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tyler's suggestion had thrown josh into a fit of giggles, the beautiful sound cutting in and out on tyler's cell phone, much to his annoyance. "where are you?" he vaguely made out a what? hold on along with more static so loud it was actually necessary to pull the phone back a few inches. he scowled at the screen.
he was nearly at the point of hanging up and texting the boy when a slamming door echoed across the line and the static faded. "sorry," josh's voice finally clear. more shuffling, josh finally settling onto the hotel bed. "wind," he offered simply. "what were you saying?"
"why were you even outside?" tyler tried to keep the irritation out of his voice, he didn't have all that long to talk. he could practically hear the smirk, "not all of us are introverts, yknow." he ignored that, fiddled with the drawstring on his (josh's) sweatshirt. they shared clothes too much for their own good, they were going to get caught one of these days.
"i was saying," paused for josh's quiet laugh, his heart constricting for a moment at the distance, "i want to get a nice hotel room when we get there. a big one. with a view, new zealand's got a good view. not that we'd be spending that much time looking at it."
he imagined the pink tinge across the drummer's skin, couldn't keep the corner of his mouth from turning up slightly. he'd never understood why things like this still flustered the older boy, after so long. it was why he'd refused to discuss this until he'd locked himself in his hotel room. apparently discussing any kind of physical interaction over the phone in public (or at all) was out of the question. it was ridiculous. but it was undeniably one of the things that endeared him to tyler. "t'sounds good," softly, and tyler closed his eyes, let himself picture josh curled up in unfamiliar blankets, pillow hugged to his chest the way he always did when he fell asleep without tyler. he sighed, half affectionately and half wistfully. "i just miss it," he murmured into the phone, "i miss you."
josh was quiet, undoubtedly looking down at his hands, twisting the sheets around his fingers absentmindedly. tyler wanted to write pages upon pages of lyrics about his lover's mannerisms, and he could, without even being there. he was fairly predictable, he noted fondly, almost said as much before the voice on the other end of the line finally pulled him out of his thoughts. "me too." he hated the thinly veiled sadness in josh's voice.
he stretched his fingers out involuntarily, yearning to hold something, anything, of josh. but they found only air. he sighed through his nose, staring dejectedly at his hands, adjusting his grip on the phone. "promise it'll be worth the wait."
---
the plane was a passenger short but tyler seemed to be the only one bothered by the fact. josh was meeting them in new zealand straight from LA, and tyler knew it was practical but it was odd, not having someone clinging to his hand the first half hour of a flight. his skin felt too cold.
another thing he was incapable of not noticing was the looks. ranging from suggestive to annoyed (brad, mark, respectively). the criticism was inevitable every time he asked mark for a favor, this one in particular being that he book them an especially nice room this time, with a sizable bed and decent view. mark did as he was asked, played the loyal friend and crew member, but not without chagrin. "you two do know," they barely made it ten minutes into the flight before the warnings began, "that i am almost always in the room directly next to you. right?"
tyler turned to glance at him, hoping his expression accurately portrayed how tired he was of having this conversation. "we're aware."
"so it's safe to assume that for once, you might be quiet?" someone breathed a laugh behind tyler's seat, and the corner of his mouth quirked up. brad was just as easily put out with the two of them as mark at times, but mark's annoyance was too much of an amusement. not to mention being laughed at only pissed him off further, and tyler knew as well as anyone brad would never pass up that opportunity.
tyler only smiled, tried his best to look tired, innocent. "we'll try, mark."
when the annoyance and amusement between his two friends eventually led to bickering, tyler turned to any music he could find that would distract him from focusing on the empty seat beside him. he scrolled through his phone, not really reading the words slipping across the screen. having both earbuds in felt strange, being that he always left one out, tucked into his shirt, both so josh could get his attention and so the drummer could fall asleep on his shoulder without tugging it out. his gaze traveled over to the window, to the sky behind it. he wasn't sure why some trips were harder, why some times apart were more difficult than others. he thought maybe it was unhealthy, that he shouldn't be this dependent on another person. though, with josh, it wasn't as if he had much say in the matter. or wanted to. once he'd fallen, he'd known there was no getting back up. that the hold josh had on him wasn't the kind to loosen. but even if it evoked this emptiness, this hollow feeling deep in his bones, when they were apart, it was worth it. josh always was.
