself feared so deeply for her. Passing her thumb across Lena’s knuckles over and over she tried to collect all the things she wanted Lena to hear, wanted Lena to feel. You’re safe with me. I’ll protect you. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You mean everything to me. I would do anything for you. A few tears fall from Lena’s eyes and the impulse to brush them away is so strong that her fingers itch.
“You don’t have to feel scared, Lena. Supergirl would never let anything happen to you, you know that right? And neither will I. I promise you.”
Lena nods. There’s a desperate ache deep in Kara’s chest at the downturned, bittersweet smile on Lena’s face.
“And if – and if it’s still weighing on you then I can just –” With a hand on Lena’s shoulder she leans in and presses her lips to the soft curve of Lena’s cheek. It’s brief, but she feels everything – Lena’s small, sharp inhale; the subtle pressure of Lena tilting into towards her touch; Lena’s eyelashes fluttering against her before she pulls away. Lena’s heartbeat thuds, loud, in Kara’s ears and she swallows. Lena just looks at her, and Kara adjusts her glasses and clears her throat, eyes flicking to the colour high on Lena’s cheekbones.
“There,” Kara says lightly, wrapping her arm around Lena’s shoulders, breaking her fixed gaze. “Now your latest kiss is from someone who cares about you.” She squeezes Lena’s arm, trying to lift the strange solemnity of the moment.
“And it won’t be your last, Lena.” She adds, and when Lena looks up at her with raised eyebrows she feels herself blush and nearly stutters through a revision of that last part to make it less suggestive, but Lena just smiles and grabs her hand instead and soothes her thumb down her palm, across her lifeline.
“Thank you, Kara.”