---
it wasn't as though tyler was incapable of functioning, of existing, without josh. as fond as they were of one another, as much as they preferred together to apart, they weren't that couple. but as much as he told himself that, still, when tyler's hands finally finally pulled josh into him, wrapped around the boy's frame like he was afraid of letting go, it was as if a missing piece of him fell directly back into place.
mark and brad learned a long time ago to not get in the way of their reunion. after quick hellos and goodnights, they scattered, all off to three separate rooms. mark's room was not, tyler noted once they reached the hallway of their floor, next to theirs, it seemed. he fought the urge to roll his eyes.
he stopped short before their door, key card glinting in the golden light as he tapped it against his palm. he studied josh's questioning glance, the way his eyes crinkled slightly in an unsure smile, the way he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed and tucked into himself. tyler wanted to stand there and memorize every piece of him, exactly like this. anyone who saw them standing there like this, all fond eyes and secretive smiles, would get a few ideas. but it was late, too late, and tyler had ceased caring.
he held out a hand, which josh took with a small laugh, fingers tangling as tyler tugged him closer. his free hand slipped into the fading yellow hair he'd become so accustomed to, guided josh's head to his shoulder. "you have no idea how hard it's been," he murmured, carding his fingers through the strands, "waiting for this." josh's arms snaked around tyler's waist, erased the remaining space between them.
"i have some idea," he nudged tyler's shoulder with his forehead, and tyler vaguely registered the smile against his neck, sharp intake of breath when teeth grazed his skin. tyler grinned into the boy's hair, "you ready?" josh straightened, tyler slipped in the keycard, tugged josh forward with a hand on his waist.
josh barely had time to breathe once the door shut before tyler pressed him back into it, leaned, caught the older boy's lips with his own. there was no point in attempting to silence the soft noises deep in his throat, tyler was all too used to them, too enamored with them, for josh to care to hold them back. fingers slipped beneath the thin fabric of his shirt, tugged on the hem. off.
josh obliged without hesitation, tyler's impatient fingers chasing the fabric up, sprawling out and over the dips and curve of his ribs, tracing, exploring, down, down, josh's breathing already uneven.
tyler paused then, thumbs rubbing circles into the soft skin of josh's hips, noses bumping together. "too cold?" josh only shook his head, stepped away from the door, closer into him. "m'good."
his eyes had begun to adjust to the dark room, he could nearly make out tyler's soft smile as he pulled josh back, toward the bed, toward the thing they'd been longing for these past few weeks. "c'mon," tyler's voice just above a whisper.
within the span of five minutes, they were in position, and tyler wondered what mark or brad would think if they came bursting in at this moment. his fingers traced lazy lines down josh's spine, evoked small shivers every so often. josh buried his face further into the crook of tyler's neck, the fabric of his sweatshirt, and the younger boy couldn't help but smile to himself. no telling what their companions thought they were up to. he was sure, though, whatever it was, that it didn't involve steady breathing, or the tv in the corner on low, or any kind of clothing. but here they were, half-awake, in flickering light, wrapped in too many layers.
maybe they were ridiculous, all this time apart and here they were cuddling. they probably should be doing something a little more exciting, earning noise complaints from all the surrounding guests. but all tyler could think of in the time apart was getting josh back in his arms, in this close personal space, and doing nothing but existing. and if they did no more than that the rest of the night, no one had to know.
tyler watched josh for a bit, watched him exist and breathe, and thought that of everything he'd seen so far in new zealand, this might be his favorite view. he pressed a half-hearted kiss to the boy's temple, murmured a missed you against his skin.
josh hummed in response, smiled to himself. almost 7 years of this, you'd think they'd be a little better at spending time apart. but he missed tyler in those moments the same way he'd missed him after the first time they kissed, the first time they went their separate ways before a show, the first time he left home for LA all alone. some things like this didn't get easier, even if the honeymoon stage was long gone.
he stretched an arm across the younger boy's chest, fingers twisting in the already-wrinkled sheets, tyler's hand instinctively moving to rest on the brightly inked skin, tracing the lines and curves. josh sighed, contentment and affection and exhaustion all in one breath. tyler had been right, he noted in one last coherent thought. it was worth the wait.